


The Courtyard

by LaTessitrice



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: AU, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-06
Updated: 2011-10-06
Packaged: 2017-10-24 08:57:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 90,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/261487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaTessitrice/pseuds/LaTessitrice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella is in time to save Edward in Volterra, but he doesn't give her chance to explain that they are both alive. Since Edward believes they are in heaven, he takes the opportunity to make the reunion memorable in a way she never dared imagine.</p><div class="center">
<br/><img/></div>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Courtyard

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by watching the reunion scene in New Moon, and seeing the utter happiness on Edward’s face when he has Bella in his arms again – it made even my black little heart go ‘awww’. Of course, the fact that Robward was half naked then recaptured my attention and led to the following one-shot.
> 
> Stephenie Meyer owns everything but what my (deviant) imagination concocts.
> 
> We all know the events leading up to Bella throwing herself at Edward in Volterra. My deviation starts from page 452 (of the UK paperback edition).

“ _I can’t believe how quick it was. I didn’t feel a thing – they’re very good,” he mused, closing his eyes again and pressing his lips against my hair._

 

“You smell like heaven,” he murmured. His grip around me tightened, and in a whirl of color we moved, so quickly the world was still spinning behind my eyes when Edward came to a stop. I knew we were out of the shadow of the clock tower, but couldn’t tear my focus away from him to look. “I must be in heaven, if you’re here with me.” His fingers were stroking a path down my face and neck, little brushes that sent sparks along my frayed nerves.

“Edward, I’m not – ” I started, but was cut off by his lips on mine.

Oh,  _this_  was what I’d been missing all these months. This connection, soft meeting hard, warm meeting cool, the way he set my pulse pounding. He cradled me against him because I was incapable of holding myself up, and it was all I could do to keep my arms around his neck, and my body pressed up against him. The taste of him, the scent of him that I was submerged in – all the months faded away, and it was like we’d never been apart.

I put everything I had into it, waiting for the moment when Edward would pull away from me, but when it came, it wasn’t what I expected at all.

My body stayed moulded to his, and his lips only left mine to whisper to me, brushing against my mouth as he spoke.

“I’m sorry I left you.” Soft as moth’s wings, he grazed his lips over mine. “I’m sorry I lied to you.” Another barely-there kiss. “It was only to protect you.” His tongue slipped from his mouth and licked softly along my lower lip, leaving a trail of sweetness behind. I had to gasp for air, taking his breath in as my own, and my memory hadn’t done justice to the scent of him. “I never stopped loving you.” He took advantage of my parted lips to push his tongue into my mouth, not tentatively at all, and all sensible thought left my head – I was lost to new sensations. He’d never attempted this before.

He pulled away again when all the air was gone from my lungs. “I can do so much now that I can’t hurt you anymore.” His smile was bright and exultant. Oh. He still thought he was dead –

“Edward,” I tried again, “This isn’t – ”

“Please,” he cut in, “please tell me you forgive me.” The world narrowed to just his dark eyes, locked on mine, liquid onyx that swirled so deep, sucking me under. I couldn’t have told him no even if I meant to.

“Of course I do.”

His smile returned, burning the world away in its brilliance, and I could only smile at him in return. He took a step forward, moving me backwards. My back hit a wall, not roughly, but it snapped me back to reality for a second.

We were in a small courtyard, bound on four sides by lemon-colored buildings with shuttered windows, the high wooden gate we’d come through fastened behind us and keeping the rest of the world on the outside. In the centre of the stone-flagged floor was a small fountain, the midday sun glinting off the water as it spouted from an ornamental tap.

Edward stole my attention back by beginning to kiss a path down my neck, his tongue sweeping out at intervals to lick, and when he moved on the sun warmed where his cool lips had been. My hands tightened on his bare shoulders, and the sun was so strong that it was even warming his flesh. The light sparkled from his skin, making my breath catch in my throat.

There was something I was supposed to tell him…

His hands had been securely wrapped around my waist, and one slid under my shirt to caress the skin on my back. It skimmed higher, his fingers stroking the length of my spine, and when he pulled away again I whimpered.

Both hands grasped the fabric of my shirt. He pressed into me, and I felt him, every part, against me – or rather, against my stomach – and I knew what his intentions were.

“Do you want this?” he asked, and his voice was harsh with strain. My body reacted to it, and I could only nod my head in response, not having the breath for speech.

The fabric was over my head and at my feet before I had chance to blink, his hands running up my arms and down my back again, and when he leaned against me to kiss me we were skin to skin, his as cool as the stone at my back. His hands found the clasp of my bra and that was quickly gone too. He swept his fingers over my shoulders and down, cupping me gently. Even during this he kept control of the kiss, and it was always his tongue in my mouth, or meeting somewhere in the middle. He was being careful of me even when he didn’t think he needed to be.

He stroked my right breast, and it set me gasping and writhing against him. He moaned and pulled away from the kiss, a small smile of satisfaction on his face as he bent his head, licking back down my throat and chest until his mouth met his hand.

I was aware, dimly, that not too far away a festival was going on, and anyone walking past the gate could hear us. That the houses overlooking the courtyard might be inhabited at this moment. But I couldn’t quiet the sounds that fell from my mouth as he continued his path down my body. In an instant my jeans were gone from my body, along with my sneakers, and I was being lifted.

Edward had raised me up, so now I was wrapped around him, my face a little higher than his and our hips so close together. I tried to wriggle against him, but he held me still, sucking at the skin of my neck until I cried out. “More,” I panted.

I was dimly aware that his jeans were gone now too, because my legs were wrapped around smooth flesh.

He swallowed my whimpers and gasps as we kissed, his position pinning me to the wall so I couldn’t grind against him. One hand cupped my face, stroking my cheekbone lightly so goosebumps broke out across my entire body, and the other caressed my side. That hand slid to my hip, then around so it was directly above where I wanted it to be.

One finger slide beneath the elastic of my panties, and I shrieked when his cold skin met my overheated flesh. “Oh, Edward, oh – ”

He circled slowly, with the lightest pressure, and there wasn’t a thing I could do to increase it. The finger slid lower, and I shook against him as he pushed it inside me.

I could feel vibrations coming from Edward’s chest, and it took a moment for me to realise that he was growling, long and low. I felt my wetness seep down his fingers at this epiphany, and he added another inside me as the growling increased in volume. I clenched involuntarily around him, and he pumped the fingers a few times, but I didn’t have the control to make a noise anymore. My entire body was surrendered to him.

Something was building in me, something huge coming toward me that would sweep everything else away, a storm on the horizon.

There was the shredding sound of fabric and cool air that told me my underwear was gone. Edward pulled his fingers away completely, bringing them to his mouth and sucking them clean.

He caught my gaze as he wrapped his arms back around my waist, and though his eyes flickered to my lips he didn’t kiss me. My back came away from the wall, and he slid to his knees, taking me with him, my legs still locked around him.

I could really feel him beneath me then, large and hard and thick, but I didn’t have enough room left in me to feel nervous. He shifted me so I knelt above him, and guided me so I was directly over him, and he was pressing against me.

My clumsiness had ridden me of my hymen long ago, so I didn’t have fresh blood to worry about, but as he gently lowered me down it knocked the breath out of me. He was so much bigger than his fingers, and for a long moment all I could feel was the pressure inside me, and I wasn’t entirely sure it was comfortable. But I stretched around him, inch by inch, and as I sank down he brushed places inside I’d never known I had.

After the longest minute, all of him was settled inside of me, and I rested my forehead against his. “I love you,” he whispered, voice harsh again, and I murmured it back to him, lost for a moment in the depth of his dark eyes.

He rocked his hips forward a fraction, and I clenched around him. He snarled, and that just caused another stream of wetness to coat him. I moved, lifting my hips and sinking back down, and it left me panting. I’d never understood how good this could feel.

He let me set the pace, and I rocked over him slowly, revelling in the movement of his flesh along my walls, each stroke a new discovery. He was growling, of course, and I felt it where we were connected. There was a spot that felt better than all the others, and I found a rhythm and an angle that meant he hit it every time I moved.

The clenching became more frequent, and every time it happened I felt there was something bigger waiting in the wings, and it caused Edward to snarl his own pleasure at the sensation.

Abruptly, I was on my back, lying on our pile of discarded clothes, and Edward was above me, every inch of his skin (what I could see) gleaming in the sunlight. I opened my mouth to tell him he was beautiful, but cried out wordlessly instead as he pushed back into me. He felt even bigger from this angle, and every inch of our skin touched, both warm from the patch of sunshine we lay in. He carefully kept his full weight off me, but it was delicious to have him pressed so closely against me.

I wrapped my legs around him, locking my feet together, and the pace he set was much quicker than mine had been. I lifted my hips to meet his a couple of times, but I couldn’t keep up with him, so I lay back and enjoyed the feel of him thrusting into me with so much power.

Not that I was still; I had to move whenever he hit that spot, and my hands slid down his back, my nails trying to find purchase and failing. He nuzzled into my neck, panting and whispering to me. I caught “I love you,” a few times, but the rest was in languages I couldn’t speak. I knew enough to recognise “J’adore,” in French and “Ti amo,” in Italian. I couldn’t concentrate as he increased the speed further, his hips a blur of movement; it looked like sparks in the air as the light flashed on his skin.

Suddenly, the storm that had been building hit me, my whole body surrendering to it. It burned along my nerves, from my curled-up toes and along my spine, leaving me spasming against Edward, clenching and unclenching around him with no rhythm. The feeling was concentrated where we joined, too intense to focus on.

I think his name fell from my mouth, but I couldn’t hear it over the thunder in my ears. Light flared behind my eyelids.

Edward stopped moving, holding himself as still as only he could be, then gave three quick, forceful thrusts that set me shuddering again. He pressed his forehead to mine and whispered “Bella,” into my open mouth as I felt a new wetness between my legs. This was from him, this time, not me, and the coolness of it made me tighten around him once more.

He half rolled off me, still joined at the hips – literally – and the world was a shining thing around me. I couldn’t look up at the sky as it was too bright, so I let me head loll to the side.

Edward buried his face in my hair and kissed down the side of my neck. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” over and again. I couldn’t say anything; I was waiting for the bones to return to my body. I felt the weight of his gaze on me the whole time, heavy with desire but deeply satisfied as well. I think it was the smile only a man could wear after – well, doing what we’d just done.

We rested for a while, his arm around my waist as he nuzzled into me, as I watched the water of the fountain catch and dance in the light, the little flashes reminding me of Edward’s skin. The only sounds were the tiny gurgle it made, and my own breathing. This courtyard here, this little square of paradise, was the loveliest place I’d ever been. No wonder Edward thought we were in heaven.

I turned my attention back to the man beside me – to the man still  _inside_  me – gazing at the way his skin glittered (all over!). When I looked at his face, I was taken aback; I’d never seen such serenity. Edward wasn’t the kind of person to wear that kind of open happiness and I felt a thrill as I realised that I was the cause of that joy.

“Bella,” he began, practically purring his words, “Why do you still smell so good?” He lifted a lock of hair to his face and inhaled.

“Because we’re not dead,” I said lazily.

He froze. “What?”

I couldn’t find it in me to mirror his tension. “This isn’t heaven, Edward. At least, not in the angels-and-harps sense. We’re still in Volterra. I came to stop you from killing yourself.”

The look on his face was incredulous. “But you said you forgave me! If this is real – I hurt you so badly – how could you – ”

“I love you. I forgive you,” I said simply. Nothing was going to kill what I was feeling right now.

“And we just – how could we have made love,” the last words were said with such reverence it sent a tingle through me, “without me hurting you?”

I thought about it for a long moment. “I think because you thought you couldn’t hurt me, you didn’t. You’ve always had less faith in yourself than I do.”

Realisation flickered in his eyes. “You could have told me.” His voice carried surprise, and something else – awe, maybe?

I let out a very un-Bella-like giggle. “I was distracted. I did try!”

His eyes darkened, not with anger, as he no doubt replayed the events in his memory. “Yes, I suppose you did, and you were.” He smirked at me, which set my pulse thundering. I envied his perfect memory, being able to replay what had just occurred between us in crystalline detail whenever he wanted.

He swallowed. “Yes, you still make my throat burn.” He lifted my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing each knuckle in turn, then turning it over the sucking gently on the thin skin of my wrist. “Although, it’s not such a problem anymore. Now I know we can  _be_  together, and I won’t hurt you.” He flashed that crooked grin at me and I exhaled sharply, understanding what he was saying. Now we’d done it once, successfully, he was willing to do it again. Of course, the fact that his body had responded inside me helped me figure that out.

I thought he would cover me again, and we would ‘try’ right then and there, but instead he slid from me. I moaned as he left me, missing the connection and the way it felt to be filled in that way.

“Ssssh,” he whispered as he picked me up bridal style, and carried me over to the fountain. While he was standing I had a good chance to finally look at his entire body, which would be a glorious thing in the sunshine, but I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the tender expression on his face.

The water in the fountain was only a few inches deep, and he set me down on the edge, then retrieved the torn scraps of what I presumed were my panties. He used them as a cloth to wipe me down. What he’d emptied into me had spilled out a little, and he cleaned me up, washing my own wetness from my thighs. The water was warm, and it soothed the soreness that I hadn’t even realised was there.

He cleaned himself too, and I had to avert my eyes as he touched his body. After everything we’d done, the sight of him still made me blush. He kissed both my cheeks, giving a very masculine chuckle. Oddly, though, standing butt naked in front of him didn’t make me nervous. The way Edward’s gaze scraped along my body made me feel proud – and beautiful, really beautiful, for the first time ever. This perfect specimen wanted me. He got aroused by me, and when he thought I was no longer in this world, he didn’t want to be either.

He dressed me reverently, placing soft kisses on my skin as he went: on my knee, on my hip, just above my belly button, on my elbow, on the swell of my breast, on my collarbone, and when I was fully clothed, on my forehead.

Edward was still completely nude, and as he stood before me I had a moment to drink the sight of him in for the first time. I suddenly wished I wasn’t clothed again, and he must have read my desire in my thundering heart, and the rush of wetness between my legs.

“We have no time now,” he murmured, brushing his fingertips along my jaw. He gave a soft smile. “Alice is coming and I don’t think you’re ready to become an exhibitionist. But I promise you,” his eyes darkened, and his body matched my own arousal “soon.”

He released me then to pull his own clothes on, and I had to lean against the wall for support as my legs sure weren’t going to hold me up. He was dressed in a few seconds, but his shirt had been discarded along the way, so he was still naked from the waist up. That didn’t help my situation much, and effectively meant we couldn’t leave the courtyard while the sun was still out.

I snuggled against his chest as we waited for Alice to arrive – Edward promised he could hear her thoughts nearby, but she was having trouble finding the right courtyard amongst the dozens of similar ones in Volterra. I didn’t really want to leave the courtyard at all. Surely we could just stay here for the rest of eternity, bathed in sunshine, naked and unashamed (and in Edward’s case, sparkling). Edward brought me out of that daydream.

“Bella, there’s one thing I need to ask you before Alice gets here.” There was a note of tension in his voice, and I instantly didn’t like it. “I haven’t had chance to prepare, but – ”

Then he sank to one knee in front of me, sunlight glinting from his entire torso, and looking up at me with such adoration. “Will you marry me?”

I gaped and pressed back against the wall more firmly. I honestly didn’t know what to say – Renee’s firm warnings about marriage drifting through my head. I was so young…

Alice slipped into the courtyard and threw herself at me. “Oh, Bella, you’re going to be such a beautiful bride!” she declared, and I looked at Edward blankly. Evidently he saw the answer he wanted in her head. He rose, and the weight of emotion in his face nearly knocked me over – it was a heady mixture of pride, and joy, and awe.

“She’s right, you will be a beautiful bride,” he whispered as he grazed his lips across my cheek.

“But I haven’t decided anything yet!” I protested.

“But you will, so let’s just assume it’s a done deed.” Alice beamed at me, smug in her capabilities. It was hard to stay annoyed with Edward smiling at me like that, and he was trying very hard to wrap himself around me.

“I come bearing gifts,” Alice announced proudly. She herself was wearing one of the red festival cloaks, her tan gloves still in place, and she’d found a big fedora someplace, keeping her face in shadow. She brandished another cloak, hat and glove set at Edward. I pouted as he covered up. “Sorry, I couldn’t get replacement underwear at such short notice,” she said, her face carefully blank. I flushed as I realised what she’d probably seen.

Edward narrowed his eyes at her, but she lacked the decency to look ashamed. “We have twenty minutes to get out of Volterra,” she continued, “but we do have time to stop off in Florence while we’re in Italy – Edward is going to find you the perfect engagement ring on the Ponte Vecchio, Bella…” She prattled on as we trailed after her, Edward’s arm around my waist. He smiled at whatever vision he saw in her head. I was barely listening, entirely captivated by his proximity.

“We have plenty of time on the plane to come up with an excuse for Charlie. And although I can’t see it properly because of those wolves, I think the situation with Victoria will be resolved by the time we get back to Forks…”

We were back among the crowd, but I very clearly heard Edward growl “Wolves?” Then, as he picked another image from Alice’s head, “Cliff diving? MOTORBIKES?” I avoided his eyes.

“It won’t matter soon enough, Edward, “Alice said over her shoulder. “She’ll be one of us after graduation.”

And they led me out of Volterra, and into everything Alice could see of our future.


	2. Blue Satin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this was a story was a one-shot, but I had some lovely reviews and many, many requests to continue it. Someone even sent me some Rob pictures for inspiration…and it worked! I was then up all night planning out the next few chapters when I had to get up for work the next morning. Every time my head hit the pillow, I had to get back out of bed to jot a new snippet down.
> 
> Ah well, who needs sleep?
> 
> Seriously, every time I received an email alert telling me I had a new review, or someone had added the story to their favourites, it was better than a caffeine shot in aiding me to write long past my bedtime.
> 
> I hope I can maintain the fluffiness and the lemons.
> 
> Thanks to twitty89 for reading through this chapter.
> 
> Stephenie Meyer owns everything but this all comes from my own deviant imagination…

**BLUE SATIN**

“Why do we have to twenty minutes to get out of Volterra?” I whispered to Edward as we waited in the shade of a doorway. Alice had just departed from us to go arrange transport. We stood face to face, my head tucked under his chin and both his arms around me.

“Ten minutes, now,” he replied, “and it’s because the Volturi will come looking for me at that time.”

“And that’s bad?”

“Very much so. If they found you with me, it would end…badly. Humans aren’t supposed to know about our existence.”

I suppressed a shudder, and he stroked up and down my back. Even the threat of impending danger couldn’t shake the languorous feeling in my body at his touch.

Alice demonstrated her talent for larceny again, and although the new vehicle wasn’t a bright yellow sports car, it was more comfortable. Maybe that was just because I was cuddled up in the back with Edward.

I was sure, when Alice drove up in the midnight blue Audi saloon (with tinted windows), that Edward would insist on driving, so I was shocked when he let Alice remain in the front. It made more sense when he pulled me into the rear seats with him, and onto his lap.

“Shouldn’t I wear my seatbelt?” I asked, and he gave me a lazy smile.

“I’ve got hold of you.” His arms formed a loose cage around my torso, although one of his hands had slipped down my back and was cupping flesh south of my hips. I didn’t think his hand placement there had anything to do with protecting me. “Nothing’s going to happen that Alice won’t see first.”

The drive was quiet, and you could almost taste the relief as Volterra disappeared from view. Edward was far from still, running his fingers through my hair, down my neck and back, or rubbing his nose against mine and brushing soft kisses over any exposed skin.

Nobody spoke, and it felt like Edward and I were in our own private stratosphere, far away from Alice in the front. I didn’t see much of the landscape flashing by us, I was so wrapped up in the feast for the senses that Edward presented. With every breath I drew him in, reveling in his scent, and wherever my gaze fell on him, I had a new wonder to commit to memory.

I could have used the time to think about the events of the day so far, but I had so much emotion bubbling in me that the thoughts couldn’t make space for themselves; all I could do was  _feel_. Everything I’d seen on Edward’s face – the joy, the awe – was matched inside me, pushing against the inside of my skin until I felt too small to contain it. There would be time to ruminate later, if I felt the need to. This point in time was destined to be all about being in his arms again, and the elation it brought me.

At one point, Alice took a hairpin turn a little too fast, but Edward acted on his word and kept me in place on his lap. Instinctively I brought my hands up, ready to catch myself, and they came to rest on the bare skin of Edward’s chest.

His skin was cool in the air-conditioned space, and as smooth as I remembered. The contact made my memory flash on a moment in the courtyard – his naked skin against mine – and it sent my heart racing.

That caught Edward’s attention. “What are you thinking, love?” he asked softly.

I smiled at the so-familiar question, but then flushed as I glanced hastily at Alice, shaking my head at him to say I wouldn’t tell. He raised both eyebrows to show he understood, and the blissful smile broadened into a smirk.

A little while later, Alice broke into the bubble. “There’s a rest stop coming up. I think we should pull in, for Bella’s sake.”

I hadn’t wanted to say anything, but she was right. I needed to use the bathroom, then find something to eat and drink, then kiss Edward senseless. Not necessarily in that order.

The sky was surprisingly cloudy, especially after the bright sunshine of Volterra, but it gave Alice and Edward the freedom to move around. The little building was one step above a shack, but everything was clean, if basic. Edward nearly followed me into the bathroom, refusing to unwrap himself from around me, until I whined at him that I’d be embarrassed with him in there. Alice dragged him away.

I made sure my human moment was as brief as possible, but I took the chance to brush my teeth. I was already missing contact with Edward.

When I emerged, he was on a cell-phone talking in fluent Italian – it sounded very sensual. According to Alice, he was booking us a hotel in Florence. I wanted him to talk to me like that, the language dropping from his tongue like little drops of honey. I remembered that one phrase, ‘Ti amo’, and I knew it meant ‘I love you’ – he’d said it as we made love, right before I climaxed. The memory made goose bumps break out over my body.

They’d changed out of the red festival cloaks while I was in the bathroom, and Edward was in a shirt that I presumed Alice had packed. They were far less conspicuous this way. Edward pulled me into his side even as he continued speaking, and Alice handed me a slice of pizza on a napkin. It was huge – half the size of a normal pizza back home, but the base was so thin it flopped over.

“You’re supposed to fold it up to eat it,” she told me, and I obeyed, finally getting it orderly enough to take my first bite.

“Oh my God!” I said with my mouth full. I swallowed. “Why is the food this good in a place like this?”

She shrugged, as if to say ‘I wouldn’t know’. I’d been warned that the Italians took their food seriously, but I was expecting to be eating a greasy burger and fries when we stopped – not this slice of perfection. I nearly inhaled the rest of it.

Edward hung up. “We have a reservation. It’s very central too.” He planted a kiss in my hair. “How long until we get to Florence, Alice?”

“Another hour, hour and a half, maybe.”

“Good. That gives us plenty of time this evening. I’m taking you out for a meal, Bella, so you can sample the flavors of Italy.”

I wanted to tell him that I’d rather be sampling the flavors of Edward, but couldn’t bring myself to be brazen enough in front of Alice.

“Can we not get a flight home until tomorrow?” I asked.

“We could…” Edward paused, and Alice eyeballed him. I watched them stare each other down, obviously having one of their silent conversations, and I huffed while I waited for one of them to tell me what they were disagreeing about.

Apparently Alice won, because she spoke first. “Yes, we could get a flight home tonight Bella, but Edward says you need to rest, and you won’t be able to do that properly on a plane. Although I seriously doubt he’s only planning on using the hotel room for  _sleeping_.” She shot him an arch look but the only response she got from Edward was an elegant shrug. He didn’t try to deny it.

“I’ll be fine on the plane, really,” I argued, looking to Edward. “We should head back to Forks as soon as we can – Charlie will be spitting feathers as it is, and the longer we stay away, the worse it’s going to be.”

Edward’s mouth was pressed in a tight line. “That’s not the only reason,” he said, his voice as taut as his face. He didn’t seem to want to offer an explanation, so I looked to Alice.

“We know that I can’t see anything around the werewolves – if a person’s future merges with theirs, all I get is blackness. Earlier today I had a vision involving Victoria, the one I told you about. I know she will be encountering the wolves, because she can smell them getting close, then it all goes blank. I checked Charlie’s future, and he sees a plume of smoke in the distance, and you can tell by the color that it’s a vampire being burnt. That’s what makes me think that Victoria loses to the wolves.”

“Okay, this is a good thing.” A ring of tension in my chest that I’d been carrying since I knew Victoria was after me loosened, finally. “So when we get back to Forks, she’s gone?”

“Not if we go today,” Edward muttered tersely.

Alice shot him another dark look, before expanding on his words. “If we get the flight back tonight, the fight won’t have occurred yet. I can see it happening because Victoria has made the decision to return to Forks, but she’s not there yet. If we return before it does, we have no idea what will happen, and I can’t see it because it seems we will cross paths with the wolves. All our futures completely disappear as soon as we cross the town boundary. Edward worries that if we go back and you two are together, it could send her into a fury, and he won’t risk it.”

“I won’t risk  _you_ ,” he clarified, brushing a kiss on my forehead. “And that is why we are staying in Florence for a couple of days.”

“A couple of days?” I tried not to shout the words. “Charlie will have the FBI out looking for me!”

“Silly Bella,” Alice said. “We’ve got Esme on the case. And I wouldn’t bother trying to get him to budge, I’ve done my best and he’s sticking to his decision.” She tapped the side of her head. “It’ll all work out for the best.”

She went out to pump gas, and I turned to Edward, ready to argue with him despite Alice’s warning, but he distracted me with a long, soft kiss. Every time I tried to pull away to speak, his lips followed mine. Finally, I gave up and relaxed into the movement of his mouth.

“You know that’s cheating,” I said hoarsely when we finished.

“I never claimed to be honorable,” he replied, smirking. “Look at the way I stole your virtue this afternoon.”

I swatted at his chest. “You didn’t steal it. It was freely given.” I kissed him again, one sweep of my lips over his.

“I’m glad to hear it.” He wore that expression again, all honeyed reverence and gentle joy. “Time to be on the move.”

We climbed back into the Audi, and Edward maneuvered us back into the position we’d been in before, with my legs draped over him. The smooth noise of the engine and the gentle movements Edward made as he stroked my back lulled me to sleep. It was like I blinked; one moment we were driving across a landscape full of olive and cypress trees, and the next we were on a narrow street lined with stone buildings.

“Welcome back, sleepyhead,” Edward murmured into the skin of my neck. “We’re at the hotel.”

“Uh,” I moaned groggily. “Do I have to move?”

“I can carry you, if you’d like,” he purred.

“No, no. I’m fine. I can walk.” I crawled off of him, pushed the door open and nearly landed gracelessly face-first on the sidewalk.

Florence was just as overcast as it had been at the rest stop, which I was thankful for. If the weather remained like this, we could freely explore the city in daylight. Besides, it wasn’t cold – there was a hint of a chill that told me the day was drawing to close, but compared to Forks it was almost tropical.

Alice had already gone inside to check us in, and Edward retrieved our bags from the trunk, refusing my insistent plea that I carry my own.

The hotel looked exactly like I expected one in Italy too, with a lot of marble and warm colors. Our room was right down the corridor from the reception, on the ground floor, and I gasped when Alice unlocked the door.

The room was huge, with a high, vaulted ceiling, and two four-poster beds stood against one wall, the metal frames topped in white canopies. Around the beds was enough space to fit my bedroom in at home, the floor elegantly tiled in terracotta and overlaid with floral rugs. To my left stood a dark-wooded wardrobe, elaborately carved, and beyond that was a door that I presumed led into the bathroom.

It wasn’t luxurious, but it was grand.

Edward had to gently push me forward as I gaped around me, and Alice laughed at me.

“Did you think we’d be staying in a poky little place?” she asked. “When you travel as a Cullen, you travel in style.”

I noticed her choice of words – as a Cullen, not with a Cullen, and Edward stroked his thumb across the ring finger of my left hand.

“It’s certainly got style,” I agreed.

“Well, I’m going to make use of our proximity to all the shops to do what I do best.” She waved her purse at us as she flitted out of the room. “Couturiers of Florence, here I come!”

Edward and I laughed at her exit, then I groaned. “She’s going to buy me loads of clothes that I won’t want to wear, isn’t she?”

“Oh I hope so,” he said silkily. “I hope she’s going to at least visit one lingerie boutique.” I colored, and he laughed huskily.

I extracted myself from his hold, to try to mask my embarrassment, and set about unpacking the few belongings I’d brought, taking my toiletries into the bathroom, Edward following me. That, again, made me stop and stare at the splendor of the creamy wall-to-wall marble, and the giant mirror across one wall. The shower, rather than being a cubicle, took up a full corner of the room and was separated only by a ditch in the tiles, to stop the water overflowing out.

Seeing the bathroom made other needs surface. “Edward?” I started.

“Human moment?” he finished for me. I nodded, and he tightened his hold on me, hands sliding down my back and firmly massaging my butt. He seemed to have a preoccupation with that part of my body. “I’ll miss you,” he whispered, and kissed a trail down from the crown of my head to the tip of my nose, before brushing his lips across mine.

“You’re only going to be in the other room,” I pointed out, although truthfully, even that felt too far.

“I know,” he sighed, exactly as if I’d told him I would be on the other side of the planet instead.

After another minute of butterfly kisses and butt massaging, he tore himself away. I locked the door behind him and leaned back against it, staring at myself in the mirror.

I looked exactly the same. Doing the deed hadn’t wrought some great physical change on my body. There was no flashing sign above my head saying ‘She’s a woman now!’

But there  _was_  something different. It took a long moment to realize that it was because I was smiling. For months, the creature I’d seen in the mirror had been hollow-eyed and lifeless – maybe I’d smiled around Jacob, but it had been fleeting. Now, although I was damping the smile down so my face didn’t crack, I looked  _happy_.

I shook myself and stripped off my clothes, turning the water on and letting it heat up as I brushed my teeth. I was looking forward to getting under the water: aches and pains I hadn’t noticed were there while I was in Edward’s arms were now making their presence known.

The water was glorious, and all the knots in my back relaxed one by one. I shampooed my hair twice, then slumped against the cool tile as I let the conditioner sink and work its magic. My eyes drifted shut, just for a moment, as I imagined I could feel the sunshine on my face, just as I had when we were in the courtyard.

A cool finger slid across my belly, from hip to hip, and the contrast to the warmth of the water made me shriek and jump. The movement made one foot slide from underneath me on the slick tile, and my whole body slid with it.

I’d have been on my butt, if it wasn’t for Edward’s hands firmly on my hips, keeping me upright. A warm, electric buzz spread over my skin, moving outwards from where he held me.

“I told you I had hold of you,” he murmured, his voice so low it turned my spine into a molten thing. He had to be using that sultry tone of voice on purpose.

His wet hair was the darkest shade of bronze, too rich in color to look anything as ordinary as brown, and his skin put the marble around us to shame. I stood like an idiot, lost in his eyes. They were still the blackest black – when had he last hunted? – but a shadow lay across them, and I knew now what that was. Desire.

It took two attempts for me to find my voice.

“I thought I locked the bathroom door.”

“You did,” he acknowledged, bending his neck to press a kiss to my throat. I had no sensible reply. “You were too far away.” He looked up at me from beneath his eyelashes, a hint of a pout accompanying the sulkiness of his proclamation. It should have made him look like an angelic little boy, but with that shadow in his eyes, it was impossible. He was far too tempting.

I knew that I was tempting him too. Even if he hadn’t picked the lock to come to me, I could feel how much he wanted me pressing into my hip.

“Are you sore?” he asked, as his fingers stroked the skin at my waist. I shook my head. I might have been, but the only part of my body I could currently feel were the scant inches where we had skin-to-skin contact. All my other nerves had burnt to useless cinders.

I thought he was going to kiss me, but instead he dropped his knees before me, so his head was now level with my breasts. He took a deep breath and nuzzled at the skin between them, while his fingers kept tracing soft circles lower down. I reached out to grip onto his shoulders, because my own meager sense of balance had deserted me.

“Have you washed yet?” he asked softly, and I shook my head mutely again. “Then I’ll do it.” He reached for the shower gel, squeezed some into his palm, and lathered it up. I watched, fascinated by the movement of his graceful hands.

The water had warmed his skin, so the goose bumps that broke out over my own were not from cold. He worked his hands over me, sweeping them over my backs, arms and belly. Apparently, he thought my breasts were very dirty, because he spent a long time softly massaging them. Occasionally, his fingers would trail to the peak and gently circle around, eliciting near-silent gasps from me.

With one hand still cupping me, he slid the other lower, trailing just his fingertips across my skin and causing me to shiver. When he reached the apex of my legs, he slid one hand between my thighs, moving my legs until my feet were shoulder-width apart. I thought he was going to move to where I wanted his touch the most, but instead he squeezed more body wash into his hands, and went about washing my legs from the feet up. I panted as he moved.

My inner thighs were as apparently dirty as my breasts, but his touches on them were feather-light passes that curled my toes. He moved his nose so it brushed against the skin at the juncture of my thighs, and inhaled deeply.

“You smell so sweet,” he whispered. “I want so much to put my mouth on you.”

I replied with a garbled moan.

“But I can’t do that while you’re human. It’s too dangerous.” He swallowed back the venom, as if to prove the point. “I’ll promise you one thing, though. If – when – you are changed, I will dedicate weeks to doing nothing but that.”

My response was lost in a gasp, because he chose that moment to push two fingers inside me. It was all I could do not to sway and fall as his fingers moved, twisting and curling until he found a rhythm, stroking the places that made me moan the most.

I gave up on trying to hold myself up, and slid down the tile until I was on my knees, his fingers still within me. It only took a few more curls and I came undone, slumping forwards against his torso and shaking.

“I’ll never get tired of that,” he said after a moment, as he brought both arms up to wrap around me. I panted into his shoulder, words failing me again. There was a wet, sucking sound by my ear, and when I peeked, he was licking his fingers clean.

I felt like I should have been grossed out, but the pleasure he wore so openly made that impossible. Any way that I could make Edward happy, I would.

He was still waiting for his own gratification, and I reached out hesitantly, to grasp him. He was hard in my palm, but the skin was soft. Unlike the rest of Edward’s un-pliant flesh, there was some give when I squeezed lightly, which made him grunt. I hoped it was in pleasure. I had no idea what I was doing, but I experimentally tightened my grip and moved my fist, copying the crude gesture people made when they spoke about doing this.

“Bella,” Edward groaned, and I was pleased that I could make him feel that way. “I want to be inside you…if that’s okay.”

He was suddenly hesitant, and I made eye contact, letting it show in my face just how okay it was. This was so unlike last time, slow and measured, but it meant the old Edward had returned – the one who was so frightened of hurting me.

“It’s more than okay. You have no idea how much I want this,” I assured him, planting a gentle kiss on his lips.

“Actually, love, I can smell it,” he teased, and it was so unexpected that I blushed hard and deep, the blood pooling not just in my face but across my chest. “Oh, that is lovely,” he said, his voice deepening to a near-growl, and he inhaled.

He brought me to my knees again, so I was above him, mirroring that first time, his hands on my hips and our gazes locked. I shifted, so he slid along me, until he was at my entrance. One movement from either of us would bring us together.

Abruptly, he swore under this breath, and lifted me away from him. “Alice is back.”

I moaned like a child deprived of candy, keeping my grip on his shoulders, trying to pull him back to me.

“Bella, she’ll be able to hear  _everything_ ,” he reminded me.

That was as good as flipping the water to cold. Suddenly, I wanted very much to be dressed, away from Alice Cullen and her freaky powers. Actually, I wanted her to be gone, but I didn’t doubt that she had a bushel of shopping goodies to torture me with.

Edward helped me stand as my legs were still shaky, and I finally rinsed the conditioner out.

“What are going to do about – ” I gestured vaguely at his naked body.

“I’ll take care of it. You go get dressed.”

“Oh. OH.” The blush I’d only just got rid of reappeared, and Edward growled at me playfully as the scent swirled around him in the steam. He meant he was going to…

Well I’d never before thought of Edward doing  _that_ , but now I couldn’t get the mental image out of my head. I wanted very much to stay and help him, or at least watch, but Alice’s presence in the room outside beckoned. I could hear her crashing around outside, opening drawers and slamming them, and it had to be for dramatic effect because she was perfectly capable of moving silently.

I sighed and wrapped up in two towels – one for my hair, one for my body – and pouted at Edward one last time as I ventured out of the warm cocoon of the steam.

The bedroom was chilly in comparison, and I gripped the towel harder, for all the good it would do. I knew that parts of my body were reacting to the cold, because Alice raised an eyebrow at me. “I’m concentrating very hard, because you know Edward’s rifling through my thoughts right now, and the picture might help him along.”

Of course she would realize what Edward was doing in the bathroom. I heard a grunt and a string of profanities issue from within.

“He likes it when you blush too, you know. He likes it, likes it.”

I couldn’t have been more mortified if I tried, so I decided to ignore her and get dressed. These situations were always less embarrassing with clothes on. “Turn around, Alice.”

She beamed at me. “Are you sure you don’t want to grace your fiancé with that image?” I gave her my best steely glare in response. “Don’t worry, he’s already finished. I think it was the combination of the blush and the headlamps on full beam that did it.” She pointed between my hard nipples.

“Alice – ”

“I’m sorry, I’ll behave. I can’t wait until Jasper gets around Edward and feels how keyed up he is, I’ll be getting all the benefit! Sorry, sorry – but I have gifts!”

She picked up a glossy bag with an Italian name embossed on the side. “Here, put these on. Don’t worry; he hasn’t seen them in my head.”

‘They’ were a matching bra and panties set, in a rich, deep blue satin. There didn’t seem to be enough fabric to them. “Alice, there is no way I’m wearing these.”

“Bella,  _trust me_. He loves that color against your skin.” She sighed. “This would be so much easier if you could see inside my head like he can. Believe me, when he sees you in it later, you  _will_  be thanking me. In fact, so will he. He’s going to buy me a Porsche!”

Okay, now I was intrigued, although I still wasn’t entirely convinced. I gestured for her to turnaround and face the wall – I might have had sex, but I wasn’t ready to flaunt my bits at the world. Alice pulled a face, and traipsed into the bathroom with another bag.

The panties were barely there, but at least they weren’t a thong. They covered everything I wanted covered, and tied into a bow at one side. The bra pulled everything in and pushed it up, creating oomph I didn’t know was possible, but despite all that, the set was surprisingly comfortable.

“I don’t suppose you’d agree to wear these?” Alice was back, holding out a pair of black stockings and two blue circles of fabric that matched my underwear. “It’s all silk, so it will feel incredible against your skin, and these are just to hold them up – but they will drive Edward  _wild_.” She stage-whispered the last, and pushed the circlets into my hands. I flushed as I realized they were garters.

I decided to try them on and if I wasn’t convinced, they would come straight off. Alice had to help me pull the hose on and fasten the garters, and it was curiously intimate as her cold fingers brushed on my thighs. I speculated how much fun could be had with Edward in taking them off.

“What’s he doing?” I whispered to Alice, wondering what was taking so long in the bathroom.

“He’s getting dressed. I told him to stay put until I say he can come out.”

“He agreed to that?” I asked dubiously.

“He’s learning that it pays to trust me,” she smirked. “Now, last but not least – ” She pulled a dress from within the embossed bag; a long sweep of a black, slinky fabric.

“I wanted something in the same color as your lingerie, but I couldn’t find anything suitable. I also wanted to get you satin, but then I thought I was best getting you something you’d feel comfortable in. It’s a silk-cotton jersey, so it will feel divine on your skin.”

I took the dress from her, and the cloth was soft beneath my fingers. She was right; the dress was simple, almost like a long t-shirt. I pulled it over my head, and it stroked across my skin as it slid down, falling to just above my knees. The fabric draped along my frame, so it didn’t swamp me, and the neckline was square, showing off all the extra ‘oomph’ that the bra had provided.

“Bravo!” Alice said, assessing the dress on me, then she threw a pair of black ballet pumps at me. I missed catching one and it hit the wardrobe. “I’ve outdone myself, even if I do say so.”

I hugged her. “Thanks Alice, for restraining yourself. I do feel comfortable in this.”

She smiled. “I’m not done yet.”

The next ten minutes whirled by as she plunked me into a chair and fixed my hair and makeup, apparently heeding my requests to keep it minimal. My hair was left loose, and she’d kept the makeup simple at eyeshadow, mascara and lipgloss. “You don’t need much anyway, but this is just to enhance.”

“She doesn’t need anything, Alice,” Edward called from the bathroom.

She leaned in conspiratorially. “I think he wants to get out of there.” He growled again, and came stomping out.

“Alice, what’s taking so long – ” He stopped dead, and the look on his face as he appraised me made me redden all over.

“My work here is done,” she said, laughing. He ignored her, and pulled me to him, kissing me long and deep and with plenty of tongue.

He pulled away when I ran out of air, and even though he spoke to Alice, he didn’t tear his eyes away from me. “She’s perfect, Alice. Thank you.” He ran one finger down the side of my neck, to my collarbone, and along the length of that, while I trembled against him.

“So long as you don’t try to thank me with a kiss, I’m happy,” she replied.

His eyes flicked to her, then he took a step back. “I’ll think of some other way of thanking you. All my kisses are reserved for Bella.” Parts of me wanted to thank Alice for putting him in this mood, and parts of me wanted to throttle her for interrupting us in the shower. Being in proximity to him again made me ache all over for the chance to touch him, to be skin to skin.

“So, I’m going to go explore the countryside outside of Florence,” Alice said. “It’s been a few weeks since I hunted, and it will give you a chance to reconnect without me interfering. I’ll be back – ” she paused, obviously consulting her future, “the day after tomorrow. Ciao!”

I waved vaguely in her direction as she left, but I didn’t look away from Edward. In the middle of her little speech, I’d realized what he was wearing, and I was trying very hard not to forget to breathe.

While Alice had been out buying my dress, she’d obviously picked up a suit for him. I knew nothing about fashion, but even I could see the obvious quality in it. The cloth was a charcoal-grey, not quite a black like my dress, and it made the onyx pools of his eyes even more vivid. His hair, vibrant copper, stood out as the only real color on him, and although the rest of him was flawlessly groomed, it stood in perfect disarray, as it always did.

“Bella?”

“Mmm?”

“Bella, you look absolutely exquisite.”

“Mmm.” I wasn’t listening to his words, but watching the shapes his mouth made as he spoke, remembering it moving over my skin.

“Bella?”

“Mmm?”

His smile deepened, to wide satisfaction. The pace of my pulse rocketed in response. “I think you’re dazzled.” He leaned down to brush a kiss against my mouth, and I licked my lips, moaning at the taste of him on my tongue. It did bring me out of my reverie though, and I grinned sheepishly at him.

“So, I still dazzle you?” He really did look proud of himself.

“Always.”

He kissed me again gently, our eyes open, and I regarded how dark his irises were. I smoothed a finger along the shadow under one eye. “You need to feed.”

“I will. Soon. When I can bear to tear myself away from you. Besides, I don’t think they’ll have my favorite here in Italy.” His hands roamed down my back and stopped just short of my butt.

“No mountain lions?”

He shook his head. “Although, while we’re here, we should make sure that you get to try as much food as possible.”

I nuzzled into his chest. “I don’t want to leave this room.”

He sighed. “Neither do I. But the sooner we leave, the sooner we can come back.”

I tilted my head to look up at him. “Okay. But I’m not having too much to eat. A main course and dessert, at the most.”

I should have made him promise on that, because of course he wanted me to try nearly everything on the menu. I guess these were all ‘human experiences’ that he didn’t want me to miss out on.

The restaurant was on the edge of one of the central Piazzas, and we were sat in the alcove beside a window, looking out at a fountain in the distance that seemed deep enough for me to wade in. It made me think of the one I’d run through in Volterra – so much had changed in less than half a day.

I got the impression that the restaurant was very exclusive, and very expensive. Edward must have reserved the table at the same time he booked the hotel room, and paid exorbitantly for it. Despite being at the front of the restaurant, the table was isolated from other diners, giving us the same sense of being in a private bubble as we’d had in the back of the Audi. Rather than sitting across from me, Edward chose the chair next to me.

He didn’t ask what I wanted to eat, but when the waiter came for our order he rolled off a list of items in perfect Italian – and I even saw them consulting over the wine list. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he grinned back as the waiter walked away.

“You’re old enough to drink in Italy, Bella,” he told me, as he gently squeezed me knee under the table. The squeeze sent chills to other parts of me that I wished Edward was touching, and he stroked small circles over the silk. I was glad to be wearing the stockings – if he had been caressing bare skin, I’d have straddled him here and now, even in front of the other diners.

I caught a glimpse of us reflected in the windowpane, our faces close together and with a golden cast to them from the candlelight. For the first time ever, I truly felt like we belonged together. Sure, Edward was still light-years ahead of me in terms of beauty, but there was a symmetry between us that made sense. We were both pale and dark-eyed in the colorless wash of the glass, and wore a mirrored expression of love. I knew, for the first time, that Edward really, truly loved me as deeply as he said he did, and I accepted that.

Everything that happened after my birthday was water under the bridge. It didn’t matter anymore. We were together again, and that was all I cared about.

“What are you thinking about?” He breathed the words in my ear, snapping me out of my silent trance.

“Us. What else?” We smiled at each other, expressions soft, and he held my hands between his.

The waiter returned, placing a bowl of soup in front of me, and what looked like miniature ravioli before Edward.

“Edward, why have you ordered food for yourself?” I asked, genuinely perplexed.

“It’s not for me.” He smiled, spearing pasta onto his fork, and raising it to my lips. “It’s for you.”

I bit down, and the creamy taste of ricotta spread over my tongue, contrasting with the tang of the tomato sauce.

A suspicion occurred to me. “Did you order two of each course?”

He shrugged. “You don’t have to eat all of it, just sample what I ordered.”

We were interrupted by the waiter bearing a bottle of wine and two glasses. There was a quick exchange between he and Edward, and I was presented with a glass full of golden liquid.

“I hear it’s very good,” he told me, tapping his head to show me how he had heard, and moving the glass towards me encouragingly. He had his own glass, which twirled the stem of between his fingers, and the waiter had left the rest of the bottle in an ice bucket beside the table.

“Edward, I can’t drink the whole bottle. I won’t be able to walk back to the hotel!”

He smiled. “I’ll carry you.” He went back to tracing circles on the back of my hand. “These are all things I want you to try, while you still can.” His voice had softened, stroking down my skin like the silk around my legs, and smoothing away my indignation.

I bit back a sigh. “Okay, I’ll try everything.” I didn’t want to ruin the mood between us.

Edward fed me as course after course arrived. I had tiger prawn ravioli in a lobster sauce, while he had ordered tagliatelle with “a ragout of duck in red wine, cream and prosciutto”. I wasn’t sure what most of that meant, but it melted on my tongue. On the side there was bruschetta to dunk into the sauces.

The waiter didn’t complain that the plates he removed were often more than half-full. I stuck to the one glass of wine, although it seemed to last forever, and I suspected that Edward was topping it up when I wasn’t looking. I wasn’t sure if I liked the taste when I took my first sip, since I’d never had wine before, but halfway down the glass I’d definitely begun to appreciate it. It cleansed my palette between bites of the myriad flavors Edward offered to me.

I knew dessert was on its way, and I excused myself to visit the bathroom. It was tiled extravagantly in black marble, and lit softly, so when I looked in the mirror I had the same glow around me as I had seen reflected in the window. Maybe it was just my mood.

As I made my way back, I passed the waiter, who smiled warmly at me. Edward had my hand in his before I even sat down, and pulled my in close, tucking me in under his arm and wrapping it around my shoulders. “The waiter was thinking of how in love we looked,” he murmured into my ear.

“Well, we are,” I replied, gazing at us in the window again.

“True.” He kissed my hair. “So, do you want to explain to me about cliff-diving?”

I stiffened and tried to pull out from under his arm, but it was futile attempt. I had to settle for taking a gulp of wine.

“Bella, you promised me that you wouldn’t do anything reckless.”

I sighed. I really, really wanted to hit back at him, to mention all the promises  _he’d_  broken when he went away, but that would take the mood of the evening far from where I wanted it to be.

“It was a way I could feel connected to you, even when you weren’t there,” I confessed.

He pulled away enough to look down at my face. “That makes no sense.”

“I know.” I shook my head and tried to collect my thoughts. “While you were…gone…sometimes I could hear you. It was when my adrenaline was high – if I was in some kind of danger – and you’d talk to me. If I was about to do something reckless, you’d ask me not to do it – but then, if I  _didn’t_  do it, you went away.”

He thought for a long moment, brow furrowed, then stroked a finger across my lips. “So you genuinely weren’t trying to kill yourself.”

“No, not at all! I told Alice, it was all a big misunderstanding.”

He frowned. “Well, I  _will_  be with you from now on, so there won’t be any need for you to do dangerous things to hear me. For instance, spending time with werewolves.” All trace of amusement had left his voice, and it dripped with something I couldn’t quite identify.

A pinprick of anger flared inside me. “Edward, you can’t tell me who I can and can’t hang out with. The wolves are my friends – and besides, they were protecting me from Victoria.”

His eyes flashed. “Victoria?”

“Yes, like Alice said in Volterra, she thinks the wolves will have it all sorted out before we get back to Forks.”

“Victoria is in Forks.” He was horror-struck, every part of him still. “I thought Alice meant she returned while you were here in Italy.”

“No. She came back to get revenge over James.” And I told him the whole story about the months he wasn’t there over a double dessert – tiramisu, and raspberry panna cotta, which I did  _not_  eat all of – and I was glad I had the food to concentrate on. If I’d had to tell him about those months without the distraction, I would have been in tears several times over.

Then he confessed what he had been doing while he was away from me, which included an attempt to track Victoria himself, and that horrified me. By the time we’d both finished, I felt a shift between us. The air was clear. We could move into our future, with no secrets or guarded memories dividing us.

“I think you should finish your wine,” he said finally.

“I think I’ve had plenty,” I replied. “I don’t want to be drunk tonight.”

His expression darkened, and he pushed the glass away from me. “Perhaps you’re right.”

All of a sudden we were on fast forward, out of the restaurant with the bill paid and rushing back to the hotel, me practically trotting to keep up with him. He had one arm around my waist to keep me moving forwards, and I think if the streets hadn’t been so busy, he really would have carried me back to the hotel. Anticipation flashed through my body, leaving me trembling.

Edward didn’t even stop to say good evening in the reception, but marched us right past to the desk and down the hallway to our room.

Once the door was open, he began moving as quickly as he was capable, leaving the lights in the room off, the only illumination coming through the window. He slammed the door shut and pressed me up against it in one movement, his mouth attacking mine and his hands sliding up the backs of my thighs, under my skirt.

“ _Fuck_ , Bella,” he said as his fingers grazed along the garters. “You’re wearing stockings?”

I gulped and nodded, the unexpected curse shooting desire along my nerves. He took me by the hand and spun us to the other side of the room, so we were stood at the foot of one of the beds, and his lips went to my neck, kissing and licking and sucking down to my collarbone, leaving a trail of cold fire behind.

“Please, please, please…” I chanted, as I slid one hand to the back of his neck. He responded by cupping my butt, under the dress this time, his hand firmly kneading the skin before sweeping round to grip my hips.

“What has Alice got you wearing?” he asked huskily. I took the chance to step away from him and pull the dress from my body, throwing it in the direction of a chair.

I could see myself in the mirror across the room: pale skin, enhanced by blue satin, my legs encased in black and my hair spilling around my shoulders. It was another first: I didn’t just feel beautiful, I felt desirable.  _Sexy_.

It was reflected in Edward’s expression as he stalked towards me with a storm in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, cockblocked twice.
> 
> Oh, and I based the hotel room on one I stayed in when I went on a college trip when I was eighteen – me and the girl I shared with were the luckiest sods, we got allotted that room by chance and everyone else’s was much smaller. Mwahaha! You can ogle it [here](http://www.hotelaprile.it/image_zoom.php?show=MWJhODE1ZDAyMjk2YmUwMzdlNTA2OGVlYjYxYTc2ZGEuanBnP3dpZHRoPSI2MDAiIGhlaWdodD0iNDUwIg==).


	3. Firenze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By ‘eck, it’s hard writing about springtime in Florence when it’s brass monkeys weather here in Merry Olde England. The snow’s shin-deep, but do I get any snow days from work so I can stay home and write? No chance…
> 
> I know every author says this, but every time I get an email alert to say I’ve got a new review or someone has added the story as a favourite, it makes my black little heart swell with joy. It’s the best motivation I could wish for to continue writing, and thank you all so much – I try to reply to all reviews but if I miss anyone, I’m sorry.
> 
> Someone pointed out that Edward and Bella getting it on so early could bring Reneesme Renessme Renesmee forth a lot sooner than expected. In my story we’re just going with the concept that vampires can’t reproduce, so there will be no babies. Mainly because I can’t spell Renezme Renesmay thingy. It reduces the possibilities for lemons and no-one wants that, do they?
> 
> Thanks to octoberland for Beta reading this chapter – I know I overdo the commas and I promise I’m trying to cut down.
> 
> FYI, Firenze is the Italian name for Florence, but is almost sounds like the word ‘frenzy’, which works with the first part of the chapter…  
> I’ll shut up now.

**FIRENZE**

Edward grabbed me, knocking me backwards onto the bed and landing above me on all fours. I shrieked, but not through fear. His eyes were… _wild_ …but it wasn’t bloodlust ruling Edward, just plain old lust.

His lips attacked my neck, focusing on one spot below my ear; sucking, sucking, sucking. The movement of his mouth seemed to have a direct connection to that spot between my legs; the pressure built up, but I couldn’t shift my thighs together because Edward’s legs were between my knees, keeping me wide open. One of his hands spread over my ribcage, just below my breast, and the other fisted in the sheets beside my head. I bucked my hips, trying to meet his, but he ignored my undulations and gasped pleas.

“Edward…” I whimpered, and he left my neck to stare down at me, his expression dark and primal, the vibrations of his growls passing from his skin to mine. He yanked the satin cup of my bra down, forcing my breast up above it, and when I looked down I was framed by satin, displayed to him. The skin there trembled with the force of my pants, pale but with a hesitant blush spreading outwards. He gave one tentative, flat lick across my nipple, and I shrieked again, wanting so much more contact but pinned to the bed by him. He freed my other breast in the same manner, and reached up to cup me, running his fingers over my sensitive skin and all I could do was tense and beg for more.

One hand swept down my ribs, to the bow of ribbon at my hip. I felt him pull, and the fabric fall open. He pushed it to one side, exposing me to him, and slid his fingers inside me. These were far from the hesitant touches of this afternoon, but oh  _God_  it felt good. I writhed beneath him, feeling that familiar wave rising in me, about to crash down and sweep me away.

Abruptly, his fingers were gone, and I was at the head of the bed, sat upright against a mound of pillows, my back to the headboard. My breasts were still exposed, pushed up and held tight in place by the satin below them, and the panties lay open, draped over one hip. He spread my legs wide and knelt between them, suddenly naked. His skin was very, very white against the dark backdrop of the room, and he looked every inch the mythical god carved from marble.

“Do you want this?” he rumbled, and it was the same question he’d asked me in the courtyard, but the man it came from wasn’t the same at all. If I said no, would he be able to stop himself? But, of course, I wouldn’t say no.

“Please,” I breathed. “Yes please.”

He was in me before I’d finished speaking, and I had a moment of discomfort as he stretched me just like the first time, but I bit my lip and waited it out. He wasn’t hesitant at all, moving so quickly I couldn’t follow it with my eyes, and instead I had to close them, and focused on the sensation of Edward filling me.

I could feel the power in him as he pounded into me, and I understood in that instant why he was always afraid he would hurt me – his movements were just this side of painful as he crashed and withdrew, and he wasn’t using anything like the strength he was capable of. I didn’t know where his hands were, but they weren’t on me. It let me concentrate entirely on the place where we were joined, and the sensations he wrought within me.

The speed of him seemed to move my body on fast-forward, the wave inside me building up and crashing down in seconds, catching me unawares and forcing screams from my throat as I writhed around him. The sounds that ripped from his chest in that moment were, truthfully, frightening. I felt him tense and still, then heard an almighty crack. In the next instant we were airborne, and I buried my face in his chest, keeping it there until the world had stilled around us.

When I dared to open my eyes, it took a long moment to get my bearings, with my breathing still shallow and my heart drumming a furious tattoo in my chest. We were on the floor between the beds, and I was in Edward’s lap, cradled to him. I opened my mouth to ask why we were there then closed it again when the bed beside us caught my eye.

One of the posts that was supposed to hold the canopy up was a splintered ruin, and the magnificent canopy itself was spread half across the bed, and half across the floor, the whole edifice hanging at a dangerous angle.

“You did that?” I asked when I could. My voice was hoarse, presumably from screaming. Edward nodded, his jaw tight.

“You could have been injured,” came his bleak response.

Oh no. I could see where this was headed.

His hands moved over me, not sensually this time but clearly checking for injuries.

“Edward, I’m okay. You got me out of the way in time.”

He wouldn’t meet my eyes, and shook his head. “It was  _because_  of me. I was being so rough, it was just a matter of luck that it was the bed and not you – ”

I lifted a hand to his jaw, and used all my strength to make him face me. Even that only worked because he complied. I took a deep, centering breath, and prayed my blush would keep away.

“Edward, I liked it. I liked that you were – like that.” I’d almost said “rough” but my courage failed me at the last moment.

I was telling the truth – it was so different to the first time, which had been an expression of desperation and love, but this had been about desperation of a different kind. To make Edward lose control like that was more than I’d ever dared to hope for.

He blinked, astonished. “Do you mean that?” he asked, and this time it was me that couldn’t meet his eyes.

I nodded, and the familiar blush ignored my prayers and invited itself into the conversation. “Couldn’t you tell that I…you know. Enjoyed it.”

His expression softened, all the self-loathing and anguish and feral desire sweeping away and being replaced by the man I’d seen this afternoon, when we lay together in the courtyard.

“Oh, Bella.” He swept my hair behind my shoulder and kissed my forehead, leaving his hand to rest at my throat. “Sweet girl.” His voice held as much reverence as his eyes, and all the tension I’d felt, waiting for him to go running at the near-accident, melted away.

He kissed me, gently this time, and for long, sweet minutes it was just about his lips moving over mine, and soft words spoken from his mouth. Eventually his tongue made an appearance, but even that was less insistent than it had been all day, approaching and retreating with gentle strokes that gave me tingles.

He lifted me and set me down on the unbroken bed, laying me down in the centre and leaving me lost for words as he stood beside me, the clean lines of his body backlit by the street lights.

My bra came off first, with gentle kisses and nibbles place on my breasts and down my ribcage, followed by my panties, slid slowly down the one leg they still covered. That left me in the stockings and garters.

“I wish I could do this with my teeth,” he said as he unclasped one sliver of satin, stroking the skin it uncovered. I gasped, and my belly clenched in anticipation. The stockings seemed to take forever in coming off, since he kissed each new inch of skin that was revealed as he rolled them down, and when they were gone he kissed his way back up my body until he was lying over me, nestled between my legs and resting up on his elbows. His face was inches from mine. This was  _intimate_.

He pushed into me again, and I let out a soft moan which he echoed, our gazes never leaving each other.

He moved slowly this time, so I could feel each individual thrust, every inch of him gliding inside me. I could meet his thrusts for the first time, and after a few false starts we found a rhythm. His hands twined with mine, up by my head. There were no words, but we didn’t need any. This wasn’t about reaching a destination; it was just about being together.

After we were both sated, I lay curled around him, my head in the nook between his shoulder and neck, and my leg splayed over his. He ran his fingers through my hair and hummed softly, our close contact meaning the reverberations passed through me. That had possibilities…for another time.

“That was how our first time should have been,” Edward interrupted my thoughts. He lifted my left hand from his stomach and kissed the ring finger. “Except we’d be married.”

I gripped his hand in mine. “No, Edward, our first time should have been exactly what it was,” I replied firmly. “I wouldn’t change a thing. Tonight was wonderful, but what happened this afternoon was special. I don’t know a single girl who could say their first time was as unique as mine – as  _ours_  was. We didn’t have a chance to get nervous, or build it up to this big thing in our heads. It just happened, and we lived in the moment, and  _felt_.”

“You might be right,” he replied after a moment, kissing the pads of my fingers one by one.

“I know I’m right,” I said, trying to swallow a yawn.

“Did I wear you out?” he teased, and I swatted at his chest. “I don’t know whether to kill Alice or kiss her – well, get Jasper to kiss her – for dressing you up tonight. She knew exactly what the sight of you in blue satin would do to me. The color of it against you skin was enough to drive me out of my mind.”

“You’re going to buy her a Porsche to say thanks.” This time the yawn escaped.

“Sleep now, my love. I’ve got a lot planned for us tomorrow. It’ll be a long day.” He hummed me to sleep, to dreams full of Edward and I in the sunshine.

 *******

I was woken up by sunlight and something hard pressing insistently into my stomach. I cracked an eye open and whined as sunshine flashed in making me burrow my head into the rock I was apparently sleeping on.

“Time to get up, Bella, love,” a soft voice murmured in my ear, and I stiffened. My less-than-comfortable mattress suddenly made sense, along with the mouthwatering smell enveloping me, and the soreness between my legs.

Pieces of yesterday flickered through my head, and a light blush set in. I was lying on top of a naked Edward. I was on my front, completely covering him and apparently using him as a giant teddy bear. _That_ was what was poking me in the belly.

I sheepishly relaxed my grasp and rolled off him, my blush deepening as I brushed against  _it_ and he moaned.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, and he chuckled.

“Don’t be. It’s pretty much permanent when you’re around. Although I did enjoy you squirming around as you slept; you clung to me like a limpet.”

I peeked at him and his smile was teasing, but underneath it was the relaxed, joyful Edward that had appeared yesterday. It was nice to know that he hadn’t disappeared overnight, despite our little hiccup.

Speaking of which…the damage to the other bed was even worse in full light. Edward followed my eye-line and grimaced. “I’ll pay for them to buy a new bed.”

I nodded then buried my face into the nearest pillow. “Why am I awake again?”

He trailed his fingers down my back, and I shivered at his touch. “Because the breakfast buffet is only open for another hour, and you need to eat.”

The mention of food made that, and other human needs, come rushing to the forefront of my mind, and I couldn’t ignore them when they made their presence known. “Alright, I’ll get up,” I grumbled. I almost sat up then realized that I wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing; my undergarments from last night were pooled beside the bed in a puddle of blue and black. There was no way I was walking to the bathroom in my birthday suit, even if it was all of six feet away.

Edward obviously sensed my deliberations and rolled his eyes at me. “I’ve seen all of you already. Why are you balking now?”

“Because it’s…different,” I said, and it didn’t even make sense to me, but it  _was_.

He gave me an indulgent smile and leaned in to press a kiss to my cheek. “Alright. But just so you know, you are my favorite thing to look at in the whole world. I’m going to have you naked as often as I can manage it.”

He climbed out of the bed, and the robe he retrieved was as red as my cheeks. Evidently, he had no problem walking around as nature intended, because he handed it to me rather than putting it on himself.

Edward standing proudly naked in the morning had me gaping, especially as my gaze came to rest on…lower things. I had a tumble of memories and future ideas of exactly what I wanted to do with him, but I crushed them all down. It was easy to act on them in the night, much less so in bright daylight. Apparently, my cowardice was afraid of the dark and departed with the sunset, but crept back in with the dawn.

I donned the robe and crept to the bathroom. The lock was busted from Edward breaking in last night, and I turned to look at him archly.

“I’ll pay for that, too,” he said, grinning.

“You stay out this time,” I said. “I mean it.”

He waited until I’d got all my more embarrassing tasks out of the way and I was in the shower again. I was expecting him this time, so I didn’t scold him when he appeared before me.

“Miss me?” he asked, pulling me into his chest tightly.

“Mmm.”

He was excited again, but I took him at this word and ignored it. I was sore all over, having worked muscles yesterday I didn’t know I had, and followed that up by sleeping on a rock. We washed each other, and when it came to my tender parts, he used a warm washcloth to wipe away the remnants of last night. It soothed the aches, and the whole shower made me feel more human.

The sunlight wouldn’t last beyond breakfast, he informed me, and I dressed simply in jeans and a t-shirt. He was very interested in my choice of underwear, even though I was embarrassed by it – I had chosen a simple white cotton set, because I had little else, but he assured me that he wanted to see me in it. I got changed in the bathroom, with him on the outside, to prevent a repeat of last night.

Breakfast was a simple affair, with a mixture of pastries and cereals laid out as a buffet, and I picked at it, having eaten so much last night. The breakfast room opened onto an inner courtyard, with French doors letting the light stream in. That confined Edward to the bedroom until the cloud cover rolled in. I suspected he was taking care of ‘things’ in my absence. I ate alone, at a table that looked out onto the mossy flagstones, and daydreamed of a different courtyard.

When I returned to our room, he was dressed, his outfit matching mine for casualness, although he looked like he’d stepped out of a commercial for designer jeans. His t-shirt clung to the planes of his torso, and I ached to run my hands under the fabric.

“We’ve got ten minutes before we can leave,” he told me as I pushed the door closed, and I walked over to sit next to him at the end of the bed. “Alice gave me a detailed weather forecast before she left us.”

“So, what do you have planned for us today?”

“Sightseeing,” he replied, smiling broadly. “I’ve not been to Florence for a few decades, so I’m interested to see if it’s changed much, and there are a few things I want to share with you…” He rambled on about our itinerary, and I barely listened. All I focus on was the line made by our touching thighs, and the way his fingers were linked with mine. To be this close to Edward again was wonderful, and every nerve in my body sang its happiness. Would this wane? Once we were back in Forks, and back to our routine, would I grow used to being close to him? Had I  _ever_  grown used to being around Edward?

“What are you thinking?” he asked, and I smirked. That was something I’d have to get used to again – his constant pestering about my thoughts.

“I was wondering if it’ll always feel like this,” I admitted. He looked down to our entwined fingers.

“You know that you talk in you sleep, and I love hearing it, because it means you can’t censor what I get to hear?” I nodded, indicating he should continue. There was little I could be embarrassed about him hearing during my somniloquism anymore. “Last night, you couldn’t get close enough to me – I wasn’t joking when I said you were like a limpet. But you kept murmuring.”

His crestfallen expression made me nervous. What had I said?

“You kept whimpering: ‘Don’t leave me. Don’t go, Edward’.” He looked at me full on, eyes blazing and intense. “You know I’m not going to leave you again, don’t you? I’m not going anywhere.”

“I do,” I replied, nodding fervently. “I really do.”

His whole body relaxed, and he pulled me into him, halfway onto his lap, so he could kiss me: softly at first, but growing in urgency. He pulled away before I was ready for him to. “Come on, love. We should go.”

I didn’t understand the curious expression of the receptionist as we passed through on our way outside, until we were on the street and Edward bent to whisper in my ear. “They heard us last night. When you were screaming, they thought that maybe I was killing you.”

I looked up at him to check if he was serious, and apparently he thought it was funnier than I did, because I was beyond mortified. No wonder my throat was still sore this morning. I hadn’t been able to control the sounds I was making, but to know that we’d been overheard made me want to beg Edward to go get our bags and check us in somewhere else. Eventually, he would have to explain to them about the broken bed and bathroom lock, and I had no idea how we would do that. Probably with lots and lots of Euros.

We walked through crooked streets lined with beautiful buildings, and passed through elegant  _Piazzas_. Every structure was a wonder in its own right, and the amount of work that had gone into minor details like drains and doorways was astounding. There were dozens of fountains and equal number of grand  _palazzos_ , fighting it out with each other to dominate the streets they stood on. Even where stone was crumbling, it added to the sense of grandeur. The weather was warm again, despite the clouds, and Edward held my hand all the way.

Our first stop was  _il Duomo_ , the cathedral, where we spent an hour or more taking in the scale of the place, and the paintings on the inside of the dome itself. We climbed up dozens of spiral staircases, Edward carrying me when I started to flag, running up them when he could sense that there was no-one else around. At the very top of the dome, we stood and looked out of over the panorama of Florence, a tapestry of red roofs and ragged streets below us.

Edward had to carry me all the way back down, and I was glad when we got out of the narrow confines of the stairways and into the open air again. Our next stop was the  _Palazzo Vecchio_ , which was once the home of the Medicis, the family that ruled Florence for centuries.

I’d been right, though, when I thought Edward would distract me. The whole morning, my attention was on him – the way his muscles and tendons moved when he shifted even a fraction of an inch, the way his hair flashed like strands of copper whenever light hit it, the familiar way electricity crackled between us when we touched. It became harder and harder to take notice of the wonders we passed by.

Lunchtime found us at a small cafe, and Edward ordered me a panini and hot chocolate. It wasn’t really hot chocolate weather but I suspected this was another thing he wanted me to try while I could. The liquid was so viscous you could almost stand a spoon up in it, and it could serve as a meal in itself. He also ordered me a shot of amaretto to go with it, which was a liqueur that tasted like marzipan, and I shuddered as I gulped it down, sweet but a shock to the system.

Afterwards, he bought me an ice-cream from a  _gelateria_ : a chocolate-dipped cone with three different types of  _gelato_  scooped on. It ruined all other ice-cream for me: the texture was smooth, the taste was phenomenal, and I moaned in pleasure with every lick I took. I knew from the dark glances he kept throwing my way that Edward was enjoying my pleasure, and with a jolt I realized exactly what my moans reminded him of. I tried to silence them, but the ice-cream was so good they were difficult to contain.

He led me down an open-air corridor between buildings, where a long line of people snaked between pillars. “That’s the Uffizi,” he said, motioning to the majestic building on our left, imposing in dark stone. “It’s the oldest art gallery in the world; full of work by Botticelli, Michelangelo, Da Vinci – all the great works of the Renaissance masters. I’ve got us tickets for this afternoon, so we won’t have to wait in line.” I smiled in relief – the line was not moving, and it looked people would be standing in it for hours.

Then we were at the end of one of the bridges spanning the River Arno, and a sign to my left told us it was the  _Ponte Vecchio_. It was as wide as any other street, the paving cracked and worn, and on each side was one long saffron-colored building, rising two stories high and enclosing the bridge. From where we stood we could see the straight length of the bridge descending into the typical chaos of Florentine streets on the other side of the river. It also meant I could see over the side of the bridge: other structures jutted out from the main building, hanging at haphazard angles and with little support over the water, so each shop could get a little bit more room.

“It’s called the ‘Old Bridge.’” Edward translated. “It’s stood in one form or other for centuries, and for most of those, it’s been home to Florence’s jewelers.”

Alice’s prediction in Volterra floated back to me. This bridge had been our destination all day, even if Edward had tried to wrap it in a day of sightseeing. He was tense beside me, but he wasn’t fearing what was going to happen. He was anticipating it.

“Do you know what it looks like?” I asked.

He knew what I was talking about. “No, I didn’t see it in Alice’s vision, she was very careful to keep that from me. I don’t know where we’ll find it either, just that it’ll be in one of the shops along here.” The bridge seemed to stretch on forever in front of us, lined with near identical window displays. “I just saw the look on your face when I slid it onto your finger.” His gaze was far away, but the longing in it made me parcel away my own apprehension. This was important to him. For once, I would let Edward buy me a gift without ruining his joy.

I screwed up the napkin that came with the ice-cream, and chucked it into a nearby trashcan. “Shall we?” I said, offering my hand to him.

He bent from the waist, a courtly gesture that should have been ridiculous coming from a man in jeans, but he was able to carry it off with style. He kissed the back of my hand, then straightened and slung his arm around my waist, pulling me to him and leading me into the flow of human traffic.

I’d been expecting that the window displays would be like gazing into Tiffany’s on performance-enhancing drugs, but I was disappointed. Most were piled high with gold – yellow gold, rose gold, green gold – much of it molded into thick chains. In fact, it was quite…garish. Maybe it was just the effect of it all being heaped together, but instead of the dazzling displays I’d expected, where I’d be unable to choose between one piece and another, I found myself unable to find one thing I  _did_  like. It was all very over-the-top, and not my style at all.

Edward’s fingers clasped mine tightly, and when I looked at him, his face reflected my own disappointment. “I’ve not been to Florence for a while, but I’d hoped that that the taste of the jewelers’ would have improved. Apparently not,” he sighed. His tension increased, but I relaxed. I’d thought it would be impossible to find the perfect ring with an abundance of choice, but the lack of desirable pieces made the task much less daunting. Anything I did like would stand out a mile.

“Maybe we should check all of the windows then start looking inside the stores?” I suggested. Edward huffed out a breath.

“That could take all afternoon.”

“It could. But Alice said the ring is on this bridge, and I trust in her.”

He relaxed as well. “So do I.” He kissed my knuckles again, and we kept moving, covering the length of the bridge in half an hour. Some of the displays were more appealing than others, but there was still so little that I liked. There was certainly nothing that caught Edward’s eye, and I was sure he had a very definite idea of what he wanted.

At the other end of the bridge, we stopped to get a soda for me, and I suggested we take a break to do a little souvenir shopping. There were stalls clustered around, overflowing with Florence-themed memorabilia.

“It’s tat,” Edward said, eager to get back to ring-hunting.

“It is, but I’ve never been outside the U.S. before. I want something to mark the occasion.” I picked out some fridge magnets, pens and postcards. The last thing to catch my eye was a blue t-shirt with a white slogan emblazoned on it. Even Edward smirked as he read the words:  _Ciao Bella_.

“I should get an XXL, so I can wear it to bed,” I said as I held it up against me.

Edward whipped it from my hand and replaced it with a Small. “You won’t be wearing it to bed,” he growled into my ear. “The only thing you’ll be wearing to bed from now on is Alice-approved lingerie or nothing at all.” He paid for my selections as I tried to discreetly fan away my all-over flush.

We were back on the bridge before I knew it, staring down its length to our original starting point. “Do you think we’ll have to look in  _every_  store?” I asked.

He groaned. “Maybe it would just be easier to commission my own design at Tiffany’s when we get home…”

I gripped his hand tighter. “Trust in Alice.”

I picked a little shop on our right at random; the display was less obnoxious than some, and the inside of the store was petite and cool. We looked in every single glass case, and Edward even had a brief, rapid conversation in Italian with the woman behind the counter, but we left empty-handed. The next two shops were much the same. There were a couple of pretty rings – solitaire diamonds on gold bands – but nothing that I could picture myself wearing for eternity. Every time one caught my eye, I would look to Edward, but as our gazes met we would simultaneously shake our heads.

Maybe the joy Alice had seen was just down to the fact that we’d picked a ring and could get off this damn bridge.

We left the third shop with low spirits, although Edward seemed to be compensating by getting more physical. I sighed as he scooped my hair into one hand, kissing down my neck as I rested my back against his chest. Despite the cloud cover, the heat was thick, leaving me gently ‘glowing’, as Alice would have put it. His cool flesh was the perfect antidote.

“That thing is ugly,” I murmured after a moment, bobbing my head in the direction of a thick plait of three types of gold. I think it was supposed to be a necklace, but could easily have served as industrial chain. It was nestled between a brooch the size of my fist, and a ring that wasn’t much smaller. Emblazoned above it in the window was the word “ _Antiquariato_ “, which I presumed meant the shop sold antiques, but the age of the pieces did not make them any more desirable.

“If this is what they have on display, how bad to do you think it is inside?” Edward asked.

I turned to smile up at him. “Only one way to find out.”

I led him inside the cramped space, which was stuffier than the others, and had the twin scents of incense and cigar smoke battling it out to inspire nausea. The glass cases rose to the ceiling, crammed with gaudy items, and an old lady sat on a stool in the corner, giving us the evil eye. I wondered how often people came in here just to poke fun at the stock.

Edward offered her a warm smile and she visibly softened, although there was still a tense line across her shoulders, instinctively wary in his presence.

“Look at this,” I whispered, pointing at a carriage clock that was plated in gold an inch thick, with a bulbous design of leaves and vines covering its surface. Edward grimaced, his back safely to the lady.

“Or this – ” he offered, leading to me another case, where a mishmash of chains and brooches lay tangled together, the gold so thick it looks like a nest of snakes ready to come alive.

“How about – ” I turned to a tray of pendants, but was stopped by Edward tugging me into his side.

“How about this,” he breathed into my ear, one tapered finger indicating what he’d found.

It stood out because, unlike the rest of the metal around it, it was silver in hue, although the card below it said that it was, in fact, platinum. The card also gave the date of provenance as circa 1915 – the Edwardian era.

The band was thin and delicate, until it laced around the circular diamond at the front, intricately set with a few tiny stones. Light sparkled from the facets on the stone, sending a trail of glitter across the skin of the hand Edward had pressed against the glass.

It was, of course, perfect.

I was spun, still encased in his arms, so he could have a rapid conversation with the old woman, and in moments the ring was out of the case and in a velvet box. Edward paid by card and I couldn’t help wincing at the number of zeros on the bill. As soon as the box was in his hand, he flashed the woman another melting smile, and proceeded to whip the ring straight out.

“I know I should probably ask you again, on bended knee, somewhere private and memorable. But I can’t wait to see you wear this, love.” He lifted my left hand and kissed each of my fingers, then slid the ring onto the third finger.

It fit, which shouldn’t have surprised me, and I stared at my hand for a long moment. It didn’t seem out of place: in fact, it seemed very right. This ring would be there for eternity. As long as Edward and I existed, I would wear this band of metal.

I looked up at him, and he was wearing that same expression of open exultation as he had when he first proposed.

“I love that you are wearing my ring,” he said huskily. His fingers stroked circles on my lower back. “I love it. It’s…” He debated for a moment, and I waited, holding my breath. “It’s sexy,” he finished finally, and knocked the breath out of me with a brief but passionate kiss. I panted against him after he pulled away. “You have no idea – ” I gazed up at him, and that familiar cloud had descended, darkening his eyes and sending lava pulsing through my veins. He bent to whisper directly into my ear.

“We need to get back to the hotel.  _Now_.”

Edward led me off the bridge and through a maze of twisty streets at breakneck pace, muttering under his breath when we had to stop for traffic, or the crush of people slowed us down. As we passed the line outside the Uffizi, I realized our tickets would probably go to waste. But if I had the choice: Renaissance masters, or Edward? I would choose Edward every time.

As the hotel room door was shut and locked behind me, I expected him to pounce as he had last night, but instead he released my hand and took a step back, while I leaned against the wall and caught my breath. I could see the wheels turning in his head; knew he was planning whatever would come next in exquisite detail.

Despite the way that thought made my heart pound, despite everything we’d done yesterday, I was suddenly shy. It was easy to act on instinct when adrenaline was high. It was easy to act seductive when the lights were low. But in the middle of the afternoon, without the threat of imminent danger, I was self-conscious and awkward. I really didn’t know what I was doing, and although I knew Edward only had the same amount of experience as me, he seemed so confident in his actions.

“Hey.” His hands were suddenly cupping my face, his forehead against mine and his breath whispering over my skin. “What are you thinking that’s making you so pensive?”

I shrugged and looked down. “Nothing. It’s not important.”

He lifted my chin to face him again. “Bella, whatever you’re thinking is  _always_  important to me.”

I tucked my lower lip between my teeth, but he bent to kiss me, sucking softly until my lip was between his. “Please, tell me.”

“It’s not fair when you do that,” I muttered.

“Bella,” he warned, catching my gaze and holding it.

“Fine.” I let out a sigh. “I was just thinking how…comfortable you are with all of this. You seem to know what you’re doing, which I guess is down to ninety years of listening to people’s thoughts, and you have absolutely no problem with any of it. But I’m not quite so easy with it all. I’m worried that maybe I’ll do something wrong, or something you won’t like, and I’m nervous about being naked in front of you again. I’m not in satin, it’s just cotton, and I feel so unglamorous and plain next to you and…” I trailed off, and he paused to make sure I’d finished rambling before he responded.

“Bella, it’s true that I’m quite comfortable with this. I have no problem with being naked around you because I know you like seeing me that way, and I also know that, so far, when I’ve touched you, you’ve liked that too. But I understand that you feel the way you do. You have insecurities, and believe me when I say that I have plenty of my own. I have to ask though: when you’ve touched me, or been undressed in front of me, have I shown anything less than utter delight?”

“No,” I replied, trying not to sound petulant.

“Exactly. Because that’s what I feel when I have you in my arms. I believe this is an extension of what you’re always telling me – that you feel inferior next to me, and that you don’t deserve me. All I can tell you is that you have it so wrong, Bella.  _You_  are too good for  _me_. I will spend the rest of eternity showing you that, in every way I can, and my plans for that include thoroughly worshipping your body.

“I have just one thing that I have to ask you, love.” I nodded for him to continue, as his smoldering expression gave way to a hint of vulnerability. “Do you want to do this? Because if you don’t, then we won’t.”

I gasped, and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I do. I really do,” I assured him, trying to pour all my want into my expression.

The familiar shadow slid across his eyes. “Then I shall start that worship now.”

His kiss was intense but lingering, a slow burn that made me whimper and tremble against him, held tight by his arms around me, his fingers splayed across my skin. I was aware of each one, the nerves under them singing with anticipation.

He broke the kiss to lead me to the unbroken bed, sliding one hand beneath the fabric of my t-shirt to stroke my back, trailing up my spine and down, causing me to shiver and falter. The t-shirt was over my head and on the floor in an instant, leaving me in only the bra from the waist up. He leaned back so he could look at me properly, and his expression sent a rush of wetness between my legs. He took a deep breath, scenting me, and moved close again.

“No matter what you are wearing, never doubt that you are lovely. Never doubt the effect you have on me.” I could feel that effect, pressing hard against my thigh.

My jeans were quickly discarded, and I found myself propped up on my elbows at the end of the bed, with my legs dangling over the edge. Edward stood before me, still fully clothed. I wanted to tell him how unfair that was, but he leaned down to cover me, resting on his own elbows, his face before mine. We almost touched everywhere, with scant space between us that electricity flickered through.

“You might want to lie back,” he said, smiling devilishly. “This will take a while.” And indeed it did: he took his time kissing me as I lay prone, while his hands wandered down my arms, stroking across my belly and hips, brushing across my breasts but not quite touching, ghosting over the bare skin of my thighs but not going as high as I needed him to.

Every time I broke the kiss the gasp for air, he would give me mere moments to breathe before he reclaimed my lips. I was left a writhing, panting, moaning creature on the bed beneath him.

Finally, he pulled away from the kiss of his own accord. “Are you still thinking about how uncomfortable you feel?”

“No,” I moaned between pants. “I’m…not…thinking…at all.”

“Good.” He reached beneath me to unclasp my bra and rather than whipping the fabric away, he slid the straps down my arms unearthly slow, his gaze never leaving mine. White flashed over the edge of the bed as he discarded it, then he looked down very deliberately, and let me see in his face how much my body excited him.

He took hold of my hands, interlacing our fingers then moved one pair of clasped hands to my left breast, sliding up from my hip, across my ribs to the fullness, so we both cupped me. He massaged me, controlling our twin movements, occasionally ghosting a thumb over my nipple.

He let go of my other hand for a moment, just long enough to rip the cloth from my hips, and then I was bare to him. He lifted my right leg so it came to rest on the bed, foot flat on the sheets, and that left him cradled between my legs. Then he re-clasped our hands, and again moved them very deliberately down my stomach, over hip, over my thigh, and then both of our index fingers touched me.

The contrast of our skin – his cold and smooth, mine warm and pliant, made me jerk, but he very deliberately controlled the movement of our hands. I’d never touched myself in this way, and the thought that it was Edward making me do this made my head spin. Our fingers slid through my wetness to the little bundle of nerves he’d so expertly touched yesterday, circling round and round with the gentlest pressure. All the while, our hands kept moving on my breast.

My climax was unexpected – I hadn’t felt the pressure building, I was just suddenly tumbling into pleasure, the world rippling around me, blowing apart and settling back together.

Edward released both of my hands and removed the pressure, which for the moment was a little too intense. Instead, he slowly slid a finger into me, so slowly I felt every millimeter along my front wall. At every place that made me squirm, he stopped to explore, adjusting the pressure and rhythm to find the exact combination to bring me to the edge, before he would pull back to continue on his exploration.

If he’d been human I’d have scratched his back to bloody ribbons, but as it was, he was unscathed, and continued single-minded in his task.

He brought me to climax a second and third time before shucking his own clothes and climbing off the bed, returning to a standing position between my legs.

“You don’t know what a sight you are, laying there like that,” he told me. “I love seeing you laid out beneath me…” My breath hitched as he lifted my legs, spreading them out wide so they formed a deep ‘v’, perpendicular to my torso, his arms cradled beneath my thighs to keep them in place. He brushed against me, firm and unyielding. If I answered him, it was nonsensical, but if I had the words I’d have told him how beautiful he was above, every tendon taut and every inch of skin enticing.

He sank into me as slowly as he had with his finger, and even though this was now the fourth time we’d been together, the sensation of him stretching me was still a little overwhelming. He waited for me, and leaned down to kiss me softly before moving. Lying as I was, he had complete control, but I didn’t feel powerless; not with the way his eyes roamed over me and the tenderness he wore. Each thrust of his hips was insistent but he was keeping his full power leashed: this was only a fraction of what he was capable of. It was merely a prelude.

“Bella, love,” he said, his voice gritty with tension. “Turn your head.”

I raised an eyebrow in question but he broke his languorous rhythm to give several sharp, fast thrusts, and when I’d finished writhing, I complied.

The mirror. I’d completely forgotten about its presence, since I’d seen myself in it last night as I stripped for him. It was opposite the bed, and large enough that it reflected us in our entirety, showing Edward as his hips flexed into…well, was that me? The girl on the bed looked sort of like me, but I’d never seen that languid desire on my face. Her hair pooled behind her in a dark wing across the covers, her lips were red and full, and a thin sheen covered her skin. She…I…looked seductive. Tempting.

Our gazes caught in the mirror, and he raised his eyebrows at me. I nodded to answer him.  _Yes, I get it now._

He shifted my legs suddenly, so my ankles met behind his neck, my calves over his shoulders, and he bent at the waist to make the angle easier. Oh, this was…deep. Very deep. It felt like I should be able to taste him, but it was far from uncomfortable. I started moving, lifting my hips to meet his, grinding against him. He’d loosened the reins on his strength a little, and with each thrust a sound SMACK reverberated through the room.

My fourth climax wasn’t as unexpected as the first, but it caused Edward to very suddenly pick up the pace, and I could no longer keep up with him. He moved me once again, unwrapping my legs and pulling my feet so they rested flat on his chest, my knees bent together and pulled towards my own chest. I fisted the sheets beside me and looked back at the mirror, where our gazes locked again, his expression almost feral. He was chanting “Bella” over and over under his breath.

“Please tell me you’re ready,” he pleaded. “I’m – not much longer – now…”

“Yes,” I hissed. “Just keep…oh!”

I exploded around him, bucking and clenching violently, and screaming loud enough to scare the other guests again. He followed quickly, uttering a guttural rendition of my name before collapsing onto the bed over me, resting on his elbows and knees, still within me.

Although he didn’t really need to rest or catch his breath, physically, it still took him several minutes to move again. I relaxed beneath him, seemingly boneless.

“That was…” he mumbled against my collarbone, where his head had come to rest.

“Yeah,” was my stellar response. I was still waiting for my vocabulary to return, along with the rest of my faculties.

He shifted us to the head of the bed, wrapping the sheet around us and me around him, so I was in much the same position as when I woke this morning.

“So, do you get it now? Do you understand how much I love you; how much I desire you?”

“I do.” I thought of the way our eyes met in the mirror and my stomach clenched. It was a shame that I didn’t have the energy for another round, not just yet.

“I’m buying a mirror for my room in Forks,” he informed me. “I have lots of plans that involve mirrors now.”

“S’good,” I muttered thickly. “Five times. Wow.”

“Mmm.” His smile was very, very smug.

Another thought occurred to me. “But you only –  _you know_ – once. That doesn’t seem fair.”

He cocked an eyebrow at me. “It’s about quality, not quantity.”

“Well, I didn’t have any problems with either, so that still doesn’t make it fair.”

He bent his head to kiss me, our lips barely brushing and tongues barely grazing. “Believe me, Bella, I don’t feel cheated at all. I would gladly keep you here all day, proving to you just how many times I am capable of climaxing, but you need feeding, and you need to rest.”

I pouted at him, especially since he was hard again and it seemed such a shame for it to go to waste. He never got tired, so if he did all the work…

“Bella, love, when you’ve eaten, believe me that I will drag you back and ravish you…again.”

“Do you think the bed will last the night this time?”

He looked thoughtful for a moment. “I think so. Not all of my plans involve the bed.”

And he left me hanging to get dressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I stayed in that hotel room, I did not a) break a bed or b) christen the shower. One day, eh?
> 
> I have queued to get into the Uffizi for three hours, but I brought a book because I knew there’d be a long wait, and it was free entry on that day (hence the long line!). And Italian ice-cream will ruin all other kinds for you – yes, even Ben & Jerry’s.
> 
> [This](http://www.langantiques.com/category/10/5/item/10-1-1912/) is sort of what I think the ring looks like.


	4. Addio alla primavera

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the longest chapter yet – it’s 25 pages handwritten (yeah, I write by hand), and 20 of those were written in one day. Major hand cramp!
> 
> Thank you to my Beta, Octoberland.
> 
> Italian translations are at the bottom – these have been reviewed by Camilla, so a big thanks to her for correcting mine and Google’s mistakes.

**Addio alla primavera**

When I woke the next morning, it was on a mattress that felt like a cloud.  Edward lay next to me wearing a relaxed smile.  The sun outside the window was more muted than yesterday’s and I could already sense the cloud cover rolling in.

“You know I could really grow to dislike you if you insist on waking me up,” I told Edward, who was stroking a lazy path down my arm.  It was this trail of goose-bumps that had stirred me, so it was entirely his fault that I was awake.

His smile didn’t fade.  “Good morning, my love.  Alice will be back today, and she will insist on taking you shopping.  I want as much time alone with you as I can get.”

“Okay,” I relented, snuggling up closer to him.  “I can get behind that idea.  How long do we have?”

“A couple of hours,” he murmured into my hair.  “Any ideas about what we should do?”

“I’m sure you have  _plenty_ ,” I retorted.  “But first I want to shower.”  It had been a warm night, and I was sticky with sweat from sleeping and…well, from before I’d slept as well.  I had no idea how Edward could stand being next to me when I was like this.

“Oh, I have plenty of ideas on how we could while away the time in the shower…” he mused, and I shot him a dark look.  I don’t think it was very convincing, because internally I was salivating on the memories I had of wet naked Edward.  His crooked, confident smirk confirmed it.

“Okay, well I’m going to shower, and you – stay put!”  I ordered.  I dashed straight for the bathroom, robe-less this time, and he chuckled behind me.

Last night had been an experience, to say the least.  After we got dressed following our afternoon activities, he took me to a relaxed little  _trattoria_  down the street, where I had pizza and more ice-cream.  When we returned to the hotel, Edward proceeded to demonstrate to me his plans that didn’t involve the bed: they mainly revolved around the chair and the floor.  I’d had more practice at being above him, which he’d surprisingly seemed to really enjoy, though he still controlled my pace and movements.

Something had been unlocked in him in the past few days, and ever since he put the ring on my finger, he seemed loathed to lose physical contact with me, constantly needing to prove that he loved and wanted me.  I’d finally fallen asleep in the small hours of the morning, immediately after another world-melting climax, which sucked the last of my energy away.  Today, my legs ached and my spine still seemed to have the consistency of jelly.  I was  _very_  relaxed this morning.

I turned the shower on while I brushed my teeth, and let the water get hot, before opening the bathroom door and calling out to him.

“I know you’re planning to hijack my shower anyway, so you might as well come in now.”

He was beside me in a flash, whirling me under the water.  “As my lady wishes,” he said into my ear, before claiming my mouth.  I draped my arms around his neck, letting him support my weight.

“Mmm.”  He dragged his lips away from mine.  “Can I wash you again?”

“Sure.”  He eagerly squeezed shampoo into his palm and began rubbing it into my hair, giving me a thorough scalp massage in the process, before tipping me under the spray to rinse it out.  He followed it with conditioner then reached for the body wash.

“I have a better idea,” I suggested coyly.  “How about I wash you?”  I took the bottle from him and filled my palm, and his body reacted happily to my idea.  I rubbed my hands together to create a lather.

I began with his arms, running my fingers over every muscle, every sculpted line then swept my hands over his chest and down.  Edward didn’t really need to wash, but I had a plan, and this was the best way to accomplish it.

I dropped to my knees, causing him to moan out my name, rubbing his feet and calves before moving up to his thighs, paying as much attention to the skin there as he had when he washed me.  He backed up against the tiles, his hands fisted tightly beside his hips, and every sinew in him was rigid.

He was erect and level with my face; it was the closest I had ever been to him in this way before.  His skin was white, smooth and hairless, the shaft straight but swelling out at the tip, where a few beads of liquid oozed.  I knew from holding it in my hand that I could barely curl my fingers around him.

I swept my gaze up his body to meet his eyes, which blazed black.

“The other day, you said you couldn’t put your mouth on me while I’m still human.  What about the other way around?  Does the same thing apply?”

He let out a harsh gasp.  “No, but Bella, I don’t think I’ll last long if you do – uh!”  He broke off in a grunt as I wrapped my hand around him.

“I’m okay with that,” I assured him.  I moved my hand a few times, gliding up and down on his satiny skin, gathering courage to do this.  He was so big, how did girls fit these in their mouths?  The tension in his body increased with every pass of my palm.

Finally, I just leaned in and opened my mouth, running my tongue over him lightly, before sucking him in.  I’d heard the advice before: treat it like a popsicle, but he was so different – so much bigger, taking up all the space in my mouth.  He was also much, much sweeter.  For some reason I hadn’t expected his skin to taste the same as he did when we kissed, but the flavor was as wonderful, and I was suddenly hungry for it.

I kept my pace slow, and I brought a hand up to stroke him where my mouth couldn’t reach.  I only had Edward’s moans to tell me if I was doing this right, but he seemed to be enjoying it – his breathing was coming in fast, shallow pants, and he kept chanting my name under his breath.  I varied the suction, and used my tongue to caress the tip of him whenever I passed over it.

I gained confidence, and moved my mouth down his length even further sucking hard enough that my teeth grazed him as I came back up.  Abruptly, his hips bucked forward, away from the shower wall, and he hit the back of my throat for a moment, making me cough around him.  He hissed at the sensation of my throat closing around him, and pulled me away from him, out of my mouth and into his own hand.  He gave a few fast pumps and creamy liquid spurted out over his thighs, before washing down the drain in the cascade of water.  The other fist smashed against the marble and cracked a tile.

He brought me to my feet, and I was the one panting now.  He pulled me flush against him and whispered to me.  “Bella, are you okay, love?”

“I’m fine.”  I stood on tip-toe to kiss him.  “I was surprised, but not hurt.”

He was still tense, the black of his eyes deep and imploring.  “I didn’t mean to move but it was so good, so intense – I just lost it for a moment…”

“I’m glad you liked it,” I whispered, sneaking a peek up at him from beneath my eyelashes.

“If you don’t want to do it again, that’s okay,” he said hastily.

I wrapped my arms around him again, pulling him down to meet my lips.  “No, I think it’s a good thing that you enjoyed it.”  We kissed leisurely.  “You just need to work on your control some more.  Which means we should practice.  A lot.”

The thought of practice excited Edward again, and he pressed into me; I was beginning to worry that I couldn’t possibly keep up with his stamina.

He began growling.  The vibrations passed into me where we touched – chest and arms and lips, making my nerves quiver under my skin.  It was an interesting sensation, little licks of fire flashing over my spine as surely as if he’d kissed a trail down it.

He turned us so I was the one pressed up against the tiles, one hand drifting up from my butt to my chest and fingers stroked at my nipples, touching until I was firm beneath his fingertips.

“You know it’s not fair that I came and you didn’t,” Edward whispered silkily, and my knees gave out.  He used that phrase so casually, and evidently liked the effect it had on me.  As a matter of fact, I liked the effect it had on me.  I couldn’t believe that Edward Cullen, the proper young Edwardian gentleman, would find it in him to say such things.

The hand at my breast roamed downwards, spreading my thighs and finding the spot without hesitation, two fingers caressing me until I was trembling against him.

“Edward,” I gasped.  “Want you.”

He lifted me, so my hips rested above his, with my back pressed to the marble, and I wrapped my legs around his waist for support.  This felt familiar; I could almost feel the sunshine on my face and hear the gentle music of the water in the fountain.  Our foreheads rested together, our breath mingling, and he pushed into me.

With the slickness of the tiles, I could find no purchase to thrust against him, so he had complete control over the pace.  He took it slowly, and I just wanted speed.  I was on the edge, ready to tumble over at any moment, but this leisurely movement wasn’t enough to push me.

“Please, please – harder – ” I begged, and he ignored me, doggedly sticking to his maddeningly even movements.

“This is how I wanted you in the courtyard,” he told me.  “Above me, completely at my mercy, begging for more.”

I moaned at his words, snaking one hand down his chest, then across my belly towards my groin, desperate for more sensation.  He grabbed my wrist and lifted my arm above my head, pinning it to the wall.  I fisted my other hand in his hair and tugged roughly.

“Do you want to see how it would have been?  I was so out of control that day – do you think you can handle that?”

“Yes,” I sighed, and he let go.

His thrusts were suddenly fast and furious, and I could appreciate the position properly – he filled all of me as he moved, and his pelvis rubbed against me with every jerk of his hips, moving me tantalizingly closer to that edge.

He pulled my pinned hand towards his lips and kissed the ring I wore.

“I love you.  Do you like feeling me inside you?”

I whimpered and tried to grind down onto him.  He pushed his hips into mine, pinning me completely to the wall.  “Do you like it when I’m rough like this?”

His words were my undoing, and I unraveled around him between one breath and the next, clenching rhythmically as the world narrowed to a pinprick of pleasure, exploding outwards.  When the feeling subsided, I sagged against him.  He slowed again, but the rhythm was still insistent.

“I want to try something different.”

I could only nod against his shoulder.  He released me gently, pulling out of me and dropping me to my feet, before turning me around and placing my palms flat against the wall.  I was bent very slightly at the waist, with my hair was plastered down my back.  He swept it out of the way, pressing his skin against mine then slid inside me again.  One of his hands braced against the wall beside mine, and the other slid around my waist, holding me to him.

Oh, my.  Of everything we’d tried so far that I’d thought was deep, this was something else; every stroke hit that place inside me that made me writhe.  He resumed his languid pace, testing how I would react to this angle, but the tension in his arms told me he was holding back.

“Edward,” I gasped.  “Let go.”

“Bella, you feel so good like this,” he grunted into my ear, picking up the speed infinitesimally.  “So tight around me; I can’t let go.  I won’t be able to stop.”

He kissed a path down my neck, moving the hand on my waist up to cup my breast, massaging me softly.  I noticed again how my nipples seemed to be directly connected to everything below, and every time he passed his thumb over me, I clenched, and he snarled.

“Are you nearly there?” he panted.

“Yes.  Just need a little harder – oh,  _yes_.”  He complied before I finished speaking, and the force of his thrusts had me convulsing around him.  My hands slid down the tiles as I collapsed to my knees, my throat taking another battering as I screamed myself hoarse.  He fell with me, catching me around the waist so I wouldn’t bruise on the tile, and then he let loose a string of curses in my ear announcing his own pleasure.

I leaned back against him when I could, dropping my head so it rested on his shoulder and our cheeks touched.

“Well, that was…”

He hummed in reply, his hands still moving on my skin.

“And there are a few new things to add to the bill.  Cracked tile, epic water bill.”

He laughed, and that made us both writhe.  He was ready to go  _again_.  Instead, he pulled out of me, and hauled me to my feet.

“As much as I’d like to stay here and add ever more to the bill, Alice will be here soon.  I think you want to be dressed and ready before she gets here.”  I groaned my displeasure.

The rest of the shower involved only washing-related activities.  I was thoroughly exhausted and wondering how on earth I was going to survive a shopping trip with Alice.

I dressed casually again, and Edward packed our belongings while I went for breakfast.  I was famished today – probably as a result of all the energy I’d been expending.  We were catching a flight this afternoon, so we’d be back in Forks before nightfall, well, before nightfall there – the time difference was confusing me.  I’d been gone for nearly a week.  Charlie was going to be pissed.

It was Alice who opened the door to the room when I knocked on it.  It took me a moment to process her outfit, which was very Audrey Hepburn: a black shift dress over a thin, white, long-sleeved turtleneck, black hose, black pumps, black opera gloves, a white headscarf, and big, dark glasses that covered half of her face.  She’d topped it off with a string of pearls and a large slouchy hat.

“Hi, Alice.  Is that what you’re wearing to go shopping?  Oh!”  Excitement filled me.  “Are we not going shopping anymore?”

She frowned and pulled the shades off, annoyance clear in her eyes.  “Of  _course_  we’re still going.  This,” she indicated her ensemble, “will allow me to walk around without attracting attention.”

I paused a beat.  “Are you sure?  It’s quite an attention-grabbing outfit.”

“Come in, we can’t talk about this in the hall.”  When the door was closed, she continued.  “The weather is a bit unpredictable today.  It’s mainly going to be cloudy, but there will be patches of sunshine that will be hard to avoid.  This covers most of my skin up, so we don’t have to stay inside.”

“But won’t you attract more attention dressed like that?”

She laughed.  “Oh, Bella, not where we’re going.  They all know about me and my delicate constitution.

I snorted at the thought of anybody believing Alice was frail.

Edward came out of the bathroom in jeans, looking as mouthwatering as he had yesterday.  He came straight to me, pulling my face to his for a tender kiss.  “I missed you,” he said against my lips.

Alice cleared her throat beside us.  He sighed.

“I’m going to miss you even more today,” he continued.  “You were right the other day, I need to hunt – it’s been months since I’ve properly fed.”

I tightened my grip on his arms and turned my face up for another kiss. “I’m going to miss you too.”

“Oh, is that the ring?  It’s lovely!” Alice said brightly, clearly trying to break us apart.  I leaned my head against Edward’s chest and turned my face to her.  She took hold of my left hand and lifted it to inspect the ring.  “Good choice.  It suits both of you.”

“I’m glad you approve,” Edward said drily.

She glowered at him.  “This is important; I have to make sure the dress matches the ring.”  Her mood changed, and the ear-to-ear smile returned.  “I had so much fun when I was hunting – I’ve planned so much already!  I thought an Italian theme would be apt, so that’s what we’re going with for the food and decorations.  Of course, we can’t tell Charlie why we really chose the theme, but I can convince him it’s because of Bella’s name.”

I groaned and buried my face into Edward, inhaling him.  “Make her go away,” I whispered.

“Bella,” I could practically hear her pouting.  “I’m just doing it because I love you.  I want this wedding to be perfect, and I know you hate to be involved in this kind of stuff.  Please let me plan your wedding?”

The guilt was too much to bear, especially when I looked up and met her wide, imploring topaz eyes.

“Okay,” I muttered.  “But all the big decisions need running past me and Edward, and we can veto whatever we want.”

“That’s wonderful!” she squealed, and pulled me out of Edward’s arms into her own.  “We’re going to have so much fun!”

She glanced at Edward.  “Aren’t you supposed to be hunting?”  He didn’t look like he was planning on moving.  “Nothing’s going to happen this afternoon.  Look.”

There was a moment where they were both sifting through her visions of my future.  “See?”

Edward nodded tersely.  “I suppose I should go.”  He crushed me to him again, burying his nose in my hair and inhaling deeply.  “What is there to hunt, anyway?”

Alice made a sound of disgust.  “Not much.  Some goats and deer.  There are wolves if you want to venture into the mountains.”

“Lovely.”  He threaded his fingers through my hair.  “I don’t think I’ll go so far though.  I want to be back as soon as I can be.”

With one last brush of lips on my forehead, he was gone, no doubt aiming to get out of Florence while it was still cloudy.  Once out of the city, he’d be free to run as fast as he wanted across the Tuscan countryside.

“Ready?” Alice asked, taking my hand and leading me out of the room.  I shuffled along and kept my head down as we passed through reception.  Edward and I had probably made as much noise last night as we had on the first.  Alice called out a greeting to the woman on the desk and hurried after me.

“I promise, Bella, it’s not going to be as bad as you think.  We’re only going to a couple of stores, and I know exactly what I’m after.  We’ll be back in time for check-out.”  Edward had arranged a later check-out at the hotel than normal, for the early afternoon.

We moved through the streets briskly, and she kept my hand in hers, like I was an errant child she was afraid would go running off given half a chance.  We ended up on a busy street lined with stores, all of which had designer names above the stark window displays.  She took me down a side street that I wouldn’t have given a second glance to – there were a few restaurants, some dumpsters and parked Vespas, and one more of those ultra-chic stores.  I didn’t recognize the name above the door.

A bell chimed as we entered, and a very elegant woman rose from behind the counter.  She looked every inch the Italian: olive skin, dark eyes, dark hair pulled back into a French twist, and she wore a pants-suit with a scattering of gold jewelry.

“Alice!” she greeted. “ _Che bello rivederti!  Questa deve essere Isabella_?”

She took my hand and kissed me on both cheeks.

“ _Piacere Isabella!  Alice era molto eccitata quando è venuta a trovarci l’altro giorno.  É questo l’anello_?”

I flashed a perplexed glance at Alice, and she gave a tinkling laugh.

“ _Scusa_ _, Silvana, ma Isabella non è italiana.  Non capisce una parola di quel che stiamo dicendo_!”

“Oh, I’m sorry!  I just assumed, since her name is  _Italiano_.”

“Don’t worry about it.  Is Sergio ready for us?”

“He is.  He’s very excited to see what ideas you have for him.”

We were led across the room to an arched doorway, which opened onto a corridor.  A man walked up the corridor, his arms outstretched to Alice.

“ _Signorina Cullen!  Che sorprendenti creazioni avete per me?  É questa Isabella_?”

“ _Si_ _._ __ _Lei non parla italiano_.”

After they’d finished hugging, Alice spoke again.

“Bella, this is Sergio Migliore.  He’ll be creating your wedding dress.”

“Hi,” I said.  He took both of my hands in his, and kissed the backs of them.

“ _Bella_  by name,  _Bella_  by nature.  You give me such good material to work with Alice!  She will be a vision in white!”

He took us into a brightly lit room that I assumed was a studio.  There were rolls of fabric everywhere, a couple of tailor’s dummies, and lots of sketches adorning the walls.

“So, what did you have in mind?” Sergio asked Alice, and she launched into a detailed description that I couldn’t follow.  There were lots in it about sleeve shapes, and hemlines, and darts.  I barely understood most of the terms they were using; it was like they were planning a military operation, although it was hardly surprising since this was Alice.  Sergio sketched frantically with every word she said.  At one point, he came over to examine the ring, and then he began a lengthy debate with her about what type of lace would work best.  Finally, they lapsed completely into Italian, and I had to amuse myself with figuring out what the sketches on the wall were actually of.

I missed Edward.  It was like a physical pull in my midsection, urging me to find him.  I reminded myself that it was just for a couple of hours, but my body wasn’t listening.

After what seemed like eons, both Sergio and Alice seemed happy with the finished sketch.

“ _Bellissimo_!  She will be the most beautiful bride your little town has ever seen.  I just need to take her measurements, and I will get working immediately.”

For the next half hour, I was prodded and poked, stripped down to my underwear as Sergio flapped around me with a tape measure, while he and Alice had a rapid-fire discussion about the undergarments and accessories best suited to my dress.  I wasn’t asked for my opinion, but the gleam in Alice’s eyes told me she could already see me wearing it in her mind’s eye, and she was happy with the result.

When I was full clothed again, they exchanged air kisses one last time, and I bundled back onto the street, blinking in the bright light.  Alice pulled her hat lower to shield her face.

“See, Bella, wasn’t that fun?”

“Uh…yeah.”

“Sergio is a master at what he does – his work is very historically-inspired, very vintage-revivalist – and there is nobody better to make your dress.  Edward will be so happy when he sees you in it!”

That thought thawed me a little: if it made him happy, then I could live with it.

“So, where are we going now?” I asked as Alice led me back into the bustle of the main streets.

“We just have one more place we need to visit – it’s a custom boutique that makes the most exquisite lingerie.  They’ll have exactly what we need to go under your dress, plus it won’t harm to stock up while we can.”

The memory of Edward losing it when he saw me in blue satin and stockings made me much more amenable to  _this_  kind of shopping.

The boutique was small, but the stock on display was bewildering – there were items where I couldn’t figure out what they were supposed to be.  Alice apparently knew the owner in here as well, and we were assigned an assistant, Margherita, to follow us around the store and catch whatever Alice threw in her direction.

“We’ll sort me out first,” Alice said, “then we’ll go round again for you, Bella.”  She piled Margherita’s arms high with jewel-colored satin and wispy threads of lace, and Margherita disappeared for a moment to deposit Alice’s selections behind the counter.  Alice had already started on my pile when she returned, going for more sedate pieces at my insistence.

“No thongs,” I warned, and she waved a hand at me.

“I know what you’ll be comfortable with and what you won’t.  I promise that you’ll like everything I choose.”

I still haggled as we went, convincing her to add a selection of cotton briefs and she could pick some more daring pieces in return.  She also chose several items in white satin, including a garter belt and white silk stockings, which she informed me were for underneath my wedding dress.

The final bill was eye-watering.

“Alice,” I hissed, “we need to put some of this back!  That’s a ridiculous amount to spend on underwear!”

“Don’t worry, Bella, it’s not as bad as it looks.  It’s all down to the exchange rate.”

It was only when we were heading back to the hotel that I realized she was lying.  We passed a bank window which had the exchange rates displayed, and when I quickly calculated the amount we’d spent in Euros back into dollars, it was still an outrageous figure.  She knew the exact moment I figured it out.

“They don’t accept returns, and Edward would be  _heartbroken_  if you tried to take it back.”

I scowled at her.  “That ‘Edward will love it’ thing will only work so many times, you know.”

She smiled brightly.  “I only have to keep using it until you give in and accept whatever I think is best.”

It was early afternoon, so we stopped at a cafe so I could get a slice of pizza, Coke and my last  _gelato_ , which I ate as we strolled back to the hotel.  The sun had disappeared again.

“We’ll wait outside,” Alice said as we approached the hotel.  “Edward is in reception, negotiating the damage.  So far I think he’s offered them enough to completely redecorate the room – three times over.  He’s ordered a cab to take us to the airport which will be here any minute now.”

I leaned against the wall, enjoying the last few licks of my ice-cream, and the warmth.  Forks was going to be a shock to the system after a few days in Italian springtime.

“Alice?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I have ice-cream at the wedding?  Proper Italian ice-cream?”

“I’ve already got Esme sourcing it.  I want to have miniature stone-baked pizzas, too.”

“Thanks Alice.  Is this one of those times when you know best?”

“Oh, I always know best.”

A car pulled up at the curb, and Alice bent her head in through the open window to chat animatedly with the driver.  She’d discarded the hat, headscarf, glasses and gloves now the cloud cover was absolute.  Edward finally emerged, and slung our bags into the trunk of the saloon.  He came straight for me, pulling me to him and kissing a trail from my forehead, down my nose to my waiting lips.

“Missed you,” I murmured.  Now he was back with me, the pull I’d felt all day settled and a sense of rightness washed through me.

Alice settled in the passenger seat, leaving Edward and I to sit in the back – although, this time we had to actually sit in our own seats, which Edward was not happy about.  He kept casting nervous glances in the driver’s direction, wincing at the erratic movements, and kept one arm wrapped around my waist, braced for any potential impact.  The driver weaved in and out of lanes, took corners sharply, and drove a little too quickly for my liking.  I didn’t see how it was any different to Alice’s driving.

Alice kept him distracted with a stream of dialogue, and Edward whispered to me.  “He doesn’t understand English.  We can say what we like.”

“That’s good,” I replied.  “You look better.”

The circles under his eyes had faded, and his irises were finally back to the liquid shade of topaz that I loved.

“I think I may have put a species of Italian goat on the endangered list.  I didn’t dare venture too far away, and it was all I could find.”

“Well, when we’re back in Forks you can go looking for mountain lion.”

He made an unhappy noise in the back of his throat.  “Back to reality.”

The Coke had had the effect I wanted, and I was buzzing all the way through the airport, which amused Alice and concerned Edward.  The first flight was only an hour long, as we had to change at London Heathrow.  There, we had a few hours to kill before we could get on the connecting flight to SeaTac.

Alice was in her element: the terminal in Heathrow housed a Harrods and a Mulberry store, and she went on a mini spending spree.  Edward and I strolled around, stopping to get a sandwich for me.  He also bought me a chocolate bar in a deep purple wrapper, and handed it to me with the words, “I’ve heard it’s good.”

It was the best chocolate I’d ever had, coming in second only to the ice-cream as the best thing I’d ever tasted in my life.  Actually, that wasn’t true: neither compared to Edward.

“Oh my word, what  _is_  this?”  I asked in awe.

“It’s Cadbury’s.  I can get some shipped to Forks if you’d like.”

“If you can manage that, then no matter what Charlie has to throw at us when we get home, I can promise you that I’ll spend the entire weekend alone with you.   _Practicing_.”

“Deal.”  His voice was low and raw.

We found one of those rows of metal chairs that are in every airport in the world.  I explained my personal theory to Edward: they made the chairs so uncomfortable that you couldn’t sit in them for long, so you had to go shop in the terminal and spend even more money.  He laughed at me for a few minutes until I threatened to go find Alice and spend the afternoon with her.  He placated me with whisper-soft kisses and a few wafts of his intoxicating breath over my face.  We sat cuddled together, occasionally touching but not needing to speak.

Alice returned to us half an hour before boarding.  She’d found one of those trolleys designed to move luggage around, and had it loaded with shopping bags.

“What?” she said at my incredulous expression.  “Rose would kill me if she knew I’d been to Harrods and hadn’t bought her something.  And I found a lovely coat for Esme – in fact, I got gifts for everyone.  It would have been rude not to.”

“I’m sure they’ll appreciate the thought,” Edward said evenly.

“I’ve heard from Esme as well.  She’s in Forks right now, and she went to see Charlie.”

My head snapped up.  “How bad is it?”

“She’s got him calmed down quite a bit.  We’ve devised an official cover story.”

Edward groaned beside me, and I looked between him and Alice.  She explained to me our excuse.

“Edward was in a car crash in L.A. and was hospitalized with head injuries.  He hadn’t come round after a few days, so I decided to go to Forks and fetch you, since he’d been pining for you ever since we moved away, and it worked!  As soon as you turned up at his bedside, he woke up.  I’m insisting it’s a miracle, although Carlisle has everyone else convinced it’s a coincidence and Edward woke up when he was ready to.  You two are back together, and Esme has decided the accident was the last straw in L.A., so we’re moving back to Forks at her insistence.”

“And that’s what she told Charlie?”

“Yes; she’s visiting as one concerned parent to another.  She found out that all you’d left him was a cryptic note, and you were so wrapped up in Edward at the hospital that you forgot to call and update him.  Esme has expressed her disappointment in both of us for our poor choices, but Charlie completely sympathizes with me.  Of course, Edward can’t be blamed for any of this because he was unconscious.”

“Great.  That just leaves me in trouble!”

Alice shrugged.  “I think he’s going to be fairly lenient.”

“Wait a minute – how is Edward supposed to have recovered from this accident so quickly?  He looks as healthy as ever.”

Edward leaned forward. “And more importantly, how did the Volvo fare in the crash?”

“You weren’t driving the Volvo you were in Carlisle’s Mercedes.  He’s buying the newest model to replace it.  As for your injuries, most of them are covered by your clothes we just need to wrap your head in a bandage.”

He growled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like a tirade against the rest of the Cullens’ parentage.

“There’s something else you aren’t telling me,” he said aloud.  “You only hum that song in your head when you’re trying to hide something from me, and you’ve been screaming it for the past five minutes.”

“What song?” I asked.

“Barbie Girl,” Alice replied.  “Well, there is one more thing, Edward, and you aren’t going to like it.”

“Clearly.”

“You can’t drive for a few weeks.”

“WHAT?”

“Carlisle will give you the all clear in the next fourteen days, but until then, you’re recovering from a head injury and he’s prohibited it.  Charlie knows all about it.”

Edward narrowed his eyes at her, and I tried to control my silent laughter.  “Why did you have to choose a head injury?” he grumbled.

They finally called us for boarding, and Alice went on in front of us.  She turned right, but we were directed to the left by the very well-manicured male flight attendant, whose gaze was glued to Edward’s body.

“Why are we going a different direction than Alice?” I asked Edward.

“Alice has decided to travel in business class to give us some alone time.”

“If she’s in business class, what…holy crow!”  I shot him an accusing glare.  “We’re in first class!”

“It’s a long flight, love.  I want you to be comfortable.”

I gave up grumbling when I settled into the plush seat; I had more legroom than I knew what to do with.  The chairs were high-backed and deeply-upholstered, isolating us from our fellow travelers, since there was no-one in the seats closest to us.  The attendant came by and was very attentive to Edward, who brushed him off and ordered a glass of champagne for me.

I protested, and he hushed me with a kiss, no doubt to show the attendant exactly where his sexual orientation lay.  “Enjoy the last alcohol you’ll be able to drink until you turn twenty-one.”  Then he whispered to me, “This is probably the last drink you’ll ever have.”

The first glass was followed by a second and third.  It was much tarter than the wine I’d had in Florence, but the bubbles softened the flavor.  Flight attendants of both genders were finding excuses to trail past our seats, and Edward repeatedly had to turn down the offer of drinks.  In the end he relented and asked for a glass of water, stroking my engagement ring as he spoke to the dazed woman.  The saccharine pleasantness turned cool after that, especially towards me.

After the male attendant had brought my fourth glass of champagne, Edward leaned over to whisper to me.  “He was thinking there’s no way you can suck me as well as he could.”

I choked on the bubbles, and he offered me his water.

“Is that what you normally have to put up with?” I asked when the fizzing up my nose had stopped.

He nodded.  “I’ve got a strategy for it now though – I just replace whoever is doing the fantasizing with you.  I find that’s much more appealing.”

I blushed and finished the water, declining more champagne.  All I could think about was taking Edward in my mouth again, and the taste of the alcohol was positively sour compared to him.

The temperature of the cabin dropped gradually, and we snuggled under the blankets provided.  It seemed everyone else was sleeping or engrossed in the in-flight entertainment, and the attendants had retreated to the galley.

“You know, there’s a common fantasy people have when they’re on a plane,” Edward murmured to me.  He flicked his gaze in the direction of the bathroom, its light set to ‘vacant’.

“Eww.  No!”  I’d been to the bathroom a while earlier, and although the cubicle was a little bigger here in first class than the ones in economy, it was still a cramped space.  It was still a  _bathroom._

He huffed out a breath.  “Fine.  I just didn’t know whether it was a fantasy of yours.”  His voice turned seductive.  “It’s one of the things I’ve had to replace you with in someone else’s daydream, and I thought it was hot.”  He was running his fingertips over my neck and face, and the combination of his touch and voice caused my body to react.

“Absolutely not,” I hissed.  “I just, I can’t, it’s – ick!”  I shuddered for emphasis.  No matter how much I wanted to be with him right now, I couldn’t bring myself to do it in a toilet cubicle.  “I’m sorry,” I whispered against his lips.  Then inspiration struck me.  “I do have an idea, but it will only work if you keep  _completely_ silent, and you’ll need to warn me if someone is going to walk past.”

He caught on quickly and grinned wickedly.  “Oh, I can keep quiet.  Can  _you_?”  He kissed me roughly, invading my mouth with his tongue, and his hand curled around my hip.  I dragged my palm down from his chest, across his taut stomach, to the hard presence between his legs.

“You first,” I whispered, pulling his zipper down tooth by tooth, to keep the sound to a minimum.  He shifted his hips impatiently.  When the zipper was fully down, I pushed my hand in, surprised by straight in contact with his cool skin.

“You’re not wearing underwear,” I gasped out.

“Alice warned me not to,” he breathed.  “I didn’t ask why.”

I curled my hand around him and pulled him free, though he remained concealed by the blanket, and started to stroke him slowly.  Edward kept his promise and was quiet: he didn’t even breathe.  I tightened my fist and quickened my pace, and his eyes rolled back, his fists clenched tightly against the armrests.  The strain was evident in his entire body, but the sight of his tensed muscles only increased my arousal.

I pumped my hand as quickly as I could, sometimes running my thumb over the head, and I was greeted with a muted hiss whenever I did.  I couldn’t keep the speed up much longer, so I leaned in to kiss along his jaw line until my mouth was at his ear.

“I wish I could get down on my knees for you.”

“Bella, fu – “  He cut off his response by shoving a pillow in his mouth, and let his hips buck once before I felt him explode over my hand, the viscous liquid coating my palm and fingers.  The expression on his face should have been frightening – eyes black and fierce, his jaw set in a hard line, and his lips drawn back from his teeth in a snarl – but it reminded me of him when he was above me, inside me.  I associated that look completely with the moment of his pleasure.

He drew my hand away from him and wiped it off with the cloth of the ruined pillow, fastening his jeans deftly with one hand.

“ _That_  was hot,” I told him, nuzzling into his neck.  “I like seeing you lose control like that.”

He shoved the ruined pillow into a paper bag and stowed it under the seat.

“I like losing control like that,” he said, rubbing his nose softly at the pulse point under my ear.  “It’s you.  Only you can make me lose it like that.”  He kissed me tenderly, and eventually his fingers trailed to my breasts, and followed the same path I had made on him to the buttons on my jeans.  He stroked at the patch of curls until he slid his fingers under the elastic of my panties.

“You  _are_  wearing underwear.  Shame.”

I couldn’t respond.  I’d bitten down on my lip to keep from crying out as he slid one cool finger between my wet, heated lips, sliding along their length until it returned to tap on the knot of nerves.  The pressure was so light, and I could only beg for more with my eyes, because if I opened my mouth the whole plane would know exactly what we were doing.

Another finger joined the first, gliding through my folds until he pushed both into me, leaving his thumb to stroke me.  I swallowed back moan after moan, chewing on my lower lip until it was ready to bleed.

“Here, love, bite down on this.”  He pushed another pillow between my teeth, and I clamped down obligingly.

He was as thorough as he ever was in his quest to bring me pleasure, returning to those spots he’d discovered the last time he touched me like this, stroking them with the lightest touch.  I grabbed his wrist and squeezed, trying to pull his hand to move faster.  Every time the pleasure started to build, he moved onto another spot, leaving it to start building from the beginning.  His thumb skimmed the softest of circles on me.  All the while, he whispered to me, things that were dirty and sweet in equal measure.

“I love you, Bella Swan, and I can’t wait until you are Bella Cullen.  I love the feel of you, wet and hot around my fingers, although not as much as I love being buried inside of you.  I love the fact that I am the only man who will ever touch you this way, the only man who will ever see your sweet face as you surrender to ecstasy.”

He twisted his fingers inside in rapid movements that delighted every nerve in me.

“I love the scent of you when you want me, and the taste of the wetness you produce when you are ready for me.  I can’t wait until I can suck you as thoroughly as you do me.  I can’t wait until it’s safe for you to drink me, if that’s what you want to do.  I can’t wait to be able to take you as fiercely as I am able to, and know that we can make love for days without tiring.”

He curled his fingers now, repeatedly inside me against the place that responded the most, and I shook with the need to find release.  His eyes were a black I could drown in.

“Every day that we exist, I will seek to please you, in whatever form you want that pleasure to take.  I will never grow tired of you, because you are my everything.  My only love.  My mate, my wife, my destiny.  Mine.”

I whimpered and thrust my hips against his hand.  So close…

“Bella, my love, please won’t you come for me?”

He flicked his thumb over me one last time and I obliged, shuddering in the chair and spasming around his fingers, topaz fire burning behind my eyes and shooting through my veins as he continued to stroke me until I was spent.

When I was completely still, lazing against him, he withdrew his fingers, and I heard the familiar suckling sound that meant he was licking them clean.  He fastened my jeans because I couldn’t; I could barely keep my eyes open.

“Sleep, Bella.  I’ll wake you before we land.”

It still took me several minutes to drift off, as I had to wait for the high to dissipate from my veins, and let my mind and body drift back down to earth.

He gently shook me awake when we were twenty minutes outside of SeaTac, and I shuffled off to the bathroom to clean myself up, taking the little bag of complimentary toiletries with me.  My hair was a lost cause: it stood up in every direction, knotted from sleeping in the chair, and I wrestled with the tangles for several minutes before giving up.  Alice had even packed a clean pair of panties in my hand luggage.  I was thankful for the foresight, but on the other hand, I didn’t like the idea that anyone had seen me doing that.  It was bad enough that, despite her being in another section of the plane, she had undoubtedly heard  _everything_.

The male attendant had one last attempt at flirting with Edward when we exited the plane, and as we walked through the gate he discreetly tossed something in a trash can.

“His phone number?” I guessed, and Edward grimaced in response.

We waited for Alice to disembark, and she strolled up still looking like a film star from the ‘50s.  “Breakfast at Tiffany’s was one of the movie choices,” she said, grinning.  “I  _adore_  that movie.”

We headed out to the baggage claim with me tucked under Edward’s arm and pressed into his side.  It was so weird to be back in America: everything felt so familiar, and yet so distant.  It was hard to believe we’d only been gone for four days.

Up ahead, there was a group being given a wide berth by the rest of the people in the terminal.  It could only be our welcome party.

Emmett was the first to greet us, bounding up to me and yanking me from Edward’s hold, pulling me off my feet into a bone-crushing embrace.

“I’ve missed you so much, Bella.  No-one else in the family is as entertaining as you are.”

“Thanks,” I panted out, catching my breath when he released me.

“So,” he continued, “I hear you popped Eddie’s cherry in a courtyard.  Dang Swan, I always thought there was something a little bit kinky about you.  Public sex on your very first time?  Nice!”  He shut up at the identical glares from Edward and Rosalie.

She’d walked up behind him, looking as breathtaking as ever, even if the shadows under her eyes were almost dark enough to match the pitch of her irises.

“Edward, I’m sorry.”

He grunted non-committedly.  “She could have been killed.  If the Volturi found out – ”

“But they didn’t,” interrupted Alice.  “And all’s well that ends well.”  She wasn’t looking at us she was staring at Jasper, who stood frozen some yards away, looking as pained as ever.

“Bella,” he began.  “I need to apologize as well.  But right now, I can’t…I just can’t.”  He gave Alice one last desperate look and backed away, disappearing into the crowd.  Far from appearing upset, Alice clapped her hands together in delight, and she ran after him.

I turned to Edward, my heart in my throat.  “Is it still so painful to smell me?”

“No, love,” Edward said softly.  “It’s not the blood at all that made him run.  He was overwhelmed by the lust I’m feeling.  He had to go, ah…work it off.  That’s why Alice has followed him.”

“Oh, God.”  I flushed and Emmett cackled, continuing even beyond Rosalie’s murderous stare this time.

Carlisle and Esme were the last to come forward, and Esme hugged me to her tightly, not letting go for several minutes.

“It’s so good to see you again, sweetheart.  We’ve all missed you so much.”

“Thank you.  I’ve missed you too.”  I glanced Carlisle’s way over her shoulder, and he smiled warmly at me.

“I’m glad Edward came to his senses, even if it involved a trip to Italy.”

“Glad I could help,” I said, and Esme finally stood back.  She beamed as she took in the way Edward stood so close to me.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so happy, Edward!  I’ve got everything prepared – ”

She shut up at a glance from Edward, and I narrowed my eyes at him.  “What have you done now?”

“You’ll like it, I promise.”

We ended up driving back in Emmett’s jeep, since Carlisle and Esme had to wait for Alice and Jasper to return from…wherever it was they’d gone.  Edward admired Carlisle’s new Mercedes in the parking lot, and the male vampires spent several minutes locked in a discussion about car specifications.

On the drive back, Rosalie pestered both of us for forgiveness.  I didn’t see what there was to forgive, and I said so.

“It was a misunderstanding, and it’s as much Edward’s fault for jumping the gun.”

He wasn’t happy that I sided with Rosalie, but I mouthed ‘practice’ to him and he grudgingly forgave her.

The journey to Forks went too quickly, even though it was dark by the time we reached the outskirts of town.  Just before we turned onto Charlie’s street, Edward leaned over to me.  “I’ll be waiting in your room.”  Then he leapt out of the jeep and fled into the tree line, swallowed quickly by the mass of greenery.

We pulled up outside my house, and as expected the cruiser was parked in the drive.

“Wish me luck,” I said to no-one in particular.  Emmett grinned at me in the rearview mirror, and Rosalie muttered “Luck”.  I climbed out and trudged to the front door, which swung open before I could reach for the handle.  In the doorway stood Charlie, arms crossed over his chest, his expression inscrutable.

“You’ve got some explaining to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italian translations:  
> Addio alla primavera - Farewell to spring  
> Trattoria – small restaurant, usually fairly cheap (a.k.a. the sort of places I can afford to eat in when I’ve been to Italy)  
> Che bello rivederti! Questa deve essere Isabella?  
> \- How lovely to see you again! This must be Isabella?  
> Piacere Isabella! Alice era molto eccitata quando è venuta a trovarci l’altro giorno. É questo l’anello?  
> \- Nice to meet you Isabella! Alice was so excited when she came to see us the other day. Is this the ring?  
> Scusa, Silvana, ma Isabella non è ‘italiana. Non capisce una parola di quel che stiamo dicendo!  
> \- My apologies, Silvana, Isabella isn’t Italian. She doesn’t understand a word!  
> Signorina Cullen! Che sorprendenti creazioni avete per me? É questa Isabella?  
> \- Miss Cullen! What amazing creations do you have for me? Is this Isabella?  
> Si. Lei non parla italiano. - Yes. She doesn’t speak Italian.  
> Bella – Beautiful  
> Bellissimo! – Very beautiful.
> 
> Italian drivers are crazy. Scary crazy.
> 
> Sorry, Americans, your chocolate just doesn’t match ours. Even Godiva can’t beat a good old-fashioned bar of Dairy Milk, although Cadbury’s just got taken over by an American company and it’s caused a bit of national crisis – we’re all in fear for our chocolate!
> 
> I actually looked up the price of flights from Heathrow to SeaTac, cause I’m a geek like that (people keep telling me they like the detail in the story – well, I have to check that stuff is accurate before I can put it in, so I guess I’m detail-orientated). The only direct route was with British Airways, and First Class was ‘price on application’. I kid you not. Guess I won’t be doing that anytime soon!


	5. Welcome home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kicked my arse in the writing; I’m not entirely sure why. I knew exactly what I wanted to happen but the words didn’t want to come. It’s shorter than some of the other chapters, but it’s the length it needs to be.
> 
> Thank you to my betas Octoberland and evieeden. They are both awesome authors that you should check out on FanFiction.net. Also, congrats to Octoberland, whose story ‘Resurrection’ has been nominated for an Indie Twific award.
> 
> This chapter sees the introduction of this thing called a plot. Don’t worry, I have constructed it to ensure maximum lemons.

Welcome Home

“Hi, Dad.” I managed a smile, which I hoped looked contrite. I edged inside past Charlie, my hands jammed in the pockets of my hoodie. There wasn’t enough room to shut the door behind me unless he moved out of the way, and he didn’t appear to have any intention of doing that.

“You’ve been gone for five days and the best you can come up with is ‘Hi, Dad’?” The volume of his voice crept up with each word and the flush I’d inherited from him spread over his face, turning his skin a flattering shade of puce.

“I’m really sorry, Char – Dad. I know Esme told you what happened in L.A. When Alice turned up, I had to go – ”

“And you couldn’t call me? Even when Edward was awake, you didn’t think to phone and let me know where the hell you were?”

I could do nothing but chew on my lower lip. I certainly couldn’t answer his questions.  _Well, Charlie, I was actually in Italy, stopping my vampire boyfriend from committing suicide. Then we had sex. Lots of sex._

“Jesus, Bells, you were always such a responsible kid, but whenever Edward Cullen comes into the picture you act like a completely different person.”

“This isn’t his fault!”  _It’s mine, for jumping off a cliff and making his psychic sister think I’d killed myself._

Charlie gave me a level look, which didn’t work too well with the blazing color of his face, and I knew that despite Edward’s ‘brush with death’ Charlie wasn’t ready to forgive him for leaving.

“Are you two back together?”

“Yes,” I said defiantly.

He sighed heavily. “You know you’re grounded, right?”

I expected nothing less. “For how long?” I tried not to sound too petulant.

“Until I say otherwise.”

I nodded and stood there shuffling my feet back and forth while the awkwardness built up. Charlie had never had occasion to discipline me before, and no doubt Esme’s visit had taken the wind out of his sails. He opened his mouth a few times to speak, thought better of it, and shut it again. I glanced at the clock – Charlie probably hadn’t eaten yet, which wouldn’t help his mood.

“Do you want me to make dinner?”

“There’s no food in. I’ve been a little too  _busy_  to go grocery shopping,” he said pointedly. “But we can go to the diner.”

It was the last thing I wanted to do when Edward was waiting for me upstairs, but I could hardly argue. I spun on my heel and trudged back down the steps, but instead of heading for the cruiser I made a beeline for my truck. Being alone with a still-fuming Charlie would not make for a pleasant ride.

Sitting in the cabin of my truck gave me a chance to take a deep breath and calm myself. Charlie had the right to be angry, and it wasn’t like I wouldn’t be seeing a whole lot of Edward anyway, with or without his knowledge. I gripped the steering wheel and the flash of light on diamond caught my attention.

Crap, crap, crap. I’d gone in there wearing my engagement ring when I had absolutely no intention if letting Charlie know about  _that_  situation. I doubted he’d spotted it, mainly because I’d had my hands hidden for the whole conversation, but that was a close call. I shimmied the ring off and stashed it safely away in my pocket.

When we reached the diner, Charlie’s mood had turned more pensive. We only spoke to recite our usual orders to the waitress. While we ate, Charlie did the open-and-closing-his-mouth-like-a-goldfish thing again. He waited for me to finish my burger before finally broaching whatever it was that was on his mind.

“I don’t like it that you’re back with Cullen, but I suppose I’m going to have to tolerate it. What I like even less is the way you’ve hurt Jacob.”

My heart twisted in my chest. It was the first time I’d thought of Jake since setting out for Italy. I’d been utterly consumed with thoughts of Edward, and then later with the real thing.

Charlie continued. “He’s been a good friend to you, Bells. He’s stuck by you and he’s good for you in a way Cullen isn’t.”

“Dad, I never saw Jake as anything more than a friend.” It wasn’t strictly true, but I wasn’t about to start delving into that now. “He knows that.”

“He looked like someone had kicked his puppy when you ran off. I don’t know why you can’t give him a chance.”

I threw down the fry I’d been picking apart. “Dad, I see Jake as a friend and only as a friend. I love Edward. I’m with Edward, and both of you are going to have to get used to that.”

The vein in Charlie’s forehead started pulsing dangerously. He stopped grinding his teeth long enough to speak.

“Edward isn’t the only  _friend_  of yours that’s been in the hospital recently, and he’s certainly not the only one that would have been cheered up if you’d been at his bedside.”

“What?” The blood in my veins froze. “Wh – who?” But I already knew the answer – it was what he’d been trying to tell me since I got home.

“Jacob had an accident as well, the day after you left. He got attacked by whatever’s in the woods and he’s only just left the clinic on the res. I thought it might interest you, in passing.”

“That’s not fair!” I muttered, my words barely escaping, my throat tight with impending tears. I was on the edge of hyperventilating because I knew what was in the woods – and I knew the wolves had fought Victoria on the day Jake was injured. “You know I care about Jake.”

Charlie visibly softened. “He’s back at home now, but he’ll be recovering for a few weeks.”

“Can I go see him?”

“When?”

“Tonight,” I pleaded.

He deliberated for a moment, but this was about Jacob. “Fine, you can go. But you come straight back from La Push – don’t you think you can use this as an excuse to go see Cullen – and you’d better be home before ten.”

I was out of my seat and heading for the door before he’d finished speaking, mumbling my agreement over my shoulder. I ran to the truck and when it was on the road I pushed it to its limit, wishing for the first time that I had a faster vehicle.

My hands shook as I drove and guilt coursed through me in rhythmic surges, like waves beating against the shore. I knew exactly what had happened to Jake, and this was all my fault. He’d been injured in the fight with Victoria. She was only here for me and Jake had put himself in harm’s way to protect me.

Was he the only one? Had anyone else been hurt protecting me? The Chevy’s engine grumbled as I tried to push it to faster speeds.

Despite what Charlie had been told, was Jake going to be okay?

I was still shaking as I pulled up outside the little red house, still carrying that sense of disconnection I’d felt in the airport. I’d been here not one week ago, and yet it felt like a completely different lifetime. Everything had changed: I was healed emotionally, but my best friend had earned new wounds in my place, and I hadn’t thought of him at all while I was gone.

For the second time today the door opened before I could reach for it and a foreboding figure stood on the other side. This time it was Sam, his expression somber. If he was surprised to see me, it didn’t show, though his nose wrinkled for a second, and he stood aside to let me pass without a word.

Jacob lay dozing on the couch, his body dominating the tiny living space, covered with a threadbare patchwork quilt that barely stretched from his chest to his knees. He looked far from peaceful, and the familiar warmth of his skin was bleached out, with even his lips a washed-out pink.

Billy sat across the room and his eyes flashed to me, black and accusing. “You’re back.”

“How is he?” I asked, keeping my voice down so as not to wake Jake.

“He’s healing,” Billy replied curtly.

Sam continued where Billy seemed reluctant to. “He’s in better shape than the red-headed bloodsucker.”

“Victoria’s really dead?” I couldn’t help the surge of hope inside me at that thought. Sam shot me a surprised look.

“You know? How?”

“Alice saw it. Or she thinks she saw it – she has trouble with visions that involve the pack.” I didn’t miss Sam’s flash of interest and triumph at this information.

“So what Jacob said was true – you’ve been with the Cullens?”

I bristled at the clear disapproval in his voice. “Yes, I have. They’re moving back to Forks.”

The look of anger that spilled from Sam made me instinctively step back, remembering how small the space we stood in was, and the marks left on Emily’s face when Sam lost his temper.

“Bella?” a croaky voice said from behind Sam, and that was all it took to control both my shaking, and Sam’s. We turned to look at Jake, who was now blinking awake.

I stumbled across the floor to him, tears blurring my vision, and knelt beside the couch. He reached out to hug me then shrank back in pain when he tried to lift his arm. The blanket slipped, revealing a patchwork of bandages across his torso.

“God, Jake, what happened to you?”

“I’m alright. You should see the other guy.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I tore her head clean off.”

I gave a strangled gasp at his attempt at a joke. “It’s not funny, Jake! What did she  _do_  to you?”

His gaze turned serious, imploring me to be calm. “It’s fine Bella, just a scratch.”

“Then why aren’t you healed yet?” I demanded, and when he wouldn’t meet my eyes I looked to Sam instead.

“Victoria caught Jacob with her nails when he went in for the kill. It was a deep wound, but you’re right, he should have healed within hours. Instead he’s healing at human pace.”

“Why?”

“We don’t know,” he admitted. “Vampire venom is fatal to us, but there was no venom under her nails. The important thing is that he  _is_  healing.”

I turned back to Jake and he’d forced the smile back onto his face. It just enhanced the bloodless color of his lips.

“Lighten up, Bella. I killed her. I’m your hero – shouldn’t I get a kiss or something?”

I rolled my eyes and leaned in for a proper hug instead. “Don’t push your luck.”

Jacob stiffened under me and I caught sight of his nostrils flaring, just like Sam’s had when I entered. A fine trembling began in his limbs and a look of revulsion settled on his face. I rocked back on my heels in shock.

“Jake, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he hissed. “It’s you we should be worried about.”

“What?”

“You smell like him. He’s all over you.” The disgust he wore was etched into his features and clear in his voice, but I didn’t miss the flash of hurt that passed through his eyes. His next words came out as barely more than a whisper. “You’ve been with him.”

“Jake, you knew I was going to find him – ”

“No, I mean you’ve  _been_  with him. It’s all over you. God, you  _reek_.” He pulled as far away from me as he could and I shuffled back a few feet on my butt. Mortification burned in my cheeks and I very deliberately didn’t look at either Billy or Sam. If Jake could smell it, Sam could as well.

“We’re back together now,” I said softly. “I’m sorry.”

His jaw tightened. “How could you stand to be with him?” Suddenly his words took on a heated force that I’d never known in Jacob. “He’s a filthy bloodsucker – he’s no better than the one we killed – and you let him touch you!”

“Jake, he’s not like that – ”

“They’re all like that! He’s a cold, parasitic monster; how could you bear to have his hands on you?”

I was trembling as badly as Jake and tears flowed down my cheeks in hot rivers. This wasn’t the Jake I knew – the friendly, easygoing guy. Where had this anger come from?

“How can you say these things? You know how I feel about Edward.” Jake snarled at the sound of his name. “I feel  _whole_  now I’m with him again.”

“Then I don’t understand you.” He turned his face away from me.

“Jake – ”

“I think you should leave,” Billy cut in.

“No, I – ”

“Just go,” Jake ground out between clenched teeth.

I shot a bewildered glance at Sam, who stared back at me stonily; I daren’t even look in Billy’s direction. I rose on shaky legs and started for the door.

“If you need anything…” I mumbled, but I didn’t get a response.

I probably should have waited before driving, because it was hard to focus on the road when I was crying this hard. I didn’t understand how Jacob, my best friend and the boy I thought of as my own personal sun, could be so cruel.

Something hit the side of the truck and I screamed, hitting the brakes and coming to a dead stop in the middle of the road. The passenger door opened, and Edward threw himself into the seat, his eyes wide and wild, everything about him fierce. His expression mellowed at my shattered state.

“Bella, Bella, are you okay, love?” His fingers were on my face, wiping at the tears, and he scooted over so we were pressed tightly together. I nodded and opened my mouth to reply, but a fresh torrent of tears swallowed my words. He pulled me to him and I rode out my sobs into his chest.

Eventually I was spent and my breathing calmed, helped along by his sweet scent. Though his body was so hard against mine, it was comforting to be held like this. I couldn’t remember Edward ever holding me when I cried – but then, most of my tears had come after he left.

“Bella,” he said, stroking my hair, “what happened?”

“I went to see Jake.” I whispered, my words gusting along the skin of his neck where my face was burrowed. He knew about my friendship with Jacob, from when I’d told him the story of his absence from Forks over dinner in Florence. “He was injured in the fight with Victoria.”

He tensed. “Is she dead?”

“Yes. Jacob ripped her head off.” I shuddered, the macabre image of Victoria’s decapitated head surfacing in my imagination, red locks spilling around a face contorted into a scream. Edward, however, relaxed.

“Will Jacob live?”

“Yes.”

“Then, why the tears, love?”

I briefly recapped what had just happened, stroking circles on Edward’s chest to keep him grounded in the here and now. I could tell from his growls and the fists that kept clenching and unclenching that he was ready to go cause more harm to Jacob, treaty be damned. We sat in silence for a while after I’d finished my tale, with him rubbing my back and brushing feather light kisses on my forehead. It was lucky this was a quiet road – so far, no other vehicles had gone past.

“Why are you here?” I asked him.

“I waited for you to come home from the diner for ages. I was so anxious at being away from you for any length of time; you have no idea. Then two things happened at once: Charlie returned without you, and Alice rang me to say your future had disappeared. Luckily, Charlie was thinking about you going to visit Jake – otherwise I don’t think my sanity would have held. I came straight here, and I’ve been waiting on the boundary line for you.”

“I’m glad you did. I don’t think I’d have made it home.”

He growled, unhappy at the thought. I glanced at my watch; I had no idea how long we’d been sat here.

“Crap!”

“Hmm?”

“I promised Charlie I’d be home by ten and I’ve now got five minutes to make a twenty minute journey.”

“It would be possible if you had an engine that could produce speeds over fifty miles an hour.”

I glared at him.

“Besides, I think it’s going to be very obvious to Charlie that you’ve been crying. Just explain that it wasn’t safe for you to drive until you’d pulled yourself together.” He reached for the ignition and moved to shift me over to the passenger seat.

“Woah, what are you doing?”

“I’m driving you home.”

“No, you’re not – you can’t. You’re not allowed to drive, remember?”

“Don’t be absurd – that’s a story!”

“Yeah, but when we get to Charlie’s he’s going to get suspicious when I’m not the one driving. Since I’ll be home after curfew, he’ll definitely be watching out.”

Edward’s nostrils flared in annoyance but he didn’t answer.

“That means you can’t be in the truck at all, you know.”

He sighed. “I’ll run alongside through the forest, just to make sure you get home safe. I’ll be waiting for you.” He gave me one last soft kiss and jumped from the cabin, propelling himself into the tree-line.

I didn’t bother pushing the truck this time, since I’d already done it once tonight. I was going to be late home, so Charlie would be pissed whether it was by five minutes or fifteen.

Charlie was waiting for me; I could see his shadow in the window, lit by the flickering of the television. I steeled myself for the inevitable argument – it was now twenty past ten – and headed inside.

He was waiting in the hall, arms folded again, but his head of steam evaporated when he caught sight of my tear-stained face. I was probably a blotchy, puffy mess.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, uncomfortable in case I actually took him up on his offer.

“No,” I mumbled. “I’m going to bed.”

“Alright,” he sighed, shuffling back into the living room, and I went upstairs.

Edward was sat in his old space, the rocking chair, and for a moment I was shaken by the surrealism of the situation. He’d been gone for months, and yet he looked like he’d never left at all; he, and the room around him, appeared exactly the same. My bedroom was suddenly a place I wanted to be in again after months of it being a repository for bitter memories.

However, his utter stillness didn’t distract from the fact that he was obviously tense. On his lap were an assortment of objects – the jewel case of a CD, and a few pieces of paper. I crossed the room to examine what he held.

“This CD,” I whispered. “It’s…”

“The one I made for you,” he finished.

“For my birthday. Where did you get it from?”

“It’s been here all the time,” he said, his expression poignant. “In an act of grand foolishness I left it here with you, under the floorboards, despite my promises to make it seem like I had never existed.”

“Why would you do that?”

“I left it as a reminder of my love for you.”

“But I didn’t know it was here.”

“I know – foolishness, remember? I hoped that maybe you would sense these things near you when I was gone, even if I didn’t want you to find them.”

“That’s almost as crazy as taking up cliff-diving so I could hear your voice.” Edward didn’t appreciate the joke – his jaw snapped shut and he ground his teeth down. I reached for the other things he held, hoping to distract him before his mood darkened further.

The pieces of paper turned out to be an envelope, another relic from my fated birthday, and I didn’t need to open it to know it contained the tickets to Jacksonville that Carlisle and Esme had bought for me. The other was the photo of me and Edward together, just before he left. That, I handed back to him – his intentions were now clear to me when I looked at his face in the photo, and it was too painful a reminder.

The door slammed shut below us and I jumped, breaking away from Edward’s intense gaze. “Was that Charlie?” I ran to the window in time to watch the cruiser speed off down the street. “Where’s he going at this time of night?”

Edward joined me, standing behind me so his body pressed into mine and his arms stretched out on either side of me, his palms flat on the windowsill.

“He’s going to La Push, to find out from Billy why you were so upset.” He spoke directly into the soft skin on the back of my neck.

“Great,  _that’s_  going to go down really well.”

I attempted to back away from the window, but Edward stayed stock-still, effectively trapping me in place.

“Are you okay now, love?”

Truth be told, I felt drained. It had been a long day, stretched out by crossing time zones, and I hadn’t properly slept in over twenty-four hours. The argument with Jake had not come at a good time.

“It’s just,” I paused and sighed. “He’s my best friend. It hurts that he’s upset with me.”

Edward turned me round to face him, bending his head so he was staring straight into my eyes.

“Bella, you have no idea how worried I was when I couldn’t come to you, knowing you were with volatile young werewolves. You have to promise me that you’ll stay away from them from now on. It’s too dangerous and I can’t stand not being near where you are.”

Before today I’d have argued with him. I’d have pointed out that the wolves were my friends and I had the right to hang out with whoever I wanted to. But after this evening, and the twin looks of hostility from Billy and Sam, and the vicious words from Jake…I didn’t know if they were my friends anymore. If they knew that I wanted to become like Edward – well, they couldn’t find out.

So it was an easy promise to make to Edward.

“I don’t think I’m welcome in La Push anyway.” The words hurt to say, when I considered that it had been more of a home to me during my separation from Edward than the house I stood in now. It had seen the only laughs I’d produced since my birthday. “And I definitely need to give Jake some space.”

“Please, Bella,” he pleaded, eyes wide and beseeching. “Promise me.”

“I promise that I won’t go down to La Push, and I’m not going to contact any of them either. But if Jacob wants to speak to me – in Forks – then I will.”

Edward tried the dazzling thing then, gazing at me with irises of softest butterscotch, but this was a boundary I had to set. No matter how much he whispered  _“Bella”_  and kissed me gently, I wouldn’t budge because I owed it to the only person I’d been able to rely on for the past few months.

His kisses turned more demanding and with me still in the cage of his arms he walked us until the backs of my knees hit the bed, and I fell sprawling onto it. He landed with me, his hips between my thighs and his torso just above mine, while he set about grazing kisses along my jaw line. I tugged at his t-shirt and he removed it swiftly, ripping my own off me.

I sucked in a breath at the sound of the tearing cloth. It made me more needy pushing up against him to get the room to pull my jeans down, until I was only in my bra and panties.

He got to his feet, his jeans gone from his body in a blur of indigo, and he was as naked underneath as he had been on the plane. I scooted backwards so I could lay my head down on the pillows and reached behind me to unhook my bra, but he was already there, pulling my hands away. I was naked from the waist up and his fingers cupped my breasts.

Our lips met again, his tongue thrusting eagerly into my mouth, with my teeth catching and scraping along his lower lip. He pushed me down flat against the mattress and pressed himself completely against me, quelling my movement. I had to make do with gripping onto his back, my fingers sliding along the smooth and impermeable skin there, enjoying the feel of muscles cording and releasing under my touch.

His arousal lay against my thigh, pressing almost hard enough to leave a bruise, and there was already wetness collecting on my skin at the tip. Only the thin cotton layer of my panties lay between us and when his lips left mine, I panted his name rather than taking the chance to catch my breath.

“Inside me,” I moaned.

“You’re not…prepared,” he grunted as he ripped my panties away, and ghosted his fingers over my hip, down to my wet skin.

“Don’t care.  _Now_ , Edward.”

He rose above me, wrapping my legs around his hips, and then he was in me. Both of us hissed at the sensation, him stretching me and me tight around him. He burrowed his face into the crook of my neck and began pounding a staccato rhythm, one I couldn’t comprehend or match. There was an undercurrent to all of this that I couldn’t name, but could almost taste, something familiar.

Edward inside me felt wonderful, but real pleasure lay just out of my grasp with the way we were moving right now. “Edward,” I hummed.

He lifted his head and cut me off with a kiss. When I re-opened my eyes, I saw the emotion burning in his, and could suddenly name that undercurrent: desperation.

“Bella, what would I do if I lost you?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I insisted, trying once again to meet his hips and failing to catch the rhythm.

“You can’t ever leave me.” His voice was gritty and plaintive. “Not now I’ve got you back. You have to stay safe.”

His gaze burned into me until I couldn’t remember to blink or breathe. At this moment I would promise him the earth, just to get that lost expression wiped from his face. It didn’t sit right, and there was no reason for it to be there.

I had to flinch away from the intensity of his stare, which left rivulets of molten amber running through me, blending in with my blood. Instead, I licked a path up his jaw until I reached his ear. I bit down on the lobe, doing so gently only for the sake of my teeth, not his unyielding flesh. He snarled and flexed his hips into me with more force.

“I’m exactly where I want to be,” I promised.

This seemed to be good enough for him. He rose to his knees, lifting me so my lower back arched off the bed, and bowed his body down to kiss at the soft skin of my breasts. His long fingers fanned out around my hips, supporting me, and the new angle pushed him just that little bit deeper. Now he was thrusting where I wanted him to be.

As soon he was happy that I was comfortable like this, reading my moans and whimpers to determine my pleasure, he let loose pistoning into me with a speed I hadn’t known was possible. He’d been fast before, but this was something else entirely, and I had to turn my head away because watching him move made me dizzy.

My pleasure spilled over me twice before he twisted my face back to meet his, his golden eyes just inches from mine, and still he moved at that superhuman pace. The desperation still lingered around him, and all I could do was let my desire and adoration shine out to him. I surrendered again, diving headfirst into a pool of amber that submerged me, flooding through every pathway in my body and sweeping away anything that wasn’t the purest, sweetest pleasure. I was distantly aware, outside of my haze that his movements had ceased, and I could feel the coolness inside that meant he’d reached his own pleasure. I opened my eyes to look at him and in that moment he was the definition of ecstasy. His perfect white skin and burnished crown of hair, and the twist of his features made him look like an angel experiencing a moment of extreme rapture. It knocked the breath out of me to see him in this way.

When he opened his eyes I was relieved to note that the desperation was all gone, replaced with lazy satiation. He relaxed his body to cover me completely again, his weight resting almost imperceptibly on his hands. He kissed me long and deep, building up from mere brushes of lips to him thoroughly tasting me, exploring my mouth with long, sensual sweeps of his tongue. When he hardened inside me again, he withdrew rather than rocking his hips into mine, and he pulled our kisses back to gentle grazes of lips on lips. I couldn’t control the yawns escaping me and that was enough for him to pull away from me altogether.

“Bedtime for the human,” he whispered.

“I’m already in bed.”

“Sleep-time for the human, then,” he said as he rearranged the blankets around me. “Everything else can wait until the morning.”

I drifted off in his embrace and my last thought was of how right it was to finally have Edward back in my bed. I didn’t even hear Charlie come back in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We apologise for interrupting your regular broadcast of fluff. Normal service will resume shortly.
> 
> No, really, I swear it’s not all going to be uber-angst from now on.


	6. Gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my betas Octoberland and evieeden. You can thank Octoberland for getting two lemons, since I was going to cockblock you all on the second one and she forbade it.
> 
> And so, without further ado:

Gifts

I woke bundled up in my blanket, pressed up against a firm body but not skin to skin. After I’d blinked the sleep away, I pouted at Edward.

“What’s the meaning of this?” I said, sweeping my hand down to indicate the fabric which had clearly been wrapped around me and tucked in neatly.

“You can’t sleep against me without something to keep you warm,” he replied quietly, his face pressed into my hair. “Besides, I noticed in Italy that you don’t find me particularly comfortable to lie against.”

“The second thing I’ll have to deal with, but the first we need to find a way around. I like feeling your skin. There has to be a way of keeping me warm.”

He nodded absently, twining our fingers together, lifting my left hand up. “What’s the meaning of  _this_?” he countered, stroking my empty ring finger. He sounded – hurt?

It took me a moment to remember the thousands of dollars worth of diamond that still languished in my pocket, somewhere on the floor of my room.

“I can’t wear it around Charlie.”

“Why not?” He was very, very still beside me.

I wriggled around to face him properly. “Because he doesn’t know we’re engaged, and he’s not  _going_ to know, at least for a while.”

I was right, it  _was_  hurt. It flashed across his face, quickly replaced by perfect blankness. “You don’t want to tell him?” he asked.

“Edward, I can’t. My parents both have very strong negative views on early marriage. Plus, I just disappeared for nearly a week after living like a zombie for months. If I tell Charlie we’re getting married he will hit the roof. You’ve got to work on regaining his trust before we have any hope that he’ll believe that us getting married is a good idea.”

He was quiet for a moment, his eyes unfocussed. “I saw it, last night,” he murmured, tiny creases appearing on his brow as he frowned. “I saw what you’ve been like. He kept thinking about how you were when I was…away. You telling me what it was like was nothing compared to seeing it – ” He flinched and stopped talking.

I curled my hand around his and brought it to rest on my cheek.

“That’s why you’re going to have to prove yourself to him. I might be ready to forgive you, but that’s only because I don’t really have a choice. I  _have_  to be with you or live out the rest of my life practically comatose. I don’t want to live without you. Charlie, on the other hand, is going to hold it against you, because he can.”

“As he should.” Edward sounded weary. “I’ll think about ways to prove myself to him.”

“I think the best thing is just being here, proving that you want to be with me.”

“And marrying you doesn’t do that?”

“Not in his eyes, no. He knows all too well how likely divorce is.”

“Divorce isn’t an option. This is forever – not flippant declarations, but actual eternity.”

“I know that, but we can hardly explain it to him that way. In his eyes us getting married any time soon will just mean we’re doomed to become a statistic.”

“Hmm.” He was quiet again, staring off at something I couldn’t see. I took the opportunity to snuggle in closer, breathing in his scent. It was the most comforting thing in the world and fairly soon my sheets would be back to smelling like Edward all the time. That made me happy.

It suddenly hit me that the last time I’d showered had been the morning we left Italy. I couldn’t get out of bed fast enough.

“Where are you going?” he asked, perturbed by the sudden distance between us.

“Shower. You need to stay put.”

I returned squeaky clean and already dressed, knowing I couldn’t afford to get distracted if I was going to avoid being late for school.

He was waiting on the bed, disappointingly clothed, turning something small over in his hands.

“Alice has just been by,” he said as I brushed out my wet hair. “She’s not going to be at school today – it’ll be a few days before our re-enrollment is finalized.” My heart sank at that blow. I’d been counting on her help to fend off other peoples’ attention. Once again I was inevitably going to be the source of gossip, the vultures descending to pick at the carrion of my relationship with Edward.

“She dropped this off as well.” He held up the charm and I stepped closer to view it. It was a small glass heart, faceted like a diamond. “Since you won’t be able to wear the ring very often, I wanted you to have something else to wear, something that people won’t question.”

I took it from him. It was curiously heavy in my hand, cold from the lack of body heat, and shimmered faintly where the light caught it. The facets sent rainbows dancing over Edward’s skin.

“It’s pretty.”

“It was my mother’s. I want you to have it.”

“I couldn’t – ” I began to protest, but he gently covered my mouth with his hand.

“It’s a gift and it would mean a lot to me for you to have it. It’s something of a family heirloom and it’s the closest thing to a real heart that I can give you. Like I said, you can wear it all the time and no one will think anything of it. It’ll make me feel close to you, knowing this is against your skin when I can’t be near you.”

“Okay.” I hugged him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “You know I don’t believe that about your heart any more than I do about your soul.” I leaned to kiss above his heart too. “And you’re getting it back when I can wear the ring permanently.”

Neither of us wanted to draw away, but the clock ticked down to the very last minute I could leave without getting a tardy slip. I found a long chain before I left and hung the heart round my neck, where it dipped below the neckline of my shirt and settled against my breasts. I was conscious of it, close to my own heart, as I bid Edward a hesitant goodbye and left the ring with him for safe-keeping.

 *******

School was nothing short of horrendous. If it wasn’t bad enough being separated from Edward, I was constantly reminded of him by the whispers around me.

“Hey, Bella,” Mike greeted me as I traipsed into homeroom. “I hear Cullen’s back.” The way he said ‘Cullen’ got my hackles up, but I smothered the instinct to glare at him. He seemed to take my grimace as confirmation.

“Yeah, I heard he was in this horrific car crash and he was in a coma for, like, a month,” Jessica chimed in.

“It was a couple of days,” I corrected. How on earth had everybody heard the story so soon? Forks was a small town, but no-one was supposed to have heard it yet besides me, Charlie and the Cullens themselves. “He’s going to be fine.”

“So, are you two, like…” Jessica trailed off, realizing that maybe she’d put her foot in it.

“If you’re asking if we’re back together, then yes, we are.”

Mike’s entire posture drooped at the news and Jessica continued to press me for the gory details until the bell rang and I could escape.

Apparently my sudden change in attitude was turning heads as much as the news of the Cullens’ return. I didn’t realize how differently I was acting until I got into English. I was sat with Angela, who I’d seen over the course of the day but hadn’t yet spoken to. Interestingly, I no longer felt waves of nausea as I watched her say a gooey goodbye to Ben at the classroom door.

“I heard Edward’s back in Forks,” she began tentatively as we sat down. I nodded, and she smiled. “You can tell, you know. You’re different, not so closed in on yourself. Before spring break you were kind of…broken…and now you’re like the old Bella.”

I fidgeted with the cuff of my sleeve; she was startlingly perceptive. “I feel whole around him.”

“It’s good to have you back.” She didn’t press for details of the accident or our reunion, and we easily moved onto talking about the trip she’d taken with her family to Vancouver over spring break.

Lessons, on the whole, just gave me more free time to miss him, and brood over how things had been left with Jacob. Every time I thought about that it felt like someone had dowsed me in ice water. The few times I’d dared to imagine Edward returning to Forks, I’d never thought what that would mean for the wolves, or for my friendship with Jake. Edward was my life, but Jake was still my sun, and I needed as much of that as I could get in Forks. No matter which way I looked at it, I couldn’t see a future where it could all be reconciled.

Lunch was the hardest. I walked into the cafeteria and the first thing I saw was the Cullens’ empty table, which had never been claimed by anyone else. For a moment, it was like any other day from the past few months, walking into a room that Edward wasn’t in, and never would be in again.

 _He’s not here. He left you._

The wound in my chest throbbed, seemingly filling my lungs with ice, and I had to push past the pain to breathe in.

What if it was all a dream? What if I’d finally gone completely mad and hallucinated Italy? What if I was still all alone, and would surface from my delusions occasionally only to remember that Edward  _didn’t_ love me,  _didn’t_ want me, and the table in the corner would remain empty until the memory of the Cullens had long faded from Forks High School.

The weight on my chest was cool, pushing down against my constricted lungs. I reached up to claw it away and closed my fingers around the glass of the pendant, remembering what it was at the contact. Edward’s heart. He’d given it to me, to be close even when I wasn’t near him.

I calmed down, but not before several people – including Jessica and Lauren – had witnessed my near freak-out and started whispering again.

By the time the last bell rang I was ready to be gone. I’d even been contemplating cutting my last class, and only the knowledge that I was already grounded kept me hanging around. For the second time in twenty-four hours, I pushed the truck to its maximum speed and briefly toyed with the idea of asking Edward for a new car. Then I felt guilty for the rest of the journey, being especially gentle with it.

Charlie was waiting for me when I got home and so, surprisingly, was Alice.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered while Charlie was in the kitchen.

“Edward’s feeling much better,” she replied at a normal volume, treading the line between concern and chirpiness with aplomb. “He’d like to see you, so I came to bargain with Charlie for your freedom.”

“I can’t go, Alice. I’m grounded – and I deserve it.”

Charlie stuck his head round the door jam. “I already agreed that you could go.” I stared at him, dumbfounded. “Well, you’re only going to mope around here if you can’t go and it’s not like he can get you into any trouble since he’s bedridden and all.”

“I should at least cook us dinner before I go…” I was trying very hard not to think about Edward in a bed.

“It’s alright, Esme sent something over.”

“She feels awfully guilty over what happened,” Alice explained. “Since she didn’t realize we hadn’t told Charlie where you’d gone. I’m grounded as well, but I was allowed to come and get you, so I could apologize to him.”

It was lucky we were relying on Alice’s acting skills and not mine. We were on the road in ten minutes, after Alice had finished working her magic on Charlie. His parting words were to repeat my 10 p.m. curfew.

“He’s very anxious to see you,” she said, referencing Edward as we drove out of town and deeper into the forest towards the Cullen house. The whole car carried his scent, and I relaxed into the seats.

“Me too.”

“He hunted today, and the rest of us are going hunting after you get there. You know, so you two can be alone.”

“Subtle, Alice, subtle.” Would talking about this stuff always make me blush so hard?

“But we won’t be gone all night, so don’t let him get carried away. Everyone wants to spend some time with you. We’ve all missed you, you know.”

“Thanks. I’ve missed everyone too.”

Out of the verdancy of the forest the Cullen house suddenly appeared white in front of us. When Alice parked up, I climbed out of the Volvo on shaky legs, staring at the looming structure like it was a ghost.

In a way it was. For months it had been the last tangible reminder of the Cullens’ presence in Forks, one that I’d avoided even the memory of. The last time I’d been here, events had tipped from wonderful to catastrophic in an instant, plunging me into months of misery. Who could be blamed for being wary of it?

Cold arms encircled my waist as metal encircled my ring finger. I yipped, and Edward’s familiar chuckle sounded in my ear.

“Relax, love, it’s only me.”

“Could you not wait until she was inside?” Alice asked with a tinge of exasperation.

“Go hunt,” he growled.

She glared back at him. “7 p.m. We’ll be back, and don’t for a second think you’ll be monopolizing her time – we have serious wedding planning to do. Ciao, Bella!” With that, she spun on her heel and disappeared into the tree line.

I caught a flash of blonde at the point she vanished – Jasper.

“Is it still really hard for Jasper to be near me?”

“No. It’s hard for Jasper to be near  _me_ ,” Edward murmured, his voice muffled by the skin of my neck, which he was nuzzling.

“Why?”

“I’ll show you why.” I was airborne, my feet swept out from under me, and a moment later I was righted. We were in the living room, at the foot of the stairs, up against the wall.

The kiss started out tender, but within moments his hands were roaming under my shirt, trailing cool, tingling paths across my skin. That low-level current between us hummed in contentment. It was this that I missed when I was away from him; this which I had missed during the months he was gone; this that made me feel less than alive when he wasn’t near me.

There was a sense of familiarity to all of this; me, pressed up against a wall while we gave into our mutual desperation. It had only been eight hours, but the effect of our separation was a tangible thing. His clothes came off first, so quickly that I didn’t notice until my eyes fluttered open as he trailed kisses over my jaw to find him naked before me. As soon as he had my attention he unbuttoned my shirt, dropping to his knees to kiss the skin he exposed with each button. However, rather than removing it completely, he left it open and framing my torso.

My jeans came off next, down my hips and on the floor in moments. Edward leant in close to my panties, taking a deep breath and letting it out again in a rolling purr. The eyes that stared up at me were tar black and if it weren’t for the absence of dark circles beneath them, I’d have never known that he’d fed.

Rather than standing up he pulled me down to him, and for a moment I was awkwardly balanced, one knee on the bottom stair and the other not quite reaching the floor, leaving me sprawled across his lap. He shifted, lifting me off of him and setting me on the stairs instead, kneeling between my spread legs.

We ground together, his hardness pressing exactly where I wanted him, the languor of our kiss not matching our frantic movements below the waist.

“One moment,” he whispered, disappearing across the living room and returning in a flash of white with one of the cushions from the couch clutched to his chest. “Lean forward,” he requested between hungry kisses, and I obeyed willingly because it pressed me against his skin. Every part of me thrummed with happiness at the increased contact. He slipped the cushion behind me, between my back and the solid wood of the staircase. Somehow my panties came off at the same time, tossed carelessly onto the pale floor. I reclined into the cool satin as his fingers moved south.

There was absolutely nothing tentative about his touch.

He pushed two fingers inside me and rather than stroking them in and out, he kept them tight together and circled round, touching every inch of me in a corkscrew dance. I panted his name and tried, once again, to dig my nails into his skin.

“Ready?” he asked, as I floated on the edge, and before I’d even finished my single, sharp nod, he was in me. The angle was strange like this and I shifted my hips up. He wasted no time finding a quick rhythm and I was thankful for the cushion – he was doing little short of pounding me into the stairs.

There was no time for words – he was utterly focused on seeking release for both of us, his fingers trailing to the place above where we were joined, and when I gave myself over to the bright pleasure, he followed quickly behind.

The cushion helped even more when he collapsed onto me, his weight pressing me into the stairs, one arm taut around my waist and keeping me tight against him. His face rested against my shoulder, soft breaths gusting over my skin and causing shivers.

For once, I wasn’t feeling that odd, weightless feeling that followed us being together. Everything still shone in a pleasant haze around me, but my blood and adrenaline still flowed, pumping through my body insistently. I wanted more.

Instead of obliging, when he came to his senses Edward pulled me to my feet, retrieving my panties and jeans. He was back in his jeans, much to my dismay.

“So, that was why Jasper has to stay away from you at the moment?” I asked my voice low and gentle.

I pulled the panties on but left the jeans off, to demonstrate my willingness to him. His gaze kept flicking to my chest, where my shirt still lay unbuttoned, and the blackness in his eyes was very much evident.

“He’s going to need to be far away when I’m near you, or thinking about you. The urge to…mate…is so strong in me now – it’s instinctual for me to be physically connected to you, but until you are changed I have to hold back. My family is impressed with my restraint. Newly-mated vampires can usually focus on little other than their mate, except for blood, for a long time. You have other priorities.”

“How long is a long time?”

“A decade, give or take a few years.”

“A decade?” He’d begun leading me up the stairs, but I stopped short at this revelation. “You mean I’m going to feel complete desperation for ten years?” I tried to calm the rising shrillness in my voice.

“Is that how you feel?” he asked, his forehead suddenly against mine, the weight of his stare burning into me. There was softness and joy in his expression. “Desperation? You feel it too?”

“Of course I do.”

He sighed, content. “I want to be sure that you want this too. I don’t want you to go along with this just because I want it. I  _burn_  without you, and I never want you to feel that my desire is a burden.”

“Always so earnest.” I stroked the hair back from his forehead. “Believe me, if I didn’t want to do anything, you’d know. And I know that you’d listen to me. Everything we’ve done, I’ve wanted to do – I’ve enjoyed it more than I thought was possible. If this gets even better after I’ve changed, then I can’t wait for that to happen.”

His expression hardened for a moment, before he swooped me up, setting me on my feet outside his room. “Well, it’s good news that you’re so willing. There’s a Cadbury’s shipment due to arrive before the weekend. I believe you made certain promises.”

“I did, did I?”

“Oh, yes. And you know I was brought up to believe that you should never, ever break a promise.”

“If you fulfill your half of the bargain, I’ll fulfill mine.”

The smile he gave me was positively devilish. I took a step towards him, the scant space between us already stretching too far, and he held his hands up. “Before we go down that path, I have something for you.”

I groaned. “You’ve already spent too much on me over the past few days.”

“The ring wasn’t a gift for you; it was a symbol of us. The heart cost nothing. This isn’t a gift either, but it will make me feel better when we’re apart.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You already used that once today.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a sleek, silver cell phone. I took it, frowning down at it.

“If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t spend any money on this either. Alice just upgraded and this is her old phone.” I looked doubtfully at the pristine casing.

“Did she just upgrade because you decided I needed a phone?”

He smirked. “You know Alice; she always wants the newest things. It was a complete coincidence that she wanted a new phone when I wanted to get you one.”

“Uh-huh. I believe you, thousands wouldn’t. However, since this means I can keep in touch with you during the day, I guess it’s not so bad.” I closed the distance between us and snaked my arms around his neck. “Would you like your thank you now?”

“I knew you’d see it my way.” He walked us backwards into his room, mouth latched onto mine, and I only noticed the presence of the bed when we collapsed onto it.

“Well, this is new,” I said breathlessly. I took a quick peek around the room as he peeled my shirt off. The walls and carpet were the same as ever, but the couch had been removed to make way for the behemoth of a bed, covered in soft gold sheets and framed by an intricately wrought black frame. The light was muted by sheer curtains of shot satin that covered the glass wall.

“I called Esme from Italy and let her know we’d need a bed.” He kissed a cool path down my throat, to the swell of my breast above my bra. He pulled the cups down so he had full access to my skin.

“That was –  _oh…_ ” Very, very tentatively, he wrapped his lips around my nipple, applying the lightest pressure, the softest sucking. This was new. I arched up into him, his mouth apparently connected to everything between my legs. I wriggled free of my panties, kicking them off my feet, and set about undoing the buttons on his jeans. He discarded them and as he rose above me I pushed him backwards. I wanted to be above him for a change.

“I’m in charge this time,” I said as I scraped my teeth, ineffectually, against his throat.

“Bella, I don’t know if that’s a good idea – ”

I stopped grinding into him. “I disagree. I think it’s a wonderful idea. You control everything we do, and I’d like the illusion that that isn’t the case for a little while.”

He seemed to be fighting an internal battle, and clearly didn’t like giving up his control, but he conceded. “You always have the power, even if you don’t know it.”

I pushed him against the fluffy pillows, knowing full well he only moved by choice but he was doing it to please me. As I crawled back over him, a flash of dark hair above us caught my attention.

I snapped my head up to find my reflection staring back at me. Directly above the headboard was a gold-framed mirror, easily the size of a poster. Reflected in  _that_ , I could see another mirror on the opposite wall, and another. The three walls that weren’t made of glass each had one hung, in the perfect position to display the activities on the bed.

“Wow. You really weren’t kidding about the mirrors.”

Edward’s gaze was heavy and dark – he’d followed my eye line to each of the mirrors. He strained beneath me, his hands wrapping around my hips and applying gentle pressure to pull me down to him. I shook my head, letting my hair fall around me, and uncurled his fingers from my skin.

“I told you, I’m in charge this time.” I led his hands to the headboard. “If you need something to hold onto, use this.”

I teased him a little longer, grinding down slowly while he gripped the metal until it creaked. Every time he rolled his hips up to mine, I shifted myself away, shaking my head. When he tried to remove his hands from the now-dented steel, I backed away entirely, rocking back onto my heels and tutting at him until he complied. Only when it became too much for me, his hardness gliding along my wet skin but providing not-enough friction, did I rise up to take him inside me.

His eyes flickered around the room, from where our bodies joined, to each of the mirrors. He’d have a very clear view of our movement wherever he looked and he obviously couldn’t decide which angle he preferred. Edward was definitely a visually oriented creature.

Rather than watching us in the mirror above the bed, I watched him: the tautness of his jaw as he restrained his most animalistic sounds, the classical lines of his shoulders and arms as he maintained his grasp on the poor bed frame, the desire that glazed over his honey irises as their focus consistently changed. I was free to run my fingers over his skin, following the contours of his muscles with fingertips and nails.

I thought that I would feel exposed like this, with every inch of my skin displayed to him, but his rapt attention stripped away all room for self-doubt. I could move my hips so the angle was just right, and control the pace so it was how I needed it, too. It was a heady feeling to have my own pleasure in the palm of my hand. I ignored the burn in my thighs as I moved faster, seeking the unraveling coil that would signal my release.

I didn’t chastise him when he began to thrust up, or when his hands eventually found my butt, one sliding up my back to pull me down to meet his kiss. I was too far gone by that point, and it only took a few more rolls of his hips for me to fall apart above him, surrendering myself entirely and inelegantly to his embrace.

 *******

We dressed at 6.45, after I’d showered for a solid twenty minutes. Edward had delicately informed me that his family would be able to smell what we’d been doing – as if they didn’t already know – but I didn’t want to give them ammunition, Emmett in particular. Edward had removed the cushion from the stairs to his room, and opened the downstairs windows to get fresh air flowing through the living room.

“We’re back!” Alice trilled as she glided back into the house. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie trailed after her, Emmett carrying a pizza box.

“I hunted for you,” he announced proudly, setting it down on the dining table with a flourish. “And I can totally smell that you guys did it down here, so Edward can no longer complain about me and Rose.”

“Emmett, that’s extremely impolite,” Esme chided, while Edward took a menacing step toward him. I tried to will the blood away from my cheeks and failed.

“You’re coming with me,” Rosalie snarled, literally yanking Emmett backwards by his collar and leading him outside.

I cast a startled glance at Edward. “Is she angry at him?”

“Not really. She was just distracting him before he said something to cause a real fight between us.”

Carlisle spoke. “You look well, Bella.”

I lifted my arms up. “No current injuries.” Edward’s jaw clenched in my peripheral vision.

“That’s not what I meant,” Carlisle continued softly, his gaze telling me that he was talking about my return from catatonia.

“I feel good. Thanks.” Esme was practically glowing at Carlisle’s side. I watched them both turn their eyes to Edward, silently communicating the same message to him. He’d told me a little about how much of a mess he’d been when he left Forks, and I realized how much that must have distressed his family – Carlisle and Esme in particular.

Charlie had been left in a perpetual state of confusion, not understanding why my simple case of teenage heartbreak cut so deeply and waiting helplessly for me to emerge from it. Carlisle and Esme had watched Edward’s descent into despair, knowing there would be no cure unless he could be turned aside from the path he had chosen.

“Everything’s good. Including the smell of that pizza. Do you mind?” I lifted the lid, glancing round to check they were okay with me tucking in. Something occurred to me. “Where’s Jasper?”

Alice took a seat next to me at the table, dropping a heavy, silk-lined tome onto the polished surface. “We got within a half-mile of the house and it was too much for him.” She shot a pointed look at Edward. “That’s not important right now – you’ll see him again soon. What’s important is  _this_.” She opened the book dramatically, turning to the first page which was lettered in perfect calligraphy.

 _**Edward & Bella’s Wedding** _

“I’ll be in my office,” Carlisle said, smiling once more before heading up the stairs. I stared beseechingly at Edward, who clearly wanted to follow Carlisle.

“Um, Alice, I thought you were doing the planning and just consulting us on the big decisions?”

“Bella, these are  _all_  important decisions that need to be made,” she replied, ruffling through to a page covered in swatches of fabric, all variations of ivory. Esme sat down across from us, dropping a box – no, a crate – in front of her, and pulling out a handful of glossy catalogues.

“I’m going to go and speak to Carlisle…” Edward muttered, flying up the stairs before I could protest.

“Now, where should we start?” Alice asked, oblivious. “What do you think, Esme – flowers or color schemes?”

 *******

Alice sulked on the drive home. I’d finally put my foot down and told her that she could only continue planning the wedding if she left me alone. Otherwise we were going to Vegas. Edward had been back at the table the moment the words left my mouth, saying we could go that weekend. That left me between a rock and a hard place – Edward wanted to get married yesterday and even Alice was pressuring me to tell Charlie so we could set a date. However, I was now out of planning duties, and that made me happy.

I’d hoped Charlie would be out, but not only was he in; he was waiting to talk to me, hovering in the hallway when I came inside.

“How’s he doing?” he asked, fidgeting as I hung my coat up.

“He’s getting better every day.” I figured if I kept it simple, the less likely I was to give myself away.

He nodded. And nodded again. He opened his mouth a few times, doing a repeat of his goldfish impression from last night.

“Bells, I want to talk to you about yesterday.”

Uh-oh. Was he reviewing my punishment?

“You were pretty upset when you got home from the res, so I, uh, went down there to have a word with Billy. I knew you’d be shaken from seeing Jake, but I didn’t think you’d take it  _that_  hard, so I knew something else happened. Well, they wouldn’t tell me what it was, but it’s clearly more than Jake. If you want to tell me what it was, you can, okay?”

I nodded, staring at a loose thread on the carpet.

He sighed loudly. “Sam told me he likes you and he’d hate to see you get hurt by Cul – Edward again. Billy was a little less pleasant about it – damn near told me you deserved to be upset. I told him your relationship was none of his business and it was time he got over his ridiculous dislike of the Cullens. Guess I’m down a fishing partner.” I glanced up, startled. “I’m on your side here, Bells. You might not have made the best choices lately, but if Billy was talking to you the way he was talking to me, I don’t blame you for being hurt. I’d never talk to Jake like that, and he’s got no right to do it to you.”

The silence weighed on after his declaration and I felt warmth in the pit of my stomach. Affection. Sometimes I forgot that Charlie wasn’t just an obstacle to spending all my time with Edward and that he really did have my best interests at heart. I’d never expected him to break his friendship with Billy over this. Their friendship was older than I was.

“You mean that?”

“Yup. Already told him that until he apologizes – to  _you_  – I don’t want to hear from him.”

I was struck by the sudden, overwhelming urge to hug Charlie, but I resisted because that would just be awkward for both of us. “Thanks, Dad.”

And instead of heading up to bed, I watched the rest of the Seahawks game with him. We didn’t talk, but before I called it a night, I finally gave in to that urge.


	7. Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks go, as always, to my fantabulous betas Octoberland and evieeden. Without their ruthless pursuit of errant commas and typos, this would me much harder to read.

**Promises**

Charlie had no one to go fishing with that weekend, so I fully expected to spend it on lockdown in my bedroom.  That was okay – Edward would sneak in and we’d wile the hours away quietly.  We’d managed it for the past couple of days, taking advantage of Charlie’s late shifts so Edward could ravish me while the house was empty.  At night, I slept in his arms like I always had.  We never tried to do more than that with Charlie so close, since my bed had an awful propensity to squeak inconveniently.  I knew it frustrated Edward, who’d confessed that finally being together in my bed was something of a fantasy come true.

I woke up every morning with the ring on my finger and the heart-shaped pendant around my neck.  Charlie had seen one, but not the other, and when I challenged Edward about him sneaking the ring on while I was sleeping he didn’t even have the decency to seem sheepish about it.

“I like seeing you wearing it.  It’s a tangible reminder that someday soon you’re going to be my wife.”

“What if Charlie walked in when I wasn’t expecting him and he saw it?”

“For someone who professes to have so much faith in me, sometimes you don’t show it.”  He tapped his index finger against his temple and did that charming crooked smirk thing that always got him out of trouble.  “I’ll know when he’s coming to check on you almost before he does.”

Charlie spent a lot of time checking on me in the middle of the night and my house arrest was reinstated after my one night of freedom to visit Edward.  Driving home from school on Friday I was preparing myself for a weekend of quiet frustration.

I was surprised to see the Volvo parked out front and Alice waved at me from the porch.  “What excellent timing I have,” she greeted me.  “I was just coming to visit you and Charlie.”

I led her inside to find Charlie staring dubiously into a Tupperware box.

“I made casserole the other night,” he said, gesturing at the container.

“It’s okay, Dad, I’ll cook,” I replied.  “Alice is here.”

“Oh, hey Alice.”  He was grinning widely and I rolled my eyes.  I could never quite figure out why he liked Alice so much and Edward so little; he had it completely the wrong way around.  She’d taken to texting me about lace patterns and string quartets and only the reply ‘ _Vegas_ ’ had shut her up.  “How are you?”

She sighed dramatically and gave an elegant, calculated flop into one of the kitchen chairs.  “I’m miserable,” she began.  “I don’t start back at school until Monday and because Bella is grounded, I have no-one to spend any time with this weekend.  She’s my only friend in Forks and I’ve been so lonely over the past few days, trapped in that big old house while my parents fuss over Edward.  I know it’s not his fault, since he’s still out of it most of the time, but I just wish I had someone to spend some time with.”

I raised my eyebrows in her general direction.  She was laying it on so thick even Charlie had to see through it…but no.  He was frowning at her, her melancholy reflected in his expression.

“Alice, you know just because Bella is grounded, doesn’t mean you can’t spend some time here this weekend.”

Her bottom lip actually wobbled.  “Thanks Charlie.  I just keep thinking about all the slumber parties we missed out on while I was in L.A.  It’s at night that I’m most lonely.  Carlisle and Esme don’t like me driving around after dark, which means I’m stuck at the house.  I’ve been working hard to catch up on what I’ve missed at school, but I always learn best with someone to help me.  Bella’s good at that, you know.”

I thought I saw a flicker of suspicion in Charlie’s expression, but Alice turned the puppy-dog eyes on full beam, and he bought it all hook, line and sinker.

“Well, I suppose since you won’t be getting up to any trouble…and I’ll be working a lot, so Bells would be on her own…Can I talk to Esme?”

“Of course.”

Charlie retrieved the phone and wandered into the living room to talk away from prying ears.

“What the hell, Alice?”

“Oh, you’re just jealous because it would never have worked if you tried it.  Esme is at this very moment convincing Charlie that Edward is still bedbound, so you won’t be able to spend much time with him.  She’s also convincing him that she and Carlisle will be home all weekend, thus providing constant adult supervision, and that I really have been moping about the house without you.  Charlie’s going to come back in here within the next thirty seconds and say you can come to our house for an extended slumber party.”

She did a smug little head bob and turned to watch Charlie return to the room.

Sure enough, he confirmed that I was free for the weekend.  I almost hugged him again but decided that twice in one week might give him heart failure.  I had rules, of course: I wasn’t allowed to leave the Cullen house and I was to be home by 6 p.m. on Sunday for a ‘family meal’, which Alice was invited to.

I quickly packed an overnight bag, searching in vain for my favorite shirt, the one I’d worn in Volterra.  After five minutes I gave up, deciding it was in the laundry somewhere.  Just to feel less guilty about our charade, I fished a frozen lasagna out of the depths of the freezer, so Charlie didn’t have to eat his casserole.

I didn’t get a chance to ask Alice what her masterpiece of acting had been in aid of until we were in the car.

“You get to spend the weekend with Edward, silly.”

“But what do  _you_  get out of it?”

“Firstly, a less mopey Edward.  Secondly, tonight, you’re mine.  We really are going to have that slumber party and Edward has been banished to go hunting.  We need some girly-bonding time; I’ve missed you.  Finally, I get to have both a yellow Porsche  _and_  a custom built Harley Davidson.  I want gold flames painted on it – not yellow, but actual gold.  Bribery will get you everywhere with me.”  She grinned and winked, stepping on the gas.

She was true to her word.  We spent the night in her room enjoying some pampering, although she was surprisingly not at all pushy about it.  If I didn’t want to do anything – like getting my nails painted – she moved onto the next suggestion.  I did get a pedicure and a deep conditioning treatment on my hair, and managed to consume an entire tub of Cookie Dough without realizing it.  Rather than forcing me to endure chick flicks, a loop of Audrey Hepburn films played.

It was more important that we talked.  She told me what she’d seen of Edward when they left Forks, although he’d separated from the family not long afterwards.  The visions she’d had of him had been erratic and distressing and eventually they stopped altogether.  He’d stopped thinking about the future, stopped making any decisions at all and that had blocked her gift.

She’d turned to watching me instead, to spite him since she’d promised not to, but there were big holes in her vision.  She only figured out these were caused by the wolves when she returned to Forks after my disastrous attempt at cliff-diving, when she met Jacob.

“I see you’re still not wearing the ring,” she commented while she dithered between two shades of nail polish.

“Uh, no, he’s got it.”

“I noticed.  He tends to mope in his room when you’re not here, curled up and staring at the ring.  I’ve told him that it’s pathetic, but apparently he doesn’t care.”

“Alice!  That’s not pathetic, it’s…”  Truthfully, I was surprised.  He texted me constantly while I was at school, but I could only reply a handful of times because of class.  He’d wanted me to meet him off campus at lunch, but sneaking away would have been immediately noticed, so I settled for sitting in the truck and talking to him on the cell phone.  I’d imagined that he spent the rest of his days doing other things – I wasn’t sure what, but he had hobbies.  He’d had eternity to fill up before I came along, so he’d get along fine without me for a few hours.  “Well, is that normal?”

“He misses you.  I think it’s because he spent so long away from you, followed by an intense period of being with you again.  All he wants to do is make up for lost time and he can’t.  His emotions have gone from one extreme to the other and for a vampire that’s a big deal.  He needs to adjust.  And Edward’s just not used to being unreservedly happy, so he channels it by being broody.”

“Wait, what has he got to be broody about?”  The Edward I’d seen over the past few days had been anything but.

“The usual.  He’s Edward; he’s still going to worry about you.  Even after you’re one of us, that won’t change.  He worries that maybe he needs to pull the reins in a little on himself, because he could still accidentally hurt you if he’s too enthusiastic.  He worries about changing you – what if he isn’t able to stop drinking?  He worries that he really is endangering your soul by agreeing to make you one of us.”

“But changing me is a done deal.”

“You might think so, but he’s still scared that you’ll change your mind about forever.  He wants it so much that he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop – something  _has_  to go wrong.  He is the ultimate pessimist and he needs to be sure that  _you’re_  sure about forever, which is why marriage is so important to him.”

“Has he told you all of this?”

“No, like I said, he’s been too pathetic and broody to actually talk.”

“Then how – ?”

“He’s Edward.  It’s easy to figure it out.”

“I guess we need to sit down and talk about this stuff without…distractions.”

She gave a slow grin, understanding what kind of distractions I meant.  “Good luck with that.”

The serious talk became less serious and ventured into areas I didn’t want go near.

“I’ve tried to not look into your future when you’re alone – don’t worry, I’ve had plenty of practice since that’s all Rosalie and Emmett’s futures ever consist of.  But I need to know that you’re enjoying it all too.”

“Alice!”  I buried my face in my hands.

“Bella!” she teased.  “Edward might have spent the last few decades being bombarded with thoughts of sex, but thinking and doing are very different things.  He came from a time when sex wasn’t really talked about and he might not necessarily know all the crucial facts.”

“He has how many medical degrees?”

“It’s not the same thing at all.”  She glared at me, shaking her fingers to dry the wet polish on her nails.  “I was hoping we could compare notes and talk about the nitty-gritty.  I’ve never had anyone I could do that with before – Rose refuses and I don’t really want to with Esme – but I guess I’m going to have to wait until you’re turned and lose those pesky human inhibitions.”

“I’m never going to want to talk about that stuff.  It’s private.”

She pulled a face and pressed play on  _‘Roman Holiday’_.

I couldn’t sleep in her room, since she didn’t actually have a bed, so I happily snuggled up in Edward’s arms in what he was persistently referring to as ‘our’ bed.

The morning light filtering in through the burnished fabric of the curtains cast a caramel glow over Edward’s skin and it was that sight that I woke up to: golden skin, golden eyes and golden highlights in his hair.  Even the tips of his eyelashes looked like they’d been dipped in molten gold.  He took my breath away and I could only stare for minutes, until a cloud covered the sun and the light changed.

“You’re awfully dazed this morning,” he said, frowning at my stuttering pulse.  Then his concern melted into that smug grin.  “Am I dazzling you again?”

I glared at him and he rolled us so he hovered over me, still smirking.  “Don’t be so grumpy.  I need my own reassurances sometimes too.”

I ran a lazy hand down his back and round his hip.  “They’d take what form, exactly?”

He moved my hand away, resting it on the pillow beside my head and kissing the inside of my wrist, his tongue flicking out to skim along my pulse.  “Not yet.  I don’t want to tire you out this early into the weekend.”

My grumpy mood vanished entirely and I beamed up at him.  “Mmm.  I get to spend the whole weekend with you.”

“You do.”  He returned my smile.  “I hope you’re still speaking to me after your surprise.”

I froze.  “My what?”

He tutted and continued his exploration of my wrist.

“I think you’ll like it, but just to be on the safe side, I left the Cadbury’s there.”

I narrowed my eyes at his sly expression.  “Mentioning chocolate won’t distract me.  What is it?”

“I told you, it’s a surprise.  That means you won’t find out until we get there.”

I didn’t bother pleading with him to tell me what it was, since he was the master at keeping secrets.  I took my time dressing, not particularly eager to find out what he’d been spending his money on now.  He paced in his room while I locked myself in the bathroom; he was obviously very eager to show me whatever it was.

As soon as I unlocked the door, I was in his arms and when we reached the lawn, he slung me across his back.  I buried my head into the back of his neck, the only way to fight the motion sickness, but the journey to wherever we were going was mercifully short.  My stomach hadn’t quite started churning before he set me down.  He clasped his hand over my eyes before I could open them.

“Edward.”  Okay,  _now_  I was whining.

“ _Bella_ ,” he teased back.  “Just remember,” he continued, his voice hushed and his breath brushing against my ear as he spoke, “this is for both of us.  I didn’t spend any money on it, since we already owned it, and it gave Esme great joy in restoring it.  It’s her gift to us so it would please her enormously if we were grateful for it.”

I grit my teeth at his mild admonishment – I wasn’t  _that_  bad at accepting gifts and I’d certainly never be churlish towards Esme of all people.

“Okay, you can look.”  He removed his hand and I blinked my eyes open.

We stood in a small clearing in the forest, lush greenery in abundance around us.  The little cottage in its centre was covered in moss and almost looked like it had grown out of the forest itself.  It had an old-world look, with its lichen-hued stone and wet slate roof.  It looked like it had sprung from a fairytale.

Edward was whispering in my ear again.  “Esme spent all week working on it, with a little help from Emmett and Jasper.  It gave Jasper somewhere to stay when you were at the house, actually.  Like I said, we already owned it; it just needed a little work.  Now it’s ours, so you never have to worry about being in a house full of vampires with super-senses.”

I finally found my voice.  “I think…I love it.”

“Would you like to see inside?”  I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Very much.”

The fairytale effect continued when he opened the heavy oak door and led us into the cool interior.  The ceiling was low and beamed and we entered straight into the living room, which was furnished in a mish-mash of antique styles.  One wall was dominated by a fireplace and chimney built of the same stone used on the outside, and I could imagine how magical the room would look lit up by a real fire.  Nothing was quite straight, from the cut of the beams to the angle of the walls.

There were only four rooms altogether: the living room, a tiny galley kitchen, a bathroom – which broke the cozy-cottage feel and went for elegant marble tile – and, of course, the bedroom.  The king-sized bed dominated the room, barely leaving space to move around it.  The bed itself was a wooden four-poster, each of the posts ornately carved, and wispy drapes fell in folds around it to the carpet.

“Does Esme know about the bed you broke in Italy?” I asked.

“Hmm – no.  I should probably be very careful with this one.  She wasn’t entirely happy when she saw what I’d done to the frame of the one at the house.”  He snickered and pulled me into his arms.

“Okay, I really, truly love it – all of it – but I have to ask why?”

He led me back into the living room and we curled up together on a couch.

“I’ve grown used to my family just…getting on with it while everyone else is around.  It’s hard to get any privacy in a house full of vampires, no matter how quiet you try to be – and  _some_  don’t try at all.  However, I knew you wouldn’t feel very happy about being together when they were all within hearing distance.  It’s why I got the house cleared out the other day – but, unfortunately, I can’t ask that of them all the time.  Also, this way Jasper can go home.”

I cupped his face in my hands and leaned into skim my nose against his in an Eskimo kiss.

“In that case I think I love it even more.  I hadn’t even thought about your family being around and…well, you’re right.  I’d have hated knowing they could hear me.”

“To be honest, I wouldn’t be too keen on it either.  I’m sure I’d have battled on valiantly though.”  He grinned, one hand working its way under my shirt and stroking at the sensitive skin of my hip.

“So, they can’t hear us from here?”

He gave a slow, seductive smile.  “Not unless we’re especially loud.”

“And this is ours now?”

It was hard to miss the burst of pure joy in his eyes.  “Ours.”  He leaned in to kiss me, his lips barely brushing mine before he pulled away, teasing me.  “I knew you’d like this kind of surprise.  I have something else for you.”

I couldn’t hold back the groan.

“No moaning, you asked for this gift.”  He reached behind the couch and pulled out a slab of purple satin-wrapped heaven, easily the size of a textbook.

“The chocolate’s here!”  I gave a delighted squeal.

“I told you that I deliver on my promises.”

I looked up at him from beneath my eyelashes.  His irises were the deepest black.

“I guess this means I should deliver on mine,” I murmured.  “Should we go into the bedroom?”

“No, I like it here actually.”

It was true that the couch was extremely comfortable, but I was sure it was another antique and just as breakable as the bed.

“Is there anything in the room that Esme won’t mind you breaking?” I asked.

He cocked his head, considering my question.  Then he was off the couch and back in the time it took my heart to beat once, with a solid length of cast iron in his hands.

“It’s a poker,” he explained, then laid it aside and pulled me onto his lap.

Him taking the lead was a good thing, because just a moment before I’d been wondering how to go about this.  Did I just ask him to get naked and then kneel on the floor?  Did I have to get naked too?  Did I just go straight to sucking him, or did he want some build-up first?  I knew he was ready, because he was pressing into me where I straddled him, but then he was  _always_  ready.

I decided just to lose myself in the kiss and let everything flow naturally.  It was a sweet kiss, tentative, with only a little tongue, leaving me wanting more.  His long fingers curled in my hair near the roots, his fingertips caressing my scalp, and it was heavenly.  I couldn’t help moving, pressing myself fractionally into his hips.  Instead of reciprocating, one of his hands slid down my back to cup my butt and pin me against the front of his body.

“Bella,” he whispered hoarsely, breaking free of the kiss to capture me with his desire-black stare.  “We have all weekend.  There’s no rush.  I just want to kiss you.”

“Oh.”  There was nothing else to say.  His lips returned to mine and we did exactly that – long minutes of gentle movement and soft sighs and teasing tongue passed.  His hands mostly behaved themselves, although the one on my butt stayed put, his grip tightening whenever I dragged my mouth across his jaw line.

Somewhere along the way I ended up beneath him, his weight pressing deliciously into me as he deepened our kisses.  My hands moved lazily over his clothes and then under them.  Our clothes came off piece by piece, and while the increased skin-to-skin contact heated my blood and sent it pounding through my body, he kept the pace measured and unhurried.  By the time he was naked and I was down to my underwear, I was a quivering mess.  My skin ached for so much more.

“I like this,” he said, running a finger along the edge of the Alice-approved bra I wore.  It was one of the pieces from Florence – demure ivory, almost the same shade of my skin that managed to be sexy at the same time.  Even I could admit that when I saw myself in it.

“Can we leave it on for now?” he continued, kissing along the edge of the strap, up to the curve of my shoulder and nuzzling in.

I nodded breathlessly and his fingers moved from my hip down to the matching panties, easing just inside the hem.

“Uh-uh,” I chided, pushing him up and then over onto his back.  “I have practicing to do, remember?”

I don’t know where my surge of confidence came from, but I’d decided that if I was going to do this, I needed to seize the moment.  We’d already done this once, Edward had loved it and there was nothing to doubt.

Seeing him staring up at me in anticipation actually helped, a lot.  It looked like I’d captured and bound a God, except there were no visible bindings keeping him in place.  He was staring at me with heavy-lidded eyes and I was captivated by the sweep of his lashes as he blinked.  Every little detail of his body intrigued me and the more I explored, the more I wanted to do it even more.

I straddled him again and leant over to place a chaste kiss upon his chest, right above where his heart was.  Even though I couldn’t feel it beating, I knew it existed.  Then I kissed and licked and sucked my way down his stomach, the muscles there rippling with his heavy breaths, his skin crisply sweet on my tongue.  I caught him in my hand and his hips rolled up, his breath coming in an almost-wheeze.  I nipped at his hip, doing so gently not for his sake but for my teeth’s, savoring his taste.  I wanted more of it.  In one swift movement I lifted my head and took him in my mouth.

He had the poker back in his hands as I sucked my way down his length, testing how much of him I could fit in my mouth.  With my tongue I lapped at him, hoping the combination of hard and soft felt good to him.  I avoided using my teeth because I had no idea if he’d like that, but apart from that I experimented: how hard I sucked, how quickly I moved, the way I moved my tongue – flicking across the tip, twisting around him – how deeply I dipped my head.  I used my hands too, exploring his hips and thighs, stroking what had to be sensitive skin, until I took what I couldn’t fit in my mouth into my palm.

I glanced up only to be caught in the dark tunnel of his stare.  I knew he wouldn’t blink until this was over and that he was capturing all of this to his perfect memory.  At the same time, he wasn’t really sentient, too lost in sensation to be aware of the world around him.  That stare, the heavy way his breath forced its way out of his lungs, the way the muscles in his abdomen flexed as I moved, started a chain reaction in me.  I was all too aware of the satin against my breasts, the weight of him in my mouth, and the moisture between my legs.

Whenever his breathing got too erratic, or the tortured groaning of the metal poker became too harsh, I eased back, brushing gentle kisses across the V of his torso or the underside of his length.  My jaw didn’t appreciate me drawing this out, but my taste buds did.  Other men couldn’t taste like Edward or women would never complain about doing this; Cadbury’s was nothing compared to his flavour.

I gave in when he wrenched the poker into a right angle and, instead of retreating, I kept going, keeping up my movement even as he pulsed in my mouth.  His roar echoed in my ears along with the metallic screech of the poker being torn completely in two.  It took me a moment to remember to swallow.  The taste wasn’t as pleasant as I’d expected.

When we’d both caught our breath he pulled me to lie alongside him, while he buried his face in the crook of my neck and graced my skin with a multitude of butterfly-light kisses.

“Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella…” he chanted, and I had to restrain a giggle at his glowing behavior.  It was almost like he was high, so relaxed and sated beside me.

But not for long.

By Sunday afternoon, I was tired and my muscles were achy, but overall I was thoroughly blissed out. Esme had thoughtfully provided an electric blanket for the bed which meant I was able to snuggle up to Edward when I dozed and not freeze.  For his part, Edward made minimal damage to the bed – just one small gouge in the wood of the headboard and a torn comforter.

I knew I’d have to shower soon, before Alice arrived to take me back to Charlie’s, but for now I did not want to move – ever again would be perfect.  The contrast of the warm, smooth sheets and Edward’s cool, satiny skin delighted every nerve ending in my own skin and a low-level current of electricity thrummed between us.  He’d entwined our fingers and rested them on his chest and I knew they were positioned so he could see the ring.

“I know you don’t want to tell Charlie just yet,” he began, breaking into my bubble of contentment, “but I’d like to set a date.”

I nodded against his chest – I’d been thinking along the same lines.  “We should probably wait until I’m over the newborn phase.  Two years, maybe?  I’m not too bothered about what season – ”

I looked up, caught his expression and stopped talking.  He was staring at me with wide eyes.

“You want to wait until after you’ve been changed?” he asked, and I could hear the edge of vulnerability in his voice.  “You want to wait so long to get married?”

“I…”  I had no answer.  The devastation on his face was easy to read.  He’d thought he was on the home stretch, just by getting me to agree to marry him, and I was thinking of ways to put it off.

Finally, he spoke again.  “Bella, I won’t change you until after we’re married.  That’s one thing I won’t be moved on.”

I pulled away to sit up, gathering the blankets around me.

“Alice said she saw me as one of you after graduation – that’s this summer.”  It was too soon.  Too soon to convince Charlie and Renee this was a good idea, too soon to wrap my own head around the idea of marriage.

“Alice’s visions can change.  It’s all affected by our choices.  But I was hoping that the wedding would be sooner rather than later.”  His face was a mask of cool indifference now, but I knew better.  He wanted much, much sooner.

“So if I marry you this summer, you’ll change me?”

Indecision flickered in his eyes.

“Edward, you can’t back out on it.  You know how I feel about that – if you want marriage, you have to change me.”

“It doesn’t have to be me.  Carlisle – ”

“I want it to be you.”  I was pleased that I didn’t sound like a petulant child – my words were calm, a statement of truth.  Despite the pain and ultimate brutality of being bitten, there was an intimacy to it.  I didn’t want that with anyone except Edward.

“What if I can’t,” he whispered, cupping my face in his hand.  “I’ve done it once and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.  I don’t think I have the strength to just  _bite_  and then stop.  In fact, I think it’ll be worse.  My instinct is so engrained against causing you harm, I don’t think I could even bring myself to bite you.”

“That’s what you’re worried about?”  I asked softly.

“That and everything you’ll be missing out on as a human.  Have you really thought about what you’re giving up to be with me?  There are so many things that you can still experience while you’re alive and I don’t want to take those away from you.  Don’t you want more time with your parents?  Don’t you want the chance to spend time in the sun?  Go to college?  You don’t have to be changed anytime soon.  We could enjoy a few years of married life before you take that step.”

I placed my hand over his, leaning into his touch.

“I’ve thought about it – it’s practically all I  _have_  thought about when you’re not around me.  Those things that you’re worried about me missing can either wait, or they’re less important to me than you.  I know I’ll miss Renee and Charlie, but I’ve spent eighteen years looking after them.  I’ve accepted that to be with you, I have to give them up.  It will be painful, the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but would putting it off make it any easier?  Plus, as you keep pointing out, I’m extremely fragile – and I don’t want there to be anything that could ever part us again.  Especially not death.  Changing me is the only way.”

The only sound for a few minutes was our deep, even breathing, and Edward stroked my hair.

“If you want changing soon, then I meant what I said about getting married first.  I’m scared about changing you myself, but there are precautions we can take.  So long as Alice’s visions seem okay, we can try.  But the only way we can both get what we want is if the wedding is soon.”

I counted down from ten in my head, squelching the sense of panic.

“How soon?”

“I think if it’s too soon, Alice will gut me for not giving her enough time to create the perfect wedding…but definitely by the end of summer.  Then we can tell everyone we’re moving away for college.  It’ll give you a reason to say goodbye to your parents.”

The end of summer.  August, technically, which was four months away.  But who knew what could happen in those months?  He was right – it was the only way we’d both get what we wanted.

“August,” I agreed.

Now I just had to figure out a way to tell my parents.

 *******

I didn’t come up with a solution immediately, although Alice was on cloud nine now that she had something concrete to work with, and I knew Edward was too.  I half-expected him to have a calendar printed up somewhere, counting down the days, since his standard greeting on a morning had become bound up with that.

“Good morning, Bella,” he would greet me when I woke up.  “Only one-hundred and nineteen days until I can call you Mrs. Cullen.”  It was hard to be curmudgeonly about it when it made him so happy.

Edward was finally back at school, and his return set the gossip mill spinning into a frenzy again.  He’d aligned his schedule back to mine, although he was benched during gym because of his ‘head injury’, something I whined about the unfairness of with every chance I got.

I got my own back by being the one to ferry us to and from school in the truck.  He was still forbidden from driving on Carlisle’s order and Alice was in charge of the Volvo for the time being – she would drop him off on her way to school and he would sneak into the house with me after school while Charlie was still at work.  I knew he was plotting the demise of the truck as he sat grumbling under his breath with every journey, his fingers itching to take the wheel and his eyes staring moodily at the speedometer as if willing it to go faster.

I think Charlie suspected that Edward was spending time at the house, but there wasn’t much he could do about it, short of coming home to check every day.  We behaved ourselves just to be on the safe side.

I tried to spend more time with Alice as well and not get too wrapped up in Edward.  I’d missed having her as my friend and even though she kept trying to trick me into talking about sex, it was fun being around her.  She kept to her word and kept the wedding talk to a minimum.  Plus, spending time with her earned me brownie points with Charlie.  She’d come over a few evenings when he wasn’t working and it was comfortable and easy watching sports with him while she regaled him with stories about my in-school clumsiness.  It was worth it because I was too aware of how little time I had left with Charlie.

About a week after Edward’s return to school, I took a trip to the grocery store with Alice while he went hunting.  I was looking for ingredients for all of Charlie’s favorite meals, hoping that if I kept him well fed I could score another weekend at the cottage with Edward.

“That looks completely revolting,” Alice remarked as I heaved a pork joint into the cart.

“Just you wait until I’m through with it.”  Truthfully, I wasn’t just spoiling Charlie for my own gains; soon enough he would be fending for himself permanently and I wanted to keep him stocked up with good food while I could.

We passed the tiny section of the store that stocked clothing and Alice pulled a face at the rails.

“Snob,” I said.  “That reminds me, I keep losing clothes at your house.”  Alice had kept all the lingerie we’d bought in Florence so Charlie didn’t accidentally stumble across it, and I left a few other items there as well so I could always get changed.  Charlie really didn’t notice if I left the house in one shirt and came home in another.  “Can you ask Edward to bring a few of my t-shirts back?”

“Um. Bella, we don’t have any of them.  Edward washes them and takes them to your house.”

“Really?  I – ”

Alice’s nostrils flared a moment before she glared at the other end of the aisle.  I followed her stare and the bulky frame of Sam Uley entered the store.

She stepped in front of me before he saw me, but I stepped around her.

“It’s okay, Alice, I want to speak to him.”

The way things had been left with Jake had been preying on my mind, but I wasn’t prepared to risk the journey to La Push, for the sake of both my emotional welfare and Edward’s sanity.

“Bella, I can’t see what will happen if you do.  I can’t let you walk into a situation where I don’t know the outcome.”

“It’s fine; he won’t hurt me.  Trust me.”

I took a deep breath and approached him.  He was trying to discreetly sniff the air, probably catching Alice’s scent – vampire in a grocery store must have been a first.  It distracted him from my approach.

“Sam?”

He snapped around at the sound of voice and although his features were perfectly composed, I knew he wasn’t happy to see me.  The fact that I likely reeked of vampire wouldn’t help.

“Bella,” he greeted stiffly.  Maybe he’d been on the receiving end of the same chewing out Charlie has dished out to Billy, because he was trying for politeness.

“How is he?”

It had been two weeks since I’d seen Jake and without Charlie as a conduit of information, I had no idea how well, or even if, he was healing.

“He’s better.  He isn’t one-hundred percent yet, but he’s mobile again.”

I nodded, my gaze focused on the stack of tins over his shoulder.

“Did you ever figure out why he was healing so slowly?”

His stare turned stony.  “No.”  His gaze flickered to something behind me – I guessed Alice.  “Nothing’s changed on our end, Bella, just as nothing has changed on yours.  You can’t run with us  _and_  them.  Jacob feels the same way.”

I swallowed over the lump in my throat.  “Okay.”  The word came out tiny.  “Would you tell him I miss him?”

“I can, but don’t expect an answer.  Unless you sever your ties with the bloodsuckers, you’re no longer a friend of the pack.”

I’d expected nothing less, but it still hurt to hear it.  He turned and disappeared out of the store and I paid for my groceries in silence.

“I’m sorry, Bella,” Alice said as she drove me home.  “It almost doesn’t seem fair that you’re trapped in the middle.  I don’t like you being around them – werewolves are not safe – and the thought of it drives Edward crazy, but I know they were your friends.”

“Thanks.  I suppose I’m not, really.  Trapped in the middle, I mean.  I already chose – one day I’m going to become one of you.  Of course I can’t be a friend of the pack, when I’ll become their natural enemy.  It just hurts that I’ll never get to resolve things properly with Jake.”

I was subdued all evening and I think Alice told Edward what had happened because he didn’t pry into my mood.  Instead, we curled up in my bed, and he read ‘Pride and Prejudice’ to me until I fell asleep, cradled against him.


	8. Stories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my betas Octoberland and evieeden. Also thank you to Goldenhair for contributing some French phrases to fit my dubious and vague specifications.

**Stories**

“Is anyone home?” I called out into the empty Cullen living room.

The house felt deserted, despite the presence of a shiny new Harley Davidson in the driveway.  It made my truck look even more decrepit than usual when I parked up next to it.

My house arrest was prematurely over on account of good behavior, so I was celebrating my first Saturday of freedom with Alice while Edward hunted.  Problem was, she didn’t seem to be around.  The front door had been unlocked, but that was normal; they lived so far out in the forest they didn’t really need to worry about intruders…well, that and the fact that any intruders needed to worry about running into a Cullen.

“Alice?” I tried again – still no reply.

I headed up the stairs, drawn by a faint knocking noise.  She was probably setting up some new equipment in the torture chamber she called a bedroom, something that inflicted pain in the pursuit of beauty.  The first thing I needed to tell her was that my definition of a celebration involved sugar and no primping.

I got to the top of the stairs, turned into the hallway and froze.

There, bent over a chair on the threshold of her room, was a very naked Alice.  Behind her stood an equally nude Jasper, pounding into her with rapid thrusts, each hard smack of his flesh hitting hers echoing along the hallway.

“Oh my God,” I choked out, unable to move a limb or tear my gaze away.

Only then did two pairs of onyx eyes turn to stare at me, reptilian and eerie, and the pair of them assumed that total stillness only vampires are capable of.

I squeaked, my throat making a humiliating noise akin to a startled mouse, and fled back down the stairs.

The knocking started up immediately and it was all I could do not to curl into a ball and cover my ears to keep the noise out now I knew what it was.  Instead, I decided it would be less childish to get out of earshot.  Everyone else was out and it was unusual that I wasn’t here with Edward.  If it weren’t for the loud vampire sex going on upstairs, I’d have taken the opportunity to snoop around the house, but I kept moving away from the source of my discomfort.

Everything was open plan, which let the sounds travel freely, and it was only in the kitchen that I found my sanctuary.  Another door led off from here into the garage, a weighty, solid piece of wood that would surely keep the thuds out.  I was on the other side of it before I’d even thought it through.

I hadn’t been inside the garage often, since cars were as low on my list as manicures.  The interior was cool, but well lit and easily bigger than the entire first floor of Charlie’s house.  The fleet of cars – and it really was a fleet – gleamed under the lights, as pristine as they’d been when they first left the showroom.  Curiosity led me in the direction of Edward’s Aston Martin, which he’d often mentioned but I’d never actually been in.  I was wary of being in any car where Edward could break the speed limit twice over with ease.

“Can I help you?”

I squealed for the second time in the space of five minutes and whirled around to face the speaker.  Rosalie stood by the open bonnet of Emmett’s jeep in grease-covered overalls, still managing to look like she was in the middle of a Vogue cover shoot.

“Um, I’m fine.  Just getting away from…you know.”  I nodded towards the ceiling.  No matter how comfortable I was around the rest of the Cullens, Rosalie’s coolness towards me still left me tongue-tied around her.

“Yes, they are being noisy, aren’t they?  Jasper’s been like this ever since Edward came back from Italy.”  Her words, a bland effort at small talk, didn’t sit right with the steady force of her stare.  I couldn’t read her at all.  Was she angry?  Amused?  Completely indifferent?  The blankness of her face would indicate the latter, but I’d found the first emotion was usually the case with Rosalie.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it,” I said, waving in the direction of the exposed engine and turning to retreat back into the house.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you, you know.”

“Really?”  I blanched at the sheer amount of amazement in my voice.  If anyone would take it the wrong way, she would.

Instead, she smiled.  It wasn’t exactly a warm smile, but she was trying.  Maybe I really had amused her, at least inadvertently.

“I know I’m not the most welcoming person.  I certainly haven’t been welcoming to you, but I have my reasons.  I’d like the opportunity to explain them to you.”

Faced with the choice of another “um” or nothing at all, I went with silence.

“Do you want to sit?”  She indicated a padded leather armchair by the wall – only Esme would put something like this in the garage – and I obediently sat down.

She took a few moments to wipe her hands free of grease on a towel and replace her tools in a huge steel set of wall-mounted drawers.  She did it with great care and apparent concentration, which meant she could only be thinking.  I’d noticed the same thing in Edward, the way his actions became more careful the more deeply his thoughts became entangled.

“Has anyone ever told you how I died?” she asked, her back still to me.

Whatever I was expecting, it wasn’t that.  “No,” I replied quietly, “only that you were attacked.”

“I supposed they wouldn’t,” she mused, coming to perch on a shelf next to me, long legs stretched out in front of her.  “We all have our stories and we’re all protective of them.  No one more so than me.  I think it’s worth you hearing mine.  Is that okay?”  She waited for me to nod before continuing.

“I was beautiful as a human and I knew it.  I’m more so now, inevitably, but even in life I would have fared well against the average vampire.  My sin is and always has been vanity and I knew the wealth of my beauty from a young age.

“Consider the time I grew up in.  It was the Great Depression and my family were one of the lucky ones.  We were comfortable, but we strived for more.  My parents knew the wealth of my beauty too, and they knew that it afforded me great options for marriage.  At the time, marriage was an inevitability for a girl; it was only ever a question of  _who_  I would marry, and when.  My parents aimed high and I had no objections to their schemes.  They loved me and wanted what was best for me, and a comfortable life as the wife of a rich man was the best possible future for me.

“At age eighteen, I was already being groomed to become a bride.”  Her eyes flickered to the diamond on my finger and away again.  “You may think it’s a young age now, but then it was the norm.  Plus, I had another reason to want to get married so young.  You see, my greatest wish in all the world was to have a child.”

I tried to keep my reaction off my face, but I don’t know how successful I was.  I couldn’t imagine the glacial Rosalie with a child – the image didn’t seem right.

“One of my best friends had a child, you see.  She had a little boy when we were seventeen and he became the centre of her universe.  I loved him too, in my own way.  Not because he was so small and adorable, but because he liked me for something other than my beauty.  When I helped her look after him, he looked to me for protection and as he grew older, for entertainment.  He liked me because I played games with him and kissed him better when he fell over, not because of the color of my hair or the preciseness of my features.  I wanted that kind of love from someone.  It’s all I ever really wanted.

“My parents were ecstatic when I became engaged to the son of a banker.  He was wealthy and handsome and kind.”  Her words were clipped and distant.  It didn’t sound like she was telling her story – more like she was narrating something else, a story that didn’t belong to her.  “I was lucky.  It was a huge step up the social ladder for my family, and Royce – my fiancé – really seemed to adore me.  It was for my beauty, as always, but that was as much as I could expect.

“We weren’t often alone together, but on the few occasions where he managed to engineer the situation so we were, he pushed for more than kisses.  I refused, knowing the scandal and shame that could result when girls got themselves into that kind of situation.  He was persistent and got agitated when I refused, but things never got heated.

“One night, not long before the wedding, I went looking for Royce.  He was at a bar with his friends, drinking and gambling.  I can’t even remember what possessed me to go to him at night, alone and by myself.  Perhaps it was Fate pushing me towards the inevitable.  The memory is gone now and I’ll never get it back.

“They were so drunk when they came outside and I said something to rile Royce’s temper, and, well…

“When they were done, they left me there in the street.  No doctor could have saved me.  Except, of course, for Carlisle Cullen.”

She stared at me again and I could see that the careful blankness was just a cover for her eternal rage.  “When I came round from my change and Carlisle told me what I’d become, I cursed him for what he’d made me.  I asked if it was possible for our kind to have children and he told me we were immortal and unchanging – in a word, no.  I hated him for that.  The one thing that I’d ever dreamed of in life – a child of my own – was forever out of my reach.  I would have rather he left me to die.”

“I tried killing myself many, many times in my first few years in this life, even when Carlisle told me nothing would work.  I threw myself in front of cars and trains, hoping they would end me.  Needless to say, I did more damage to them than they did to me.  He purposely never told me about the Volturi until years later, when he was sure I wouldn’t go to them.

“Only when I found Emmett did I give up my quest for death.  Still, if someone gave me the chance to have a child then I would sacrifice anything for it.  Even Emmett.”

She let the words sink in and we lapsed into silence for long minutes.  I concentrated on winding my fingers together, aware of Rosalie’s perfect stillness beside me.

So much about her had just been made clear to me.  She hadn’t been saved from the jaws of death like the others, lucky to become immortal and more than human.  She’d lost her humanity and she hated it more than Edward did.  His only reticence he had was about the existence of their souls – that, and putting me in danger.  I doubted Rosalie cared about her soul.  She cared about everything that had been denied to her.

“Thank you for telling me your story,” I said finally, “but – ”

“Why?”

“Yeah.”

“I know that Edward, in his own way, has asked you to think about what you’re giving up to become one of us.  I’ve heard his reasons: more time with your parents, the chance to have human experiences, your soul.  I understand why some of those things are less important to you than being with him.  Attending a high school prom would certainly be at the bottom of my list of priorities.  I even understand why you’re willing to risk your soul – what does it even matter when we’re going to live for eternity?

“But you’re giving up more than a past and a present.  You’re giving up your  _future_.  Do you understand what you  _could_  have?  Every one of us, whether we would admit it or not, would give up what we are to be human again.  We all have our reasons, but this life isn’t worth eternity.  To grow old and die, to be able to change and grow and be part of the world – how could you not want that?”  Her eyes were blazing black, staring fiercely at me.  “Have you really considered what it is you’re giving up?”

“I have.” I let her words rest between us before I answered, picking my own words carefully. “Do you know my mom left my dad when I was a baby?”

She nodded warily.

“I love Renee, I really do, but she’d never win prizes for being a parent.  We moved around for years before we settled in Phoenix and everything was always done on one of her whims.  I realized when I was very young that I had to learn to take care of myself, because quite often Renee didn’t have the skills to do it.  I learned to cook and keep the house clean and get myself to school.  It was up to me to make sure that I had clean clothes to wear and my homework was done.  I didn’t resent her for the way she was, but I grew up very quickly.

“Then when I came to Forks…” I sighed.  “Charlie has spent so many years as a bachelor.  He tries to be a good father, but he’s never had the chance to learn like most people do, fumbling their way through.  He got me, fully-formed, when I was practically already an adult.  He just isn’t equipped to deal with me and he needs as much care as Renee does, in a way.

“So, you see, I feel like I’ve already done my stint as a parent.  It’s hard work and there’s nothing glamorous about it.

“Everything you’ve talked about – growing old, having children – they aren’t what I want.  If I could have them with Edward, then maybe, but since it’s not possible, I’m prepared to let them go.   The idea of death frankly scares me, and the idea of leaving Edward behind if I died scares me even more.  I know if he could become human again, for me, he would, but that isn’t an option.  I  _can_  change to be like him and to stay with him for eternity.  What I’m giving up doesn’t compare to that.”

She continued to stare at me with earnest, coal-black eyes, until she eventually gave a stiff, sharp nod.

“I hoped to convince you otherwise, but I had to try.”

“Thank you.  Really.”  It was the longest conversation we’d ever had and although my sympathy for her had swelled during her story, I knew we would never really be friends.  She would always resent me for willingly giving up what she wanted.

“Bella…where are you?”

Alice broke the spell by bounding into the garage, immaculately dressed and without a hair out of place.  “There you are!  I lost track of time earlier, but I’m ready for fun now.”

I couldn’t keep the vision of her and Jasper from swimming behind my eyes.  “ _Oh God_ ,” I whimpered, hiding behind my palms.  “I can’t look at you.  I just can’t.”

Rosalie snorted beside me.  “You’ll get used to it.  Constant exposure to it will see to that.”

“Great.”  I didn’t move my hands.

“Come on, Bella.  I have the entire series of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ ready to watch upstairs and five different flavors of ice-cream.”

I peeked between my fingers.  “I don’t like scary things.”

It was Alice’s turn to laugh at me.  “Bella, you’re engaged to a  _vampire_.”  I frowned at her and she shrugged.  “I don’t think ‘Buffy’ is scary, exactly, anyway.  It’s amusing how they got so much about us wrong, but apart from that it’s a good show.  And I’m not planning on mentioning or trying anything to do with clothes or beauty treatments either.”

“Really?”  I didn’t say it with surprise this time – instead, it was hope.

We settled in on the ultra-squishy couch Alice had bought after our first ‘slumber party’, and she presented me with a mini-freezer full of the promised ice-cream and a spoon.  The afternoon melted away like the Cookie Dough on my tongue.  I got snippy whenever Alice tried to interrupt the show to talk – how had I never seen this before?  She kept trying to bring up sex again and I just didn’t want to think about it after what I’d witnessed this morning.

“About earlier…”

“No, Alice, just no.”

“Well, I wanted to thank you.  I said in Italy that I’d get all the benefit of a horny Edward being around Jasper, and I have.  The wedding is my way of repaying you and I will be eternally grateful.”

“Then if you stop bringing it up, we can call it even.  Otherwise this bride will be too busy having therapy to attend said wedding.”

Halfway through the second season – just as it was getting riveting – Alice flipped the TV to black.  “I have to ask you something.”

“Is it about my trousseau?”  Alice had taught me the word a week ago.  I thought the concept of a whole new wardrobe for my honeymoon was preposterous.  She thought it was essential.

“Not at all.  This is serious.  Why have you still not told Charlie that you and Edward are getting married?”

“Alice, we’ve been back together less than a month.”  I was getting tired of this conversation.

“Yes, but it’s less than four months until your wedding.”

“I was hoping to tell him the night before the wedding actually.  That way he can’t try and do something drastic like shoot the minister so he can’t perform the ceremony.”

“Bella!”  Alice’s evil eye was almost as good as her puppy-dog eyes.

“Okay, truthfully, I was thinking of doing it tomorrow.  Charlie’s got the day off work and he won’t be going fishing.  We could take him to the diner or to the Smoke House, since he’s always in a better mood after a good meal, and with that many people around he can’t try and shoot Edward either.”

“Tomorrow.”  Alice’s eyes glazed over and she hummed for a few moments.  “It’ll probably go better if you tell him at home, but feeding him is an excellent move.” She clapped her hands.  “I’m so glad you decided to tell him!”  She flicked the DVD back to play and stood up.  “I’ll be back in a moment.”

I was too focused on the screen to care where she went.

 *******

“Alice, where’s Edward?”

It was full dark and I only had an hour and a half before my curfew.  I’d expected him back from hunting hours ago and now the ache that meant he was absent was insistent and unbearable.

“He’ll be back any minute.”

“But where’s he been?”

“Hunting.”  She looked far too innocent to be telling the truth, but I knew all too well that you couldn’t get a secret out of a vampire.

“Well, I’m going to his room to wait for him.  And I’m taking the Phish Food with me.”

“Please do.”  She wrinkled her nose up and I gave the spoon an exaggerated lick.

“Wow, Bella, I’m impressed.  Can I compliment you on your skills?  Or has Edward already done that?”

“I’m gone.  Night, Alice.”

Really, I wanted a few minutes to myself.  I’d become aware over the past hour of how my body was achy beyond my need for Edward.  Everything felt heavy and my stomach was knotting up with the barest of cramps.

My period had arrived.

I’d been expecting it, so I had supplies with me, and being on birth control meant my flow was light, but I was suddenly anxious at the prospect.  It had never been something that Edward and I talked about.  Before he left Forks, he’d hunt more around this time of the month and I would shower obsessively.  Actually talking about the situation hadn’t been something we’d ever attempted and for several days each month we danced around the elephant in the room.  I had no idea if the smell made me more or less appealing to him and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know the answer anyway.

Things were different now and they’d also become more complicated.  Barely a day had gone by since we’d reunited that we hadn’t been intimate and if I was being truthful, although I hated the thought of not being with Edward like that, I just couldn’t face it.  I felt bloated and messy and I just didn’t want to be getting naked.  I did  _not_  feel sexy.

A quick trip to the bathroom confirmed that my time of the month  _had_  arrived.  When I returned to the bedroom, so had Edward.

“Evening, love,” he greeted, swooping me up onto the bed so we lay stretched out facing each other.

“Mmm.” I stayed just out of reach of his lips, which were seeking mine.  “Where have you been?”

“Hunting.”

“For twelve hours.”  I cocked an eyebrow at him.  He brushed a quick kiss above it.

“Yes.  You see, I really wanted a mountain lion, but I had trouble finding one.  I should probably cut back; I think I might be endangering the population.”

I rolled away from him, leaving a good yard of space between us on the bed.

“I didn’t believe it when Alice said it either.”

He just smiled playfully in response, reaching out to run one finger along my collarbone.

“Edward, you know I hate surprises and you know I hate secrets.”

“This is neither,” he promised.  He looked so earnest I let it drop. “Did you have fun today?”

“I did…mostly.  I don’t want to talk about it.”  I desperately tried to think of anything other than a naked Alice and Jasper going at it in the hallway.  The memory had hit me with the force of a freight train when he asked and only the thought of a nude Edward eased it any.  “I have some good news of my own, but I don’t know if I want to share it since you’re keeping secrets.”

Edward slid over the sheets towards me.  “Maybe I could persuade you.”

I grimaced and he raised an eyebrow again in question.

“Never mind.”  Either he couldn’t tell my period had arrived or he was being too polite to mention it.   _Or_ he liked it, but I wasn’t going there.  “Anyway, I think we should tell Charlie tomorrow.”

If I didn’t know him so well, I’d have missed the half-second it took for him to react.  His face lit up in a radiant smile, his irises going a molten amber, radiating happiness, and he pulled me into an embrace, my face buried in his neck.

“Thank you,” he whispered in my ear.

It was easy to get swept up in his happiness, yet a small part of my brain was watching with interest.  He’d already known.  Maybe Alice had predicted this…but why pretend?

Nevertheless, he was doing a marvelous job of distracting me, loosing my hair from its ponytail so he could run his fingers through it and scattering feather-light kisses on my lips and jaw.

And the ache was gone.  All was right with the world.

“Everyone’s gone out,” he murmured, shucking his shirt and jeans in a flurry of movement, the only things I could make out being the flash of white and indigo.

I pulled away and rolled to the edge of the bed, rising to stand beside it.  “About that…”  Maybe he really couldn’t tell yet.  How could I resist him when he looked like this?  He’d gone commando again, so he was gloriously nude under the soft lights, his skin a study in creams and shadows.  It was ridiculous to compare him to the sculptures we’d seen in Italy, but he had that quality to him – sinuous, carved marble.  Despite that, he was infinitely more perfect and he looked like a sculptor’s dream come to life.

He reached for me again and I edged further away.  “Edward, you know it’s, um – ”

“I know,” he said softly.  “It doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t make me want to be with you any less.”  As if to demonstrate, he grasped himself in one hand and stroked.

My knees turned to water and I grasped the nearest bedpost for support.

“I don’t really…well…”  He was still stroking, his hips rocking gently to meet his fist.  Liquid glistened at the tip, and he coated his palm with it.  God, how could I turn away from him?  My body was willing but my mind remained reticent.  “Could I just watch?” I asked after a moment, resting my body against the mattress, unable to look away from the sight of white skin moving over white skin.

Watching him was something I’d been curious about since that shower in Florence.  Now seemed like the perfect time.

He gave a sigh of assent and moved his hand faster.  I couldn’t look away.

“Bella,” he moaned.  “I want to see you.”  He was watching my face, but his eyes flickered to my chest and I knew what it was he wanted.

This I could do.  I quickly lifted my shirt over my head, not trying for sexy because it would only end up as ridiculous and knowing it wouldn’t matter to him.  My bra was black this time and his breath hitched when he saw it.

“So lovely.  You have no idea how beautiful you are.”  He wasn’t being gentle – rather rough, in fact – but I knew the sight before me would surface in my dreams, the ones where I woke up breathless and needing him.

“Bella, would you lie down?  I want to try something.”

His voice was low, burred by the snarls he was trying to keep contained.  I obeyed, crawling back onto the bed and lying back against the pillows, letting my hair spill around me.  The sheets today were black and I knew how I must look with my pale skin against their shadows.  If I turned my head a fraction I’d be able to see myself in one of the mirrors, but my gaze was reserved for Edward.

“T’es si belle, Bella, comme un ange, mon ange.  Je t’aime tellement, tu peux pas t’imaginer…Je t’adore, ma puce.  Je t’adore.” I thought he might be speaking French but I didn’t understand the words.  He’d given himself over to the snarls and I could practically feel their vibrations rolling through my body, even though we weren’t touching.

The room was filled with my heavy pants – I wasn’t sure when my breathing had become so harsh and fast, but it had – and his constant, belly-deep growling.

“Your bra,” he commanded, and I didn’t hesitate in removing it, sliding the straps down my arms and curling the material away, letting it dangle from one hand before it fell to the carpet.

“Bella, I…”  His words broke off in a sharp yell and his head fell back, his mouth going slack.  With a violent jerk of his hips, he spilled out onto me in three long spurts, the cold spattering against my breasts and over my chest.  “I love you.”

He was all kisses again after that, pausing only to retrieve a box of tissues to wipe me clean with.  It was too soon that we had to dress so that I could drive back to Charlie’s – although naturally, he was waiting for me when I got home.

 *******

I had nearly everything I needed to cook Charlie the perfect roast dinner, except for potatoes and herbs.  My game plan was for Edward to join us on Sunday evening for the meal then we’d break the news to Charlie afterwards.  For this to work, I had to pay a visit to the grocery store again.

On the drive home, I noticed a familiar figure slouched outside the diner and pulled the truck into the parking lot.

“Embry!”  I waited until I was nearly in front of him to announce myself.  I wasn’t sure of my welcome.

“Oh, hey Bella.”  His smile seemed genuine, if not as friendly as it once had been.

I leapt in, letting my words fall over each other in my rush.  “Look, I know you’ve probably been told not to tell me, but Billy and Charlie aren’t talking and I just need to know he’s fine, okay?”

“I know.  Lucky for you, Sam hadn’t made it an official order.”  He was still wary, but he’d relaxed a little.  “Jake’s not healing as well as he should be, but he’s doing okay.  He’s walking around, but he can’t move for long or he gets tired, and he’s still scarred up when he just shouldn’t be.  They sent him North to Emily’s family to see a healer they know.  But he  _is_ getting better.”

“Thank you,” I said with fervent gratitude.  “Do you know when he’ll be back?”

He shrugged.  “Depends on what this healer has to do.”  And that, apparently, was as much as I was getting out of him.

“Okay, well, it was good seeing you.  It’s nice to not feel like public enemy number one.”  I leaned up to hug him, but he warded me off with his hands.

“Hey, Bella. I like you, but you still smell like a bloodsucker.”

I stepped back and dropped my arms.

“Fine,  _dog_.”  He narrowed his eyes as me, then let loose a loud howl.  I shook my head and headed back to the truck.  “Take care, Embry,” I shouted back to him as I climbed in.

Dinner was uneventful.  Charlie made thankful noises in all the right places and I watched Edward, trying to see where he was hiding the food.  I knew he was having to chew and swallow at least some of it, which gave me a savage kind of pleasure, considering I’d spent the whole afternoon cooking.

Afterwards, we all traipsed into the living room to watch a baseball game.  Edward and Charlie’s conversation was less stilted and carried more camaraderie than normal, I presumed because of the game.  They certainly seemed relaxed.  Edward was  _too_  relaxed, while I was sat here with my stomach churning, worrying about what we were about to do.

When the game ended, I flipped the TV to mute just as a newsreader came onto to talk about a murder in Seattle. ~~~~

“Ch – Dad, there’s something we wanted to discuss with you.”

He raised his eyebrows and shot a look at Edward but said nothing.  I shifted closer to Edward on the couch and he entwined our fingers.  I started on the speech I’d been rehearsing in my head for days.

“Since the accident, Edward and I have come to realize how much we mean to each other.  I was lost without him and to come so close to losing him forever was unbearable to me.  I know I’ll never want to be with anyone else, or be without him.”  I was impressed with how confident I sounded.  Inside I was cringing, waiting for the fireworks to start.

“Okay,” Charlie acknowledged, his expression solemn.

“So, it just made sense that we would want to confirm that to each other and to the world and, you know, to make it official.”

He didn’t even flinch.  Either he couldn’t see where this was going or he was having a very silent aneurism that was making him completely unresponsive.

“I mean, we’re getting married,” I blurted.

“Well, alright then,” he replied calmly.

“What?”

“I said, alright.”

“That’s it?”

“What did you expect, Bells?”

“I thought that – well, you wouldn’t be happy.  In fact, I thought you’d be furious.  Are you sure you’re okay?  You don’t need some time to process this?”

“I’m fine.  As a matter of fact, I already knew.”

“Wh –  _how_?”

He gave Edward another sidelong look.

“Well, yesterday I had a visit at the station from a young gentleman who was seeking my daughter’s hand in marriage.  He gave me a very heartfelt speech about how it was the right thing to do, how they belonged together and how he would do everything in the world to make sure she was the happiest woman on Earth.  I think he was aiming high with the last statement, but as a father I approve of the sentiment.  He also gave me full permission to shoot him and bury him in the forest if he ever failed her.”  This time when he looked at Edward, he smiled, as warmly as he’d ever smiled at Jake or Alice. “He talked me round.”

I turned to glare at Edward.  This was obviously where he’d been yesterday when he was ‘hunting’.  He shrugged.  “I was raised to believe it was the proper thing to do.”  He smirked at Charlie and I understood where all the camaraderie during the game had come from.  Edward had finally,  _finally_ got Charlie on side.

“Besides,” Charlie said, “it’s not me you should have been worrying about telling.  It’s your mother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Charlie finally knows! I hope none of you think it was anticlimactic but I never planned for Charlie to flip his lid. There will be drama enough from other sources.
> 
> If anyone is musing on the possibility that Victoria is alive, let me state clearly: she is dead. In a very permanent way.


	9. Shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Octoberland who corrected all my mistakes (I was a leetle bit tipsy when I typed this up), told me what I’d got wrong about America, and is just generally an amazing beta.

**Shadows**

Despite having told Charlie about the wedding, I was still putting off telling Renee.  Charlie was right; Renee was the one that would see this as a bad decision.  Charlie had, for better or worse, loved my mother and would have stuck by his marriage vows forever if he’d been able to.  If Renee had her way, the marriage would have never happened.

So I put if off and Edward was less insistent about telling her than he had been with Charlie.  Even Alice kept looking into the future whenever I decided to tell Renee and telling me “Maybe you should wait a little longer.”

“You’ve got mail,” Charlie said, tossing an envelope onto the table in front of me.  I barely glanced up from my toast, expecting it to be from Renee, but the envelope was too crisp and business-like for that.  “ _Miss Isabella M. Swan_ ” appeared in typed letters on the front.

Charlie was hovering, waiting for me to open it.  Clamping the toast between my teeth, I used my knife to slice open the paper, not willing to risk a paper cut.  I pulled the sheaves of paper free and unfolded them, reading quickly.

“It’s my acceptance for Vassar College,” I said.

“That’s good, right?”

“Sure.  It’s where I want to go.”  I feigned a smile and tossed the letter down, chewing slowly.

Truthfully, I’d forgotten all about the few college applications I’d sent off earlier in the year.  The future that I’d been contemplating when I wrote them was never going to come to pass now; I wasn’t planning on going to college at all in the near future.  Edward’s return had changed all of that.

“Alright, I need to head off.”  Charlie frowned at me, clearly not convinced by my false cheeriness.  “I’ll be home for dinner.”

As soon as he was gone, Edward let himself in through the back door.  He’d gone home to change as he did every morning and was now in a black t-shirt and my favorite new blue jacket.  He sat down on the other side of the table from me.

“Morning, love.  Receive anything interesting in the mail?”

“I’m sure Alice has already told you,” I replied, getting up to put my plate in the sink.  “Besides, it’s irrelevant now.”

“It doesn’t have to be, you know,” he murmured, pulling me to towards him by my hips and letting his hands settle on my butt.  He lifted my t-shirt up so he could kiss along my ribs and I giggled when he reached a ticklish spot.

“We’ve already decided this.  The sooner the better, remember?”

He looked up at me, lower lip jutting out in an exaggerated pout.  “You won’t even consider college?”

I bent down so our lips brushed against each other as I spoke.  “You shouldn’t pout when you’re over a hundred years old.”  I bit down on his lower lip, gently enough that it wouldn’t do any damage to my teeth but he’d still feel it.  He somehow managed to turn it into a proper kiss, pulling me onto his lap so as much of our bodies pressed together as they could like this.

When we broke apart, he slid me into the chair next to him.

“This is something we need to talk about, actually.”  His face was quietly serious.  “It’s not exactly a pleasant topic of conversation, but if you want to be changed sooner rather than later, we’re going to have to have it.”

“What is it?”

He frowned and took my hand, stroking his fingers along the back of it.  “I’ve been thinking about what we’ll have to tell your family when you change.  We need a cover story, so that no-one will think to question it when you disappear.”

I let out a gust of breath.  I knew it was an inevitably, but to be discussing it was very final.  “You mean faking my death?”

“I do.”  The furrow of his brow deepened and he reached up to run his fingers through my hair, stroking along the back of my neck.  If he was trying to soothe me, it was working.

“Do you have any thoughts about how we’d…do that?”

“I’ve mentioned it to Alice and Carlisle.  We thought that moving the entire family would be a good idea, since we’re nearing the end of our time in Forks anyway, and the North East works.  Carlisle can get a more prestigious job in one of the university hospitals and Esme will want to be near her children anyway, so it’s believable.  New England is also far enough away that Charlie and Renee won’t visit.  We can move out there straight after the wedding, and treat it as our honeymoon too.  Then during the honeymoon we’ll have an…accident.  One that leaves no bodies.   The rest of the family will stay where they are, and we’ll move on under new identities.”

I thought about it for a moment, twining my fingers again and again through Edward’s.  It had to be done but I knew what this would do to my parents.  I wanted immortality, but there were hard choices to be made on the way.  People around me would suffer and there was no way to avoid that.

“That sounds plausible, I guess.  So I accept the offer?”  I gestured to the letter.

“You probably should.  Even if we never make it to enrollment, at least there will be a paper trail that backs up our story.”

I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder.  “I’m glad I only have to do this once.”

“Are you sure I’m worth this?” he whispered, and when I glanced up I saw the doubt flit through his eyes.

“I’m sure.  If there’s anything in my life I’ve been sure about, it’s you,” I promised.

 *******

Charlie’s acceptance of Edward had led to a lot of baseball-watching sessions in our living room.  Edward didn’t care much for any other sport, but baseball, he’d informed me, had been his first true love, and he was glad he could share it with Charlie.  The true love comment earned him a few days in the doghouse, but I’d relented when he’d threatened to start buying expensive gifts to make it up to me.  As soon as the first bouquet of exotic flowers – half of which I didn’t know the names of – arrived, and I struggled to carry it into the house, I rang him to let him know we had a truce.  He’s also spent hours telling me that I was his one and only love and proved it by spending hours carefully exploring my body with his mouth.

Most of the time when Edward and Charlie were watching a game I spent time with Alice or Angela, but Angela was on a date with Ben, and Alice had delicately informed me that Jasper had a week’s worth of Edward-induced steam to burn off.  I was, apparently, welcome to hang out at the Cullens’ house, but I was afraid of what I might stumble upon.

It was easier to curl up on the couch next to Edward – not too close, in case Charlie’s trigger finger got itchy – and read “North and South” while they bantered over the game.  I also had a shiny new bar of Dairy Milk to soothe my irritation.

 _“In the latest shocking twist to this story, reports are emerging that a dozen or more bodies have been discovered in a warehouse on the outskirts of the city.  It’s looking increasingly likely that the police are dealing with a serial killer, and this discovery could link the disappearances of several city residents dating back months.”_

“I’m glad I’m not involved in this case,” Charlie muttered to no one in particular.

I glanced up from my book to see a ‘Breaking News’ ticker rolling across the screen.  A reporter stood on a rainy street, a crime scene tape behind him and several cops milling around in the background.

“Involved in what?” I asked.

“The murders in Seattle.”

I shook my head.  “I haven’t really been paying attention to the news.”  Edward had leaned forwards, apparently paying close attention to the t.v., which usually meant he was trying to focus on Charlie’s thoughts.

“There have been bodies turning up for a few weeks now.  The details haven’t been released, but apparently it’s pretty gruesome.  The cops in Seattle couldn’t connect the deaths at first, but this makes it looks like there’s a serial killer at work.”

I glanced at Edward, who was still deep in concentration.  “That’s horrible.”

Charlie sat back and cracked open another beer as the screen changed to the day’s sport’s highlights.  “For the time being, I don’t want you anywhere near Seattle.”

“We wouldn’t dream of it,” Edward replied.  The way his eyes flicked to me, I knew there was more to it.

“So, what is it?” I asked when we were bedded in for the night.

“What’s what?” he replied, trying to distract me by lapping at my neck.

“What was that about earlier?  You were paying far too much attention to that news story.”

He sat up and leaned back against the headboard, gathering me in his lap.

“I heard Charlie’s thoughts as he was explaining it to you.  He left a lot out to spare you the worst, but he has a couple of friends in the Seattle force that have given him some details.”

“So why are you worried?  It’s not like this killer can harm you, and I intend to stay far away from Seattle until he’s caught.”

“That’s a relief, actually.  But from what Charlie knows, I don’t think this is a  _human_  killer.”

“How did you figure…no, I don’t need to know.  Do you think it’s a vampire?”

“I do.  It sounds like a nomad, and most likely a newborn at that, given the chaos it’s leaving behind when it feeds.  The thing that worries me is that this could bring the Volturi to investigate.  This vampire is breaking our cardinal rule about not drawing attention to our existence, and sooner or later they will come to deal with it.”

“Why is that bad?  They come and get rid of the newborn, and the murders stop.  It’s better for everyone.”

He sighed.  “I don’t think it will be that easy.  I went to them to beg for my death, and then disappeared.  They know I’m not dead since Carlisle has been in touch, but they don’t know why I changed my mind.  They don’t even know why I wanted to die, and this would be a convenient reason for them to send the guards to call on us.  That exposes us to the risk of them finding out about you.”

“They don’t know about me?”

“No – I was very careful not to touch Aro when I petitioned them.  Aro is their leader, in a way, and he has the power to read every thought you’ve ever had, just through one touch of skin.  It’s impossible to keep secrets from him.  If they came here and discovered you, they would try to kill you.”

I shuddered and wound myself further into his embrace.  “So what are you going to do?”

“We’ll think of something.”

 *******

“You know you still have those tickets to Jacksonville?” Edward asked one morning on the way to school.  He’d been like a kid on Christmas morning when Carlisle had given him the ‘all clear’ to drive again.

“No, I’d forgotten about them, actually,” I confessed.  “I guess you hadn’t.”

“I have had other things on my mind, but they expire soon and I think we should use them.”

“There are a few flaws in that plan.”

He looked at me sideways.  We’d reached the school and he parked up, covering two spaces so no-one could get within scratching distance of the Volvo.  “Such as?”

“It’s  _Florida_ , in the summer.  I know I haven’t been to Florida but I have it on good authority that it’s a very sunny place.  Hence the nickname ‘The Sunshine State’.  That means you can’t go and I’m not going without you.”

He relaxed back into his seat.  “I wouldn’t expect you to, love.  I’m definitely going with you.  The good news is that Florida is due for some unseasonably wet weather next weekend, which would make it the perfect time for us to go.”

“And tell Renee about us?”  It wasn’t exactly the kind of vacation I was hoping for.  Chances were that telling Renee would put a damper on any fun.

“I think it will work better telling her face to face, rather than over the phone.  She’s only met me once and this will give her a chance to get know me.”

“What does Alice think?”

“I haven’t asked her.  Sometimes we have to make decisions without relying on her too much.”

“Alright.  I’ll run the idea by Charlie tonight.”

There wasn’t anything Charlie could do to stop me going, but now he and Edward were on good terms he was happy when I told him I was going.  He actually looked a little too happy, and I knew there was something he wasn’t telling me.

“If you want to arrange a fishing trip with Billy, dad, I wouldn’t be upset.”

“Has he apologized to you yet?”

“I haven’t even seen him.”

“It doesn’t matter.  He knows our phone number.  He’s in the wrong on this and until he makes amends, our friendship is on hold.”

Edward kept a close eye on the weather forecast all that week to ensure Florida was indeed going to be cloudy and Cullen-safe.  We arranged the flights to leave on Friday afternoon after school and come back on the Sunday.  It wouldn’t be much time at all with Renee – just under two days – but it might be better to get in, give the bad news and get out.

On Wednesday evening, Edward waited until after dinner to sit me down in the living room, my legs sprawled out over his lap and his arms round my hips.  Charlie was at work and we had the house to ourselves so I was confused as to why we were downstairs.

“You look serious,” I said.  “This can’t be good.”

“It’s nothing bad.  I just wanted to let you know what’s going to be happening while we’re in Jacksonville.  You hate it when I keep secrets so it’s better if I tell you up front and avoid the argument.”  He rubbed small circles on my lower back as he spoke.

“You’re learning.”  It was so hard not to melt into his touch. “What’s going to be happening then?  It has to be  _something_  for you to look so serious.”

“Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie will be scouting in Seattle for the rogue vampire.  They’re going hunting to try and resolve the situation before the Volturi come to investigate.”

“Is that safe?  I mean, Alice is tiny – what if they get into a fight?”

“Bella, you  _never_  have to worry about Alice.  For a start, she can always see an attacker coming and she can handle herself in a fight, dainty as she may look.  Plus, Jasper would never leave her unprotected.”

“Is he any good in a fight, though?”  I couldn’t picture it; he was usually so calm and quiet, and he was as lean as Edward.  I know how deceptive that was, but if he was up against another vampire that wouldn’t matter.   The only person I would be happy throwing into a physical brawl was Emmett.

Edward chuckled.  “Yes, you could say that.  I’ll have to tell you why sometime.  If they find this vampire, with Jasper and Alice’s extra abilities it doesn’t stand a chance.”

“But what if they get separated?  What if the rogue has extra powers that we don’t know about?  What if it can block their powers?”

“Sssssh, love.”  He brushed a kiss on my forehead, breathing out so I inhaled his scent and relaxed.  “You’re getting worried about nothing.  Powers are extremely rare in vampires.  The only thing that gives the rogue any possible advantage is if it’s a newborn like we think it is, and between the four of them they can handle one newborn.”

“What’s so special about a newborn?”

“They’re stronger than other vampires.  It’s something to do with them still having their own blood – human blood – in their bodies from their change.  It gives them more strength until their body uses it all up.”

“Edward – that makes things worse!”  I was imagining tiny Alice up against an Emmett-sized being that was actually stronger than Emmett.  How could she possibly survive against that?

“It doesn’t.  Newborns have their weaknesses.  They rarely know how to kill another vampire permanently and they lack the ability to think during a fight.  Their minds are so clouded by bloodlust that they react completely on instinct and when you’re up against an experienced vampire that’s a critical flaw.  Jasper is a master of strategy, so he’s running the whole mission.  Everyone will be perfectly fine.  We need to concentrate on winning your mother over in Jacksonville.”

I let it drop but my dreams that night featured dark city streets and a tiny sylph-like girl being stalked by a giant, flesh-eating monster.  You didn’t need Freud to work out what it meant.  It was the first time since Edward’s return that I’d woken up screaming and even as he hummed me back to sleep my mind whirled with all the things that could happen to my family.

Because that’s what they were now, and I couldn’t bear the thought of harm befalling any of them.

 *******

“Good evening, Bella,” Jasper greeted me from the doorway of the Cullen house.

“Hi.  Where is everyone?”

Edward had disappeared to hunt after school and asked me to come to the Cullens’ after dinner.

“Still hunting.  Edward asked me to spend a little time with you and explain a few things to put your mind at ease.”

“Oh.  Sure.”  I couldn’t remember ever spending time with Jasper and I suspected this was on the back of my conversation with Edward last night.

“Shall we?”  He waved me through to the living room and we sat down opposite each other.

“First of all,” he began, “I want to apologize for my behavior on your birthday.”

“Really, you don’t have to, it – ”

“But I’d like to.  I know I struggle with my bloodlust more than the others but I was still the only one who tried to harm you.  I’m sorry for that and I’m sorry for everything that happened as a result.  I’m working to be stronger.”

“Well…thanks.”  He shifted in his seat, more than a vampire would need to.  “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“Not at all.  I’ve grown used to your scent since we returned and the house usually smells like you now – it makes things easier.”

“No, I mean – I know Edward’s, um, emotions have been making you uncomfortable lately.  I just hope I’m not doing the same thing.”

“Bella, as intense as your emotions are, they are nothing compared to a vampire’s.  I can tell when you feel the same way that Edward does but it isn’t as intense.  At the moment, Edward is so immersed in his desire for you that it’s as strong as my own emotions.  One day – soon, so I hear – you’ll understand what the difference is between the way you feel and the way we feel.”

“That’s good to know.  What was it that you wanted to tell me about…or what did Edward ask you to talk to me about?”

He smiled.  “You know him so well.  He told me earlier on that you had concerns about our upcoming trip to Seattle and what might happen to us.”

“I’m worried what would happen to Alice if she ended up against a newborn.”

“And I thank you for your concern, but believe me when I say it’s not necessary.  There’s nothing on Earth that I would ever allow to harm a hair on her head, and I’m more than capable of following through on that.  Did you know I was a Major in the Civil War?”

I shook my head.  “I wasn’t sure how old you even were.  I knew you came from the South – the accent kind of gives it away – and I knew that you joined the family after Alice’s change, but that’s all.”

“Well, now you know how old I am.  And for the record, it was Texas.  I was a young Major, but I’d proven my skill.  I was a good leader, a good fighter, a good strategist, and a good Southern boy.  I believed in what we were fighting for and I thought that would get me through the war.

“It might have done as well, but as is the case with many a man, a pretty face was my downfall.  I was lured by the beauty of a woman, a woman I found out five minutes after meeting was actually a vampire.  The moment I found that out was the end of my human life.

“The vampires of the Southern states lived differently to the way the Cullens live, or nomads live, or even the way the Volturi live in their bloodthirsty refinement.  The cities were at war with each other, each one headed by one vampire and protected by an army.  It’s why I was chosen to become a vampire.  They saw me in my uniform, deduced my rank and targeted me.”

“What were they at war for?”

“The same reasons most wars come about – land, power.  A handful of vampires wanted to control large territories and have free-reign with what they did with humans in their domains.  They’d all been created in this new world and didn’t see the Volturi as a true threat.

“I lived for years as one of these armies.  People were taken at random and changed to see if they had what it took to fight.  There were a lot of deaths and disappearances, which were mostly passed off as illness by the humans but anyone who knew what they were looking for could see what was happening.  Most newborns died within days in fights over scarce food supplies, torn apart by each other.  Only the strongest survived, and then survived again when the armies met for battle.  I didn’t know any other way.  I thought this was how vampires lived for the longest time, in that violent corner of hell.  In the end whispers came to us that there was another way and I left with a handful of others to become a nomad.

“It was fortunate that I left when I did.  Not long afterwards the Volturi guard came and cleared up the cities.  The armies had drawn too much attention and the Volturi destroyed them all.”

I struggled to suppress a shudder.  The more I heard about the Volturi, the more I knew that I didn’t ever want to come face to face with them.

“I was born out of blood and fire, Bella, and those were the only things I knew for over a century.  I’ve been near torn-apart many times and had to, literally, piece myself back together.  Believe me when I say that one newborn – one dumb enough to leave a trail as clear as this one has – will not best me.”

“Fine,” I said.  “I trust you to keep everyone safe.”

“Glad to hear it.  Now, has anyone ever taught you how to play Texas Hold ‘Em?”

 *******

The weather in Jacksonville was miserable, as promised, although it was still degrees hotter than Forks.  The sky hung above like a piece of wet slate, without even a hint of sunshine, yet I felt like I was walking through the cloying, oppressive air of an oven.  It had me running for the bathroom repeatedly, paranoid about Edward being able to smell perspiration.

“I don’t mind,” he said as I emerged from yet another shower.  “It’s just part of your scent – you don’t smell bad.  It’s the same as when we make love, so it definitely has positive associations for me.”

“I’m fairly sure that if you were human you’d have some very kinky fetishes,” I told him.

He was definitely a boon at night, when I could sleep sprawled across his body, which was better than air conditioning at keeping me cool.  Renee was more liberal than Charlie and had expected us to share a bed, although we were as quiet as we could be.  The house was on one level, only the hallway separating my room and hers, and I didn’t want my mother to hear my bedsprings squeaking.  She made one comment on the matter.

“Are you still on birth control?  I just want to know that you’re being safe.”

She knew me too well to press for other details and I knew her well enough that she wanted them.

We spent Saturday at the beach and on the waterfront.  I hadn’t come all this way to not spend any time on the sand, although I didn’t brave the water.  Swimming was not a skill of mine and I expected it was freezing anyway.

Edward charmed Renee, using her thoughts against her to bring up topics of conversation she’d enjoy and throwing out compliments that she lapped up.  He displayed his manners to full effect by way of constant opening of doors, pulling out of chairs and carrying of shopping.  He even insisted on paying for dinner at an up-market seafood restaurant for us all.  I somehow spent most of my time talking to Phil as Edward regaled Renee with tales of my latest incidents of klutziness and how well I was doing at school.  I could see Renee melting towards him.

She cornered me on Sunday morning while cooking breakfast.  Really, I was cooking and she was doing the few things I trusted her to get right.

“I like him, Bella.  When we met before he struck me as a very intense young man – maybe a little too intense – but I suppose that was because of the situation.  He’s certainly devoted to you.  Do you know, I asked him where he was planning to go to college and he told me he was going wherever you went.”

And here it came.

“Bella, sweetheart, you know you’re both very young – ”

“I love him, mom, and he loves me.  Of course we’re going to plan a future together.”

She opened her mouth to say something else, a glint of realization in her eyes, but Phil interrupted us in his eagerness for pancakes.

“We can’t leave it much longer,” I told Edward as I dressed.  “I think she might have guessed anyway.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed she’s very perceptive.  For all my charms, she doesn’t like getting too close to me.  I suppose that whatever went wrong in your brain to make you fearless around vampires wasn’t inherited from her.” I threw a sneaker at him, which he caught without even looking.  “She’s noticed how close we are too, especially the way I watch you all the time, and it worries her.  I’ve tried to modify my behavior so I look a _little_  less obsessive, but it hasn’t been easy.”

I sighed.  “This doesn’t bode well.”

Phil and Edward had, naturally, bonded over their love for baseball and we ended up watching a game as rain lashed down outside.

“I could have stayed in Forks for this,” I grumbled to no-one in particular.  Even Renee was enthusiastic.  Apparently, marrying a ball player had given her a passion for sport.

To save me from cooking and to spare all of us Renee’s cooking, we ordered Chinese food and the baseball talk spilled over to the meal.  I watched everyone’s plate empty with growing trepidation.  There was no way this was going to end well.

“Mom, there’s something Edward and I need to talk to you about.”

Her lips set in a thin line and I caught Edward’s eye over her shoulder.  The flash of alarm across his face didn’t quell my nerves.

“I’ll be in the garage, checking the Mustang’s engine,” Phil said and beat a hasty retreat.

“So,” Renee prompted.  We remained at the table and I gripped Edward’s hand in mine.

“First off, I’m not pregnant.”

“That’s good to hear,” she said drily.  “There’s only one other thing that you would want to say like this and I know what it is because I did the same when I was your age.”

I couldn’t meet her eye.

“Bella, honey, you’re not going to like what I’m about to say but please hear me out.  I’ve seen the way you two are together.  I know it’s intense and I know right now you think it’ll always feel like that.  But things change.  You haven’t got long until you go to college and your life will change so much that what feels right _now_  might not feel right later on.”

“Mom, college isn’t going to change the way I feel about Edward.”

“I’m not saying it will.  I know you love each other.  You don’t have to get married to prove that.  You can have a wonderful relationship without marriage and if you still feel the same way a few years down the line you can make it official then.  You can even be engaged right now if you want, but marriage is too big a commitment.  There’s no earthly reason for you to jump into that at your age.”

Edward was stroking the palm of my hand with this thumb and I focused on that feeling.  She was right, there _was_  no ‘earthly’ reason.  How could I explain this to her when I couldn’t tell her the most important details?

“That’s not what we want.  I nearly lost him a few months ago and I never want to go through that again.  This isn’t about time, because time will change nothing.  None of us know how much time we have left and I don’t want to waste a second of it waiting for some unknown point in the future.  We belong to each other and marriage is what we both want.”

“Bella, please don’t do this.  I have nothing against you, Edward, but I barely know you and I don’t think this is a good idea at all.  Please don’t make the same mistake I did.”

“I’m not you.  This isn’t a mistake.”

“Bella is my life,” Edward said.  “You say you don’t know me, but you know Bella.  You know how constant she is and you must have seen how she was when we were apart.  This isn’t something that will change for either of us.  She’s it for me.  She’s my life.”

“You can’t possibly know that!  You’re both eighteen years old.  Life is going to change so much over the next few years and one day you’ll wake up and realize that you wish you’d chosen differently.”

I was choking back tears and gripping Edward’s hand so hard I thought my bones might crack.  “Mom, this is going to happen whether you like it or not.  You’re wrong about us and I wish there was a way to prove it to you.  We didn’t come here for your blessing but I’d like it anyway.”

“Oh, Bella.”  Renee was clearly trying not to cry as well.  “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can give it.  If you just waited a few years…”

I was really crying now, burning tears pouring down my cheeks and I felt someone lifting me from the chair.

“I think it’s best if we leave,” I heard Edward say.

“If you think so,” Renee replied.  “I love her too Edward and I only want what’s best for her.  Do you hear that Bella?  I love you.  It’s why I can’t agree with this.”

I cried all the way to the airport, not even sure why I was so upset, and passed out on the plane.  Edward shook me awake gently when we landed at Sea-Tac and I drowsed in the car on the way back to Forks.  It was only when I was in my own bed, nestled against him that I began to rise out of the fog.

“I’m sorry.  I don’t know why I’m so upset,” I said to him.  “I mean, I know I wanted her to be happy for us but I was prepared for her to not be.  It’s not like she was angry or nasty about it.  I even understand  _why_ she isn’t happy.  It just…hurts.”

He rearranged our bodies so our faces were inches apart on the pillow and ran a thumb over my cheek, following the smudge-lines left by my tears.

“Of course you’re upset by this,” he murmured.  “First of all, she’s your mother and you’ll always want her approval.  Then, this is one of the last times you’ll ever see her.  Even if it she comes to the wedding and sees you off to college, you have a limited amount of time left with her.  Instead of getting to enjoy that time, it ended like this.”

“What am I going to do?  I can’t leave things like this.”

“Talk to her, just like you always have.  We have a few months to win her round.  I promise you that she’ll be at the wedding, whether she agrees with this or not.”

His cell phone beeped and he cursed, reaching into his jeans to retrieve it.  “It’s a message from Carlisle,” he mumbled, flipping the phone open to read it.  His expression changed to register alarm.

“We have to go.  He wants us at the house now.”

We were out of the bed and at the window before I had time to register anything more than the panic rising in me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo…more angst. Hopefully not too heartfail though. I am planning to start a series of outtakes from this story, which will mainly be fluffy/smutty moments (okay, they’ll be 99% smutty) that don’t fit the flow of this story. If you have any suggestions of what you’d like to see, review or PM me and I’ll consider it.


	10. Confrontations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s chapter 10. Don’t forget to let me know if there’s a particular outtake you want to see, as I’ll start posting those when the story is done.
> 
> Thanks to Octoberland beta-ing, and to everyone who reads, reviews and recs.

**Confrontations**

From a distant room in the Cullen house, a clock chimed twelve times, signaling midnight.  We arrived on the last stroke, and Edward paused long enough only to place me on a chaise longue before striding to where Carlisle waited in front of the ornamental fireplace.

We were gathered in the living room, every member of the Cullen family seated on the pristine sofas except for Carlisle and Edward.  I glanced around to inventory for injuries, but they all looked unscathed, if unsettled.  I’d panicked for the entire run through the forest after Edward scooped me out of the bed and leapt from my window.

“Why are we here, Carlisle?” Edward asked.

“Alice has had a vision,” Carlisle stated quietly, tipping his head in her direction.  She was curled up next to Jasper, fingers pressed to her temples and her eyes focused on another reality.

Edward’s eyes snapped to her too, and I knew the moment he saw what she did.  His eyes widened, black swallowing the irises and he took the few short strides to the sofa she sat on, before falling to his knees beside her.  He went utterly still.

“Edward?” I said, my voice more than a little shrill, and Esme leaned over to stroke my arm, her expression trying to tell me it was okay.

“Carlisle?” I asked.  Edward’s stare was as blank as Alice’s. “What are they seeing?”

“You know that some of us have been hunting a rogue vampire in Seattle?”

“I do.  I thought when you called that someone had been injured, but you’re all okay.  Is Alice seeing someone being hurt in the future?”

“Yes – not by the rogue, but hurt nonetheless.  We failed to find the killer this weekend, and we think that failure contributed to what Alice has seen.”

“What is it?”

“The Volturi coming to Seattle.”  Alice’s voice was as high and delicate as windchimes, but her words were far less sweet.  When I looked at her, her gaze was back in the present.  “If we fail to deal with this vampire, the Volturi guard will be coming here.”

I couldn’t suppress the shudder that went through me at their name.  After everything Edward had told me about them, and the way the Cullens instinctively feared them, their presence had to be a bad thing.  “That’s not all, is it?”  I asked.

She shook her head.  “They’re going to use the trip as an excuse to check on Edward, since he disappeared from Volterra.  They’re going to check on all of us.  They know about our special abilities and that makes some of us an attractive prospect for Aro.  He likes to collect those of us with powers.”

“They don’t know about me,” I whispered.  Edward had said as much.  He’d even said they would kill me if they found out.

“I saw them killing you,” Alice said softly.  “He’s seen it too.”

I slipped off the chair and moved over to where Edward knelt, crouching beside him.  “But we know.  That means we can plan around it, and stop it happening, right?”

“As best we can,” Carlisle confirmed.

“So what options do we have?”

“We fight them,” Emmett offered, brightening at the prospect, and Jasper nodded beside him.  Jasper had one arm wrapped around Alice and she leaned into him, soothed by his embrace despite the tension in her eyes.  He had to be carrying the weight of both Alice and Edward’s distress right now, but Alice’s comfort was more important to him than escaping from it.

“We can’t,” she said.  “When they find out about Bella, if we fail to hand Bella over when they tell us to, she won’t be the only one that dies.  Most of us will.  They’re coming ready for a fight – Caius doesn’t trust us.”

I ignored the finger of ice tracing down my spine.  I couldn’t give into my fear right now.

“How many of the guard are coming?” Esme asked.

“Not many, but the ones that are coming are the very best – enough to defeat us if they needed to,” Alice murmured.  “Aro hasn’t quite decided yet, but he wants to choose the ones that can back us into a corner.  He wants Edward and me to return with them to Volterra, at least.  That will be the main reason for them coming here.”

“How much time do we have?” Jasper asked, taking Alice’s hand as she squeezed her eyes shut.

“It’s hard to tell.  It’s sunny on the day it happens and there are flowers out that only bloom in summer.  Wherever we meet them, it’s in the forest.”

“So we know it’s soon, but we don’t know how soon,” Esme said.

“I’ve tried seeing more but for now it’s too indistinct.  They haven’t completely made the decision yet and until they do, it’s too blurry to see the details.”

“We definitely don’t want to wait until you can see those details,” Esme replied.  “By then it may be too late.  But what can we do?”

“Would bringing my change forward make a difference?” I suggested. Carlisle opened his mouth to respond but my words seemed to have awakened Edward from his trance.

“No, no, NO!”  Edward was on his feet and against the wall, his arms wrapped around me so my back was pinned to his chest before I could take a breath.  He trembled against me, fine tremors that shook through me. “I’m not going to rush this.”

“It might be for the best,” Esme tried to reason.

“Absolutely not.  I won’t do it until we planned to.  We can’t do that because we have to, we’ll do it when the time is right and Bella is sure.”

“It will draw more attention anyway,” Alice said, “if Bella just disappears.”

“Perhaps Edward is right,” Carlisle said softly.  “It might look like we are extending our family and give the Volturi even more reason to want to eliminate us.  If Bella is a newborn they may even accuse her of being the one that has been killing in Seattle.”

“If Bella was a newborn, it might give us an edge in the fight,” Jasper argued.  Edward snarled in his direction and the sound so close to my ear made me jump in shock.  A moment later a wave of calm washed over us.  Edward’s trembling eased and his grip on me loosened, his tension melting away.  “I know what you’re doing,” he grumbled at Jasper, who stared benignly back at us.  I mouthed “thank you” at him.

“Edward, we need to discuss this calmly,” Carlisle said.  “I understand that you’re upset, but if we want to protect Bella, we all need to keep our heads.”

“Even with the extra person, it wouldn’t help against the Guard.  We all know what they’re capable of,” Alice argued.  “If we try to fight them, we won’t win.”

“There is another option,” Rosalie offered quietly.  Every eye in the room turned to her.  “Bella goes to live with her mother.  When the Volturi come, she won’t be here to kill.”

“Renee lives in Florida,” I pointed out.  “It would be completely impossible for Edward to move there – ”

“Is that so bad?” she cut in.  “You could have some time apart and live as a human for a little longer.”

“Stop pressing the issue,” Edward snapped at her.  “I know what you want her to do and it’s not your decision.”

She glared at him.  “This situation is  _exactly_  the sort of thing that happens when you make impetuous decisions – like going to the Volturi and asking them to kill you.  You only ever think about what  _you_  want and how  _you_  feel, consequences be damned.”

“That’s enough, Rosalie,” Carlisle interrupted.  She and Edward continued to glare at each other and I took the opportunity to speak.

“Rose, I’m not leaving him.  We have a plan for how we’re going to handle my change and we need to stick to it if we don’t want to raise suspicions.  Moving to Florida will make everything much harder.” I almost mentioned the situation with Renee, but the words caught in my throat.  “Besides, I don’t want to leave Charlie when I have so little time left with him as it is.”

“Even if she left, the Volturi would be able to smell her if they came to the house,” Jasper pointed out.

“That one’s easy to explain away,” Emmett replied.  “We’ll just say that you got thirsty and snacked on a tourist.”

“Why would it be me?  You’re as likely to snack on someone inappropriate as I am!”

“What’s it worth?”  Emmett reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet.

“Can we focus on what’s important?” Edward demanded.  “Bella isn’t going anywhere that I can’t keep her safe.”

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot you’re a danger magnet,” Emmett said to me, tucking his wallet away again. “Things are never dull with you around, Bella.   Life would be much less interesting if you moved away.”  Edward snarled at him and another wave of calm swelled over us.

“Stop that,” Edward spat at Jasper.  “If you had found this rogue already, we wouldn’t be having his conversation.”

“Jasper,” Carlisle said, “I think you need to explain what happened this weekend.  Maybe Bella would like to get more comfortable?”

Edward didn’t move, but his arms were loose enough around me that I could wiggle out of them.  “Come back to the chair,” I murmured, tugging on his hand.  He was fighting his instinct to stay still and was only moving because I wanted him to, but I led him back to the chaise and got him to sit down next to me.  He slipped an arm round my waist and pulled me between his legs, burying his face in the curve of my shoulder, where I could feel him taking deep breaths.  He was holding me as close as he possibly could.

“The weekend was frustrating,” Jasper began.  “We hunted the city in one group and then as pairs, but we couldn’t find any trace of another vampire.  We covered nearly every inch of Seattle and there was nothing.  None of us are innate trackers but given the way this vampire has been feeding all over town, we should have caught a trace of its scent.”

“Could the killer be human then?” I asked.

He shook his head.  “No, this is definitely a vampire.  We managed to find another body this morning, so fresh it was still warm, and I can tell you that no human could have done what this killer did.  A human killer would have left a scent as well, but there was none at all.”

“That’s not possible,” Edward said.

“Before this weekend, I’d have said the same, but it is.  It has to be.  And there is a way for it to be possible – I think this vampire has a skill.  Just like some of us are good trackers, some of us have to be good at hiding themselves or escaping.  I think our killer has the ability to mask its presence and go places without leaving any trace of themselves behind.”

Edward had assured me that vampire abilities were rare, told me how unlikely it was that the rogue would have something to use against the Cullens.  How wrong he’d been.  A sudden thought occurred to me.

“Wait, you said the vampire is good at escaping?”  Everyone looked at me.  “The wolves said Victoria was like that.  She was really good at evading them – it was almost uncanny.”  Edward’s grip tightened on me at the sound of Victoria’s name.

“Victoria’s dead,” Alice protested.  “I saw it.”

“Jake said she was too…but what if she isn’t?  What if we’re wrong?”

Jasper leaned forward.  “Did they ever mention not being able to follow her scent?”

“I don’t think so.  In fact, I’m sure they mentioned being able to smell her.  But maybe this ability doesn’t work on them, like Alice’s visions are blocked?”

The troubled look on everyone’s face told me that the idea wasn’t being dismissed out of hand.

“Is there any way to check this with the wolves?” Carlisle asked.

“I could phone one of them to ask.”

“It’s certainly something to consider,” Carlisle said.  “The question is, why would she be in Seattle, and why would she need to feed like a newborn?  She knows as well as anyone that it would lead the Volturi to her.”

“Maybe she’s hoping to lead them here to kill Bella and the rest of us, and she wants to rely on her skill to escape from them,” Emmett suggested.  Alice just shook her head at us all.

“She’s  _dead_.”

“It won’t hurt to check,” Jasper said, running a thumb over her cheek.  “If she had to piece herself back together, she’d be ravenous.  I’ve only had to reattach limbs, but even that left me with a crippling thirst.”

I was glad that Edward’s arms were so tight around me.  If that had happened, Victoria would be angrier than ever.  She might have completely lost her mind, but I knew she’d still be after me.  Between her and the Volturi, I’d be lucky to survive the summer.

“So what do we do?”  Edward demanded.  “We need to keep the Volturi away from Washington.  How do we do it?”

“I’ll contact Aro and tell him we’re dealing with the rogue,” Carlisle suggested.  “It might not stop them coming here indefinitely, but it may delay them long enough.”

“We keep hunting for the rogue, then,” Jasper said.  “Alice will keep checking the future so we’ll know immediately if we have to take action.”

Everyone murmured agreement.  A yawn slipped out as I did.  Now that the adrenaline was fading, sleep was creeping up on me.

“I need to get you home,” Edward whispered.

“Mmmkay,” I mumbled, settling into his arms as he lifted me from the chair.  “I’ll be back later to discuss our strategy,” I heard him say.

“We’ll start hunting in Seattle again from tomorrow,” Jasper promised.

The cold night air jolted me from my half-sleep but within minutes I was tucked up in my bed, curled beside Edward.  Despite knowing that he would brood all night about what he’d seen, I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

 *******

I didn’t want to get up the next morning, but Edward coaxed me out of the bed and in the direction of the shower with kisses and promises.  He was being very affectionate, and I knew exactly why.

“Was it that bad?” I asked as I let the water run, waiting for it to heat up. He didn’t need me to clarify that I was talking about Alice’s vision.

He gathered me to him, tucking me under his chin so I could nuzzle into the hollow of his throat.  “I’ve seen many things in my existence, but that was the worst,” he murmured, an edge of distress to his voice.  “They won’t just kill you, they’ll torture you to try and convince me to go to Volterra with them.”  He brushed a soft kiss on my forehead.  “I would do whatever it takes to ensure it doesn’t come true.”

We stood for a moment, breathing each other in, letting the weight of our bodies pressed together remind us that we were here, and we were whole.

“You seem calmer now.”  I stepped back so I could look at his face.  His irises were the soft amber I preferred.  Black eyes could signal lust, but more often they showed hunger, anger or fear.  I wished for him to never feel any of them.

“I am.  Just being able to hold you as you slept helped, and knowing that we’ve got plans in place did too.  You didn’t sleep well, though.”  His thumbs gently swept under my eyes, where I probably had Cullen-worthy dark circles.

“I think I had bad dreams again,” I admitted.  “I suppose that’s to be expected after yesterday, though.”

“You talked in your sleep – nothing I could really piece together to make sense, but when you spoke, you sounded so scared and lost.  I wanted to wake you, but you needed to sleep.”

“Even if you had woke me up, when I went back to sleep the dreams would have been the same.”

“I wish I could protect you from your dreams,” he whispered. “You have nothing to be afraid of. I won’t let anything harm you.  Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper are heading back to Seattle today, and Alice is going to keep an eye on their futures while we’re at school.  She’ll warn them by phone if she needs to, but so far it looks like the next few days will be as unfruitful as the weekend was.”

“It’s not just that,” I said.  “It’s the situation with Renee, too.  The way she reacted wasn’t unexpected, but I wish it hadn’t gone like that.  I’m worried that this is how it will be when I become one of you, and it scares me to think I might never make things right with her.”

“It will work itself out,” he promised.  “She loves you, and she just wants to see you happy.”

“I know,” I whispered.  I stepped back to test the water temperature, which was now perfect.  “I suppose we’re just going to have get on with everything and deal with anything that happens when it does.  Or, when Alice warns us it’s going to happen.  I’m too tired for any more drama right now.”

 *******

I saw so much less of Alice and the other Cullens after that point – they were constantly in Seattle, often uncovering bodies before the police did, but still unable to locate a scent to track the killer down by.

I went back to worrying about their safety.

The nightmares had returned, and the flesh-eating monster I’d dreamt of before had morphed into a silent, shadowy figure that skulked behind the form of the small girl before leaping out to wrench her head from her body.  Whenever I woke gasping for breath, panting too hard even to scream, Edward would rock me back to sleep, humming my lullaby.  It helped a little, but I was getting less and less sleep nowadays.

It was so bad that one morning I got sent home from school when my pounding headache caused me to burst into tears.  Edward was excused to drive me home, since I didn’t have the truck, but he had to go back to class as soon I’d taken painkillers and curled up under the comforter.

The sound of the front door slamming some time later woke me.  I peered at my alarm clock – it was about the right time for Charlie to come home and get something to eat for lunch.  He’d done that sometimes when he was on a long shift.  I could hear two voices, but the other person was probably a deputy he’d brought along.  In the summer I’d done a lot of cooking for Forks Police Department.

I decided to go down and say hello, since the headache had all but cleared.  It took a few moments to convince my limbs to move, but at least I was still dressed, if rumpled, so I could stumble straight out of bed and into the hallway.

When I got to the top of the stairs, I realized one of the voices belonged to a woman.  Her words were indistinct but the voice was definitely feminine.  As far as I knew, all the cops in Forks were male.  Charlie had invited a woman over?  This was unprecedented.  One stair creaked under my foot and the conversation in the kitchen stopped.

“Bells?  Are you home?” Charlie called up.

“Yeah, it’s me,” I replied, reaching the foot of the staircase.

When I got into the kitchen, Sue Clearwater was at the stove, stirring a pan of something that smelled heavenly.

“How come you’re home?”  Charlie asked, rubbing the back of his neck.  It was a sign he was feeling awkward.

“Headache.  It’s not so bad now; I think I’ll head back to school.”

“Would you like to stay for some stew?” Sue asked.

I threw a questioning look at Charlie.  “Uh, Bells, Sue works at the station now.”

“It gets me out of the house when the kids are at school,” she said over her shoulder.  “Then I found out Charlie was going to the diner every day for his lunch and started bringing him in leftovers.”

“The diner?”  I echoed, raising an eyebrow at Charlie.

“Exactly.”  Sue finally looked over, her expression inscrutable.  “This community needs you healthy and strong.  Besides, it’s not like I’m having to do any extra cooking – I’m making enough to feed a small army right now.  The kids are eating like wolves nowadays.”

She caught my eye as she said the last then turned back to the stove.  I couldn’t tell whether she was in on the wolves’ new anti-Bella stance, but she clearly knew about the pack.  Did she mean that Seth and Leah had phased?  That couldn’t be possible – Seth was only fifteen, and the way Jake had once described it to me, I thought all the wolves were male.

“Are you staying?” Charlie asked, and I nodded, sitting down as Sue dished out three bowls of the stew.  I ate in silence, pondering her words and trying to get a read on her while she and Charlie carried on a conversation about nothing in particular, bantering about stuff that had been happening at the station.  Charlie’s gaze rarely left her face.  This was obviously already a habit between them – they were comfortable with each other.  She’d only lost Harry two months ago, which meant it was too soon for her to be moving on, but it was clear that Charlie liked her.

My father had a crush.  Life just kept getting weirder.

I could see what he liked about Sue: you couldn’t exactly call her pretty but she was striking to look at, and she had a warm, no-nonsense approach that was instantly likeable.  I remembered Quil once describing her as a ‘MILF’.  She could cook, too, which would be on Charlie’s wish list.

“Let me help you wash up,” I said as she started collecting the dishes after we’d finished eating.

“I have to make a call,” Charlie said, “I’ll be a few minutes.”  He disappeared into the living room.

This left me and Sue alone.  I turned away from her stare and picked up a towel

“He’s really worried about this killer in Seattle, you know,” she said, soaping a pan up.  “He’s calling a friend in the SPD.”

“You know the killer in Seattle is a vampire, right?” I whispered.

She frowned.  “We’ve all suspected it, but Sam won’t listen.”

“Well, I have a theory about who it is.  Can you ask someone – Embry or Quil, maybe – that they definitely burned the vampire the pack killed in March?”

“You think it was the redhead?  Bella, I can promise you she’s gone.  I saw the fire myself and helped bury her ashes.  We spread them across six counties.  It’s not her.”

“Really?  That’s good, I guess.”

“I heard she wanted you dead.”

“Yeah, it was for revenge after her mate tried to kill me and the Cullens killed him instead.  I’m glad the pack got to her first.  I’m thankful for all they did to protect me, I really am.”

She smiled at me properly.  “Look, Bella, I try not to get too involved in pack business.  Mostly it’s about men with too much testosterone and too little common sense.  You may not be a friend of the pack anymore, but I’m glad you’re alive, for Charlie’s sake if nothing else.”

“Thanks…I think.”

She laughed.

“What you said earlier, about the wolves.  Is it true about Seth and Leah?”

“It is.”  Once again, I couldn’t get a read on her.

“Wow.  I didn’t know that girls could – ”

“Neither did we, until it happened.  Leah isn’t pleased about the situation, but it is what it is.”

“I’m glad you’re friends with Charlie,” I continued.  “He hasn’t really got anyone since his argument with Billy.  You know about that, right?”

“I do.  It’s that old testosterone/common sense problem again.”

“I’ve encouraged him to make friends with Billy but he won’t listen.”

“Oh, I’ve heard the story from both of them and promised myself that I wouldn’t get involved.”

“I just worry that he’ll end up alone.”

She gave me a long, searching look.  “What makes you think he’ll end up alone?”

“Sue, I’m dating a vampire.  We’re getting married.  Sooner or later, I’ll be leaving him.”

Her expression clouded for a tense minute before her smile snapped back into place.  “Well, congratulations.  I can’t make any promises about Charlie and Billy, but I can tell you that the pack see him as one of their own.  He’ll be protected.”

“Thanks.”  I slid the last spoon into place in the drawer.  “I have to go if I’m going to make my next class.  Thanks for looking out for Charlie.”

“It’s no problem.”

I worried about that conversation all afternoon.

 *******

“I am so happy it’s the weekend,” I said as I climbed into the Volvo, inhaling my favorite scent in the world – Edward’s.  “Nothing but you, me and the cottage for two whole days.  No school, no studying, no – ”

“Clothes?” he interrupted, waiting for me to clip my seatbelt in before pealing out of Charlie’s driveway.  “We probably should study, at least a little.  It’s only a few weeks until finals start.”

“I can’t believe you just said that.  I just offered you  _me_ for the whole weekend and you’re thinking about exams?  I’m insulted.  Plus, we know we’re going to repeat high school many times over, so why can’t I just rest my poor, overexerted brain cells until I have a flawless memory like you?”

“Bella – ”

“Besides, I only have to take these finals because my drama-filled life has done serious damage to my GPA.  Couldn’t you get Alice to take a peek at the test papers?  If she doesn’t actually see them in real life, it doesn’t even count as cheating.  It’s more like  _guessing_ , really.”

We pulled off the main road onto one that led deeper into the forest.  Edward shook his head and threw me an amused glance.

“Alice said to tell you that her vision doesn’t work like that, that it  _is_ cheating, and that if you won’t submit to ‘girl talk’, whatever that means, she won’t do you any favors.”

“Evil pixie!”

“She also said that she will withhold her Buffy DVDs if you ever call her a pixie again.”

“Eh, I have other things to entertain me,” I said, smiling at him.  He smirked back, before his head whipped back to focus on the road.  I barely had time to see the animal – a mass of russet fur – run in front of the car before it was gone.  The Volvo went from eighty miles to stationery in moments and only the seatbelt and Edward’s arm braced around me kept me from hitting the windshield.  He was cursing rapidly, so quickly it almost sounded like he was hissing.

“What was that?”  I asked, gripping the dashboard so hard one of my nails had broken against the plastic.

“Stay in the car,” he commanded, and he was out of the door, slamming it shut behind him, before I had a chance to respond.

“Edward, I know you can hear me,” I said.  “Tell me what’s going on.”  He was on my side of the car with his back to me, blocking the door to make sure I couldn’t get out.  I wound down the window instead.

“Bella, please, just do as I ask.”

“Why should… _holy crow_.”

Forming a ring around the car were the huge, black outlines of wolves yards away, close enough that even my eyesight could pick them out in the gloom.  Every hair on my body stood on alert and the ground trembled as they padded on the floor, low snarls sounding from all of them.  Something had them riled.

“Call Carlisle,” Edward instructed.  “He needs to be here.”

I pulled my cell phone out with shaking hands, to find the display was already lit up with an incoming call.

“Bella, its Alice,” she said when I hit ‘answer’.  “Carlisle’s already on his way – he should be there any moment.  I’ve asked Jasper and Emmett to come back from Seattle, too, but I don’t think they’ll be back in time.”

 _Time for what?_  I wanted to ask, but my mouth formed another question.

“How did you – ”

“You just disappeared from my sight – it had to be the wolves.”

Carlisle appeared in a streak of white beside Edward and rapped on the doorframe to catch my attentions.  “I have to go, he’s here,” I told Alice.  “Let me out of the car,” I said to Carlisle.

“It’s safer if you stay inside,” he replied.  “We just need to have a talk about the treaty.”

The wolves were closing in around the car, their growls gaining in volume.  “Carlisle, this isn’t a talk, this is an _ambush_.  It might be safer for me, but not for you.  Listen, they won’t try to attack you if they think I might get hurt in the process.”

“You think I’d use you as a shield?” Edward hissed, desperation coloring his words.  He looked like he wanted to say more but Carlisle silenced him with a glance.

“That won’t be necessary, Bella.  We’re going to discuss this rationally.  Aren’t we?”  He said the last loud enough to address the wolves.

The two closest wolves seemed to shrink, fur flowing inwards and fading, smoothing out into skin. In their place at the side of the road, two men emerged.  Sam and Jacob.

I took the distraction as an opportunity to shift over to the driver’s seat and let myself out of that door just in time for Edward to round the car.

“I’m not staying in there while you two face them,” I whispered, cutting off whatever angry rebuke he was ready to use.  “I know you want to protect me, but whatever’s about to happen will concern me.  I want my say.”  He nodded tersely and led me to where Carlisle stood, keeping his body between me and the wolves, pinning me into the car.  He was trying to shield me.

I peered round to look at Jacob.  I thought when I saw him again I’d just feel happy that he was alive, considering how ill he’d been when I last saw him.  He was healthy again, his skin having lost that sickly gloss and his scars had completely faded, but something about him made me uneasy.  I tried to send him a smile, but it died on my lips as I recognized the untempered revulsion in his eyes.  He was staring straight at Edward, who was returning the hostile gaze with ease.

“Sam,” Carlisle began, “may I ask what the meaning of this…meeting is?”

“We need to discuss the treaty,” Sam replied stonily.

“You could have called.  We could have made arrangements to meet somewhere, under more amenable circumstances.”

“This road is neutral territory under the treaty.  We’ve not breached it.”

“Neither have we,” Carlisle replied.

“You haven’t  _yet_ , but we have reason to believe that you soon will.”

“I assure you that we all stick rigorously to our diet.  No humans will be harmed at our hands.  Rather, we’re in the middle of hunting down one who does feed on humans.”

“That’s not our concern right now.  We’ve learned that one of your coven intends to marry a human and take her life.”

I sucked in a breath.  Sue had told them.

“Hey, the human’s standing right here,” I said.  “She has a name and a say in what happens to her.”

Sam didn’t even look at me, but Jacob did.  He glared, no trace of our former friendship to found on his face.

“To violate a human will violate the treaty,” Sam continued.  “ _Bite_.  Not kill.  We will uphold that clause rigorously.”

Edward had gone superbly still beside me, his fists clenched so hard I could hear the grind of stone on stone.

“Thank you for the reminder,” Carlisle said calmly, although when I glanced at him I could practically see the wheels turning in his head.

“And what if it’s what I want?” I asked, aiming my words at Sam.  I attempted to walk towards him but Edward grasped me around the waist and held me firm.  “If ‘the human’ made her wishes perfectly clear, would you really still declare war?”

It wasn’t Sam that answered me.

“You only want this because they’ve got you hoodwinked,” Jacob said, his voice crackling with anger.  “Everything they’ve said to seduce you into their way of life is a lie, and you won’t find that out until it’s too late.”

“That’s not true!  They’ve done everything they can to convince me to stay human, but I don’t want that.  I choose this!”  Jacob looked away from me, his eyes closed.

“Then we will have no choice but to hunt the coven down when that day comes,” Sam said.  “We have a responsibility to protect human lives, even when that life is wished away.”

“If human life is so important to you, why aren’t you hunting in Seattle?  You know it’s a vampire and you’ve done nothing about it.”

“Seattle is outside of our territory,” Sam replied, but I saw the frown Jacob threw his way.  Either he didn’t know what was happening in the city, or he didn’t agree with the decision to ignore it.  “We protect the Quileute tribe and the people of Forks.”

“So you’d rather hang around in the forest posturing at a group of harmless vampires rather than deal with the one that’s actually killing people?”  I was yelling, and the wolves were closing in a knot around us.

“No vampire is harmless.”  Sam addressed Carlisle again, dismissing me.  “Know that we’ll be watching you.  The moment you breach the treaty, we’ll come for you, and we will show no mercy.”

“We appreciate the reminder,” Carlisle said blandly.  “May we leave now?”

“Of course.  I’m sure our paths will cross again, soon enough.  I look forward to it.”

Edward had me in the car and strapped in within moments, and the Volvo roared into life, barreling through the cluster of wolves, who leaped apart just in time.  I saw Carlisle disappear in a blur through the trees, heading off before the wolves could give chase.

I sank back into the seat and fought back the tears that threatened to rise now the adrenaline was fading.  Edward was gripping the steering wheel so hard it cracked down one side, and he was uttering a constant litany, too low for me to follow but I suspected it was a stream of curses.

“I hate this,” I said, needing to break the silence.  “I can’t believe they would be so hostile.”

“Sam doesn’t trust us.  It’s why he won’t take the pack to Seattle: he thinks it’s a ploy to get them away from Forks so we can do what we like.  If he had his way, the treaty wouldn’t exist.”

“But I told him that I want this!  Why can’t they accept that?”

“He believes what he’s saying.  He doesn’t think you know enough to make the choice.”  Another piece of the steering wheel crumbled to dust.

“I know what you’re thinking,” I told him.

“Isn’t that supposed to be my line,” he uttered, without humor.

“You think he’s right.  But he’s not.  After everything I’ve seen and everyone who’s told me I’m wrong for wanting this, I know I’m right.  It’s not about choosing sides, and choosing to lose my life.  It’s about choosing  _you_.”

We’d just turned onto the road that led to the Cullens’ house, safely behind the boundary line.  The car screeched to a halt and I was in Edward’s arms, pressed up against the outside of the car before I could register his movement.  I felt the tremble in his lips as they found mine.

His hands were everywhere at once but not rough, and he hitched my legs so I could wrap them around this waist, bracing me against the metal.  I tilted my head back and let him control the kiss, feeling the need in him as his mouth moved against mine.

“What if they’re right?” he whispered, lifting me and carrying me over into the cover of the forest, out of sight of the road.  He pressed me against a tree and kissed my throat before speaking again.  “What if you realize what a mistake you’ve made when it’s too late?”  His hand kept moving, unable to settle.

“Ssssh.”  I caught his chin in my hand and held it, leaning in to catch his gaze.  “They’re wrong.  You might not be able to read my mind, but you know me in every other way.”  I kissed him again, shifting my hips into his.  If there was ever a moment when I wished I could let him inside my head, this was it.

He whimpered, a sound I’d never heard from him before and I wanted to kiss the doubt away.  I trailed my lips along his cheekbone and slid my hands down his arms, enjoying the feel of the taut flesh.  “Don’t ever doubt how much I want to be with you,” I said.  “My mind might be silent to you, but my body isn’t.”  I lifted his hand from my hip and held it to my ribs, where my heart beat furiously in time with my pulse.  “That’s what you do to me.”  I kissed down his neck towards his collarbone, and his hand slid higher to cup my breast, thumb stroking over the cloth.

“What about when it doesn’t beat anymore?” he whispered.  “What then?”

“Then I’ll find another way to prove it to you.”  I dragged my lips back to his, arching into him as his grip tightened on my hip, his other hand sliding under the fabric of my shirt.

I could feel my pulse singing for him every where he touched and places he didn’t.  The fabric of my jeans was too much, too rough against my skin.  I wanted all of him, his smooth skin against mine.

I reached between us to fumble at his button fly and he pulled away, far enough to speak even as our lips still brushed against each other.  “Here?  Are you sure?”

“Stop asking me that,” I commanded.  “If I’m ever not sure, I’ll tell you.”

I smiled in triumph as I got the last button undone, and he captured my hands, pulling my arms taut over my head and pinning them to the bark.  He kept them there in one hand and peeled my jeans away from my body with the other.  Somehow he managed to get the fabric down my ankles, letting it tangle up to keep my ankles together, with him caught inside the loop of my legs, all in one fluid maneuver.

“See?” I said huskily, “things like that would be much more awkward if you were human.”  He stole my next words by shifting his hips up and sliding inside me, impossibly deep at this angle.

“Is that good?” he murmured against my throat.  I let my head loll back against the tree and groaned out my agreement.

“You have no idea.”  Each word took more effort than it should.

He laughed and shifted back to move against me, gently.  I felt every inch as he moved within me.  We kissed again and I felt the tension in his body melting away, stroke by stroke.  I tried to move with him, which was difficult with the way I was pinned, but we found a rhythm, his hands pushing me up and pulling me down as his hips rolled into mine.  Every undulation was a little quicker and a little harder than the next.

“I want you above me,” he murmured and I nodded, letting my head fall forward onto his shoulder.  He pulled me flush against him and sank to the ground.  I kicked the jeans off completely and rocked up onto my knees, sinking down onto him, pushing him back so he lay in the undergrowth.

I let his hands find my hips, moving me at a pace we both wanted, and when his fingers moved to the place between my legs, I didn’t stop him.  When he stared up at me I knew I’d chased all his doubts away for the time being.  I concentrated on the abject awe he wore, and on the image of the girl reflected from his eyes, shining sylph-like in the moonlight.  Surely we were more myth than anything earthly by this point.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” he asked, pulling me down so he could move his lips over my breasts, one hand still moving me over him, rocking and pushing and pulling.

“Don’t you get it yet?”  I hissed as his lips closed around one nipple, his tongue sliding over it.  “You’re mine.  I’m yours.  We belong to each other.”

He thrust upwards with force, nearly sending me sprawling over the forest floor.  I laughed as he steadied me.  He growled at my laughter, pulling me down with more force so my giggle died in my throat.  “I choose you,” I said, my voice suddenly low and hoarse.  “Now and forever, I choose you, and nothing’s going to change that.”

He leaned up for another kiss, and rolled us over until I was on my back.  He let go and thrust into me roughly, grinding his hips enough that it touched me everywhere I needed.  It went from feeling good to beyond feeling in seconds: pleasure curling out from the centre of my body and into every limb.  I felt too big for my skin, yet too small to contain the euphoria sweeping through me.  As I rocked against Edward, sounds falling from my mouth that I shouldn’t be capable of making, I was distantly aware that he was peaking too.

When the feeling had receded, my brain reconnected to reality, I blinked up at him.  He was staring at me with the same unabashed adoration as before.  “I love you,” he murmured, brushing his nose against mine.  “I’ll spend eternity being thankful that you’re mine.”

“I feel the same,” I said.  I shifted, suddenly aware of the fallen twigs pressing into my back.  “Can I get up?”  He lifted me so I was sitting upright, curling an arm around my waist and pulling me close, nuzzling into the hollow of my throat again.

“There’s no Poison Ivy in the Olympic rainforest, is there?” I asked, and he chuckled, soft puffs of air blowing against my skin.

“You’re safe,” he said.  “You smell so good after we’ve made love.”  The rasp to his voice set my pulse pounding again.

“You always think I smell good.”

“That’s true.”  He pulled away so he could rest his face against mine.  “We still have a problem,” he said, regret evident in his voice.  “No matter what you try to do to convince the wolves that the change is your choice, they’ll still see it as a violation of the treaty.”

“We have a little time to think about it,” I answered.  “It’s just one more problem to add to the list.  But we’ll find a way to deal with it.  Nothing is going to stand between us and eternity.”


	11. Transitions

**Transitions**

The weeks following our confrontation with the wolves passed quickly, but the tension never quite disappeared.  My nerves were constantly pulled taut, waiting for whatever would come next, soothed only for brief moments with Edward.  He seemed to sense my unease and was dedicating himself to helping me relax, even when I knew he was just as on edge as I was.

I barely saw the other Cullens anymore.  They were always in Seattle, searching for the elusive killer vampire.  No matter how hard they looked, they failed to find anything; more bodies, but no more clues.  It was becoming apparent that the vampire wasn’t just elusive – he was untraceable.  Despite Edward’s assurances that the chances of it having a special ability were slim, we were having to face the fact that it was a probability.  Otherwise, we might be dealing with something we hadn’t even considered – not vampire, not wolf, not human.  I don’t think anybody wanted to face the possibility of something totally unknown.

We were all painfully aware that summer was here, and the Volturi couldn’t be far behind.  Time was running out.

Studying proved to be a fine distraction, at least when I could force myself to concentrate.  My grades were not what they could have been, after everything that had happened this year, and I was determined to pull them back up before graduation.  Having Edward around to study with was a boon.  He knew it all already, and he was less willing to try and distract me after he realized that if I got the grades to get into a good college, I’d be more likely to put off my change.  I had no intention of doing this, but I wanted to graduate high school – the first time around – with the best GPA I could manage.  It wouldn’t be the same when I was doing it as a vampire; it’d almost be like cheating.

“Edward?” I asked one evening as we sat at Charlie’s kitchen table, going over calculus formulas.

“Hmm?”  His gaze was on my mouth and although he was listening, his attention – his imagination, at least – was elsewhere.

“Will we have to pretend to be siblings? When we start high school all over again, will we have to be like the others, hiding how serious we are?”

I couldn’t imagine starting over in a new place and having to tell everyone that Edward was my brother, adopted or not.  And wouldn’t  _three_ coupled up pairs of siblings be too incredulous?  Would we all have to pretend we weren’t dating at all, that we were nothing more than siblings?

He frowned, clearly not liking the idea.  “I suppose we will.”  He reached over to twist a strand of loose hair behind my ear.  “You know, if you delayed the change for a few years, you wouldn’t have to go back through high school.  You’d be able to get a job or go to college.  Constantly redoing college would be a much better way of spending eternity.”

He had a point, however…

“Tempting as it is to skip the Groundhog Day version of high school, I think that would cause more problems than it’s worth.  See, you’d be officially seventeen – or younger – and that would mean my college student self would be doing  _very_  illegal things with a minor.  We don’t really need that kind of scandal.  Or jail time.”

“If you change your mind…”

“I know.”  I flipped the text book shut.  “I’m done with Calculus.”  His eyes lit up hopefully and I shook my head.  “I have a Spanish oral exam to practice for.  Keep your jokes to yourself or I’ll kick you out and get Alice to be my study partner instead.”

He shrugged, his expression still mischievous.  “Let me know when you need a break.  I need to practice my own oral skills as well.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“It’s one of the many things you love about me.”

 *******

When the finals I had to take were done with, we were left with a few days of freedom before graduation.  It felt like we were balanced on a precipice, not quite finished with school but no longer students either, although it could have just been a symptom of that ever-present tension I was feeling.  Everyone else seemed fairly boisterous.  They hung out at the diner or piled into Tyler’s van to visit First Beach while the weather was good.  Angela let it be known that I wouldn’t be going to First Beach with them because I’d fallen out with Jacob, and everyone was ready to make up an all-too-human drama to fill in the blanks.  I did go to the diner a few times though, to keep Charlie happy by hanging out with someone who wasn’t a Cullen, and for something to do while Edward was off hunting.

Coming back from the bathroom in the diner one afternoon, I bumped into Sue.  Literally bumped into her, nearly sloshing the milkshakes she was picking up everywhere.  Instinct made me apologize, but I had much more to say to her.  She took in my expression and indicated that I should follow her out to the parking lot.

“You told the pack about us.  You were spying.” I started as soon as the door was shut and we had privacy.  I’d known she’d report back, and I was as angry at myself as I was at her for letting so much information slip.  “You could have gotten us killed!”

“No, Bella, you’re wrong,” she said, planting the shakes on the trunk of the car, hands held out in front of her.  My arms were folded and stayed back.  I’d  _liked_  Sue.

“Then how did Sam know that we’re engaged?  How did he know what we’re planning to do?”

She sighed.

“I’m sorry, Bella.  I mentioned it to Leah and when she phased he heard it in her thoughts.  He tries to stay out of her head because of their history, but he heard her think your name and got the rest from there.  I only told her about the engagement because I didn’t think it would upset Jacob so much anymore.  They figured the rest out from there.”

I believed her.  The way she said Sam’s name made me remember there was no love lost there – of course she disliked him after what had happened when Sam imprinted on Emily.  Instead, I picked up something else she’d said.

“What do you mean, it wouldn’t upset Jake?  He’s okay, right?”

“He’s better than okay – he imprinted when he was out of town, staying with Emily’s family.”

Jacob had imprinted.  I didn’t know how to take the news.  It was good – he’d found someone and could move on from me.  I didn’t need to feel guilty about marrying Edward anymore and breaking his heart.  Except…he still seemed to hate Edward just as much.  I thought that hatred had been borne of jealousy and fear for me, but removing the cause for that jealousy hadn’t changed a thing.  He’d still kill Edward given the chance.  I knew that without a doubt, after what had happened in the woods.

“Well, if you could pass on my congratulations,” I said finally.  “I’m happy that he found someone.  Is she living in La Push?”

“No, she’s still with her family until the situation in Seattle is resolved.  Jacob’s furious that Sam has been ignoring it.  He only found out the night you told him, and it’s causing a lot of drama among the pack.  Most of them disagree with Sam about what they should be doing.”

Hope flared.  “So the wolves might help?”

“I think with Jacob’s insistence they will.  Sam’s position as alpha is shaky enough since Leah won’t take orders from him.”

“What?  I thought she had to.”

Sue smiled and I could tell she was amused by the situation.  “If Sam gave her a direct order, then yes, she’d have to follow it, but he doesn’t like giving her orders given everything that happened.  It means she’s been flouting a lot of rules – she didn’t turn up to the meeting with the Cullens, for a start.  She nearly convinced Embry to stay away too.”

“Embry?”

She frowned for a moment, then realized what I was asking.

“I forgot how little you know nowadays.  Leah imprinted.  On Embry – it happened right after she first phased.”

“Leah imprinted on Embry?  Not the other way round?”

“You’ve met my daughter, Bella, and you’ve met Embry.  Who do you think is the dominant one in their relationship?”

I had to laugh at that.

“So you don’t know what’s going on with the pack yourself?”

“Only through Embry, since Leah stays out of it as much as she can.  I don’t want to know about it anyway – so long as my children are safe, I’m not interested in wolf politics.  And I’m not exactly Sam Uley’s biggest fan.  At the moment he’s acting like an idiot, blinded by prejudice.  I might not like the Cullens, but it’s obvious they’re not what the pack should be focusing on right now.  If he wants my respect – or Leah’s – he needs to pay attention to what’s happening in Seattle.”

“Will he?”

“I think now that Jacob has returned, there’s every chance the pack will be swayed.”

We shared a moment of understanding.  We might be separated now by warring species, but we knew the best chance of finding the rogue vampire was using every resource possible – the wolf pack and the Cullens working together, if necessary.

She fished her keys out of her pocket.

“Thank you for listening to me.  Am I forgiven?”

I thought for a long moment.  “I don’t think I can entirely trust you, but I don’t think you’re out to get my fiancé killed either.  Just don’t do anything to hurt Charlie or get him involved in any of this.”

She nodded, then stepped away towards her car, pausing again.  “I know what choice you’re thinking of making and I know I’m not exactly an unbiased observer.  I don’t like the cold ones, but I could see why you’d be tempted by what they can offer you.   All I ask is that you think of your father before you make any decisions you can’t change.  You’re all he has.”

I met her stare but didn’t reply, and in the end she looked away, resignation clear in her expression.  And maybe a little sorrow.

 *******

Despite it being a milestone we’d been approaching for months, my feelings about graduation were mixed.  I’d be done with high school, finally, and I was as happy as all my classmates about that – even if I was facing a future where I’d be returning, willingly,  _repeatedly_.  Then again, for me graduation was a bigger milestone than anyone else could dream of.  It wasn’t just the end of school.  It meant I’d entered the last days of my human life.  Sometime in the near future, I would surrender my humanity to become like Edward, and as ready as I was to embrace that, I still had things I needed to wrap up while I had the chance.

Like Charlie, who would be on his own after I left.  He still wasn’t speaking to Billy, probably never would again because Billy would never apologize, and that left him no real friends or family.  I feared what would become of him on his own.

Like Renee, who nearly hadn’t come to graduation.  She’d only agreed to after Edward called her and made her realize how much she’d regret not watching her only child graduate.

There were so many bridges I needed to build and I only had until the wedding to do it.

But for now, it was just another day.  A hugely significant day, where I had to tramp across a stage in front of nearly everyone I knew, in a hideous yellow gown, and hope I didn’t trip up.

Edward and I were almost late to the ceremony as he distracted me “to soothe my nerves” by dragging me into the empty locker rooms.  We had to run to the gym to make it, pulling the ugly gowns on over our own disheveled clothing, and I slid into my seat beside Jessica just in time.

“What did you do to your hair?” she whispered.  “I  _love_  it.”  Too late, I realized I hadn’t attempted to straighten it out after Edward had…distracted me.  I shrugged and turned my attention to the stage, smiling as Charlie caught my eye from where he sat with Carlisle and Esme.

Renee and Phil were further away, but she did glance back at me as Principal Greene began to wax at length about the future, hard work and opportunity.  Then Eric followed him with a speech filled with just as many clichés, yet strangely moving.

I didn’t trip up as I collected my little scroll (which turned out to be blank, as the actual certificates would be posted later) and this time I made eye contact with Renee, who mouthed “I love you, honey,” as Charlie clapped with all his might a few rows away.

Dinner was an awkward affair.  We – Edward and I, Charlie, Alice, Carlisle and Esme – drove to a restaurant in Port Angeles, where Renee and Phil were staying.  Charlie was quiet until Carlisle made an effort to talk to him, and Renee changed the topic every time the wedding was mentioned.  Esme did her best to charm her and although they seemed to get along well, I knew Renee resented Esme for encouraging the marriage.

I felt like I wasn’t really connected to any of it, the world around me separated by an invisible wall of white noise.  Thinking about Charlie and Renee, spending time with them like this when I knew how little time I had left, was painful.  It was easier to stay numb for the evening.

It was a good thing Alice didn’t need any help preparing for the graduation party she’d decided to throw the next day, to which she’d invited the entire graduating class.  As Edward drove us back to Forks, all I wanted to do was curl up and go to sleep.  I was emotionally exhausted.

Charlie knew I was staying at the Cullens’, ostensibly to help Alice, so we were able to spend the night in the cottage.  Edward knew exactly what I needed and let me curl up against him in our big bed, peaceful in sleep because he was near me.

Morning came in typical Forks style – wet and grey – and I was treated to a big breakfast.

“Alice said to tell you you’ll need all your energy today,” Edward explained as he plated up bacon, eggs, fried tomatoes, hash browns, sausages and mushrooms.  “She’s determined this is going to be the biggest party Forks has ever seen.”

I obligingly tucked in, umm-ing and ahh-ing in all the right places because, naturally, it was the best cooked breakfast I’d ever head.  The house was apparently set up for the party and all I needed to do was get dressed for it later on.  Until then, we were going to relax.

Apparently, I was too quiet.  Edward sat next to me at the little table when I was done eating and took my hands in his.

“Are you still upset about the way things are with Renee?” he asked.

“How did you – ?”

“Bella, it’s not hard to tell.  I understand; you want her to be happy for us.   _She_  wants to be happy for us, but she’s too aware of her own teenage fairytale wedding and how that ended.”

“I just…I don’t see how I’m going to fix this before it’s too late.”

Edward pulled me into his lap.  “It doesn’t have to ever be too late.  I’ll wait as long as it takes until you’re ready to let go of her, even if you decide that you never can.  So long as you’re my wife, I’ll be happy whether you’re human or not.”

“I know.  But Alice’s vision hasn’t changed at all.  I don’t have that time, even if I want it.  If I don’t sort things with Renee soon, I’ll never be able to.”

He took my face between his hands.  “Would it make you feel better if I told you that Esme is going to Port Angeles today, where she’ll  _accidentally_  run into Renee and take the opportunity to explain why she knows our getting married is the right thing to do?”

“It does.”

“And Renee’s here for a few more days, right?  Tomorrow we can go see her ourselves and  _show_  her why getting married is the right thing to do.  I think the more she sees us together, the more accepting she’ll become.”

“Okay.”  Things seemed brighter.  We could sort this out.  I snuggled close into him.  “Did I mention that I love you lately?  And that you’re amazing?  And that you’re the only person on the planet, with the exception of Alice, who can look good in a nauseating shade of yellow?”

He laughed and kissed me.  “I’ll never complain about you telling me you love me.  Say it as often as you like.”

It was easy to push the worry aside, if only for a day or two.  We had a plan, and that was better than merely hoping things would get better.  It put me in a much better mood for the day ahead and I was suddenly looking forward to the party.  I’d be saying goodbye to my classmates, but that would be the case even without my imminent change.  We’d have fun and part ways with optimism and grand plans for the future.

I showered and dressed – comfy jeans, since we were snuggling on the sofa until later on – while Edward did the dishes.  He was waiting for me in the living room when I was ready.

“What do you want to watch?” he asked, holding up two DVDs of black-and-white movies that I’d never seen.  He was trying to educate me in the classics.

“Both?  We have plenty of – what’s wrong?”

He’d frozen, everything about him tensing, the gentle atmosphere of the morning shattered.  He cocked his head, his expression wary, then threw the DVDs onto the sofa.

“There’s an intruder near the house,” he explained, the words running into each other, his eyes wide and black. “Alice thinks it’s the rogue vampire and she’s calling for me. She’s alone, and this might be our only chance – I have to help her.  If you stay in the cottage, she can see that you’ll be safe.  I’ll be back soon.”

With that he was gone, the door clicking shut behind him.

I didn’t know what to do, and nerves had me walking an up-and-down path in the scant space of the living room.  Edward wouldn’t leave me alone if it wasn’t safe – if Alice hadn’t seen it – but I wasn’t the only one who could be harmed.  Alice was on her own right now.  Even with the speed Edward could make it back to the house at, what if it wasn’t fast enough?  I should call the others in Seattle and get them back here – now…

I noticed the chill first, then the scent, then the prickle of goosebumps on my skin that had nothing to do with the temperature.  Each of these things struck me in mere seconds, the pieces fitting together as I stopped pacing.

I wasn’t alone.

There wasn’t time to react before a cold hand covered my mouth, and a voice whispered to me.

“Don’t scream.”  I raised my gaze to the mirror over the fireplace and it was met by red, red eyes.


	12. Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Octoberland and evieeden for lending their fabulous beta skills, and goldenhair for pre-reading this. You can blame her for telling me to make a certain character more crazy. Love to everyone who reviewed, especially those of you that called me evil for leaving it on a cliffhanger .

**Questions**

I was moments away from dying and I was having the most ridiculous thoughts.

Like asking the vampire with the scarlet eyes – the one who currently had his hand clamped over my mouth and his other arm wrapped firmly around my waist – not to drain me if he bit me, since I was planning on becoming a vampire anyway.

Like, maybe, we should pay less attention to Alice’s visions when they were so full of holes.  She hadn’t even seen the paper cut happening and that had changed  _everything_.

Like I was going to die and I’d never make things up with Renee, or make sure Charlie would be okay, or marry Edward.

Maybe the last thought wasn’t so ridiculous.  Just tragic.

For some reason we were both frozen, the boy in the mirror and I, trapped between one moment and the next as he waited for me to react.  He was beautiful, but that was a given: sharp jaw, full lips, short hair that had probably been mousy in life and was now a dirty gold.  He hadn’t been much older than me when he was changed.  I wondered, briefly, about who he had been, but that was inconsequential; it was who he was now that was the issue.  It wasn’t just the color of his eyes that gave him away as a killer.  It was the fierce look in them, the savageness of his entire expression.

We waited for my reaction, which never really came.  I couldn’t scream, hand or no hand, because my throat was utterly dry.  I couldn’t move because my limbs had locked up in shock.  When it came to fight or flight, my body had decided upon option ‘c’ – neither of the above.  I might as well have already been paralyzed by venom.

I don’t know how long the moment really lasted before I became all too aware of my frantic heartbeats, the way my pulse must be tangible to him the way we were stood so close.  He wouldn’t just be able to hear it, but feel it through the fine blood vessels under my skin, in my lips, echoing through my entire being.

He snarled and I closed my eyes, deciding death would be easier if I didn’t watch it happen in the mirror, but the sharp tear of teeth never came.  Instead, I was lifted, arms under my knees and around my waist, cradling me close as the ground lurched and fresh air surrounded me, stinging at my skin, letting me know we were running. Or at least, he was.  I chanced a look, trees and sky whipping past overhead fast enough to make me dizzy, and I had to close my eyes again to calm the churn of my stomach.

Too late, I tried to call out for Edward, or Alice, or even Charlie, but I couldn’t seem to will my mouth to move.

With my eyes closed, it was harder to get a sense of my surroundings, but I knew we were still in the forest, still moving at vampire speed.  But to where?  Even with my eyes open my vision would have been useless and I wouldn’t have had any sense of place.  How many square miles did the forest cover?  How far could we travel before we ran out of trees and moved to new terrain?  Did we have a specific destination or was the vampire just aiming to get as far away from the Cullens as he could?

And that just led to more questions.  Questions were all I had.

Why hadn’t he just killed me at the cottage?  Why this?  Why had he even been at the cottage?  Was this some sort of message to the Cullens to leave him alone?  I knew, without a doubt, that this was the vampire from Seattle.  Was I some kind of revenge against them for trying to find him?

What did he want?

The last, I tried to shy away from.  This couldn’t end well.  Even if he’d restrained himself from killing me at the cottage, there’d been a moment where it had been very close.  He wasn’t a vegetarian and had no reason not to drain me when the time came.

I could hope that the Cullens would trace him and rescue me before that happened, but what good would hoping do?  None of them had ever been able to track him down before, and he slipped through Alice’s visions with ease.  The rogue had managed to evade both Alice and Edward in getting to the cottage from the house, evading both of them.  They’d completely failed in tracing him after weeks of searching.  Edward was fast, but even Edward couldn’t catch up to us if he didn’t know where we’d gone.

When an indeterminable amount of time had passed, we stopped.  The vampire didn’t slow gradually, he just halted between one stride and the next, and the absence of motion was enough to turn my stomach over again.

I didn’t want to open my eyes but did it anyway, almost reflexively.

The sky above, the first thing I saw with the way I was being held, was still grey, but softer than this morning, a shade closer to blue.  The sun was a hazy white circle in the sky, directly above us, and I knew enough to know that meant it was noon.  We’d travelled for an hour, maybe more.

We were still in the forest, but at the edge of a small clearing, and the trees were spread further apart, as if soon we’d reach the end of them.  It might have been my imagination, but I thought I could hear the sea; not waves, but the sense of space that came when you were on the shore.

All this was easier to focus on than the rigid boy holding me, jaw tense, eyes black.  I recognized this behavior.  He was fighting the urge to bite.

He dropped me abruptly, and it was good that the forest floor was so densely carpeted in grass and undergrowth, because the impact wasn’t too bad.  I couldn’t have braced for the fall since the circulation in my limbs was sluggish, given the way I’d been carried for however long he’d run.  Any moment now, pins and needles would set in.

I dared not move even as he paced away from me.  The blood returned to my legs, bringing savage tingles with it.  I didn’t even squirm against them, despite how much I wanted to rub them away.  He wouldn’t forget I was here, no matter how much I wished I could blend into the foliage, but instinct still forbade that I moved so I couldn’t attract his attention again.  Finally, the dormant part of my brain that had never screamed “danger!” around the Cullens seemed to be coming out of hibernation.

The sky darkened, clouds rolling in over head.  Rain would follow shortly.

Back he came, but he stood some yards away from me, and I took in everything about him.  It was better than looking at those vivid eyes.  His clothing was torn and stained – I didn’t want to think about with what – and his sneakers were filthy, once white but now a dark, muddy brown.  Or maybe it was closer to maroon…

I had to look away from those too, while I fought against the tide of nausea.

I welcomed another ridiculous thought instead: he hadn’t smelled of anything when he carried me, except the rich, sweet smell of vampire I was so familiar with.  It seemed so at odds with his appearance.  If he’d been human, he’d stink.

“Get up.  We need to get you inside.”  It was an order, but it wasn’t necessarily harsh.  I stood up, my feet protesting with agonizing prickles still stabbing through them, before his words sank in.  Inside – where?

He pointed in one direction and I walked ahead, as carefully as I could, the movement helping ease the needles away.  Rain began to patter around, soft and cold, tiny flecks that would soon turn to fat droplets and soak me through.

There were the remnants of a path, but the forest was reclaiming it forcefully, brush and branches invading the space.  No one had come this way in some time.  It was only really a few steps back into the trees that I saw our destination, a tiny wooden shack in the shadow of a great spruce.  I was grateful for the shelter, but reluctant to enter when the vampire pushed the door open and nodded for me to step into the dark interior.

I was fairly sure I wouldn’t be coming back out of this hut.

I stepped inside anyway, spurred on by the beat of raindrops on my skin and the vampire’s red stare.  It was dark inside, the only light coming from the open doorway, but a moment later a light flickered to life, and I blinked against the brightness.  The vampire had switched on an electric lantern, propped on a rickety table.  There was no window, and ample cobwebs.  If I had to guess, I’d have thought the hut was a shelter built for hikers that had been abandoned.  The table and a camping chair were the only furniture in the small space, and the chair was new – it had been brought here recently.

The vampire had planned to bring me here all along.

That thought just led me to more questions, all beginning with “why?”  I shook them off and instead stepped to the center of the hut, the floor cold beneath my feet – I only had socks on.  On one wall was a very faded map, half rotted away and peeled off, but I took a moment to stare at it.

 _“The Olympic Peninsula & the…”_ The rest was cut off, but the side of the map that was still visible showed the Western shore of the peninsula, and a tiny yellow star near the coastline.  I had our location, much good it would do me.  We were entirely isolated.

“Sit down,” the vampire said – almost like a request – and I shuffled over to the camping chair without looking back at him.  I wondered if he was going to tie me up – but what would be the point of that?  I’d never overpower him or escape from him.  I didn’t even have a can of pepper spray like the last time I’d been kidnapped by a vampire.

I giggled.

The sound just escaped from me, the product of one more ridiculous thought, and while I bit my lip to stifle it, the vampire shot me a sharp look.  I couldn’t blame him for being confused.

“I’m glad you’re amused, Bella,” he said.  That shut me up.

He knew my name.  Unless he was a mind reader like Edward, that meant he’d been watching us – watching _me_.

What if all those times the Cullens had been searching in the wrong place?  What if the rogue vampire hadn’t been in Seattle while they sought the killer; what if he’d been in Forks?

The others hadn’t sensed him, but they’d never been able to trace him when they found a victim in the city either, the one place they should have been able to catch his scent.  He  _had_  to have an ability, like Edward and Alice.  It was the only thing that made sense.

And that just made the whole situation worse.  Because if his talent was to hide himself…they’d never find us.

“Where is she?” the vampire muttered, and the lack of space in the hut meant it was easy to hear him.  The words only added to my rising panic.  We were waiting for someone.  Why?

The only thing I had to do was watch the vampire pace back and forth while I gripped the arms on the chair and fought the clawing panic, willing my pulse to calm and my breath to slow.

It was one thing to think you were going to die in a moment’s time, and there was nothing to be done about it.  It was completely different to face it happening but you didn’t know when.  Waiting was worse.

“Could you calm down?” he said eventually, his voice burred by an underlying growl.  “I can smell your panic, it’s making your scent too strong.  I don’t want to lose control.”

His words didn’t really fit with the redness of his eyes, and nervous laughter bubbled up again, stronger this time.  “What difference does it make?” I said as I giggled.  “You might as well bite me and get it over with.”

“Not until she gets here.  I need -” he snarled and slammed the door open, shocking me silent again.  He strode out into the forest, disappearing from view for a minute before he returned, standing in the entrance and taking deep breaths.

“Listen, I don’t want to kill you,” he continued, after he seemed calmer.  “That was Victoria’s plan, not mine.”

I froze.  “Victoria?”

He turned back to me, and with the soft light of the afternoon behind him, he looked so young, more like a boy and less like a demon.

“Can we start again?” he said quietly. “I’m Riley.  Victoria was my…maker.  I don’t know what the word is, if there is a word.  I haven’t been like this long enough, and she only told me what she wanted to.  She even told me I couldn’t go out in sunlight like she could, because I was too young, although I soon found out otherwise.  Whatever the word is though, she was the one who changed me.”

I didn’t respond.  The way he was talking about Victoria wasn’t exactly warm, but knowing she’d been the one who changed him and educated him was far from good news.  Was the ‘she’ we were waiting for someone connected to Victoria?

Besides, I was too concerned with the way his fingers were digging into the plastic of the table, a tremor passing up his arm as he held on tighter, fighting for control, the melamine splitting under the pressure.

“Victoria had this huge plan,” Riley said when the silence stretched on too long.  “It involved building an army of us so we could fight your coven.  I was the first one she changed, the only one for a long time because she wasn’t too good at stopping when she’d bitten someone.  She told us that you were dangerous and would kill all other vampires unless we stopped you.  She also told me she loved me.”  I could hear rock grinding against rock as he clenched his fists.  “Shows you how full of bullshit she was, doesn’t it?  Then she got herself killed, and I found out it was all a lie.”

“She never told you about James?” I whispered.

He laughed harshly, opened his mouth to speak and let out a violent snarl.  He doubled over as the tremor grew fiercer, but even with his face half-hidden I could see his nostrils flaring.  I stayed perfectly still, more empty of movement than I’d ever been in my life, feeling just like the mouse hiding from the snake again.

Between one blink and the next he was in the doorway, almost panting as he took in the air from outside, and there he stayed, although the frame around the door took the same damage as the table.

“The first time I heard about James was the day she died,” he continued when he’d calmed as much as he could. “She liked to leave me in Seattle during the day, so she could try and get close to you, but most of the time she was kept away by the wolves.  She didn’t realize that I could hide myself – even I didn’t realize it until later, and the day after I discovered she’d been lying about sunlight, I decided to follow her.  She was fighting with the wolves and I was going to help her, until I heard her talking about her old mate and the revenge she wanted to get against you.”

His next words were brittle, dripping in anger.

“She was practically bragging about how she was going to avenge the death of her mate, her ‘true love’ and destroy the Cullens in the process.  I knew, right then, that she’d been using me, so I didn’t feel the need to rush to her aid.”

He wore a brief smile of savage pleasure as he thought of her death, but it was quickly replaced by melancholy.

“It was only when I ran away, after the wolves had torn her apart, that I realized that they hadn’t sensed me at all.  Later on, I experimented with that until I knew it was because no one could.  Right then, I was lost.”

It was easy to feel story for him – even though, despite his protests, he was probably going to kill me.  What had his life been like before he encountered Victoria?  What life had she stolen him from?

“When I got back to Seattle, I destroyed the others that had survived the change.  I thought I was setting them free from being this way, but then I was alone and had no one to kill me…or anyone to kill.  I tried to turn someone myself, but it’s harder than it looks…so hard – I ended up with all these bodies… I started following you again, trying to figure out why everyone was so interested in you.  You’re just human, it didn’t make any sense.”

I couldn’t disagree with that.

“Then I realized you were the key.”

I’d heard of people talking about their blood turning to ice before, but always dismissed it as hyperbole.  Even when I’d been in danger before – from James, from Laurent – I’d always been too aware of the  _heat_  of my blood.  But when Riley looked at me this time, with manic desire and blood bright in his eyes, I knew what it was to have fear chilling your body.

“I’ve listened to them, you know.  The one you’re with and the other one that can see the future.  He doesn’t want you like this, no matter how often  _she_  tells him about the vision she has of you and how beautiful you’ll be, how strong.  When I would listen to them, she kept talking about golden eyes like it was important, and it took me a long time to figure out what the difference between us was.  Because they don’t kill people, do they?  They drink animals.  And that means when you’re changed, you won’t drink from humans either.”

There was a beat again, before I realized he wanted a response, and I had to make three attempts before the words came. “The Cullens are all – well, they call themselves vegetarians.  They all made a choice not to drink human blood.”

“I don’t want to be a killer either.  I’ve tried drinking from animals, when I first figured it out, but it’s disgusting.  I don’t understand how they do it – it doesn’t come close to real blood at all.”

“They’ve said that before,” I agreed, “but it feeds them as well as human blood.”

“But it’s not just about the blood.  It’s about the kill; how do they survive without the  _kill_?”  The tremor was back in hands, his crimson eyes nearly swallowed by dilated pupils.  “I want that,” he said fiercely, “I want to be able to live and not to kill, but I can’t do it alone.  If I knew they wouldn’t hurt me, I’d ask to be a part of your coven, but I know how that will end.  The one you’re with -”

“- Edward -”

“- he’ll kill me.  As soon as he hears my thoughts and knows that I once wanted to kill you, he’d end me, and the others wouldn’t try to stop him.  Not when they know how many people I’ve killed.”

“That’s not true, you know,” I said, trying to reach the boy underneath, the one I’d felt sympathy for. “Edward’s killed people himself, and Jasper – one of the others -  he’s been around for a long time, but he’s only followed their diet for the last fifty years.  If you mean it, Carlisle won’t let them kill you.  They all listen to Carlisle.”

Riley shook his head.  “I have to get away from here anyway.  I can’t be here when the Volturi – that’s what they call them, isn’t it? – when they arrive.  They’ll kill me no matter what, I’ve learned that much.  I have to get out of here, but I’m not going alone.  That’s why I’m taking you.”

I sucked in a breath, then gasped out, “What?”

“That’s the way to make it work.  If we’re in a coven, we’ll make sure we don’t kill people.  I mean, the one who can see the future  _knows_  you’ll have golden eyes.  That means if you can do it, then you can help me do it too.”

“Wait – you want…me?”

“I’ve been desensitizing myself to your scent as much as I can – I think it will help.” I suddenly knew where all my vanished clothes had gone.  “You want to be a vampire, but  _he_  won’t do it.  He keeps trying to make decisions that will change the future to one where you’re human.  But I’ll do it, and then we can go somewhere where the Volturi won’t find us.”

He was excited by the idea, pacing the floor again, and he couldn’t see that I’d dropped my head into my shaking hands, swallowing back a fresh wave of panic.  I was definitely going to die.  If his previous attempts to turn people had been a failure, so would this.  Even if he could do it, I didn’t  _want_  him to.  I wanted it to be Edward.  I didn’t care if I had to wait, months,  _years_ , I wanted it to be Edward.

Besides, if he did change me, why didn’t he think I’d just go straight back to Edward?  Nothing in this world would keep me from him.

Carlisle had once explained that drinking human blood made vampires less civilized.  Did it affect rational thought too?  If all newborns thought about after they were changed was blood and how to get it, could that make them unstable?

“Then who are we waiting for?” I asked, biting down on my lip after the words slipped out, to stop more from following.

“The only person I managed to change myself.  I need her help.  She can -”

His head snapped up, his focus elsewhere, just like Edward’s had been this morning.  “She’s coming!”

He stepped out of the shack and I strained to listen, but the forest was as quiet as it had been.  The rain had stopped again, adding to the muffled stillness.  Whoever ‘she’ was could be a mile away, or more, my hearing wouldn’t pick it up.

“Shit!” Riley hissed, then moved in a blur, lifting me off the chair and launching himself back out into the forest, through the trees to the clearing in seconds.

“Riley!” I heard a girl shouting. “Run!”

Except he couldn’t, because something had hold of us, and everything was moving so fast again – one moment I was in Riley’s arms, the next I was on the grass, wrapped in another pair of arms.

“Shhh, Bella, it’s okay,” Alice whispered, and I relaxed, leaning closer to her cool body.

Paces away from us, Edward and Riley grappled, moving so quickly that I could only make out what was happening in the moments where they paused, one or the other trapped in a hold.  More and more often, it was Edward that had Riley pinned – Edward’s arm around Riley’s throat, squeezing, or Riley shoved up against a hemlock trunk, his arms twisted behind his back.

“Riley!”

Another streak of color crossed the clearing, pausing steps from the fight -  a young girl with long, dark curls and flashing red eyes.  She hadn’t quite been a teenage when she was changed and she was as filthy as Riley.

“Please don’t kill him!  Please!” she pleaded, and Edward hesitated.  Alice murmured indistinctly, and I knew it was surprise though I didn’t know  _why_.  Riley dodged away from Edward, breaking free of a choking grip.  Edward shook his head like he was fighting for concentration, knocking him to the ground and reaching for his head –

“Enough!”

Every one of us in the clearing froze at the voice, and when I glanced away from the space where Edward crouched over Riley, we were ringed by five cloaked figures.

“The Volturi,” Alice whispered to me, horrified.  Behind one of them I could see the vivid blossoms of flowers among the undergrowth.

Just like in her vision.


	13. Persuasion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks go to my beta Octoberland and evieedena and my pre-reader Goldenhair, and to everyone who has read and reviewed so far.
> 
> There’s going to be a [blog post](http://www.latessitrice.co.uk/riley-bree/) about a few things covered in this chapter – mainly Riley and his companion – up later. It’s not important but if you are at all interesting in the workings of my imagination you might want to read it. Or not.

**Persuasion**

The first person to move was the one who’d spoken.  She threw back her hood in an imperious move to reveal pale, doll-like curls and delicate features – and bright red eyes.  This girl would have barely been a teenager when she was changed, but whoever she was, she commanded fear and attention.  I could see it in the way Edward looked at her,

“What is this?” she said, her voice as delicate as her face on the surface, but with a core of steel underneath.

“Jane,” Edward greeted.  He’d moved away from Riley to stand tall and he offered her a dip of the head by way of a bow.  “I’m sure you’ve heard about the situation in Seattle?”

I could see the emotions flickering across his face, how intensely he was thinking as he assessed the situation.  We were massively outnumbered and I was the only human here – not a good factor for survival.  The Volturi would soon find out the truth and order my death, and we didn’t have the back-up of the other Cullens to make this anything like a fair fight.  Edward was probably trying to figure out a way to save me, likely at his own expense, and for the first time I wished he could hear my thoughts.  He needed to concentrate on getting himself and Alice out of this alive.  I was a lost cause, but he  _had_ to survive.

“Of course.  It’s why we’re here.”

“This vampire,” he nodded towards Riley, “is the one behind the deaths there.”

“Is this true?” Jane asked, turning her stare to Riley, who stared back boldly.  “Is this true?” she repeated.  He still didn’t reply.

A moment later the clearing was full of Riley’s screams as he writhed in the undergrowth, agony clear in the sounds tearing from his throat, though no one had touched him.  The brown-haired girl – Riley’s companion – darted toward him like she was going to touch him, then thought better of it and stopped, retreating as far from any of the hooded figures as she could.

When his screams stopped, the clearing eerily quiet in their absence, Jane spoke again.  “I won’t ask you again.  I’ll just keep hurting you until you tell me what I want to know.  Did you kill all those people in Seattle?”

“Y-yes,” he panted, struggling to pull himself onto all fours.

“This has been going on for months,” Jane said, turning her attention back to Edward.  “Why have you only just taken action?”

“We’ve been searching all this time,” he replied, a hint of annoyance in his voice, although I hoped I was the only one who could detect it. “We think he can hide himself so well he leaves no trace at all.  It made him impossible to hunt until he showed himself.”

“Intriguing,” said one of the other figures, who stepped forwards to stand beside Jane.  “A gift, you say?  Well, that might cast a rather different light on matters.”

He pushed his own hood back, and Edward stood even straighter in front of him.  Alice rose to her feet beside me.  It took me a moment to realize she was trying to show respect to whoever this man was.

“Aro,” Edward greeted, his voice blandly polite, emotions tightly leashed.

“Edward,” the man said.  He had long hair and very Italian features, but his skin wasn’t the perfect smoothness I’d come to expect in other vampires – it seemed almost papery, thin and worn.  He was old; far older than even Carlisle. Despite the benevolent smile he wore and the seeming delight in his voice when he spoke, instinct told me not to trust him, and not to underestimate him.

Then I remembered where I’d heard the name.  Aro wasn’t one of the Volturi guard.  He was one of the Volturi themselves – a lord among the vampires.

“I was upset that you left Volterra so abruptly all those months ago,” he continued, “although I am happy to see that you decided against pursuing the quest to end your life.  What a waste that would have been; although I do remain curious as to the reason behind your sudden change of heart.”

“I’m sorry for my lack of manners, Aro,” Edward said stiffly, but he didn’t offer an explanation.

There was a pause before Aro smiled.  “No matter, we have plenty of time to talk these things through.”

He looked toward us, where I was still huddled in the grass beside Alice’s perfectly still form.  If she was scared, she was hiding her emotions better than Edward was.  She offered her gloved hand to him as he came closer.

“You must be the famous seer, Alice,” Aro exclaimed, taking the offered hand to kiss it.  “What a pleasure to meet you.  I would dearly love, one day, the chance to see your thoughts, although I fear it would be rude of me to ask such a thing upon first acquaintance.”

She smiled but didn’t reply, her eyes blank as they sometimes were when she was looking to the future, although there was a tenseness between her eyes.

Then he looked to me, reaching with his fingers to tip my head back, so I was staring up at him.  The red of his eyes was even more vivid against his pale, crêpey skin, and rather than the beauty I’d come to expect in vampires, he was closer to grotesque, no matter how perfect his features were.  His fingers lingered a moment longer on my skin than they needed to, and I suppressed a shiver.  I was soaking in the wet grass and the chill of his touch didn’t help.

“And you are the most intriguing of all,” he finally said when he stepped away.  “Will anyone tell me her name?  Or explain why she smells so much of Edward and why her mind is quite silent?  Is she mentally deficient?”

Edward didn’t reply.  He looked so lost, full of anticipated sorrow.  I could feel the wound in my chest, the one that had healed when we found each other again, ripping open a fraction.    He thought I was going to die, here in this clearing, in front of him.

“Perhaps Alice?” Aro prompted.

“She’s Bella,” Alice whispered, “and she’s mentally sound.  Not all abilities seem to work on her; her mind is silent to Edward.”

Aro clapped his hands together as if this were the best piece of news he’d had all year.  “Well, that’s extraordinary.  I wonder..?”

He looked at Jane, who turned her eerie smile to me, narrowing her dark eyes for a moment.  Everyone else seemed to be waiting for something to happen, although a violent tremor passed through Edward, but the seconds ticked by and all they elicited was a frown from Jane.

“Jane?” Aro said.

“I’m trying, Master,” she replied through gritted teeth.  Alice gasped softly and I caught on a moment later.  Jane was trying to use her power on me – the one she’d caused Riley so much pain with, without laying a finger on him.  Except it wasn’t working.

“Yet, nothing,” Aro mused.  “That is a wonder.  However, it strikes me that there is the distinct possibility that she knows more about us than she should.  Her scent would indicate a certain level of intimacy with you, Edward.”

“She’s my mate,” he whispered, and a reasonable attempt at pity flitted across Aro’s face, although Jane smirked widely.

“Ah, love.  It all makes sense now – the sudden desire to die, and the subsequent change of heart.  I would presume we are talking about a separation and reconciliation.  Such a shame.”

Edward glanced towards Alice, and I saw her shake her head, raise her shoulders – not quite a shrug.  More like an apology.  I recognized in her the same frustration Jane had displayed moments ago.  Was she struggling to see what was going to happen?

“I’ll do whatever you want,” Edward said.  His voice was quiet, hollow, not like he was pleading at all, more like he was going through the motions.  If he was listening to Aro’s thoughts, maybe he already knew what the decision was.

Strangely, I didn’t fear for myself anymore.  I just feared for what would become of Edward afterwards.  I knew he’d look for a way to kill himself.  Would he provoke the Guard, here and now?  What would become of Alice?

All I wanted was to be able to hold him, one last time.

“I’m -” Aro began, but was interrupted by Riley’s sudden lunge at the nearest figure to him, shoving them back towards the broad trunk of a hemlock, the resulting  _crack_  echoing around us.

“Alec!” Jane shouted.

“Felix, Demetri,” Aro ordered calmly.  Two figures – one slight, the other impossibly tall – were already dragging Riley away between them, and they slammed him to the ground on his front.  Aro strode over to them and reached out to grasp Riley’s chin, yanking his face out of the dirt.  He paused a moment, searching Riley’s thoughts, then released him.

“I was going to offer you a deal, Riley, since you have an unusual, and frankly, useful ability.  However, I can see that you will be impossible to control, and it’s more than your talent is worth.”

He stepped back and Riley began thrashing beneath his captors, trying to break free, shouting incoherent threats.

“Kill him,” Aro commanded.

The boy Riley had attacked – similar to Jane in age and appearance – stepped forward and wrenched his head free in one clean movement, throwing it across the clearing where it rolled to a stop in a tangle of exposed roots.  I looked away from it.

His limbs kept twitching, and the three vampires set about dismembering them swiftly, while Jane watched with a grim satisfaction.

“Shame,” Aro said, shaking his head, the sympathy back in place.  He was a definite politician: he wore emotions so well, even when it was clear that underneath it was all an act.

He was closer to Edward now.  “He had so much potential, but it would have been impossible to get him to Volterra, let alone control him.  His thoughts and memories were an interesting thing to behold though.  For example, I discovered that his progeny – Bree, is it?” he glanced to the shivering girl, offering a warm, compassionate smile, “has a talent of her own.  And that our human dilemma might already have been solved for us, given the plans you’ve already set in motion for Isabella.”

Alice stepped towards him, keeping me behind her.  She’d relaxed seconds after Riley had been torn apart and now seemed surer of herself.  “We’ve been planning to change Bella for a long time,” she explained.  “We’re just trying to make sure that her disappearance causes no questions to be asked.”

“So it would seem.  And you have certain expectations for Isabella.”

There was a glint of greed in his eyes and Alice gave an uncertain nod.  “I mean, I can’t say for sure, but it would seem that way -”

“Good.  Do you have a timescale in mind?”

“This summer,” Edward answered.  “We’re getting married and then I’m going to change her.”

“Marriage?” Aro said, seemingly gleeful at the concept.  “Delightful!  Of course I understand you would want to do things in the proper order, and I’m sure Isabella will make a glorious bride.”

“If you kill her today, there will be questions,” Alice said.

“You’ve seen this, of course, and I suppose your way leaves no room for curiosity?”

“None at all,” she replied confidently, although I wasn’t sure how confident she really was.

“Well, I  _am_  stickler for the law, and where would I be if I didn’t follow my own rules?  We definitely wouldn’t want to attract any unnecessary attention.”  He paused, as if he was weighing things up.  “Yes, I think we may strike you a deal.  It would only be right, based on my longstanding friendship with Carlisle.  Isabella must no longer be human by the end of summer.  I need confirmation from you when the deed has been done or we’ll be back to finish this.  The first of September – no later.”

“I can guarantee it,” Alice replied.

Behind Aro, Edward had relaxed, his insight into Aro’s thoughts meaning he knew that the offer was genuine.

“I do, however, have one further condition.”  I couldn’t name Aro’s mood as he said this.  He seemed almost…hungry?  Excited?  “I require you to visit us in Volterra as soon as Isabella is able manage the journey without…drawing attention.”

I nodded and Edward murmured his agreement.  He didn’t seem happy with that part.  His reticence made more sense with Aro’s next words.  “And you, Alice, would you appease me and pay us a visit, and bring your own mate along with you?  I’d dearly love to meet him; I’ve heard he’s a talented individual in his own right.”

I remembered Edward’s words about how Aro liked to ‘collect’ vampires with abilities.  He wanted Edward, Alice and Jasper – and he was going to use me as a bargaining chip.

“I’ll certainly consider it, Aro,” she said.  He beamed in pleasure.

“That just leaves us with one more piece of business to deal with.”  He strode over to Bree’s trembling form and she scuttled back on hands and knees, out of reach.

“Please don’t hurt me!” she whimpered, and he chuckled.

“I dare say I won’t.  You apparently have a very…subtle ability that intrigues me as much as your maker’s did.”  He reached out a hand to her, offering it so she could pull herself to her feet, and her frightened gaze kept flickering between the hand and his eyes.

“I don’t want to die!” she blurted, “I don’t want to kill people – I promise I’ll never hurt anyone else!”

Aro laughed, the laugh as calculated as every other move he’d made so far.

“Oh, that’s not my concern, dear one; you can tell by my eyes I don’t feed on animals.  I have no intention of hurting you.  Rather, I think we might be able to come to an agreement of our own.”

Bree stayed in a crouch, shrinking away from him, but she seemed to be listening.

“If you return with us to Volterra, we can see if your talent can be put to use, and we will spare your life in return.  If you don’t like it, you can leave once we’re sure you’re able to be discreet.”

“But if I don’t agree, you’ll kill me, like you killed Riley?”

Aro cocked his head.  “Dear one, we couldn’t let you go, not the way things are.  But trust me, you have nothing to fear from us, and a lot to learn.”

Bree glanced over to Alice, then back to Aro.  What was Bree’s ability and why was Aro so interested in it?

“I’ll come with you.”

“Excellent!”  Aro smiled, and it was the first expressions I’d seen that I believed was genuine. “Edward, Alice, I would dearly love to see Carlisle while I’m in the area, but we have other concerns to deal with, and I know he disapproves of my dietary requirements.  Please pay my respects to him.  In the meantime, you’d better get Isabella home to the warmth.  She’s been in the wet too long.”

Edward moved finally, reaching my side in three fluid strides and lifting me.  As soon as I was in his arms I let out a sob, burying my face against his neck.  He murmured to me, words of comfort, but it was hard to truly relax when we were still so close to the Volturi.

Around us, they gathered Riley’s body parts together into a grotesque mockery of a campfire and tossed in a handful of matches.  He caught fire quickly, flames shooting up so high and fast it was almost an explosion.

Edward seemed to take that as a sign to leave and, with a glance to Alice, he pulled me closer and launched into a sprint.  We flew through the forest faster than even Riley had moved; I kept my eyes closed, my face pressed against Edward’s skin, not caring that it was cold.  The only thing I needed right now was to feel him against me and to breathe in his scent, sweet and comforting.

It was still only late afternoon when we reached the Cullens’ house, emerging from the forest onto the immaculate lawn.  It was like escaping from the tangled claws of a fairytale back to the bright safety of reality.  Jasper waited beside the front door, arms clasped behind him like he hadn’t moved in days.  Alice bounded past us and into his arms, and he caught her, scooping her up into a kiss.  Edward kept moving past them into the living room, where the rest of the Cullens were gathered.  The furniture had been pushed back to create an artificial dance floor, and only then did I remember the party that was supposed to take place in a few hours.  It didn’t feel like the same day at all.

Carlisle stepped forward first, lifting me from Edward’s arms, and together they set me down on the sofa.

“I’m fine,” I said as they began conversing in fluid, rapid whispers.  Carlisle was clearly scrutinizing me, looking for injuries.  “Not a scratch on me.”

“But you’re soaked,” Esme said.  “Emmett, would you get the fire started?”  She rushed off and was back in seconds with a blanket in her arms.  Edward leaned down to lift me and I shrugged him off, standing up to shuffle over to the pouffe (as Esme had informed me it was called) nearest the fireplace on my own, though I grabbed his hand and tugged him along with me.  “I can walk.  I want to walk.”  I settled on the pouffe and he knelt at my feet, his upper body resting against my lower body, while the other Cullens gathered round.

“Can you explain without Alice’s help?” Esme asked.  “She and Rosalie are calling your classmates to cancel the party.”

“She can’t be happy about that,” I tried to joke, but nobody smiled.

“I don’t think any of us are in the mood for a party right now,” Carlisle said gently.

“I think I can,” Edward said.  “Although I’ll need Bella to fill in some details too, because I don’t understand them all.”  He leaned closer to me, taking my hand.  “This morning, when she was alone, Alice called me back to the house because we had an intruder in the grounds.  We thought it might be the rogue vampire, but it should have been obvious when she was so easy to catch that she wasn’t.  We cornered the intruder in the garden and the first thing she thought about was how Riley had planned this so he could take Bella.  She tried to blank her thoughts after that, but I’d seen enough.  We dragged her to the cottage, but Bella was already gone.”

He took a deep breath, lifting my hand to kiss it before he continued.

“She panicked when she saw how angry we both were and it made her thoughts easier to access, but they didn’t help us much.  It was obvious that Riley was the killer we’d been searching for, and he’d sent the girl – Bree – as a diversion, except she was supposed to escape quickly as well, because she was so young and had newborn speed on her side.  They didn’t account for how fast I am.

“Alice tried to see where Riley had taken Bella, but it was blank – both of their futures were empty, almost like the wolves were involved.  When we tried questioning Bree, she accidentally thought about how he could make himself untraceable.  She was aware of my ability to read minds and seemed happy to sacrifice every other thought, so long as she didn’t reveal where she was supposed to meet Riley.”

“So it  _was_  an ability he had,” Jasper snarled, entering the room with Alice.

“I told you not to blame yourself,” she said softly to him.  “You did everything you could, we all did.  Tracing him was an impossible task.”  Jasper didn’t look particularly appeased, but let Alice snuggle into him.  They came to rest on the floor beside us, Alice wrapped in his arms.  He didn’t look like he’d be letting her go anytime soon.

“It was,” Edward agreed, “but even though we knew that, it meant there was nothing we could do to find him, or Bella.  In the meantime, she was begging for her freedom, explaining how she wanted to drink from animals just like us, and we had to let her go.  It was strangely…compelling.”

“We would have let her go,” Alice continued, “if two things hadn’t happened the moment we decided to.  First, I saw her in a cabin with you, Bella, with a map on the wall showing your location.  Edward picked that out of my head.”

“And Bree let slip about her own ability,” said Edward, “‘the power of persuasion’, as she thought of it.  She has the ability to convince people to do what she wants.  It’s raw at the moment, but if she’s desperate enough about something – like pleading for her life – it’s hard not to do what she wants.”

“Of course, by the time we realized what was happening and the effects wore off, she was gone, but we were only a few minutes behind her, and with Edward’s speed we were able to catch up.”

“So that’s why Aro was so interested in her?” I asked.  “Riley knew about Bree’s ability and Aro found out about it when he touched Riley?”

“Aro?” Carlisle interrupted, and the other Cullens gasped and murmured in disbelief.

“I’ll explain that later,” assured Edward.  “But yes, I think he saw the potential uses for her ability in Volterra, especially once she’s been given a chance to practice.  Of course, she would have persuaded him to spare her life anyway, and he knew that.  It’s how Riley managed not to kill her when he bit her: she begged for her life and the ability was already there, albeit muted, when she was human.”

“It’s why he wanted her there,” I said, the pieces finally coming together.  “He needed her there to convince him not to kill me when he bit me.”

Edward shuddered and looped his arm around my waist, and I squeezed his hand in return.

“Why did he take you, Bella?” Alice asked.  “That’s what I still don’t understand.”

So I recounted my conversation with Riley, and explained what had happened in the clearing, letting the rest of the family know what had happened up to Riley’s death.

“It’s a shame he felt that was the only way,” Carlisle said when I’d finished. “I’d certainly not have turned him away.”

Edward growled.  “You might not -”

“Edward,” he chastised.

“No, he’s right,” I said.  “Edward probably would have tried to kill him as soon as we knew he was changed by Victoria.  It’s a natural response, isn’t it, to protect me?”

“And I would have agreed with Edward,” said Jasper.  “He was too volatile, even for a newborn.”

I posed the question I’d thought of earlier.  “Does feeding on human blood affect the way you think or the way you see things?”

Carlisle considered this for a moment.  “It can.”

Jasper nodded in agreement.  “It can certainly affect rationality.  You become so focused on blood and survival that other things fall away.  Riley was killing more than any newborn really needed to.  He had more deaths on his hands than most of us, and if what he said about not wanting to be a killer was true, that can’t have been good for his head.  He would have felt out of control, torn between his instincts.”

“I think the modern term is ‘batshit’,” Emmett said with a grin, but I shook my head.

“I don’t think he was crazy, not really.  But I think the blood was clouding his ability to think.”

“In any case, we were due for a visit from the Volturi, and when they found out we were harboring a fugitive, they’d have taken it as an excuse to slaughter all of us,” Jasper pointed out.

Carlisle sighed.  He’d never even met Riley, but I could see he didn’t like the way things had turned out.

“It seems we didn’t avoid a visit from them anyway,” he continued, and turned questioning eyes to Edward.

“How are we alive?” he replied, laughing without humor.

“How did they even find you?” Esme asked.  “If it took so long for you to figure out Riley’s location from Bree, and Riley was untraceable, what were they doing there?”

“They’d been to Seattle, realized we were involved and came to the house instead. When I wasn’t here, they used Demetri to trace me.  They can’t have been far behind us at all.”

“Demetri?” Emmett asked.

“He can trace the minds of people he’s met,” Carlisle explained.  “It’s difficult to explain, but he once told me that everyone has their own mental signature, and it’s far more powerful, to him at least, than a scent.  It’s a curious ability, but infallible as far as I’m aware.  Of course, he met Edward when he went to Volterra.”  He paused and looked at Edward.  “I’m curious as to why Aro came with the guard.  This is something they would normally deal with alone.”

“He was definitely there for Alice and I,” Edward said.  “If it weren’t for Bree, things would have ended very differently.”

“It was close,” Alice said quietly.  “I didn’t even see them coming – again, I think because Riley blocked my visions while we were with him.  The outcome only changed at the last minute, after Riley had been killed, and Aro had seen his thoughts.  Even then, for a while, it changed too quickly to rely on.”

“Before that, he planned to kill Bella and take us back to Volterra, under threat of death for the rest of the family if we didn’t agree to it.” Edward said.  “Instead, we’ve had to promise that we will go to Volterra after Bella is changed, because he hopes she might have a talent too.”

“So that’s what he meant!” I said.  “When he asked you, Alice -”

She and Edward exchanged looks.  “I think there might be a strong possibility that you will have some kind of ability, but I don’t know what it will be.  I haven’t  _seen_ anything, it’s just a feeling I have. I’ve mentioned it to Edward before, and I guess Riley overheard us discussing that.  It’s one of those things that only time will tell, but it didn’t hurt letting Aro think it would happen; it suited him to leave you alive thinking he might gain one more power to play with in the future.  In the meantime, he’s got Bree, and she’s no small consolation prize.  He’ll have plenty of fun experimenting with exactly how precisely he can use her as a tool.”

“That’s the part of the bargain I don’t like,” I muttered, and Edward nodded agreement.  It might have been the only way she’d be allowed to live, but it was close to making a pact with the devil – being offered your life in exchange for your soul.  What would become of Bree with Aro able to use her as he pleased?

“Our visit to Volterra won’t be too bad,” Alice promised. “I had a surprisingly clear vision of it as soon as he decided to take Bree with him.  He’s going to be perfectly hospitable in the hopes that he can convince us to stay, rather than forcing us to, and Bree will persuade him to let us go when the time comes.”

“Bree?”  I didn’t understand why she would help us, but Edward nodded.

“She really does want to feed like us,” he explained.  “She hates killing people, even though she is too young to restrain herself.  And she watched us, when she was with Riley, and she was a little envious of us all, I think.  She’s never had a proper family.  She was the one that mentioned joining us to Riley, and it must have been that which made him decide he wanted a coven of his own.  Bree seems to be closer to her humanity, even though she was younger than him.  She tried restraining from feeding when she could, although the thirst always drove her to it in the end.”

“But she won’t stay like that for long in Volterra,” I pointed out.  She couldn’t, surrounded by willing killers.

“She’s not planning on being there long,” Alice assured us. “When we go to Volterra, she’ll persuade Aro to let her leave with us.  Then she’s going to come back to America and become a Cullen.”

“It sounds almost too good to be true,” Jasper pointed out.

“Maybe,” she replied, “but we can make sure we have all the back-up plans in the world before you go.”

“What about the situation in Seattle?” Emmett asked.  “At the moment people still think there’s a serial killer on the loose, and the amount of carnage Riley caused, it’s not going to go away quietly.”

“Aro has a solution for that,” said Edward.  “The Guard are going to kill someone and leave a trail of evidence pointing to him being the killer.  Aro also has contacts within the justice system to make sure it all gets cleared up appropriately.” I shuddered and he kissed my shoulder.

“I guess we should count ourselves lucky,” Emmett said.

I stifled a yawn.  Through the glass wall at the back of the house I could see the sun descending towards the horizon, the sky vividly streaked in apricot and pink.  Despite the early hour, the warmth of the fire, after everything that had happened today, was making me sleepy.

“I think Bella needs to rest,” Carlisle said, and everyone around us shifted, indicating that the conversation was over.  We could pick the details to bones later – no doubt, Edward, Carlisle and Jasper would – but I didn’t want to think about it anymore.

“Do you want to go back to the cottage?” Edward murmured to me.

“No,” I replied.  “Let’s stay here.”

I climbed the stairs on my own, although I held his hand all the way, but I let him strip my clothes away and pull a night gown on for me.  There was nothing in the gesture except for comfort and tenderness.  Together, we curled up under the covers (where Esme had stashed a hot water bottle), limbs entwined.

“I’m so – thankful – I don’t know what I’d -” he tried to say, and I hushed him by lifting my fingers to cover his lips.

“It’s okay.  I know.  But it’s over now – no more danger”

He kissed each of my fingertips then pulled my hand away.

“It feels like I’m always on the verge of losing you, to one thing or another, and it all comes from being part of my world.”

I rolled us so we lay facing each other on the pillow.  His eyes, the color of polished jet, were full of self-doubt and regret.

“It’s not your fault, so get that out of your head right now.  I’m the danger magnet, remember?  Even if you’re not here, it finds me.”

I brushed my thumb over the shadows under his eye.  He needed to hunt soon.

“You know,” I continued, “for a long time today I thought we shouldn’t ever listen to one of Alice’s visions again.  She seemed so wrong to have ever seen me as a vampire, because how would I live through what was happening?  But I think on the big things, we have to trust her.  She didn’t see what happened today, but we got through it, so that vision she had of us getting married and me becoming like you – that’s still true.  So long as we get there, nothing else matters.”

The familiar awe I’d seen so often these past few months returned, shining from him.

“I love you, Bella.”  He pulled me closer for a soft, chaste kiss.

“I love you, too.” I rolled us again so I could curl myself up against him, resting my face in the nook between his neck and shoulder.  “Now, we just have to get to the wedding.  The danger’s over, but there are still things I need to sort out and today just made it even more important that I do that.”

“We’ll start on that tomorrow,” he promised.  “I’ll make sure you get your happy ending.”

“You’re my happy ending, silly.”

I drifted to sleep in his arms, safe and home.


	14. Endings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, at the end (nearly). It’s been a long, long journey and I thank you all for reading along and sticking with me, especially those of you who have been with me since the very beginning – especially Lamia and VegetarianVamps. This story would not be with you in this form if it weren’t for them.

** Endings **

The trip to Port Angeles to change Renee’s mind had to be called off. I woke up the morning after our meeting with the Volturi with the beginnings of a cold and my entire body heavy and aching. Edward had a glass of warm honey and lemon waiting and various medications clogging up the bedside table.

“Stop fussing,” I told him. “It’s just a cold.”

Carlisle’s assessment was that it was a mild case of the flu, and given Edward’s last experience with the flu, it didn’t calm him down much. I wanted to get up out of bed and get on with things, but Carlisle insisted I rest and Edward’s near-panic forced me to comply.

I cried at our lost opportunity to make things right with Renee. We didn’t even know if she’d even be coming to the wedding, and if she didn’t, I’d never see her again.

When I was all cried out and thoroughly dosed up, I slept.

By the time I’d recovered three days later, I’d received the RSVP from Phil and Renee. Charlie and Esme had been to see them while I was out of it, convincing her that she needed to come. Renee also wrote me a separate letter, explaining how she still couldn’t give her full blessing, but she wouldn’t let the day pass without being there either.

It was as good as I could hope for things to get.

 *******

Charlie asked me outright one day why I hadn’t invited Jake to the wedding. He knew things between us weren’t good, but since I’d never explained why, he thought I should still invite the boy who had not so long ago been my only friend.

“He wouldn’t come, Dad,” I told him. “He won’t accept the fact that I’m marrying Edward.”

“Are you sure? He’s got a girlfriend now, and from what Sue says they seem pretty intense – she just moved in with him.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. It wasn’t just jealousy – things were a lot more complicated.”

I almost started to explain some of it then realized it was impossible. There were too many missing pieces that would raise more questions than they would answer.

He waited to see if I would expand on my answer, then shrugged. “Well, alright. I’m just saying that an invitation might mend some bridges.”

I hadn’t had any contact with the wolves for weeks, although I’d seen Sue. None of us had contacted them to say that Riley was dead, although they obviously knew that the deaths in Seattle had stopped, otherwise Jake’s girl, Sarah, wouldn’t be in La Push.

Later, when Charlie had gone to work, I called Sue and left a message, hoping she’d be able to arrange what I asked her to.

The next day, I drove to Port Angeles alone while the Cullens hunted, and waited on the pier under a powder blue sky, waiting on a bench and watching the path that led to it.

“I didn’t think you were going to show up,” I said to Jake as he lumbered across the planks, painting a smile onto my face. I was trying to keep things light; things would go a lot easier if we stayed as far as we could from intense.

His glower told me he wasn’t particularly interested in keeping things light, but neither did he look as outright hostile as he once had.

“Sue said you wanted to meet me here.”

“I did. I think we’ve got a few things that we need to resolve.”

He scowled and leaned against the railing, looking out over the water, which was the same color as the sky above.

“I think if you’re still with Cullen then there’s nothing to discuss.”

I ignored his sullenness and carried on speaking in my cheeriest voice. “Well, first of all, I wanted to say congratulations. I hear you imprinted. Sue says she’s really nice.”

“And why exactly would Sue be discussing things with you?”

“Because we talk, and because she’s spending a lot of time with Charlie who wants to know what’s going on with you. You might not have wanted to speak to me, but I didn’t just stop caring about what was happening in your life.”

He straightened and turned to glare at me face on.

“You were collecting information about us, weren’t you?”

Once his anger would have startled me, but I was prepared for it.

“No, Jake, I wasn’t,” I said softly. “The Cullens don’t know anything that Sue talks about, and frankly, they aren’t interested. Why would they need to keep tabs on you when the treaty still stands?”

“It won’t stand much longer though, will it?” he said, biting each word off.

I ignored him, ignored his anger, and searched for another topic, hoping it would calm him down.

“Did anyone ever figure out why it took you so long to heal?”

“And you say you’re not collecting information,” he replied with a sharp bark of laughter.

“Jake, I’m  _not_.” My control slipped and my own anger burst out. “I was worried about you for weeks – and you can ask anyone from the pack who saw me in Forks, Sam and Embry will tell you – I just wanted to know you were okay. And don’t tell me if I really cared I would have been in La Push. You made it clear I wasn’t welcome.”

He huffed out a breath and it seemed to calm him. Maybe the heat of my words underscored their truth.

“It was nightshade,” he said, leaning back against the railing and folding his arms, staring at the wood beneath his feet.

“Nightshade? That’s a plant, right?”

“Yeah. It’s poisonous to pretty much every living creature out there and apparently isn’t too good for werewolves either. We think Victoria had it under her fingernails when we cornered her. It couldn’t kill me, but it slowed down my body’s healing process.”

“Well, it’s good that you know that. I suppose it’ll help the pack in the future.”

“Maybe.”

The conversation ground to a halt and I couldn’t think of anything else to talk about.

It was time to bite the bullet.

“Okay, Jake, I had a few things I needed to say to you. First, I’m sorry that I lost you as a friend. You were the only thing that kept me going when Edward was gone. You were my best friend and I miss having you around.”

“It didn’t have to be that way.”

“I know it didn’t!” Suddenly, all the anger I’d been burying came bubbling to the surface, unstoppered by his sulky sniping. “This was your choice, not mine! How fair was it for you to ask me to give up Edward because it made you unhappy? You know what he means to me, and I would never have asked you to do the same thing. The only reason we’re no longer friends is because you decided it had to be that way. I would never have chosen this!”

He didn’t look at me, letting the planking bear the force of his stare.

“I just have one thing to ask of you, okay?” I carried on, trying to soften my rant. “And it’s not for me. Speak to Billy and ask him to apologize – not for my sake, but for Charlie’s. You’re going to be the only people he has left.”

“No, we’re not -” Jacob pushed away from the railing and wrapped his hands around my upper arms, gripping tight enough that it was only just not painful. “I can’t let you do this, Bella. I may not be in love with you anymore, but you’re right, we’re friends. I can’t let you throw your life away.”

I shook free of him before he left bruises.

“Have you heard what you’re saying?” I said, trying to remain calm, but the defiant look in his eyes was too much. “What gives you the right to make this decision for me? It’s mine and mine alone, and it has nothing to do with a treaty that was drawn up decades ago by people who never met me. Don’t you think I’ve looked at this from every possible angle? I know I’m making the right choice, and you’re a hypocrite if you try to force me to go against that.”

“Are you sure about that, Bella? Do you really know what you’re letting yourself in for?”

“Yes, Jacob, yes!”

I stumbled back three steps from him, trying to regain my breath after my tirade.

“Look, Jake, how would you feel if someone told you that you couldn’t be with Sarah?”

He stiffened. “That’s different.”

“The way you feel about her is no stronger than the way I feel about Edward, and you know it. He can’t become human for me, so I have to change to become like him. It’s the only way we can be together. I’m not going to become a killer – Alice is sure of that.”

“I imprinted on Sarah. You can’t compare -”

“Yes, I  _can_. I’m Edward’s mate. Even though I’m human right now, we still belong to each other, as much as you and Sarah do. I’m asking you not to interfere in that. I know it’s up to Sam as alpha, but -”

“Sam’s not alpha anymore,” Jake mumbled.

“Really?” I replied, shocked out of my anger. “Wait, how is that possible – he’s okay, right?”

“He’s fine.” He shrugged, then rolled his eyes when I gestured for him to explain. “Apparently you can lose your position as alpha if you’re undermined enough or you resign. Sam was a little bit of both.”

“So who’s alpha?”

He sighed. “That would be the person that the majority of the pack were looking to for leadership when the old one stepped down, someone who displayed as much authority as the old alpha.”

“Is that -” I knew Sue had said a lot of the wolves were siding with Jacob in his arguments with Sam about Seattle.

“Me? No.” He smiled ruefully. “Actually, it’s Leah.”

“Leah?”

“Yeah. It’s because she was pretty much already the boss of Seth and Embry, and she had Sam by the short and curlies. Everyone else was too divided. A lot of the pack aren’t happy with it – she wasn’t either, at first – but we’re all adjusting.”

“So she’s the person I need to speak to about…the treaty?”

“Yeah.” His face was hard again, but inside, my heart leapt. I had a chance with Leah. If anyone was likely to look at the treaty fairly, it was her. She knew the pain of both sides of imprinting and mating, and she’d abstained from a quarrel with the Cullens before.

I looked back to Jacob, who had his arms folded again, his eyes dark and unhappy. “Please. Just this one thing. I need to know that Charlie is okay. Once I’m gone, I won’t be coming back. For the sake of our friendship, look after him.”

He stared at me for a long time and his expression was inscrutable, but in the end it softened. “I’ll speak to Dad, but don’t hold your breath.”

“That’s all I ask.”

In a fit of spontaneity, I stepped closer and pulled him into a hug. I would have to shower for a solid half hour to get his scent off me, but it was worth it.

“I’ll miss you,” I said, and he nodded, backing away. If it hadn’t been impossible, I would have thought there were tears in his eyes.

“I have to go. I’m going to look for an engagement ring for Sarah.”

“Good luck with that. With everything. Goodbye, Jacob.”

 *******

Time seemed to speed up after that. June turned into July, which became August in what felt like a handful of days.

Alice stayed true to her word and I was only consulted about the wedding on the things she knew I’d care about. I enjoyed tasting food so she could arrange the buffet – dozens of sweet and savory morsels with an Italian theme (a sit down banquet had been vetoed by the other Cullens). She knew I wouldn’t care about place settings, or favors, or flowers, so she just updated me every few days about the new choices she’d made, confident that I’d be happy with whatever she’d decided. Edward took charge of the music and mentions of a string quartet were made, which become a sextet, which became talk of a small orchestra before I put my foot down.

It left me more time to spend with Charlie. My time with him was limited, so I even accompanied him on a fishing trip, something I’d refused to do since I was a small child. We spent the day out in the relentless rain, starting half a dozen conversations that petered out within minutes.

I began packing everything I owned. I didn’t have much, given the number of times I’d moved with Renee, and most of it would go to charity. It was the other things that would usually get left behind or thrown away by someone leaving for college that were packed: Christmas cards that Charlie had sent to me, the drawings I’d made as a five year old that had migrated from the fridge to a drawer in my room, the journals I’d started keeping and then abandoned habitually during my adolescence. They would become the only heirlooms of my human life.

I gave Seth my truck since it couldn’t come with me. When Sue came with him to collect it, I took her aside and got her to promise she’d look after Charlie, even if there was never anything more between them than friendship. With her word, I’d done everything I could to make sure he didn’t end up alone. Renee had Phil and countless friends in Jacksonville. Charlie was the one I’d worried about leaving, and I’d done as much as I could for him.

It led me to one last solemn conversation with Edward before the wedding, wrapped around each other in front of the cottage’s fireplace.

“I’ve decided,” I told Edward, “that after I’m changed, I’m not going to look in on my parents. I can’t keep watching over them from afar – it would be too painful to do that and not get in touch. I can’t watch them grieving over me. It has to be a clean break.”

“Whatever you want, love,” he replied, gathering me close in his lap.

“That goes for everyone, even Alice. I know she’ll keep an eye out for them because she means well, but she needs to forget about them too.”

“I’ll let them know,” he promised.

Leah agreed that the treaty was not violated if I consented to being changed, concurring that the bond between Edward and I was akin to imprinting and not to be broken. I invited her to the wedding, but she remained wary of vampires despite our agreement, and since the dress code required her to be in formal wear, she declined.

Suddenly it was a week before the wedding and Sergio Migliore – the couturier we’d met in Florence – was in Forks, having flown all the way to bring my dress. There were a handful of fittings, and all I could do during them was stare at the girl in the mirror wearing the fairytale gown. Because it couldn’t be me. I looked like a bride, but more importantly, like the bride Edward would have had if he lived.

Alice’s babble about ‘vintage revival’ made sense now I’d seen the dress. It had an antique flourish to it without being old-fashioned, and she’d even found a pair of genuinely vintage silk slippers, with the gentlest heels, to go with the dress.

Edward grumbled that Alice was singing the most annoying songs in her head from the moment it arrived, and she made sure it was guarded at all times – usually by Emmett – so he couldn’t sneak a peek. His excitement was contagious, his usual stoic manner replaced by broad smiles and uncharacteristic good humor. He even tried to tickle a description of the dress out of me one evening and I had to resort to distraction to lure him away from the subject.

There was no rehearsal dinner, to avoid inflicting unnecessary torture on the Cullens, and instead Edward and I had two meals with my parents. The first was a casual trip to the steakhouse with Charlie, peppered with talk about sports, and the second was a Thai banquet in Port Angeles with Renee and Phil. We avoided mentioning the wedding, the proverbial elephant in the room, and everything went smoothly.

At the end of the night, Renee pulled me aside from Edward to pull me close and whisper to me. “I just want you to be happy,” she said, smoothing my hair away from my face. “And I promise that I will never, ever use the words ‘I told you so’. If you need me, I will be there for you.”

I swallowed the tears down, wanting so much to be able to take her up on that promise. I would never need to, not because of Edward, but I would never have a heart-heart with her ever again.

Alice wanted to throw a bachelorette party since I had denied her the opportunity to host a bridal shower, but I was reluctant, mainly because Rosalie had given me advance warning of Alice’s plans. Male strippers were not my idea of a good time. In the end I agreed to a quiet meal held at the Cullens’, inviting Angela, Jessica and Leah (who declined again), while the boys went out hunting for Edward’s stag. It was a surprising amount of fun and Alice even sneaked us a bottle of prosecco, leading to me confessing to a red-faced and rapt Jessica that Edward and I hadn’t saved ourselves until the wedding night.

I spent my last night under Charlie’s roof, alone in my childhood bed. Despite my nerves, I slept like a log, tired about the week we’d just been through. The prosecco probably helped.

Alice was there early in the morning to pick me up, ferrying me to the Cullen house and into her room, far away from Edward, who was continually herded away by Emmett and Jasper. The day was thankfully free of rain, the sky overcast but the air warm. It was perfect.

For me, the morning was a haze of activity, with Alice working her magic on my skin and hair. I hesitated to take Edward’s heart pendant off, but Alice took it from me with a promise to keep it safe and give it back at the end of the ceremony. Despite its provenance, it didn’t go with the dress. The only jewelry I wore was my engagement ring.

When I finally saw myself in the mirror, I nearly cried, fighting back the tears as Alice fussed about me ruining my mascara. Even I could see that I looked beautiful and Renee let her tears fall freely when she came to greet me.

“This is the best thank you I could ever have, Bella,” Alice said of my reaction. “That, and Edward’s face when he sees you.”

The preparations had been perfectly timed to finish just before the ceremony started, just in case Edward tried to scale the outside wall and peek in through the window. We snuck down a hidden staircase at the back of the house and round into the foyer, waiting for the strings to begin at Alice’s signal, my cue to enter the living room where the ceremony would be held.

Everything had been decorated in shades of cream and ivory, but I was incapable of absorbing any of the details. It blurred into a haze of pale color around me, out-of-focus and meaningless when I knew he was waiting for me in the other room.

Clarity only really came when Alice pushed me forward and I was walking toward Edward, who was waiting for me at the end of the makeshift aisle, shining with unrestrained joy. Even then, he was the only thing I could focus on during the ceremony, a sharp delight to all my senses. He stood out against the soft blur of the world in charcoal and bronze, his scent reaching me before I was at his side. It was like standing in a pool of pure sunlight, absorbing his happiness like sunshine through my skin. I needed prompting to recite my own vows, I was so caught up in the sight of him so unreservedly happy – something I’d once never hoped to see, let alone be the cause of.

When we were allowed to kiss, we kept it simple and chaste. It would have been too easy for heat to flare between us. Today was about romance, and family, and celebration. The rest could be saved until we were alone.

The rest of the ceremony took place in a gazebo that had been erected in the garden. I was aware of very little outside of Edward’s hand in mine, the cool weight of my new ring, the way we moved together during the first dance. Alice unclipped my train before I could become tangled in it and trip, spiriting it away.

I ate little things from the buffet that Edward brought to me, since he was still determined that I should try all the little flavors that Alice had arranged. I danced with Charlie – awkwardly – and Phil, Carlisle and even Emmett, though I was never far from Edward’s arms.

There were toasts and speeches – Charlie, Carlisle (as Edward’s best man) and Alice (as maid of honor). Some made me tear up, none more so than Charlie’s; it wasn’t original, it wasn’t delivered with any ease, but it was heartfelt.

There was more dancing, and cake, and a line-up where we greeted everyone and thanked them for attending, and for once I became an enthusiastic hugger. This was my goodbye to everyone.

Even though it was our party, we were the first to leave, ducking out before I began to tire. We weren’t going far, just to the cottage, spending one last night there rather than leaving for the honeymoon straight away.

There were more hugs as we gathered on the driveway, this time with a select few people – namely Charlie, Renee and Phil. I was surprised that I didn’t cry as I whispered goodbye to each of them, but the disconnected feeling had returned, cut free from everything except Edward. It meant I was protected, in a way, from the rawness the realization would bring. They thought I meant goodbye until the Thanksgiving holiday, when we could fly back to Forks or to Jacksonville. I was the only one that knew the truth. At least I could leave them with a smile, not tears. If this was going to be their last memory of me, it would be a happy one.

Edward was happy that we wouldn’t be driving away in the traditional way, since the only car that could get to the cottage was the jeep. If we’d been going anywhere else, we’d have had to use the Vanquish and he couldn’t bear to have it desecrated with whipped cream.

I thought we would be walking to the cottage, but Alice had one last surprise prepared in the form of a horse-drawn carriage, manned by Jasper. It didn’t look exactly like it came out of Cinderella, since the horse was a rich chestnut and the carriage itself was dark wood, not white, but I still felt like a princess when Edward lifted me into the seat and I waved my final goodbyes to my human life.

It was the first moment we’d had alone for over a day and we didn’t need words. We just rested together, hands twined in our laps. The journey didn’t take long and Edward lifted me down from the carriage when it halted outside the cottage, keeping me in his arms. Jasper set the horse into a trot back up the path to the main house and Edward carried me over the threshold.

“Alone at last,” he whispered. He took me straight to the bedroom, almost dropping me when he shouldered through the doorway to find the decorations that had been added to the room in our absence.

Since they were denied the chance to decorate the car, the Cullens had done it to the bedroom instead. There was no whipped cream, but there were streamers and condoms hanging from the posts of the bed, strung across the room, and tin cans tied to the furniture, silly string sprayed haphazardly everywhere.

I doubled over laughing, and after a moment’s pause Edward joined me.

“It’s not quite the mood I was going for,” he admitted when I’d regained my composure. In a few seconds he’d gathered the decorations up and hidden them away, scattering candles around the room and lighting them.

The mood immediately changed in the candlelight, the atmosphere crackling around us, heavy with anticipation. Edward’s skin shimmered a gentle gold, his eyes a darker, richer shade of the same. His face still held the joy he’d worn all day, but an extra glow had alighted in his eyes, the first spark of lust.

“I’m glad you seem happy,” he said, his voice soft and intimate in the quiet. “Are you happy?”

“I am,” I reassured him. “You have no idea how much.”

“Good.” I thought he was about to kiss me, ducking his head toward me so his breath fanned over my skin, but he didn’t. “Do you know why we’re here tonight instead of heading straight for the honeymoon?”

“So I can rest?”

“Not quite,” he replied with a smirk. “Alice told me that if we were going to travel you’d have to change out of the dress. She was already planning your outfit and I couldn’t allow it. This way…” The gold of his eyes deepened to pure black. “This way, I get to take the dress off you.”

“Oh.” I couldn’t think of a single thing to reply with. One corner of his mouth lifted and I stood on tiptoe to kiss it, barely touching him until he turned his head to deepen the kiss. I parted my lips but he pulled away, the ghost of a smirk still haunting his features as he reached out to gently pluck away the pins holding the veil in place. It cascaded down to the floor, the silk brushing against the bare skin of my arms and causing delicious electricity to sear through my nerves.

His expression was suddenly serious, intense, as he ran his fingers along my tender scalp, loosening the curls, and I moaned as the sections that had been pulled taut all day relaxed.

“I have seen many things in my existence,” he whispered, “and many of them could be described as beautiful or wondrous. But none of them come close to the way you looked walking down the aisle towards me today.” His hands moved from my hair down my arms and under the loose sleeves of the dress to caress the skin there. My entire body relaxed at the contact it had been longing for, even as the anticipation in my belly coiled tighter. “That, I will carry with me for eternity as the loveliest thing I have ever seen. But this – you, here, in this dress in candlelight – comes a close second.”

“You look -” I tried to go for teasing, but words failed me. Literally failed me. He wasn’t the slightest bit rumpled, apart from the usual chaos of his hair, an unearthly bronze against the soft pallor of his skin. His charcoal suit was still immaculate, his tie still in place and his collar crisp and white. He’d never looked more human, or more inhuman, in his beauty. “I love you,” I finished, the only thing I could say.

“I’ll never tire of hearing you say that,” he replied fervently. His hands ghosted along my waist, circling it for a moment, sliding down over my hips before lifting back up to rest against my collarbones. I understood the compulsion to touch, although for now I seemed rooted to the ground, compelled to remain still and let him explore.

He caught one hand and lifted it, twisting me around in an imitation of a pirouetting ballerina, until I was stood with my back to him. His hands made quick work of the hidden buttons and ties that fixed the dress, so they could find their way under the fabric at the small of my back. From there they caressed up the length of my spine until they spread to cover my shoulder blades. I shivered under his touch. He pushed the silk away from my shoulders, over my arms, until gravity pulled it down to pool around my feet. I heard his intake of breath and turned to face him once more, clad now only in the ivory lingerie I bought with Alice so many months ago in Florence, and the antique slippers. Demure and not at all demure, all at once.

We’d come a long way since I bought this underwear. I no longer felt the need to cover myself, instead letting him drink in all the exposed skin, feeling my nerves come alive at the simple touches I’d already experienced and the way his gaze was dark with desire.

“I told a lie,” he said eventually. “I was wrong. This comes second.”

“But not first?”

“No,” he murmured, letting his hands circle my hips, pulling me closer to him. “That I could never lie about.”

I kissed him gently, trying to let all the love I felt in that moment pass to him through the skin where we touched.

“Have you thought about tonight?” I asked him when we broke apart, stepping out of the shoes and leaving them next to the dress.

He moaned and slid a hand upward from my hip to my ribs, above my heart. “So much. The thought of you being my wife – being  _everything_ …”

I slid my hands under the lapels of his tuxedo, pushing it away from his shoulders. He shrugged out of it, tossing it behind him to the carpet while I unknotted his tie.

“How?” I asked.

“How?” His eyes widened momentarily. “In every which way. It doesn’t matter. We have all night -”

I began to unbutton his shirt. “But the first time. How?”

He sucked in a breath and unbuckled his belt. “Underneath me.”

Abruptly he lifted me and dropped me into the centre of the bed. I gasped at the speed of motion, then lost that breath as he appeared above me, his entire torso now bare and a patchwork of butterscotch and umber shadows. The width of his shoulders, the cut of the muscles across them, drew my hands upwards, tracing the planes of his body, eliciting moans from him as I sought the sensitive places I’d learned since we’d become intimate.

He bent his head to kiss along my collarbone, down my décolletage to between my breasts, then over the satin to my ribs. From here, I had a better view of his back and my mouth grew dry as I watched the muscles there ripple in the candlelight, the rest of my body reacting as much to that as to his reverent touches.

He was still half-dressed, so I reached between us to tackle his zipper. His trousers were gone a moment later, his mouth only leaving my skin for a moment before returning to suck at my belly, the cold of his lips leaving a trail of heat behind.

I drew him up for another kiss and this one was more forceful than the others, his tongue sliding against mine as his fingers found the clasp of my bra. As the kiss continued, he pulled the satin covering me away, his hands exploring the freshly exposed skin.

My legs were in a familiar position, wrapped around his hips as we rocked together. He untangled me for a moment to remove more satin, so the only things I was left in were the stockings and garter belt. His thumbs traced the bare skin of my thighs, starting at the outside and working way inwards. I took hold of his hand to guide it, but instead he sat up and reached for the pillows, sliding one beneath my head and the other beneath my hips. He pressed into me, forcing a gasp from me, before lowering himself to cover me, so we were chest-to-chest and face-to-face.

I had never seen him as intense as he was in that moment. We moved together slowly, feeling each inch of movement, hands entwined on the sheets beside us. As good as it felt, it wasn’t just about the physical sensations. We never looked away from each other, and I felt like I was on the edge of a huge revelation, like at any moment we would stop being two separate beings and just become one. It felt right.

“Everything,” he murmured as the tension in his shoulders increased, and I knew that true pleasure was close for him. We came together quicker, sweat making my skin slick against his, and I felt the familiar echo of pleasure rising in me as his body filled mine, over and over.

Just for a moment, I saw his teeth bare, his lips pulling away to display the gleaming white as he buried his face in my shoulder. My pulse quickened at the thought that this time, maybe, he would relinquish control once and for all. His tongue licked from the hollow of my throat to the most tender part of my neck, and instead of shrinking away I arched into him. He inhaled but pulled away, lifting his head to kiss me.

“Everything,” I echoed and between one heartbeat and the next we fell together into the brilliant arms of pleasure.

 *******

We barely made the flight the next morning because I slept in, exhausted by the long night. Edward let me sleep until the last possible minute since he was responsible for my tiredness. Luckily his driving skills – the ones that usually had me terrified – came in useful this time, and we dashed our way through check-in and boarding.

It meant I didn’t have time to think about leaving Washington until we were already on the plane and the land was a patchwork of green and brown below us. I’d hated the state to start with, been so against the overwhelming greenery and the ever-present damp compared to the glorious heat and rich browns of Arizona. I couldn’t lie and say I’d learned to love the rain, but I’d grown to see the beauty in the foliage. And of course, Forks had brought me to Edward.

I would miss it, if nothing more, for the fact that I was leaving behind the place where we’d courted. The meadow, the one place that was so special to both of us, was becoming a part of our past. We might be able to return to it, but not for a long time, and time had a way of making its presence felt. If we ever did go back, it wouldn’t be the way we’d left it.

I dozed on the plane and Edward woke me before we landed at Newark. We didn’t say much, but we kept glancing at each other, sharing coy smiles, and Edward seemed unwilling to let go of my left hand. It felt like the first flush of love all over again.

It wasn’t a rental car waiting for us as we exited the airport, but a brand new car of our own that Edward had arranged to have delivered here – a VW Golf in midnight blue. It would be ours until…well, until. Edward had already explained part of the plan to me – how we were going to fake our deaths – and the car was going to be a casualty. It had that new car smell, not like the Volvo which was saturated with Edward’s, and it would take some time for his scent to permeate it. We might not have that long with it.

The drive north to Poughkeepsie was quiet, its soundtrack classical music. I almost wished for a book to read, but I was content to curl up in my seat and watch Edward as he drove. The way the muscles in his arm moved as he handled the stick shift made my mouth go dry, and the heat spread over my body. Sadly, we only stopped at gas stations so I could use the restroom and grab food, rather than finding a quiet place to begin the honeymoon.

The land we drove though was as different again to Washington as Washington was to Arizona: rolling hills, green but sparse on trees, and although the sky was cloudy, it wasn’t actually raining.

Before we reached the city itself, Edward turned the car off the highway toward our new home. The house was hidden away in the woods, just like the one in Forks, and just as big. I would miss our cottage, since there wouldn’t be an equivalent here, but we didn’t need it anyway – we’d be secluded during our honeymoon. The rest of the family would only arrive after our ‘accident.’

Edward carried me over the threshold, balancing the crucial luggage at the same time, and we spent our first day acquainting ourselves with our new bedroom.

The weeks went into fast-forward motion again and Edward seemed to be cramming as much activity as possible into them. We went walking and swimming and for long drives, and at night we stayed tangled up together, making the most of the enormous bed we had. We made sure the townsfolk knew we were here, Edward zooming around in the Golf as fast as he could without violating traffic laws (or getting caught doing so). We needed them to think Edward might not be as cautious a driver as he could be, a young man with a car that might be too powerful for him to control.

We had one serious conversation in all this time, with the September deadline looming over us.

“How are we going to do this?” I asked one afternoon after a surprise thunderstorm had chased us inside from our walk.

He wanted to shy away from the conversation, as he had many times before, but now he had no choice but to concede. Time was running short.

“We have somewhere for us to go,” he told me as I stripped out of my wet clothes in front of the crackling fire. “A cabin that’s secluded enough to get you through the newborn phase, and with plenty to hunt”

“Where?” I crawled into his lap and we curled up to next to the warmth of the flames.

“Labrador.”

“Labrador?” I only vaguely knew where that was – eastern Canada, if I remembered correctly.

“It’s cloudy enough for us to live there for an extended period and there’s lots of wildlife. Caribou, moose, wolverine, foxes.”

“Yum.”

“Carlisle and the others will be close by in case we need them, but we’ll still have our privacy.”

“An extended honeymoon, then.”

“In a way.” But he was frowning as he thought about what was ahead of us. I knew he was still worried about biting me – whether he could  _do_  it, whether he could stop, but at least with the Volturi’s deadline he had an impetus to bite me. It was causing brief pain to essentially save my life, and he’d already stopped himself before. He knew he had far greater control now. I had complete faith in him.

Five days before the deadline, I sat waiting in another new car – a sturdy jeep – on an isolated road with our new passports and paperwork (Mr. and Mrs. Anthony & Marie Masen). The Cullens apparently had contacts on the wrong side of the law who had arranged all of this. Edward left me to crash the Golf into a gulley further down the road.

He was in the jeep, without a scratch on him, before the car exploded into a fireball half a mile away. Everything, including any chance of identifying our bodies, was obliterated. There were bodies in the car, but Edward hadn’t gone into detail about where they would come from, and it would be assumed they were us when the Golf was found.

I didn’t really have time to take in Canada or Labrador as we drove north. I was lost in my thoughts about what was about to happen.

As much as I wanted this, it didn’t stop the fear rising. I trusted Edward; it wasn’t him I feared. It was the inevitable pain that would follow. Three days of fiery torment seemed like a fair exchange for eternity, but when it was imminent, I couldn’t help flinching from it.

The ‘cabin’ was actually another huge house, timber built and completely our own. As had become his habit, Edward carried me from the jeep over the threshold, and into the room upstairs that would be our bedroom.

Somewhere along the way we’d come to an unspoken agreement about how he would change me. Carefully, one last time, we came together. We explored every inch of skin, reaffirming everything we’d come to know about each other’s bodies, taking as much time as we needed, and milking Edward’s capacity for recovery to full advantage. Only when I was completely spent, all capacity for fear chased from me, my ability to feel anything but love and peace eradicated, did he brace himself above me, our bodies still touching along every inch of skin.

“Are you sure?” he whispered.

“I am. I love you.”

“Forever,” he replied, and I felt his mouth at my neck. He placed a soft kiss on my skin, reigniting my pulse, before his teeth sank into me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see my vision for Bella’s wedding dress, the link to my sketch is [here](http://i792.photobucket.com/albums/yy204/la_tessitore/dress.jpg).


	15. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, at the very end.
> 
> Thank you to Octoberland and evieeden for all their hard work and encouragement throughout the story, and for everyone who has read and reviewed along the way. Also thanks to Lamia for pre-reading the last few chapters (even though I think her motivation was to get to read the chapters early, and ‘DIE JACOB DIE’ is not particularly constructive).
> 
> Originally this was going to be a short fluffy piece set about a year after Bella’s change. However, as I wrote the final few chapters I realised I needed to do something a little less cliche and wrapping up a particular aspect of the story. So here it is.

**Epilogue**

I’d always thought that airplanes were relatively quiet when the engines weren’t pushing for power during take-off or landing. At some point the journey would settle into a kind of hush as people slept or engrossed themselves in the in-flight entertainment, as if being confined to a seat made them automatically reluctant to make any noise.

Like so many things, my perception had completely changed upon becoming a vampire.

The middle of a flight was a constant barrage of noise, even when the engines had dulled to a less dramatic roar. The air conditioning hummed and whirred. There was the muffled soundtrack to the movie as dozens of people listened to it through headphones, all slightly out of sync. There were the continual gentle sounds of people shifting in chairs, or adjusting blankets, or moving their legs.

The muted beat of three-hundred hearts.

It wasn’t the scent that was the worst, strangely enough, although I was dealing with a burn more powerful than I’d felt since I was changed; it was the sound, the constant seductive tattoo reminding you that blood was close, and it was plentiful.

We’d practiced this, after I’d celebrated my first year as a vampire with no loss of life (close though it had been). First with short flights from our home in Labrador to other airports within Canada, then with longer flights across the width of the States. So long as I fed well beforehand Alice never foresaw a problem occurring.

Preparation seemed to be the key – physical and mental – and that was the reason Carlisle had attributed to my adjusting to my new diet so well. I was the only Cullen who’d been given any warning that I was going to become a vampire and he thought that had an effect on my self-control after the change.

Personally, I thought it was all down to Edward. He’d been endlessly patient in the early days, always catching me before the worst could happen. He’d found a perfect way to redirect my bloodlust, too – back into the bedroom.

It was a tactic that was limited on a commercial flight, even in First Class, even though we’d managed it on a similar journey just eighteen months before. Part of the limitation this time was the fact that Alice and Jasper were sat just a few rows ahead of us.

Poor Jasper. It had to be worse for him than for me.

Of course, what could be made easier for us had been, so Edward had paid for exclusivity in First Class for us. It was just the four of us and some untouched champagne. I hadn’t asked how much it had cost to pay for every single seat, although I knew that Carlisle was acquainted with some people at British Airways that could pull the required strings. I no longer shrank away from spending money when it came to practicalities. Anything that made this journey easier was welcomed.

It was hardly a journey I was looking forward to completing.

We could have delayed our visit to Volterra indefinitely, since I was still technically a newborn, but the longer we left Bree with the Volturi, the less chance there was of her being able to return with us and attempt a vegetarian diet. It wasn’t just the constant human blood she was surrounded by there, but the view that it was the normal and right way for a vampire to feed, and it would be too easy for her to be seduced by that. Jasper had had Alice’s surety that enabled him to make his way towards our diet; Bree wouldn’t have anything like that.

Well, she’d still have Alice. Alice had seen and shared her visions of Bree as her little sister and she was eager to get that future.

I heard the  _tap tap tap_  of the attendant’s shoes before she appeared, so I had time to get my sunglasses in place. My eyes were currently a muddy ochre, since the newborn red had not quite faded, and contacts wouldn’t last the entire flight without dissolving in the venom around my eyes, so I was going without. The color still wasn’t muted enough to pass for human though, hence the glasses. I curled up against the window and Edward wrapped his arm around my waist under the blanket.

The arm wasn’t for my comfort. It was to restrain me if he needed to.

“Can I get you anything, Sir?” the attendant murmured to him.

“Perhaps some painkillers? My wife is suffering from a migraine and we didn’t bring her medication in the hand luggage.”

“Right you are, Sir.”

She trotted away again and he leaned in to brush a kiss over my cheekbone. Even a year on, the sensitivity took my breath away. I’d thought, naively, that gaining the impermeable skin of a vampire would mean I would feel less, but that wasn’t the case at all. Everything was heightened, my sense of touch now as strong as my sight or hearing. The best part was that when Edward was taking advantage of my newfound sensitivity, we had all the time in the world to explore it, spending days and nights twined together, leaving our house only to hunt.

I hoped we weren’t giving that up. Alice was being… _Alice_  – resolutely optimistic – but all it took was one misspoken word that Aro took the wrong way and we were either dead, or prisoners.

The attendant returned with the pills and water and left without waiting to see if I took them. Edward crushed them to a fine dust and tipped it to the floor.

“Not much longer,” he whispered, “half an hour or so, and we’ll be landing.”

“I can do that.” It had been getting harder to resist as the journey progressed, but having an end in sight helped.

“We could always find something to pass the time until then,” Edward breathed into my ear, and cast a glance towards the toilet.

“Edward,” I replied in my best sultry tone – something I’d found came rather naturally when you were a vampire. He grinned at me hopefully. “It was a bad idea when I was human. Now the scents are heightened and I can practically see the bacteria…it’s never going to happen.”

He scowled, but there was still a hint of playfulness to it, and he leaned in to kiss me softly.

“I just want to be with you before we go to Volterra,” he whispered.

“Can’t it wait until we hunt?” The plan was for us all to hunt in the countryside when we got off the plane, so we were less likely to be distracted if the Volturi decided to feed when we were there. Edward liked watching me hunt. He liked attacking me after I’d hunted even more.

“Can’t we do it here  _and_  when we hunt? I want to hear you.”

There’d been another surprise that had come not long after my change, in the middle of an intense day in bed with Edward. He’d abruptly stopped what he was doing and asked me to repeat what I’d just said. Considering my mouth had been occupied, I didn’t understand what he meant – until he repeated the tumble of words that had been my thoughts moments before.

After giving an edited version of the story to the family, they’d decided I had a mental shield, one which had been in place while I was human and why I’d been immune to certain powers: Edward’s mind reading ability and Jane’s talent of inflicting pain. The shield had become more flexible since my change, although I currently had no control over it. It would only lift away at completely spontaneous moments, all of which involved a naked Edward. Still, we had eternity to figure it out, although he was eager for more constant access to my thoughts.

For now, we needed to keep it a secret from the Volturi, in case they saw a way to manipulate it.

“Here is a no go,” I stated, and although he pouted, he made no more attempts to change my mind. I heard Alice whisper a soft “thank you” back to us. Our moment of lightheartedness had helped Jasper relax a little. We snuggled together again, Edward’s arms firmly around me, as the attendants bustled back and forth preparing for landing.

Getting off the plane, through the terminal and into the rental car was close to torture and required careful orchestration from Edward and Alice: she was constantly assessing our immediate future, he was watching the future through her thoughts and Jasper’s.

To describe the thirst as a burning sensation was an understatement of epic proportions. Here, surrounded by hundreds of bodies, every movement of a person nearby caused a fresh burst of delicious scent, and the flames seemed to radiate outwards from my throat and encase my entire being. It was like having tunnel vision too – my gaze focused not on people’s expressions, or movements, but on the smooth ridges of veins under skin. I leaned into Edward and took a deep breath of his scent, then cut off my breathing, keeping him in my lungs. The fog only lifted when we exited the terminal through sliding glass doors into the cloudy morning.

Even the car smelled like people, under the tang of cleaning chemicals and artificial scent. Not like blood, but the fragrance that promised the richness of blood if you followed it. till, I could relax in the passenger seat, since there was no one to bite within range.

Edward drove, of course. Alice gave directions from the back seat, out of the industrial land the airport lay in and into the countryside, until we reached a tiny lane to leave the car in. We clambered out and split into our mated pairs, the clouds lifting and the sun breaking through.

“Think you can find a wolf out here?” Edward challenged me and I nodded, taking off in a sprint across the grass. Once, Edward had had difficulties keeping up with me, but now that was fading and he easily overtook me.

He grabbed me around the waist, knocking me to the ground and we rolled for yards, shrieking and laughing until we came to a stop. I had him pinned, utilizing the last of my newborn strength, although he rarely complained about being caught beneath me.

With the sun on his skin, out here in the empty space, it reminded me of another time, back when I couldn’t see every single shining facet on his skin in the sunlight, just the shimmering effect it caused. It brought up a happy memory, dulled by my human senses though it was, one of a warm afternoon in a courtyard, where we’d created our own corner of paradise. Every day now was as happy as that moment had been, joy thrumming through me so powerfully that I never understood how I could hold so much of it in my body.

And it could all be coming to an end.

“It’s going to be okay, you know,” he promised, reading my expression. “Nothing is going to tear us apart.”

“Edward Cullen, is that optimism I hear?” I teased. For most of our courtship, he hadn’t been known for looking on the bright side of things.

“Being married to the most beautiful woman in the world will make a man an optimist.”

I shifted myself above him, keeping his hands pinned beneath mine and my hips over his. “Perhaps. Although…”

In one movement I pushed myself to my feet and launched myself into a sprint, yelling the end of the sentence back to him. “…it won’t catch him a wolf.”

 *******

The mood in the car was definitely lacking mirth. The clouds had returned, mirroring our moods, and even Alice was struggling to hold onto her determined optimism. We had plans and we had back-up plans, but we also faced a team of elite soldiers – the Navy SEALS of the vampire world. Despite Jasper’s experience and despite our combined abilities (although mine didn’t count, yet), we were probably going to be outclassed.

We’d been briefed by Carlisle and Edward about the key players in the Volturi guard: the brother and sister pair, Alec and Jane, who we’d already met. Jane, I knew, could inflict pain with her mind, just as she’d done to Riley that day in the clearing. Alec was the boy that Riley had thrown into the tree, spurring his execution, but we hadn’t witnessed his power that day – the ability to remove a person’s senses completely.

Then there was Chelsea, who could loosen the bonds of friendship we felt, even dissolve the loyalty we felt for our mates, and Renata, Aro’s personal bodyguard, who could divert any attack against him. There would be Demetri and Felix too, who had come to Forks, but Demetri’s power would be redundant unless we needed to flee and they pursued us, and Felix had no power apart from sheer strength due to his size.

They weren’t the only members of the guard, certainly not the only ones with powers, but these were the ones that mattered.

It was vital that none of us touched Aro bare skin to bare skin, in case he saw our thoughts and found out what we believed was going to happen.

We crested a hill, and Volterra was there in front of us, crowning the other side of the valley, the clock tower visible even from here. It rose above the other roof tops like a sentry, keeping watch above the town.

The road was quieter than when we had previously been here, our journey the opposite of our against-the-clock race to save Edward. We weren’t racing to get to the town as quickly as possible; we were taking as much time as we could.

There were no throngs of tourists crowding the streets as we drove through the city walls, although the town was by no means empty, but it looked so different without the masses in red cloaks. We parked in a lot designed for tourists, although we must have been the most somber group of visitors that ever came to Volterra, and followed the clock tower’s shadow towards the Volturi’s domain.

Edward knew the way and he led us to an imposing stone building behind the central piazza that, several storeys above, another tower sprouted from, rounder and squatter than the square, the majestic clock tower. It was utterly nondescript apart from that, built from the same rough-hewn ochre stone as the rest of the town. There was nothing to say this was the headquarters of the world’s most powerful vampires.

Inside was a different matter, and for a moment I thought we’d stepped into the reception area of a New York office building. Paneled in wood, richly carpeted and with plenty of seating, it didn’t match my expectations at all. The vampire sat behind the reception desk, idly flipping through a copy of Vogue even though she should have been on the cover of it, was closer to what I expected.

“Heidi,” Edward greeted, as warmly as he was able to – he was never any good at faking emotions, and it was clear he didn’t like her. She looked over to us, blinking strange violet eyes and feigning the same boredom as any other receptionist. It was all an act though, designed to fool any humans that might be unfortunate enough to stumble inside the building.

“You must be the Cullens,” she replied, the sullenness of her expression saturating her voice too. “Aro is expecting you. Continue through the doors and down the hallway. You know the way, Edward.” She smirked at him.

“Thank you,” he said, still feigning civility. “What happened to Gianna?”

“She reached the end of her usefulness. Demetri tells me she wasn’t particularly appetizing.”

Edward nodded then led the way, through a pair of heavy mahogany doors and into a wide hallway that was paneled in elaborately carved wood. We were out of the modern world and back into the medieval realm.

“Who was Gianna?” I asked Edward.

“She was their receptionist the last time I was here. She was human.”

“Human?” I echoed in shock.

“They do employ people, usually people from the town who are aware of the secret and wish to be changed. If the person proves to be particularly useful – or Aro believes they might gain an ability when they are changed – then they might be. Unfortunately, most begin to grate on some of the older vampires’ nerves fairly quickly and become a convenient meal instead. Heidi is filling in while they try and recruit a new receptionist.”

“Why did she have such peculiar eyes?” Jasper asked.

“Blue contact lenses,” Edward muttered. Blue over red – it created the purple hue of her irises, at least before the lenses dissolved.

We’d reached the end of the corridor next to a pair of doors covered entirely in gold leaf, but Edward ignored them and knocked on the panel opposite. It slid open a moment later, and Alec and Jane were behind it, appearing even more similar today, as Jane had pinned her hair back. They stood on either side of the gap like creepy bookends.

“Glad you could join us,” Jane said, her voice soft, but there was a macabre glee underneath it. Carlisle had pointed out that Jane delighted in using her power to inflict pain, although she could only do so on orders from one of the Volturi. I hoped Aro had her on a leash.

We stepped into another corridor, this one much shorter than the other. When the panel slid shut behind us, it was also dark, dark enough that a human wouldn’t have able to see anything. It wasn’t long before we reached our destination though, emerging into the throne room of the Volturi.

No one had ever called it a throne room, but that was the only thing I could think to name it as we entered. We were clearly up in the tower: the room was wide and circular, with completely unfurnished and undecorated walls, the same bare stone as outside, and the only windows were set high above our heads, thin slits that were the only source of light in the room. At one end, set back against the curve of the wall, were a handful of wide, tall wooden thrones, carved from heavy mahogany. Five of those seats were filled, and around them were scattered the other members of the guard that hadn’t come to meet us – I recognized Felix by his stature alone. It took a moment of searching, but in his shadow I saw a slight body and a head of brown curls.

Jane and Alec herded us toward the thrones and there the four of us stood in a row, like supplicants to the king – or prisoners awaiting a sentence from him.

“The Cullens are here to see you, Master,” Jane announced and curtseyed low as the central figure rose, his black hair shining in the beam of sunlight that hit it.

“Well, how wonderful!” Aro said, stepping closer to us. The other vampires fanned out casually, as if spreading out, but it was easy to see in my peripheral vision that they were surrounding us. All they would have to do was move closer and we would be caught in their knot. “Isn’t this wonderful,  _miei amici_?” he said to the figures still seated.

I took a moment to look at them – one, with shining white hair (Caius, as Carlisle had described him) and the other with the same long, black hair as Aro. This was Marcus. His attention didn’t appear to be on us, or on the world around him at all. There were two seated women, both Italian in appearance though their skin was as pale and crepey as Aro’s, the mates of Aro and Caius. The chair beside Marcus was conspicuously empty. A long time ago, Aro had killed Marcus’ mate – Aro’s own sister – to stop them leaving the coven. It had been a stark warning from Carlisle about how ruthless Aro could be.

“We’ve come, as you asked us to,” Edward said quietly.

Bree stayed to the left hand side of the thrones, eyes startling red and fixed intently on us. A few yards from Aro, a young woman stood poised, still but ready for movement. She had to be Renata.

“I’m glad to see you have honored our bargain. Isabella has survived the change magnificently.” He stepped in front of me, reaching out a hand, and I realized he intended to take mine. I had no choice but to hold it out to him.

His touch wasn’t as cold as it once had felt to me, but it didn’t make it any less repulsive. I tried to keep my smile bland and neutral.

He bent to kiss the back of my hand, but we all knew the real reason he was doing this. After a moment he straightened and moved back, curiosity alight in his features. “I still hear nothing from you. I take it this hasn’t changed for your husband?”

“No, unfortunately, he is still unable to hear me, much as it frustrates him.” I prayed that Jasper was doing his best to make everyone feel that little bit more trusting, and that they didn’t understand how subtle his ability could be. I could lie much better now, without the cues of my body to give the game away to vampires, but we still needed them to believe us without question.

“Useful,” he mused, “at least for yourself, in a protective capacity, as you were shielded from Jane, although I suppose you could only aid yourself. There would be no point in pitting you against Jane. However…”

He nodded at Jane, a fractional dip of the head, and in the next moment Edward was on the floor, back arching as he sought to escape the pain, his cries reverberating off the stone.

“Please!” I pleaded, falling to my knees beside him. “Stop it! STOP IT!”

Venom pooled in my mouth as my body readied itself to attack, instinct taking over as I prepared to protect my mate, but Alice came to stand beside me as Edward’s body relaxed to the floor, murmuring to me, “No, Bella.”

It was what we’d agreed. No matter what they did to us, if none of us were under threat of death, we weren’t to fight back. We could survive anything they did to us, but if we attacked any of them, we would never leave here alive.

Edward panted, reaching for my hand, eyes unfocussed on the stone of the ceiling. I stayed crouched beside him, while Jasper came to stand beside Alice.

Jane smirked broadly at me, although Aro looked disappointed. He’d retreated from us and Renata had moved even closer to him.

“It does appear that your ability to shield yourself is just tied to you, Isabella,” Aro said after a moment. “Even when Edward was in pain, you didn’t use it to protect him.”

I swallowed the growl that rose in my gut, working its way up to my throat. That had been a test to see if I was lying, or unaware of my ability to shield Edward, hoping it would manifest when he was at Jane’s mercy.

I decided that if we got out of Volterra I would dedicate the next few years, decades, however long I needed, to learning how to use my shield to protect him.

Jasper sent a wave of calm my way and the urge to fight, to leap up and rip Aro’s head from his shoulders, was washed away.

“As I said, I’m glad that you fulfilled the conditions of the bargain we struck, although I’m sure you know why I asked you to come here. Alice, at least, has surely seen it.”

We all nodded, reluctantly. Bree was still stood away from us, her expression inscrutable. This all rested on her desire to help us and leave with us. If something had happened to change that decision… But beside me, Edward and Alice shared glances. They were each checking on her and ensuring that decision remained true.

“I have seen that you wish for us to remain here in Volterra,” Alice answered, and she did a much better version of politeness than Edward; she sounded genuinely flattered. “However, you must understand that none of us have an aptitude for politics, and we have a commitment to our particular diet. I’m sure you’d do your best to accommodate us, but it would be difficult for us to hold true to our beliefs when blood was so freely available. You also need to know that my gift, in particular, is not as convenient as you might believe. I’m not infallible, and I have failed to see things that have had great consequences for our lives. The more people that are involved in the future I am seeing, the greater the chance there is for me to miss something or to be simply wrong.”

Aro appeared to consider this for a moment. “I’m glad that you are so honest, although I am sure you just have a healthy case of humility. We all have our blind spots, don’t we?”

A soft rap echoed from the direction of the stone corridor and everyone looked towards the sound. Caius sat up, suddenly interested, and Jane’s malicious smile grew wider. Alec strode off to open the panel and he returned with Heidi, who ushered a middle-aged couple in front of them, both olive-skinned with dark eyes and dark hair.

I stiffened, reaching for Edward’s hands. Even in a room this size, their scent permeated the space, causing the venom to flow and my instincts to rise.

“These are Gianna’s parents,” Heidi said. “They requested an audience to discover why she disappeared.”

“Thank you, Heidi,” said Aro, and she left us.

The woman was quaking with fear – it spiced her scent, made it richer and that much harder to resist – and in the silence that followed, while Aro studied her, she launched into an impassioned speech in Italian. Where I’d once not have understood her, Italian was the first language I’d learned since the change, in anticipation of this journey.

“Please, we just want to know what happened to our beautiful daughter. She worked so hard to be good enough for you. Did you make her like you? I don’t need to see her, I just need to know, so I can pray for her soul. Please tell us you made her an immortal and she survives. It’s too hard to go on without knowing what her fate was…”

On and on she pleaded, but both Alice and Edward were exchanging wary looks. “Bella,” Alice whispered as the woman carried on her plea, “Jasper, you both need to be prepared.”

Aro moved to stand beside the shivering woman and he took her hands in his. She froze at the contact, caught in his gaze like a bird hypnotized by a snake, and I had to look away.

“My dear one,” he said to her softly, benignly, “I can’t put your mind at ease, and neither can I let you leave this room. You will tell everyone what we are.”

“I won’t! I promise you that I won’t breathe this to a living soul -”

He shook his head and stepped back, pulling her with him, closer to Bree.

“I would offer you her blood,” he said to us, in English, “as you are our guests, but I know you will not be offended that I don’t.” Instead, Bree wrapped her arms around the woman from behind, one around her waist and the other around her neck, her hand cupping the woman’s face and tipping her head so the curve of her neck was elongated and bare. Then she bit down.

The scent of the blood as it filled the air was like a punch to the abdomen, the burn in my throat exploding and consuming me. I was dimly aware of Edward’s arms tight around me, restraining me, his soft voice whispering in my ear, fluid words about love and devotion, calming words about coming back to him through my bloodlust. Bree drank and drank and I struggled to reach her, watching the movement of her throat as she swallowed the rich blood.

But Bree was thirsty and she dropped the woman’s empty carcass to the floor in less than a minute, not a drop left to spill out onto the flagstones. Edward didn’t relax his grip and a moment later, someone retrieved the woman’s husband – who had dropped to his knees on the floor, his head bowed in fervent prayer – and they too fed, releasing another cloud of sweet, heady fragrance into the room. I clawed at Edward everywhere I could, desperate to get to the blood, but he carried on with his mantra until I stopped trying to escape from him, and softened in his arms.

The man was abandoned next to his wife’s body.

Now that the blood was gone, the burn was still there, more persistent than it was in day to day life, even though we’d fed only a few hours ago, but I was back in my mind, in control of myself. Next to us, Alice released Jasper from the kiss she’d initiated before Bree began drinking.

“Now why didn’t I think of that,” Edward murmured, and in any other situation, I’d have laughed.

“Demetri, Corin, would you mind?” Aro said, indicating the bodies, and they were bundled up and taken away. While that was happening, he turned his attention back to us.

“Of course, I was anticipating your answer, and I quite understand it, but I’m not sure you’re aware of how good life can be here with us.” He approached the corner where Bree was waiting, holding out a hand and leading her towards us. “You know Bree, of course. I thought you might like to hear from her, as she is the newest member of our family here in Volterra.”

This was it. Bree had been told to use her skills – no doubt vastly honed after a year here – to convince us to stay. If she had sided with the Volturi, then our only hope was that her power didn’t work on me, and I could break the others out of her spell somehow.

There was no hint that she had just fed, no drop of blood anywhere on her, but I no longer saw her as the young girl that needed saving. I was seeing her as a killer, the image of her teeth slicing into the woman’s neck fresh in my head and without the haze of bloodlust it was clearer to me. She was as much a monster as the rest of us. Oh, I’d been close enough to drinking myself, but I’d decided that if the worst did happen, I wouldn’t be feeding from humans, no matter what they offered me. I’d starve myself if I had to.

“I didn’t know what to expect before I came here,” she began, “but the coven have been more like a family than my human parents ever were. They’ve helped me gain strength and understand what it means to be like this. I’ve grown into the potential I had, and I’ll continue to grow with their help. I don’t have to hide what I am and I have freedom.”

In my peripheral vision, Aro was standing with his hands clasped together, already anticipating his victory. From her opening words, it certainly seemed like it would be a victory.

On the other side of me, Alice was smiling, still confident in the future she saw.

“But I don’t think they should stay here, Master,” Bree continued, and he looked at her in consternation. “They won’t be happy like us, even if they can feed on animals in the hills. Seeing people die around them will make them all miserable, and that will affect all of us.”

“Bree -” Aro began, his tone carrying a warning.

“They pose no threat to us,” she carried on, like he hadn’t spoken. “You know that Carlisle has no intention of replacing you. If he wanted power, he could have stayed here all those years ago when you offered it to him. His family just want peace, and you know what I say is true because I watched them for many weeks. To rip their family apart by forcing these four to stay here won’t gain us anything. If we allow them to leave, we keep them all as allies that we can call on again if we should ever need to.”

The other vampires around the room were nodding, clearly swayed by Bree’s words. There was no reaction at all from Marcus, but he hadn’t moved since we first entered the room. Caius was watching us all with an inscrutable gaze, and Aro was staring at Bree with confusion.

“This isn’t what we talked about, Bree. I want them -”

“Aro, just let them go,” Caius spoke up, his tone irritable. “They don’t want to be here. If we imprison them it means more work for the guard, making sure they don’t escape, and then you can’t utilize them anyway, and I see no need to kill them.”

Aro looked between Bree, Caius and our group, his confusion growing. He was fighting the persuasion Bree was working, but she’d definitely grown in skill.

“Master, if we let them go now, it will help us in the future. It’s the right thing to do. You know it is.”

“Well, when you put it like that…” He was back to his smiling self, seduced by her words. “I see no reason why you can’t leave. Please let Carlisle know he is greatly missed by all of us here, and if he ever wanted to visit himself he would be extremely welcome.”

He glided back to his throne, sitting down and smiling at us once last time. “Jane, Alec, please see our guests out.”

We retreated as fast as we could without being rude, but as we passed Bree, I saw Alice give her a questioning glance. Both Bree and Edward shook their heads at her, and as we entered the stone corridor she threw Edward a hurt look. We passed through the wooden panel without a word to our guides and into the hallway beyond. I gasped a breath at the freshness of the air, finally escaping from the taint of blood in the throne room.

“I don’t understand,” Alice said. “Why didn’t she come with us? All year, I’ve seen her as a member of the family, and it just changed so quickly…”

She was talking about Bree. Only then did I remember that Bree was supposed to come with us, but she’d given no indication that she’d wanted to leave Volterra.

“She’d fed too close beforehand,” Edward said. “She could still taste the blood and it swayed her decision. She didn’t want to give that up.”

“They got to her,” I said. “We were too late, in the end.”

“Maybe,” he replied. “But she wasn’t lying when she said they’d treated her well, like family. Jane hasn’t had anyone close to her age, other than Alec, and mentally in many ways she is still a young girl. She’s intrigued by the idea of Bree as a sister. Besides, Bree is still a young vampire. She may one day grow tired of the Volturi and decide to leave them. She’ll either become a nomad, or maybe she’ll come look for us then.”

“I just -” Alice said, hurt plain in her voice, “- it was so  _clear_. I didn’t even see it change, I was so focused on what Aro’s decision would be. We were going to have so much fun. It was going to be hard work, but when she was ready she’d come to school with us and it was going to be exciting again. Everyone would be so much more relaxed around her and we’d play games and throw parties without anything going catastrophically wrong. I know I had a sister when I was human, but I have no memories of her. Bree was going to feel like I really had one.”

“Maybe one day,” Jasper murmured, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her temple. “You can keep watching for her and if she ever changes her mind, we’ll come get her.” She leaned into his touch and I almost feel the comfort pass from him to her. It wasn’t his power; it was just one of the benefits of being a mated pair.

“What now?” I asked. We walked through reception – Heidi was nowhere to be found – and then out onto the street, into the fresh, clean air.

“I need to hunt again,” Jasper said. “It’s been too long so I’ve been exposed to human blood like that – and even that was just a paper cut.”

“How about you?” Edward asked me. “Are you okay?”

“I think I am, actually,” I replied. “I might need to hunt later, but for now I’m good.”

“We’ll meet you back at the car later,” he said to Alice and Jasper. “Where do you want to go after that – Rome? Milan?”

We hadn’t made fixed plans, despite bringing luggage and Alice’s assurances that it would be alright.

“The weather would suit us better if we head north,” Alice declared. She hadn’t quite shaken her despondence off, but time alone with Jasper would be the best cure for that.

“I’ll book for Milan, then,” Edward said.

“I love Milan,” she replied, then grabbed Jasper’s hand and they disappeared down the crooked street.

“So what are we doing while they hunt?” I asked.

He smiled slowly, relief and want brightening his expression. “We’re going to find our courtyard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miei amici – my friends


End file.
